Just got done lunging! I HATE lunging. Infact, lunges were created by the Devil. I just don’t understand the point to them, yet apparently if i do my fair share, i will have an ass like ‘J-Lo,’ buns of steel, a firm peach (instead of a sagging pair of balls) and lots more free drinks from boys. It’s definitely worth it!
I’m not keen of working out. I like it, when it’s cleverly disguised as ‘fun,’ yet other than that, it’s my worst nightmare. I’d rather gauge my own eye out, with a rusty bread knife and eat it. I’m comfortable in my body…i LOVE it..it loves Me. However, people in high places keep making me ‘lunge’ my way to apparent victory. BASTARDS! I mean, i’ve had personal trainers all my life. But it’s never to stay fit. It’s always because they’re hot. What personal trainer has anyone had, that hasn’t tried to have sex with them? That’s the best part. If they’re not having sex with you, then you should ask for your money BACK! I know loads, and they all have sex with you. It’s ‘hey do 20 squats’ and before you know it you’re on their bed, ‘squatting’ in all the right positions. It’s magically delicious!!
Anyway, i”ve been making tea, and lunging. Collecting my mail…and lunging. Walking up the stairs…and fucking lunging. I LOOK LIKE A MORON, and I HATE it!! Lunging, bending, squatting…whatever. I don’t get it??? I understand the concept of stretching, and reaching for things, but lunging is merely a fools chore, created by a the merriest of fools, who hasn’t yet realized, it’s much easier to simply ORDER someone to bend down and get it FOR YOU!! Who the hell needs ‘buns’ of bloody ‘steel!!’ Mine are perfectly FINE oriental bundles of meaty flesh. They probably taste like chicken!! (Come to think of it..i’ve just squidged one, and yeah i should probably keep lunging…lol)
Just had a flashback of a bartended in LA, who told me to show him my chest (pre-boob job.) I said ‘no’ (didn’t really, i showed him a bit of clevage) then told him to ‘get his dilly dally out.’ He said, ‘I can’t. If i did, it would jump out of my pants, leap over the bar and poke you in the eye.’ Hilarious!! I love my life!!
Chrissie Wunna x