Take a cheeky squeeze

Shared a bed with my Mum last night, because i was scared a mouse was gonna come up on my bedside table and eat a box of chocolates. Random, but true! Anyway, NEVER again, i woke up to the sounds of her banging a bell (God knows where she got it from) up against the iron bed posts, repeatedly at 6am, and then bashing the wall behind the headboard, (like her life depended on it) with a firm alarm clock, and a dream catcher. I did ask why? She said because she was scared a mouse had got in, was on the bedside table and was eating a box of chocolates! (hahaha!) Now you get why i’m a total whack job! Hurrah!! Bloody looneys!!

The BBC breakfast show is currently telling me that Lizards are the new Labrador. Nice try! I don’t F****** think so! It’s Christmas you spaz, no-one wants a bloody Lizard, we won’t magical reindeer and whisky, with white bearded men!! On the other channel is a quiet documentary on ‘Beavers.’ (Love the word ‘beaver.’) He’s said ‘beaver’ approx. 47 times, in 2 minutes. ‘Soft BEAVER re-introduction….Checking the habitats of young BEAVERS!’ Priceless piece of knowledge! When i grow up, i want to be HIM!!

God, i need tea, i can’t concentrate, but i will say, (before i love you and leave you) that i cannot stand overly sensitive, no sense of humour girls!! OH MY GOD!! Grow up!! I was with a girl last night who’s a closet ‘attention whore,’ so when a gaggle of boys flirt with her, in a ‘cheeky chappy’ way…she turns it into some ‘cry baby’ drama, instead of laughing along….even though she loves it!! Wrong way to deal with it!!ANNOYING!!

I adore a bit of cheeky banter with boys! (I know you well and you’re harmless!!) All my friends are guys, so i understand them, and a lot better than i do girlies. (Ooooh Sailor!) I’ve heard it all, and love ‘Boy talk,’ as all the things they’ve done to girlies, has happened to Me (funny)…it’s quite educational!! (haha) So I don’t fricking go around scorning them for having a good time!! Get over yourself! (Shit, i’m a ‘grump’ today.)

Bottom line a cheeky Northen gaggle, IS going to cheer when you walk into a bar, and comment on your ‘jubblies.’ A bunch of Essex boys ARE going to want to give ya bum, a nice naughty squeeze. (Geezer, Geeeeezer!) An LA boy WILL say whatever he can to ‘hump’ ya ‘lump’and not mean it…. Infact, if you ask me, it’s the boys that don’t openly say things like that, you’ve got to be more careful of!!!

Chrissie Wunna x

1 thought on “Take a cheeky squeeze

  1. i love your ways of saying we say geezer a lot babe it is fridge freezer know lol. it is always good to have a laugh amd a friendly lil bit of banter never hurts. that is why u a quality and it sounds like your friend could be a bit annoying. have a great week chrissie u got much planned babe?

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