My boobs, my spice rack, the chest… is going to be the subject of this delightful evening. I can’t tell you how EXHAUSTED i am of my jubblies, my lovely bunch of coconuts, out fucking shining me. They keep popping out unexpectedly and stealing all my limelight. This was not meant to happen!! They were simply meant to become a minor part of MY incredible life. I was not meant to become a minor part of THEIR ‘not even real’ life!!! UGH!!
I understand that they’re quite naughty boobies, and have a definite mind of their own (just like their Mama)…which actually is bizarre, since they don’t move for shit!!! How can something that doesn’t move, be so wild, and evil?? I have seriously evil boobs!! They hate everything, but the limelight!! At times, i even think they hate ME and I fucking raised them!! (Which actually doesn’t say much about my parenting skills!!!!) I have ungrateful boobs!! They are bitches!!
Y’know i can’t even shimmie anymore. Yeah!! It’s due to the fact that they are 2 very solid, yet perfectly sculpted, ‘E’ sized mounds. They’re kinda snobby and nobody likes snobby boobs. All they do is stand tall and brave. They do not move a single inch, no matter how hard i McShakey. I’ve owned them for a few months now, and there has been no softening up. I massaged them like crazy, so i don’t get it…and it’s not like they haven’t been felt up by EVERYONE!! So i’ve decided that i guess i just have boobs that are there to be looked at, rather than milked or squeezed!! Dn’t get me wrong, i love them dearly, and they are fun. They just get moody once in a while and try to out do me!! I’m not having it anymore goddamit!!!
When i think i’ve palled up to them, my nipple decides to backstab me, and make a cheeky unannounced appearance. And the hilarious thing about it, is that when my peeking nip pops out, people never ever tell me!! (haha) INSTEAD, they invite a friend to come view the sight. Who will then giggle, then invite another friend to have a sneeky peeky…who in turn, gather a herd of new fancy folk to stare at the evil nipple…until eventually someone is laughing so hard, that i suddenly realize i’ve been standing around a posh bar, with a nipple out. It’s funny!!!
I swear my boobs are secretly boobs of mass destruction. They’re lethal. I’m sure if i just pushed the right button, bullets would shoot out and destroy small nations!!! I mean, they’ve already destroyed a few ego’s. The first being my own!!!! Save me from myself!! I have bitchy boobs!