My life is like a Countdown conundrum. It’s a jibble jabble of letters that hopefully one misty day, a ‘wordy genius’ will figure out for me. There’s a great deal of excitement about to be poured upon me, by the glittery pink bucket load. I can’t wait, however the waiting IS actually killing me, therefore i might be pathetically DEAD ( i know, how irresponsible of me,) before i it gets round to the exciting ‘glittery bucket load’ stuff. I can’t contain myself, but i need to try, as i’m looking like a TWAT, all smiley and jumpy. I’m British, smiley and jumpy, is odd. I can’t believe i’m 27 and still learning how to be British? (The fact that there might actually be a ‘how to be british’ book, cracks me up.) I did take a detour though, with me being a stinky pile of alsorts, squashed together into one Burmese, Hollywood, but very English meaty lump. Delicious Delores! Put that in ya Kidney pie and…um?? It’s morning, i’m slow….bare with me.
Anyway, Good morning and everything my Darlings. I’m about to make new tea, as this one has dead flies in it. It’s Autumn, and i never loved Autumn, until now. It’s fresh, it’s crisp, and when i was about 7, my prep school around this time, would hold an ‘Interhouse Conker Competition.’ My mum was wasting all that money on Posh private prep school, and all we seemed to be doing was aimlessly smashing conkers into each other, for ‘housepoints,’ after singing, ‘He’s got the whole world in his hands.’ I need to go. I’m in desperate need for a tan. I look like i’ve been powdered down with icing sugar. The weather rocks, but the ‘can’t get a healthy glow’ thing sucks hairy balls.