I’m a bit worried about the friends i keep. One of them IM’ed me from Japan this evening. His dad knows my dad and his little sister went to school with me….or something? Anyway he has just moved to Japan…to get his ‘easy peasy japanesy’ on…i guess? I’ll call him ‘Okine.’
So ‘Okine’s’ saying ‘Hi’ (via IM) and how he’s gonna have to get a job soon or his money will completely run out (Noooooooo!) I suggested he sold his body for sushi. He told me that he’s not too worried about being poor because ‘on many nights rich bankers have been buying him drinks, after feeding them approximately 10 minutes of bullshit.’ LOVE IT! Does he mean, 10mins or 10 inches??
He apparently has three lies going. One is…he teaches there sons English at school. Another is…he’s the son of a gold mine owner. Who owns mines in Ghana. And the third is…i can’t really care to remember, yet it has something to do with making women feel sorry for him! (Hahahaha!) He deserves trophies! Now that’s survival!!
Anyway ‘Okines’ going on about how hot the girls are in ‘easy peasy japanesey’ and i suggested that he ‘shag them all’ and ‘immediately.’ (You snooze, you lose!) Oddly he said ‘No.’ (He’s one of those annoying good guys.) Yet he knows this one girl who likes to party with the Gays. So off he trots to get his boogie on and loves it, as he’s fresh meat and is getting all the attention. I think he said, ‘If i was gay. I would NOT be in a closet!’ I mean jeeze…put a straight man, in a gay bar for one night and he thinks he’s fricking Madonna. (Haha!) So I believe I made fun of him for about 3 sentences, only for him to tell me that he saw a pretty japanese girl, dancing up against this one gay dude..who swiftly ‘smoothy smoothes’ his way away from girl, and towards ‘Okine..’ Then whispers, ‘I’m living my hetrosexual nightmare!’ (hahahahah…love it) and pushes the pretty japanese girl onto him! (Which you would think was a good thing..) Yet apparently the girl started being too much of an ‘aggressive dancer’ (love that term) that she actually accidentally cut him…(hahah..sorry i’m pissing myself) mid body- pop.
It’s just too brilliant! I love knowing my friends are suffering in all sorts of countries, all over this goddamn world. It seriously cracks me up! I’m sick! Then he fucking has the cheek to suggest I go out there and visit him!! WHAT!!! And get cut by a bunch of girls who look just like me, but with aggressive dance moves! Me thinks not Darling!