Whilst i wait to pee

Have you ever tried to beat up an Orthopedic bed? Well don’t…as it will kick your ass!! Oh my god! It gave me the ‘aches n pains’ (the proper bad ones,) so i decided to early morning, stand in my knickers and ferociously beat it, like an angry jungle woman. (For any boys that are potential future husbands…i’m really quite classy…honest!) Basically, i’m an idiot! That thing is so strong, that it kind of just grew 80 feet tall, filled the whole room, spouted arms, legs, and an angry face, then after a moment of silence, thunder clapped and it totally decided to, BEAT the LIVING B’JEEZE out of me. Not fun! My back kills.

So i’ve just woken up. I’m waiting for the bathroom, (y’know, in Burma, i once needed to poo in a zoo, so the guy made me pay like £2, guided me to a dodgey back end muddy space, where there seemed to be a massive shower cubicle?? He dragged the curtain open, pointed at a hole, (the size of a golf ball,) centered in this massive shower cubicle, and said ‘Chi,’ which is burmese code for ‘Crap there.’ This would’ve been okay, except there was like 14 other people trying to ‘chi’ in the hole at the same time,) so yeah…i don’t mind waiting for the bathroom anymore. I can’t remember what i was gonna say now??? It’s weird, my ‘Latin Lover’ has a friend named ‘Gemini’ yet he’s an Aquarius? Don’t you think that’s a bit silly?? It’s like naming your cat ‘Dog.’ Gemini’s ace though, as inbetween his 2 jobs, (i think one of them is, he works at the ‘E’ channel,) he lurks in Rustic bars with the Hollywood riff raff, gets B’drunky, and ends up singing  ‘Amy Winehouse’ out loud in parking lots, (well no, i was singing, he was merely doing the stomp, claps…lets not give him too much credit,) after breaking everyones shoes, and whipping people with their own belts. You Fools!! How ya gonna let someone WHIP you with your OWN  bloody belt????? I was dancing around, argueing with people, getting into, and having my picture taken in  magical time machines parked outside pubs! I think that was a different occasion though??

Who cares??? The bathrooms free now… Have a nice day!

3 thoughts on “Whilst i wait to pee

  1. you have proper mad pissups in hollywood if u go round hitting people with belts oh wait we used ot do that in romford as a bel;t is quite a handy weapon if u got a big gucci buckle u rap the belt round your hand than crack round there cannister. it sounded like a well weaird bradding in the burmese zoo. u should get a chiv next time u want to fight your orthapedic bed it will work well better babe have a great week treacle and enjoy your sunday chrisise i hope u have a great roast babe take care treacle tada scratch

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