Put that in ya flute and choke it

Okay, so the whole point to life is that it’s flipping LIVED!!! I’ve just sat in a room full of people, who are too terrified to act the way they really want to act, or say the wrong thing at the wrong time, or have a drink if they need a drink, and it’s simply driving me INSANE!!! I don’t understand who people feel they need to impress, by acting in such a bizarro manner? Impress YOURSELF!!! I do on a daily basis, and it really does work!! I fumble all the time, and yes it impresses me!!! And whether you like it or not, it impresses you too!! (Sleeping beauty has just run out of her cottage crying. Oh No!….I have the DVD on right now. It’s quite rubbish.) Anyway, just incase you didn’t know, you really can do whatever you want, whenever you want. There are no rules to your life!! You’re supposed to make the most of it before you get ravaged by apes and DIE! It’s all good, pull that pole out ya arse. I mean, if there ever was an Ambassador of living life, a face of fun, the girl who dares to challenge what the Dear Lord has laid out for her, with a cocktail, a boob job, and a little bit of magic…it’s ME. And my life is pretty brilliant….God i’m such an egotistical fart!!! Champion!!!

Saying all that i’m really quite bored right now. Yeah, for the girl that laughs in the face of boredom…i haven’t exactly done much today except piss people off. Everytime i try to snigger in boredoms face, all i get is the middle finger flip off….and not the good kind (wink, wink, purr.) I feel like i need to be entertaining people, and i’m not, so i’m all glitter, with no gala. I’m a sad case!! Luckily, i’m HOT!

I think i feel weird because it’s that odd time of year, where it’s not really Christmas, yet not really time for Bonfire night? I think it’s a rubbish time of year, for everyone around the world. I mean, in LA right now…the buzz in the town fizzles down, in Burma they’re still starving and well in England it’s odd….until the christmas spirit kicks in!!

Shit, i forgot to tell you. I almost electrocuted myself today simply by plugging in a plug. Sparks flew for a good 3 seconds. I thought my life was over and all that good stuff. Then armed with a bunch of AA boys (and i do mean AA as in boys who fix cars, and not ones that use to be alcoholics), a friend turns up, all cold and moany to slag off Rachael who won ‘Big Brother.’ I also believe she wasn’t a worthy winner. I’d like her if she was a bit more of a slut, and not such an ‘i don’t know, i’m all good, i love Disney.’ Ugh!! Anyway, i ended up getting in a tissue fight on the lawn, in booty shorts, and ‘boots with the fur.’ ‘Tissueing’ people is so wasteful. I ran out of water, so (and i am aware that this is quite disgusting) i grabbed a handful of peachy soft paper, and dipped it into my flute of champagne, with the best Dennis the Menace face ever, in order to win the fight!! There is something very wrong with someone who dips tissue in her champagne, and throws it at innocent friends. Yet there’s something very right about someone who’s just recieved a cuddly, talking ‘Tweety Bird’ from LA, by a handsome boy..who thinks she’s GREATNESS!! I ROCK!!!

1 thought on “Put that in ya flute and choke it

  1. u are to funny babe i hope u are ok know treacle and u wentr to shaken up by nearly getting elecricuted. i make u right about life is for living irt aint a dress rehursel is it u only get on so make the most of it. i hope u have a lovely night chrissie and that u continue ot enjoy tweetie bird take care chrissie tada scratch xxx

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