‘£-Stretcher’ not my favourite place in the world ever, yet a good (but i’ll never speak to her again) friend of mine, suggested i refrain from emptying buckets of cash, on products that i can be purchasing for about £1, from ‘£-Stretcher.’ She has been doing this for years, and it’s basically the same stuff, but with Arabic writing scrawled upon it…and only costs £1.
Reluctantly, i followed her on an adventure. Biggest mistake EVER!! I spent the whole morning, wondering around bloody ‘£-Stretcher’ getting stared at by everyone, as i aimlessly walked around the store with some random mop i thought i should get, because it was only £2. I looked soooo ‘Little Bo Peep/Lost her sheep,’ well..’Little Miss Mop, that lost her ….Top??? I was finding it about as funny as a funeral. I had a Dior bag in one hand, and a giant grey mop in the other, and an old man, tape measuring my back for a box??? Nothing is the same in those stores, as they are in regular shops. It’s just a massive closet of grey plastic junk, that has ‘past their sell by date’ biscuits…. next to sofas… next to nappies… next to makeup thats been used…. and things don’t cost £1 at all, my mop was £2!! You can walk into anything in that store, and it won’t at all break. I had a face like thunder, my friend had a face of glee…(she loves that place!!) I ended up buying 2 toothbrushes, a mop, some dish cloths, 7 GIANT plastic boxes, an all surface cleaner thing (cos it was pink), and 12 pillows! JUNK!! Now they’re all just piled up infront of me, in a living room heap, like they’re waiting for some random Shitzu to come pee on them. Infact, i want to pee on them!! Those places need to give out tequila shots at the doors, before you enter and add fucking ‘go-go’ dancers!! It’s the most boring adventure island in this world ever. There’s Hell, 50 feet of crap, then this place called ‘£ Stretcher,’ where God sends all the really naughty kids. BE WARNED!!!
It forced me to have a panic attack and immediately get pampered at a nail salon, as i couldn’t take what had just happened to me?? I rushed straight out of my grey plastic hell hole, and into a girlie flowery haven of beauty and light. Even my manicurist was like, ‘Oh, you brought a… mop?’