Get rid of the evidence

The best thing about ‘Big Brother’ today was that ‘Jackass the movie’ followed it!! I’m a huge fan of such ‘donkey duh duh,’ behaviour, and i use to totally fancy Johnny Knoxville, until i found out his real name was ‘Phil.’ It kinda took the ‘ooh-aah,’ out of it, for me. Nothing’s funny about a dude name ‘Phil’ who electrically shocks his goolies. What am i talking about?? It’s HILARIOUS!!

Anyway, my hands are numb, due to standing out in the cold, which makes it hard to type. The moon is almost full, and looks so perfect, that a man..with a very large amount if time on his hands,’ could’ve cut out the most delicious circle of cheese, and hung it up in the sky, to watch over the masses, like my mum and I, who decided to burn a T-shirt on the lawn!! I am aware this sounds sooo, ‘get rid of the evidence,’ but i assure you, it was ALL her! No really, i just got in from watching flames burn a blue t-shirt up…it’s a burmese thing. My dad, (whos’ much better now,) was wearing it when he decided to ‘Stroke’ so we decided to set it on fire, to burn away the badness!! I loved it, but it took bloody ages!! As much as i like a good bonfire, your eyes really do start to sting after about 23 mins of staring. Plus, it really did make me feel like we were disposing of criminal evidence!! It’s not fun and again…takes forever!! There’s got to be a quicker way. I don’t know how you dirty crims do it?? But yep, Daddy’s on the mend, i’d say 60% better, unfortunately he couldn’t sleep last night due to the patient in the next bed, waking up in the middle of the night to PEE on everyone elses bed. It was hilarious, the nurse said to me this afternoon, ‘I’m sorry we had to move your father to a different section, because someone peed on him.’ Delicious!! It’s amazing how quickly he recovered after that incident. He must really want out of there!! Plus, he claims he hates hospitals because the beds aren’t King sized enough, to roll around in them naked. (oooooooooookay??)

Shit, my hands are still numb!! And i smell like Guy fawks! I can’t sleep smelling like a chinese firecracker!! I saw a sign a at a grocery store today, on the ‘notice board’ section, where folks try and sell their used goods. I HATE used goods. But there was a random that stated, ‘ Tortoise…LOST! How can you bloody lose a tortoise??? I mean, it can’t of really gone that far now can it?? It takes it 10 years to take one step forward. ( I did ride a giant african one once though!!) You can’t put signs up, stating you’ve LOST something (unless it’s your virginity) when you have failed to properly look for it??? ( i need to find mine.) They’ll now be random village folk, hunting around for some LOST, but not lost, as it’s probably still in your garden, you blind ass…tortoise, and for no apparent reason??? If i find it…i’m keeping it you fuckers!!

1 thought on “Get rid of the evidence

  1. im pleased your old man is getting better chrissie i can undertand why he wants ot og home hospitals aint that nice are they. im pleased it sounds like u and your old girl had fun burning a tee shirt fire is good to watch u should of tosted some marshmellows to keep warm and to get down your gregory. have a lovely sunday chrissie take care treacle tada scratch

Leave a Comment