Well i’ve just watched ‘X-factor,’ my bums much better, and to pass dreary old time, i decided to thumb through the newspaper, to see what goodies i could find…and yeah, not much. No goodies for me, apart from the fact that 41 jolly old Brits were RAPED in Greece this year. ( I need to go!!!) Yeah, apparently it’s mediterranean holiday isles are the MOST dangerous place for English women. ( I don’t know whether i’m counted in that, as i’ve got a lot of oriental in me??) Anyhow, this exotic hot spot (ooh-laaa) has the worst growing figure EVER this summer (yeah, mines a little bagged out too,) and get this….the Greek Police (sounds like a Greek version of the Chippendales, but i do actually mean real cops) say:
‘ At this rate, we’ll break ALL previous records by the end if the holiday season. It’s an unenviable record of having the largest number of British rape victims….’
Well there’s no need to boast, is there!! They make it sound like it’s the best thing EVER and like you can totally win a rack of lamb, a car and a dishwasher afterwards!!! It’s craziness!! However, then do finish off by politely explaining that (wait for it) ‘….. the men responsible were mostly drunks!!’ (erm…well that makes it okay then!) Then they follow up with,‘….and British male drunks at that…followed by migrant workers from Eastern Europe….!!‘ But not at all the grubby greek men!!! AS IF!! Drunk british men don’t go all the way to Greece to rape women, why would they…they can do it fine enough over here??? It was your ‘invented the toga for easy access’ Greek penis’s that rogered our classy british ‘Aphrodites’ without consent!!!
I don’t know what they’re intending to do about all this, yet i do know that they have placed little warnings on beer mats??? What are they thinking?? What could they possible put on a beer mat, of all places, as a warning, ‘ Don’t Drink This, You Will Probably Get Raped.’ Nice touch Foreign Office. Last time i’ll accidently thumb through a newspaper. I expected, ‘Oh Jordans getting her boobs done again,’ not ’41 new rapings’!!! I think i’m moving more towards the notion ‘ignornace is bliss.’