White Horses and Cow Stroking

Most Hilarious Morning ever! So i’ve spent part of this fine morning, saddled on top of a white horse, dressed like a Pussycat doll, with a bacon butty in my hand and waving at fans, through fields of snow! Lol…Life doesn’t get much better. (Well it kinda really does…yet thats not ‘morning’ talk.) I’m finding it quite odd really as i have a lot of young girls lovers…(Wait! Haha! That sounds a bit dodgey. It’s a bit Gary Glitter) I mean ‘fans,’ who are all like ‘Yeah when i grow up, i wanna be just like you!’ Erm..? Even my own Mother said, ‘You should get a slap for that!’ (Haha) Hopefully they don’t read my blog. But ah well…yay to a future of sexy, foul mouthed, bratts! Delicious! Everyone was sooo sweet! I had a few piccies taken, signed a few pictures of my face and stroked a bitchy cow. This guy, insisted on me posing with his cow for pictures. (And i do mean the farmyard animal and not his wife…) I have a huge fear of farmyard animals, (let alone bitchy ones) after a goat once bucked me in the face as an infant and a lamb viciously nuzzled my vagina, when i was seven.  Hilarious! This cow as like, ‘Um, no bitch please! Back off!’ It was horrible, But whatever, i faked smiled my way through it and then pissed myself laughing at the fact that my new found reality tv recognition had lifted me to the lofty heights of cow stroking! Fame baby yeah!

Along the way, i trotted past (remember i’m on a horse, in snow) a good friend of mine, who decides it funny to heckle me. (And it is!) He was all ‘Oooh how Wicked Witch from the Chronicles of Narnia.’ Luckily his attire suggested a piss take. So with a giant Chrissie Wunna smile, and a wave i shouted ‘Oooh how, (as i point up and down his outfit) Minimum wage!!’ He just laughed and proceeded to throw rocks at me. Lots of swearing took place during this time.

Anyhow life is good. I’m loving it. The shows doing well. I’m brimming over with ‘Joie de vivre.’ I feel sexy, i feel whole. I’m attracting lots of male attention…they’ve been seperated into groups of ‘those who fancy me,’….’those who fancy people on tv (even if its only 2 episodes on a reality show. Lol..they start at the bottom of the rung.)’…..and ‘those who just fancy me ‘cos they think they can hook up with Paris Hilton.’ Hmm..? I’m just milking it all and i’m loving every second. I have huge Northern support and thats GREAT, as i usually only have the merry yet solid support of the Angelenos (those who reside in LA.) Infact, to all you guys…have fun at the stream of Pre-Grammy McDrunky parties that i’m missing, you bitches!!

I’m hoping to get out and meet as many of you as possible (it’s getting sorted right now…i will come to your town eventually.) I’m replying to all of your messages and all of your IM’s. (But’s thats because i have a natural interest in people and alternate walks of life. Which is code for…bored and nosey.) Please do take time to watch the show…it’s on repeat ITV2. The more i watch it , the more i love it. ITV just take the piss out of us BBF’s. It’s Hilarious!

Big shout out to the BOYS in the SEYCHELLES on their tropical ‘wish i was there’ island (see i told you i’d do it), who are readin my blog right now!!) Love you!!

Chrissie Wunna

3 thoughts on “White Horses and Cow Stroking

  1. i thikmn u are on the level chrissie u know i got your back babe even if i can be to much of a chav for u i love the way u tell it how it is and are always up for a lugh chrissie have a mustard weekend treacle and have some shampoo for me take careme old china tada scratch xxx

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