My Worst Ever Audition

Woke up this morning thinking about one of my most tragic auditions. It was LA. I  had just got done reading for a casting director for an ‘Aaron Spelling’ show. I can’t remember what it was? ‘Charmed’ or something? I didn’t get it…that’s why i obviously can’t remember it. (lol) I jumped into a taxi, had to get changed into ‘urban/hip hoppy’ attire, in the back seat. Then get driven all the way to the Valley (Studio City,) to audition for the role of ‘host’ of a new dance show. (It was really quite rubbish. It came on telly for a brief spit, then got cancelled during the commercials or something.)

I remember leaping out the car because i was a wee bit late ( i hate being late for things…i’m always on time or 5 hours early.) Sitting in a corridor with a handful of other young urban hopefuls, who i’d seen a million times. Then i went in to read, dressed like a slutty urban hip hop chick. (I looked terrible) I talked to the casting director for about 2 glorious seconds, started to read my sides (which we’re written like i should be talking kinda thug-style….which doesn’t really work, when you’re British. Lol) She kept giving me direction and telling me to be a little more urban american, and a little more enthusiastic each time. ‘Shout it out to the crowds Christina!‘ The room was sooo small. I was literally on top of her and i felt sweaty. Nice!!

So i’m there, looking like a 5 ft 3 TIT, with this bright blue shirt on, that only had one arm and the words ‘FOXY’ printed across the front in orange. A furry pink (already doesn’t go) flat hip hop cap on, a pleated mini skirt and high heeled boots, being urban american thug style, with a dodgey british accent  trying to excite imaginary crowds and hopefully get this job. I had to do it almost 4 times and she soooo wanted me to do well. (lol) The fifth time, i remember, stumbling around, screaming out my ‘sides’ and actually ever so cooly tripping over my own high heeled boot, falling on my pretty disturbed face, landing in a heap and this is after smashing myself against a concrete white wall, that now  had a smeary glittery trail of  Chrissie Wunna fake tan and bronzer, then simply looking up at here in desperate hope…

And with a ‘Yeah you did great. Thankyou!’ (They always say that to you, even if you do badly.) I was sent on my merry way. It was HILARIOUS. I was soo young and it was one of my earliest auditions. I remember i use to always try way too hard. Now i’m Cool like Fonzee and it’s amazing how much more work you get. (Hahaha.)

5 thoughts on “My Worst Ever Audition

  1. is aaron speeling the mush who did 90210 his stuff is cheesey u want to do a david sullivan show only fools and horses pisses on any american sitcom and until death do us part alf garnett is the fucking daddy

  2. i aint but lets have it right how good is only fools and horses and i would hire u any day if u auditioned for me chrissie put u would have to learn how to speak proper like lol

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