Stop the stares

I keep having sex dreams of Russell Brand. Dunno why? I don’t really fancy him. They just keep happenning. Infact they’re not really sex dreams… they’re ‘he’s my husband and we’re madly in love’ dreams. Some people dream of the Virgin Mary, my dreams are littered with Russell Brand. It’s weird because he seems to have had sex with every girl in the world EXCEPT me?? How did he manage that?? Infact how did I manage that!! I definitely wouldn’t mind a ‘spoil of sheets’ with him. Again, not sure why?? My dreams keep telling me too!! How Voodoo!

I’m currently drinking wine, because i’m sick of people staring at me, and mainly because ‘Latin Lover’ has decided that I should stop drinking?? He’s put a holt to his drinking arm, so now he’s all ‘pushy born again christian,’ about the whole thing, and believes that i should refrain from tippling before i go to bed. I believe, I quite rudely… LAUGHED in his FACE..(that is a slight lie, as it was kinda down the phone,) but don’t you just hate it when someone gives something up, like drinking or swearing and they order everyone else around them, to do the same. Just because you’re life sucks, don’t make everyone elses miserable!! Some of us need our night cap!! I’m a hard working girl! (fyi/this wine is going straight to my head!!)

It feels good to be back in Yorkshire. I’m definitely a Northern girl. There’s something about London that makes my face prune up. Everyones angry over there, and busy, busy, busy. It’s a battle, a race, and i hardly ever see anyone smile over there. But i did see two shirtless guys dressed as builders, ferociously make out over a trash can, on the street in soho, on saturday. So maybe it aint that bad after all? I just don’t like the stares. On the tube, it was terrible. Everyone was bored, so they thought they would stare at me, (disapprovingly) It was like i had just walked on the train butt naked, and wiped my vagina on an old mans face or something?? I don’t get it? But if i did, it wouldn’t be much fun, would it??

3 thoughts on “Stop the stares

  1. people in london can be stroppy cuntz cant they chrissie that is coz all the real londoners have moved out and all u got there know is suits. the tube is fucking shit it stinks and s full of mugs.dont give up booze booze is the bollox if there wernt alcohol how boring would life be. im pleased u are a proud northerner but be honest it aint vetter than down souf. the people are friendlier yes i givw u that it is more beutifal i give u that but i dont know it just seems depressing to me when u drive up the a1. enjoy your wine treacle and have a great week back home up norf. how did the playboy thing go chrissie i bet u knocked em bandi didnt u babe as u were a rocket before i bet u are an even bigger one know with your new weapons of mass destruction

  2. Hiya Scratch!! I read your comments everday and your grammatical construction of a sentence still brings a giant smile to my face!! I’m just a northern girl…who works a lot down south. Londons ACE, yet in the north i don’t get elbowed in the boob off a train. haha

  3. cheers chrissie. i make u right people on tubes and that are rude ignorant cuntz pardon me french i caught asma delivering something for me old man after getting on them germfilled carages. i like northern people u are honest like we are from essex. the rest of down souf and up norf look down on us but we dont care we are flashy chavs and proud of it lol take care chrissie tada scratch

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