Material girl

Was on the phone briefly to ‘Latin Lover’ just now, who along with claiming that every time i verbally abuse him, he gets a ‘massive boner,’ is also threatenning to come fly out to ENGLAND, with his ‘country bunkin’ friend!! He’s always ruining things, especially my love life!! Anyway, i’ve managed to lie to him numerous ways, and call him ‘GAY’ about 27 times…so hopefully he want be making an appearance anytime soon. The shock went straight to my nerves, and made me drop my diamonds down the toilet mid-pee. This is always a difficult situation?? Do you stop peeing? Do you continue peeing? Or do you just flush?? I made the executive decision to continue peeing, wipe my arse, have a good look, then before throwing my tissue down the toilet, reach in there with my bare arm and scramble for it!! You never realise how materialistic you are, until you find yourself, scrambling for diamonds, at the bottom of the bowl you’ve just peed in!! Delicious! Anyway, i saved them from drowning, and therefore saved myself from a modest ‘lack of diamond-ness.’ If he makes me drop my jewels again, i’m dumping him AND his trouser tent….not really, i wouldn’t have anyone to yell at. Wow, love is bliss!

3 thoughts on “Material girl

  1. So you were on the loo while talking on the phone and playing with your diamonds?

    There’s a mental picture to treasure! 😀

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  2. u do make me laugh u were chatting to your fella while having a jimmy. i dont know what i would do i would probaby do the same thing if it was me gold chain. wont his ocuntry bumbkin friend like thid lovely country then chrissie

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