Fuck luggage on wheels

Sitting in Starbucks (how original)…the one near Kings Cross station, with a tall latte and an oak smoked salmon & rocket sarnie. It’s still wins ‘Wunnas Fave Sandwich’ award, as Starbucks surprisingly always manages to have delicious salmon, that does not EVER taste like old grannies rubbery tongues.

I’m having to wait 4 hours until i’m able to board my train back to Doncaster. (Good times.) I bought one of those fucking stupid ‘off peak business saver’ tickets, where one can only travel at a very ‘certain off peaky’ time, and never when one…’I’ve finished my castings early, now let me go the fuck home because it’s raining’ wants to. I’ve been in London ALL day, and although i do occasionally like it (mainly because i’m working) today i particularly hate it, due to it being filled  with moody London busy bodies, armed with luggage, laptops, shopping bags, and domestic pets…all racing as fast as there ‘hush puppies’ will let them, to jump into taxis, offices, and coffee shops. I mean, race to bloody brothels, race to cash your millions, race away from the police, or race in…..races, but COME ON ‘Old Smokers!!!’ Racing to coffee shops & grey offices??? With luggage??? (cough *no life* cough)

I swear, if another human bashes into me, then trips me up with their bloody ‘luggage on wheels,’ and then scowls at me with a face like a slapped arse..i will be forced to go all ‘thug style gangsta’ on their, ‘obviously can’t see a hot oriental girl in golden heels, infront of them,’ arse!!! Don’t fucking wheel luggage into Me you blind swines, then glare at Me like i just ate your first born child… SAY ‘SORRY!!’ Only homeless people accessorize with ‘luggage on wheels’ anyway. London always seems to suck hairy balls when it rains. (Now that i’ve said that, the sun has decided to come out, just to sneer at me and probably call me a slag.) God, i wish i was superstar famous!! At least then, there’d be things like signing autographs, waving at the masses from my ‘better than you’ thrown, and contemplating a future drug addiction to make 4 long hours zoom by. (Everyone’s looking at me weirdly, because i’m talking the words OUT LOUD, whilst i’m writing them. Gosh, it really is sunny now and I really am a moany shit today. Ah dee-dums!

4 thoughts on “Fuck luggage on wheels

  1. there fucking gragels down there babe
    jumped up rude mugs who need to get slapped every know and then to remind em of there role. i apoligise for my area of the country being ignorant mugs. i realised it when i go abroad what must foragners think when they arrive in england they ask for anything what i dont speak foregn mush and peolle walking of. i hope your castings went well chrissie

  2. if u are there again and it hapens just go see u you cunt ill cut your jacobs of if u bump in to me u mug that will shit em up chrissie

  3. jacobs crackers knackers see u need me to look afteru next time u are in london like a minder like all the stars have but yours well be a stella drinking lacoste tracksuit wearing chav who speaks dead proper like

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