Yep, You heard! Miss.Wunna has just discovered the power of rubber gloves. They are an amazing way to cause trouble and not have an ounce of mucky evidence on your freshly powered downed handies!! You can do pretty much ANYTHING in rubber gloves and still have hands, smelling and feeling so fresh and so clean clean afterward. (Wait…i’m busting a move! I went for the electric slide.) They are TREMENDOUS!! I mean, i never realised how wonderful a set of bright yellow, rubber hand- shaped hands, (odd) could end up being really? I just washed a few dishes, since I had them all and all that jazz! I enjoy washing dishes. It’s fun to me, y’know a little bit of a treat….as i was never got to do chores as a child. There’s something oddly satisying about grabbing something so grimey, then ferociously scrubbing it until it’s clean and having not a single stain on your pretty hands, left as evidence. I LOVE IT! I am always gonna wear rubber gloves. I’m taking them to the club with me! Infact, i’m wearing these bitches right now!
I always say that girls who are good at washing dishes (i enjoy it, but i’m not ‘good’ at it,) are pretty decent at the old ‘heave-ho.’ (‘hand jobs.’) Y’know, the art of wanking it. Scrubbing something clean. Polishing something off. Making it ‘squeak.’ I can’t be bothered with such jiggery pokery. I’m really rubbish at it. I think it’s a talent where being selfish and impatient is a major hinderance. I’m unfortunately both. So God Bless, any male having to endure a ‘pull off’ from Me. (Poor soul!) I usually have a deliberate face of boredom, then go faster and faster, squeeze tighter and tighter, until it hurts so badly you’re crying and wincing in pain. Infact, I’ve usually past all lines of sanity by then and chosen to morph into ‘evil banchee woman.’ ( The face and everything! ) It takes too long and plus, it’s something you guys do so much better to yourself…i can’t compete with 20 years of personal strokage.
Wouldn’t it be hilarious if a mans penis actually did ‘squeak.’ Like make a clown like ‘honk,’ whenever you squeezed it! It would make ‘wanking’ so much more entertaining. Well not for you guys, as you couldn’t sneak off to the bathroom and have a ‘quick pull’ without it sounding like the Circus was in town. (Cue: circus music and animated honks!)
The depth of the ‘honk’ would determine, the ‘depth’ of the ‘piece.’ I could wiggle around a club, squeezing random man pouches and right away know whether it would be a waste of any girls time!! The 3 inchers would have the mousey ‘peep’ and the 10 inchers would have the ‘Boat coming in’ fog horn!! I’d do it in RUBBER GLOVES! (Just got a flash back of a handsome guy once pulling down his pants in a car, showing me his ‘meat’ and saying in his most manly, gruffy voice ‘Yeah, yeah…look how big it is! Can you take this!! Is this big enough for you!!’ If i squeezed it…it would’ve teeny ‘peeped.)’ But whatever, you can’t tell a guy his penis small. He’ll never buy you diamonds. So i lied like a champion!