I am a genius

It’s a HEATWAVE lady and gents, and i am LOVING LOVING IT…yet getting a bit annoyed with it, but still LOVING it, right now!! Woo-hoo!! the boys around Doncaster are wearing nothing but shorts, the girls are wearing bikinis, and even grannies are showing their tan lines!! I celebrated by buying 6 of the exact same tube tops, with glittery glitz on, stating that i was ‘Royal’ in every colour they had, apart from blue…I’m just not a ‘blue’ kind of girl. It reminds me of bruises and smurfs. I also, decided to take time out to contemplate how horrific it would be, to come back, (in your next life, ) as a cow! I studied them a lot today, whilst being a passenger in a very hot car, and yeah life is pretty sucky for them. They just kind of cow around, eating a shitty chunk of grass, that some other cows probably peed on, and well honestly that’s pretty much it…but for THE REST of THEIR ENTIRE life!! (Sad, but true!! )Well they do also have the pleasure of being slaughtered in the end?? But other than that, it’s just cowing around, chewing on grass, and OH SHIT i FORGOT…they totally get fiddled with when they’re being juiced for milk!!! Being a cow ROCKS!! I wish you could see the world through my eyes. If everyone could, recreational drugs, need not exist!! I am the cure!! Give Amy Winehouse my vision, and she would be saved. You know when you put something in such a safe, safe place…so safe that you can’t seem to find it?? Well for some it’s a winning lottery ticket.( and shit that’s a major McBummer,) ..for me…it’s the instructions to how my brain works. You say, ‘What’s wrong with her???’ I say, ‘What’s wrong with COWS man???’ lol…It’s the heat, it’s getting to me!!

I’m going now, because i’m sweating like a mucky chimpanzee. The nurses left me alone to supervise my father today, who has moved up the hospital stakes, and is NOW allowed to sit in a wheel chair, and be rolled around outside the ward!! I despise wheel chairs. They don’t make people well…they aid their laziness!! (Walk bitch, walk!!) The nurse liked my bag…it was pink, and the fact that i was from LA (Oooookay)…so she left her  complete trust in me!! Firtsly NEVER trust anyone that’s spent longer than an upside down shag in LA!!( Ha ha! YOU FOOLS!!) So, I rolled him, dressed as a whore, all over the joint. Up, down, in the parking lot, into a car. He got a little tired and then accidently passed out!!  I quickly rolled him back up to ward 2, and pretended like some other nurse (who i was sure was on the bottle) had done it. GENIUS!! I could save the world after all!! I think i’ll just stick to getting my boobs out!! There’s far less wheeling of men on stroke units.

1 thought on “I am a genius

  1. you know us english chrissie never happy with the weather when it aint hot the weathers shit aint hot when its hot it is two fucking hot. u can see us on holiday coming along going it fucking double hot out here aint it then if it cools down a bit or rains oh how shit is it. i bet u looked choong in all your tops chrissie. i hope your dad gets better soon and can go home take care chrissie tada scratch

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