Here Pussy Pussy

Eww…i’ve got a horrid, ‘had too much tea’ taste in my mouth. Disgusting! Anyway, i’ve given up on my conquest to ever find the right kitten, (I guess, Kittens really aren’t just for Christmas) and because i was all moody about the whole situation, ( i get frustrated when i don’t get what i want) my Mother buys me a little gift, to essentially ‘turn my frown, upside down.’ I have a guy in my ear asking me why there are no longer any shows based on ‘Post offices??’ Say no to drugs kiddies!

Anyhow, yeah…I am now the proud owner of the most random tiny sized, fuzzy (meant to be furry) toy cat thing, with stuck on googly eyes, a patch that says ‘Possible choking hazard,’ and a ribbon coming out of it’s arse with the words, ‘Sexual Health’ printed on it!!! What!!??!! I like chandeliers, diamonds, and cham-(flipping)-pagne, not….i don’t even know what to call it? (hahahahaha) It is quite hilarious!! I could use it as a ‘fluffer.’ It’ll give you a sturdy 8, in 2.4 seconds. ‘Ooooh Matron. Put that pussy away!’

So fuck it, NOW I am GETTING a bloody kitten, and it will EAT this f****** ‘sexually healthy’ fuzzy felted toy kitten, and then we’ll all drink Cristal, wear feather boas and make whooppee, to the merry sounds of VICTORY!!!

Why does everyone think Obama invented the phrase ‘Yes we can??’ Surely it was ‘Bob the Builder.’ And why does everyone think i am hiding my ‘hurt’ under 10 coats of eye makeup??? I mean, who wants to look at a bunch of girls, who look like they just woken up!! I wear my eye shadow like this because i’m a hussy….not because my Daddy didn’t love me! Jesus! This lady in LA, (she’s like nearly 40) always comes up to me (when she’s wasted) and starts going on about how i should wipe my makeup off, (that’s hiding my hurt) because one time in Australia, she bonked a 19 year old Rabi, and she didn’t have a single speck of makeup on her face. I think she’ll find the rest of the story wasn’t so wonderful, and if she did bother to put a bit of slap on…she might have got a bit more than a 4 awkward pumps!! (hahaha)

She hates me! I want a kitten. TWO!

5 thoughts on “Here Pussy Pussy

  1. u funny fucker why dont u go to the cat version of battersea dog home if they have got one or do u want a proper guvna citty or something . good luck getting one chrissie

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