OOh Arr Daily Star

I’m being rushed right now, as i write this, so my sincerest apologises if it’s shite. But as i told you before TOMORROW i am in the DAILY STAR, as a semi finalist in FOOTBALLS FOXIEST FAN, i’m expecting you to pop off to the shop, peek at my Vote number, and bizarrely start texting for me to win repeatedly, until…i do?? Anyway thats out of the way, and that’s TOMORROW (as some young handsomes keep telling me they already have voted, yet…erm… it’s NOT FUCKING OUT YET?) I hate it when boys just fob me off with a ‘yeah, yeah, i have already, now shut up, and talk dirty! This coffee i’m drinking is horrible. There’s definitley no kung fu kick to it.

Life is grand, and i can’t believe how lucky i am being. Unfortunately, i’m having a lot of young men, pretending to be glamour photogs, and claiming they want to shoot me. Which seems to be code for ‘i just want to see you naked on my mucky mauve sofa, so one day i can sell it for millions, and one night i can toshi off to it, and pretend you are my girlfriend,’ which is fine. Plus, lots of fake photographers who have been good at tricking me…it’s not that hard, and when i’ve stated ‘Yeah sure..when?’ They get scared and do a runner. Then there’s others who just ask for straight up sex. It’s a funny old world isn’t it! Oh and a bunch of guys, who claim it’s too much money, and don’t want to pay, so can i come pose for free?? I hear ‘gang bang.’ All of these photogs are amateurs, and let me tell you…i love a good amateur with the wits of a future Star, yet YOU GUYS are making a bad bad name for all the other amateur togs!! Not fair boys!!

Just to get the record straight, i really am NOT a prostitute, i just pose like one in pictures for magazines. There we go, it’s all dandy now! And a lot of work goes into posing like a prossie for those pictures goddamit! lol….

1 thought on “OOh Arr Daily Star

  1. you dont look like a brass in your pics chrissie if u were u would earn bundles as people would pay bare dough for u . good luck tommorow i will get a copy and vote for u whatever team u are supporting apart from sunderland or middeslborogh if u support the toon i will vote every minute till it closes . good luck chrissie have a blinding weekend babe take care treacle tada scratch

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