Morning my sexy little Chimps. Didn’t get much sleep last night, as i had good old fashioned ‘sorting out my life’ to tend to, until 2am, only to have to wake up at 7am because i thought i heard a ghost, in the form of an ‘invisible man’ running up my hallway. I don’t mind ghosts. I just wish they weren’t so noisy. It’s rude. (Fucking Attention Whores.)
I’ve also lost 4lbs, (in weight, not ego) simply by chasing things that don’t wish to be chased..(pets/boys/ghosts/the wind.) It’s almost GENIUS! You eat as much bread as you can possible manage, then just frantically run after things that are terrified of you. I think there’s a workout video in that! ‘Chase yourself thin!’ Oh Sod it, i can’t be bothered.
Hugh Jackman (voted Sexiest man Alive) is on my tv set, and yes it’s quite a feast for my eyes, with my morning cuppa tea. I met him once (don’t you just hate it when people say that,) on a red carpet in Santa Monica. Some crazy beautiful, bat of a lady, was filming a ‘never got picked up’ pilot for MTV. I was in a grocery store buying eggs. She kind of saw me, thought i should be on her show, and without ‘written consent’ dragged me into her car, took me to her house, and filmed the rest of ‘our’ day together. I had to pretend we had known each other for years. Like i was her real life buddy. I think she thought i was?
Long story, short…hours later, I found myself getting roped into this job of greeting celebs, at one end of the red carpet (as they arrived) and escorting them to the ‘stand and pose’ area of the red carpet. I basically fed them to the ‘papparazi.’ Delicious! ‘Jackman’ was one of the blokes, and he was LOVELY!!!
After ages the ‘paps’ started getting bored and moaney, ‘cos they were waiting for the cast of ‘The O.C.’ It was my dinner break, and i felt like my squeezy tight pink dress, was being wasted, so we (the ‘paps’ and I) ran off the carpet, down an alley way and did ‘take the piss,’ glamour shots, by a giant skanky garbage skip. I got my bum out and everything. Hilarious! Then i ran back 10 minutes later and greeted a host of other magical ‘A’-listers. (Ha-ha) Later on, it became a game with the ‘paps’ who had turned over to the dark side and got a bit pervy. I didn’t care to run off again, to do any more shots. (One time it’s funny. Two times, you’re a SLUT.) But luckily, they found these 2 wannbe stars mid-red carpet walk, who quite willingly trundled off down the alley and ‘made out’ for pictures. They showed me them! Hoooooooollllywooood!