Open Mouth Eating Whores

I hate people who talk with their mouths full. It’s rarely a treat, and always a disaster. I understand if you haven’t been taught basic ‘table etiqutte.’ Yet if you have…and banana walnut muffin, is falling out your mouth when you speak to me…I will trump your rudeness, by being rude back!! (An eye for an eye, and all that jazz!) I hate open mouth eating whore faces. It’s fucking RUDE!! I don’t want a sentence of trailing spit and crumbs on my plate before noon, and especially not during sober hours. I’m not as understanding.


I’m about to go for a massage, (oooh laaa) so i’ve got to try and speed this up. I adore a weekly massage, as i feel like my bodies being ‘loved upon’ and healed after a hard week of emotional beat downs. Makes me feel alive. They’re an essential part of my life now, as i’ve lived every form of life from Lush Asian Palaces to Los Angeles Cardboard boxes…and everything in between. I did it out of curiousity, (which killed the cat, but seem to save me) and this random need to really experience everyone’s life. I’m now not scared of anything, but Farmyard animals and Midgets! (Especially Midgets! I will never get over one, dry humping my leg in a club. I was sexually abused by Hip Hop midget. It’s a sad story! I have ‘migdet boner’ scars. I should call the News of The World.)


I have all these people wandering around Me, and i have no idea who any of them are, except one…who i believe is my Father and this other one (dressed like she’s an audience member of ‘The Price is Right,’) who looks like she’s about to do my hair. I’ve had to just scream ‘GET OUT OF MY OFFICE,’ to one of them….even though, i’m not in, or don’t have and office. However, i’m under the misconception that when i write my blog, any personal space around Me is now my OFFICE. I should refer to my ‘Vaginal area’ as ‘office space.’

5 thoughts on “Open Mouth Eating Whores

  1. i eat with me mouthful saves waieghtin and henry the eigth did it so it is cushtie chrissie. i got ot say i dont mind a massage know chrissie i had me first one in thailand in may and i will definatlky have another one while i ma over there

  2. nah not when u are from my mannor chrissie eat booze talk shout at the same time it saves time wasting lol. i will try to eat with etiquate that is what me old girl says lol do u like people with good table mannors then babe

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