Sitting in my boudoir, stroking a pussy, contemplating taking over the world, (wink wink) and reading an email from a boy i had sex with a couple years ago which states: ‘You’re a fiendish, cunning, oriental SWINE! Why am i so turned on?’ I just clicked delete, (ho-hum) as i’m so over him trying to get into my pants. Just because i had a little ‘bedroom shuffty’ with him one time, because he was the only straight person in a gay bar, doesn’t mean i will ever want to talk to him again. Plus, i’m more ‘Greedy Queen of Greatness,’ than ‘oriental swine’ now. The times have moved on. Oooh i love the word ‘Greedy.’ Gets my juices flowing. in all the right ways.
All i remember is that he was poor, fancied me, taken back to my appartment, and because i refused to ‘put out’ without protection, he leaped out of bed, onto my balcony, down a pipe and ran (at the speed of light) up Beverly to the nearest gas station at 2.30am, to purchase a merry band of condoms. He ran back, my roomate came in, oddly with a jug of water and a Disneyland cup, left…letting ‘boy’ in with ‘protection’ and i ‘put out.’ He was actually good at sex. But really that was all. None of the other boxes we’re ticked. Yet still, i class it as a great talent, so i’m sure some rich lonely lady somewhere will want him. He was a major ‘gold digging, money-grabbing whore,’ which makes me sick, especially in boys! I always want to ruin their lives. I don’t like to be taken advantage of…EVER. (Ninja, ninja, therapy please…)
I saw him at ‘Coffee bean’ a year afterward, (well i think it was a year, could’ve been a week) in a silver BMW that belonged to his 42 year old girlfriend. She was at work, (go figure) so he asked if i wanted to ‘Christen the back seat.’ I think he thought he was ‘The Fonz.’ So I politely pointed out his ‘wankerisms,’ and with an elegant flick of my hair, finished off my small coffee, and left him feeling like he got his ‘woo’s woo’s’ mixed up with his ‘diddly-bums.’ I never talked to him again..oh apart from this one time in a bar, when i needed to steal cigarettes from him, for my boyfriend. I even introduced him as ‘One night stand.’
Some perv on facebook called ‘juan’ has just asked me if i like anal sex. Welcome to my life!
Chrissie Wunna x