Superstar Bitches

So this morning has already been tremendous. I had to wake up at ‘stupid o clock ‘ to do a radio interview and sound happy and fluffy. It was a bit of a stretch due to my usual waking up at the dawn of 10.30am. Yet it was hilarious because i was still in bed, looking like a hag. Set my alarm for 30 mins before the interview, did my face (not sure why…now i think about it. Bimbo alert) and went back into a McSnooze until my phone rang, so i could give my fluffy interview.  When it did, I just swigged a swig of water, (it tasted musty, like it had been left there over night) and with a click and a ‘Hiii Sexy’ i was on merry interview at way! Love it. I’ve still lost my voice a bit, (from screaming out ‘OOooh i wanna dance with somebody,’ with the gays…) so i sounded a bit like a tranny! Silver tranny Ferocia Rocks!

Anyway, since i was up, i thought i’d have a tingle in town and have a morning breakfast. There’s no ‘Pink berry’ out here. There’s no Robeks juice store, so i had to settle for a fry up. God Ponty kills me. But i love black Pudding…in all senses of the phrase. (Ooh-er! Not even joking! Yeah! Yeah!) Anyhow, i got my friend to push me around in a Morrisons trolley, so i could take ‘i’m so fun’ pictures. But i forgot my camera, therefore i looked like a Prize Twat, rolling around in a shopping cart for no reason, and with a fucking bow in my hair! I got dropped off at some Army store, where i decided i was going to go in and ask for a Ninja Star…with me being a ninja and all that.

The random thing about it was the fact that the guy said ‘Let me just go have a look for you?’ What!!! Then he proceeded to say ‘Aren’t you that girl from that show??’ I always ask ‘which show’ to test their Chrissie Wunna knowledge, plus i’m starting to get stopped a lot. I’ve had one dude shout, ‘You fucking bitch, get on this photo with me. I love ur laugh!’ Then another middle aged woman come up to me, say ‘OMG, you’re Chrissie from that show’ then freeze, hold her hands over her mouth and cry. Then i had a really drunk chick, stumble up to me and say ‘You’re Paris fucking Hilton!-all in 3 hours!

However this Army store guy, who was finding me a Ninja star believes i’m ‘Americas Next Top Model!’ Hahahaha! Love it! I just milked it. Then he proceeded to ask what i was doing now…i just replied ‘Being a Ninja!’ Then he follows up by trying to set me up with his chubby friend, by pointing at him and saying ‘Here, you want him?? I paused in my full Glamour Puss glory. Adjusted my boobs. Did a 3 second up/down eyeball scan and said, ‘ Yeah not so much…’ LOL Life is goody!

6 thoughts on “Superstar Bitches

  1. dont diss the gold okd fashioned english fry up ot smashed th granny out of any breakfast they have in the states some proper caffes even do booze with your fry up tht is choice. i bet u sounded good on the radio treacle

  2. i know i think u got a bit o a sexy accent chrissie. but then a gain i go thailand land of the lady boys lol . no u doroper infectious laugh
    i felt like smacking them geezers in black when they were piping up interigating u

  3. is it well good for u i just thought they were getting a bit lemon from seeing it on the tv piping about your laugh and that. but i did think u came across well see i am only watching the show for u and all chrissie as soon as u go i aint watching it no more

  4. waking up early does not sound fun at ALL. I wonder how you were able to go thru that whole interview with 5 shots already in your system at search an early hour!

    All in all, I thought this was quite a funny entry, esp about the parts when people come up to you realize you’re famous and then get you wrong anyway (Paris Hilton? Really?)

Leave a Comment