Oh god. I’m tipsy on white ‘hate it’ wine and having one of those moments when you have a little thinky about your ex-husband. Not that any of you have one…but I do ( as we all know) and he was the love of my entire life. We were each others ‘big love,’ so to speak. I mean, i was complelety fine, until i saw something online and read onward…then i missed him and decided to get sad and drink wine, as it’s better than tears. (Oh shit, i’m gonna regret writing this in the morning.)
I guess there’s always gonna be that ‘one’ person, who was your first ever love, and that one person who you never get over. Yet we’re both trying to de-sensitize ourselves from one another..which doesn’t work very well. Therefore,we’re having to completely snip each other, out of the others life. When we’re apart…it okay, as our careers, drive, ego and ambition get the better of us, but when we’re together, no matter where, when, or who were dating…this crazy ‘pull’ lulls us toward each other.It’s uncontrollable and unbreakable. And we end up…well you know where we end up…!We have to spend moments like this concentrating on the ‘bad’ things we know about each other.
Since, i’ve been in England, i’ve haven’t spoken to him once and it’s horrid, yet good because even though we’re now divorced, we’ve always been together, whenever we could. So this trip has cut a major tie.
I mean, we’ll always love each other, yet we have different paths to take right now…even though we both seem to be taking the same old path.
‘Latin Lover’ is gonna be a upset ..yeah…when he reads this, but y’know…i’m not too bothered, because he too will have that ‘one’ person, who’ll he’ll always love, right? Plus, i’ve already talked to him about it, exactly 2 seconds ago. He’s one of those ‘understanding’ guys. Lucky me! I’m honest, so i ramble on about all the bad things i’ve done. He just shakes his head, talks me through them and tells me he loves me…with a ‘You’re Greatness!’ (Which is something Michael would never do.)
I need more wine…. I’ve taken a new path and..it feels GREAT! I’m happy. I say, shake off old news, and nuzzle in the NEW!! Just a minor moment of weakness my fellas…but give me a minute and i’ll be back on top form.
Oh Kat just facebooked me…thank god. My saviour!!