I love being me, as proclaiming to be the ‘Queen of Greatness’ means you can do whatever your heart desires and with a cheeky wink n smile, get away with it all…and sometimes even get applauded for it!! My life is wonderful, apart from the fact that i’m currenlty feeling terribly bloated due to an ‘almost’ period. Luckily i’m bloated in all the right places, however when you’re only 5ft 4, you kinda look half, ‘Ompa Lumpa.’ Shit, i’ve got some thighs on me right now. Apparently it’s because i’m a Sagittarius, i however believe it’s because i’m a fat bitch. I do feel sexy though. Purrr…..! Having a bit of junk, makes me horny, which is obviously a treat!
I’ve done some crazy things in my life, and today it seemed my life decided to pass infront of me, in flashbacks. I can’t even think or absorb the random ongoings of my life. I’ve sort of blinked and found myself on stage in a Ballet dress. Blinked, then found myself wasted on top of a building, making out with a hot gay guy, drinking mango margaritas. I’ve blinked, and found myself ontop of an elephant, or waking up next to a movie star. I once blinked and found myself handcuff chained to a stream of prostitutes, a shop lifter and an armed robber. I’ve blinked and had an award shoved in my hand, (one of my better blinks,) and blinked and found myself in a wedding dress at the Hotel Bel Air. I’ve turned to the left and found myself crying so hard, in a Hollywood gutter because a boy didn’t love me. I’ve looked right and found a random boys name inked on my arm. I’ve breathed deeply, and noticed i was dressed as a fuck me fairy. I’ve forgotten to breathe, and saw myself mentoring orphans. I’ve been cut in half by a magician, i’ve thrown garden furniture over balconies, i’ve shaken hands with a Prince, then i woke up and realised it was NOT AT ALL a dream!!! I LOVE MY LIFE!!!! I need to go have a ‘fiddle in the middle’ in celebration!!