Skinny jeans bitches

OH MY GOD!! I can fit into my skinny jeans! MY SKINNY JEANS!! Rejoice! You’re all boys, so you have no idea how actually joyous this occasion is!! It’s like finding out your friends hot model girlfriend, DOES secretly want to masturbate infront of you afterall, but times by a million!!! I told my mum i wanted to fit into these bastards just over a week ago, and like she does Mummy Dearest makes all my dreams come true…plonks me on an unfit diet and ‘HURRAH…’ we have RESULT!! I guess the proof really ISN’T in the pudding afterall? I know you all probably don’t really care, but it’s all about Me right now (as always)  and the fact that my fat arse is nesting snuggly inside a pair of ‘bought too small for me’ skinny jeans. GREATNESS!!!

Anyway, I’m about to start my day, and i’ve been inundated with emails telling me i’m a ‘genius’ and ones telling me i’m a piece of ‘shit.’ Okay, so i’m gonna say this once, and once only…if you DO NOT wish for me to write about you in my blog (and you should as if i’m writing about you i find you a lot more interesting than i find my ‘dear’ self,) then please refrain from TELLING ME things, or DOING THINGS around me, whilst KNOWING i write a delightful crap daily blog! If another person says, ‘…this is not for blog publication,’ i will quite possible explode. However, if this happens i assure you there really  isnothing to worry about, as i had a dream once that if i actually did have the pleasure of exploding…an array of multi coloured confetti, glitter and condoms would mist the immediate air. (Kind of like a big gay wedding, but without the Oral AIDS.)

1 thought on “Skinny jeans bitches

  1. well done for fitting in to them strides chrissie and u are right i will never undertand the joys coz i wiopuld of just taken em back and got a bigger pair. i hope uare having a good wekend chrissie u been out on the piss treacle?

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