Toilet rumble

Okay so did i really just get bullied by 14 year old girls??? OMG!! So i was at ‘Xscape’, in Pontefract a far cry away from my wonderful Hollywood life, watching a movie of my brothers choice…as he graces his 19th birthday. It’s pouring outside, and inside there’s a group of about 8, fourteen year old girls, dressed in cheap neon bras, and denim booty shorts, and big tube socks. I( know you boys might be getting a bit excited, but they were ‘maybe brought up by druggie parents’ hot, and not ‘Playboy’ hot.) Infact ‘hot’ is kinda the wrong word…as the term ‘sweaty’ who be more suited.

Anyway, i walk in and these half naked 14 year olds, are staring me down. I had no idea why…so i sniggered…out loud. They kept, looking at me like they are little toughies, and putting their sunglasses on. So i give them the old ‘eyeball’ which is always bad, as i’m shit at ‘eyeballing’ people, it always gets confused with ‘bedroom eyes.’ I look like a right plonker! Long story short, they HATED me, my boobs, the ground i walked on and had that good old yorkshire beer belly thing going on. (note: bras, and tube tops, should not be worn as outer wear if you are a girl with a bloody beer belly.) Long story short…and much much later, i’m in the toilets and they’re deciding to openly make fun of me to my face!!! OMG!! Their approach was to copy my accent, (i sound somewhat american, i guess,) and whilst doing so (quite badly) do impressions of me on the toilet!! OMG!! hahahahaha! Can you believe it?? They added a few ‘sluts’ and a few ‘other words’ of hate…and the whole time i’m just ignoring them, because i’m mid- pee. So i come out, and i think they thought, i would be in tears?? Luckily for me, i’m highly confrontational!! So we all have a nice little chat. I tell them what i thought of them, i scare them a little , i made extreme fun of them…they went deadly silent, and one burst into tears, because i so happen to say the phrase,’ ugly pop bellied pig.’ They all start screaming, a couple more cry, i leave the public toilets, to go sup coffee with my dear mother. One crazy ‘pop bellied wild one’ runs out the loos, straight towards me…ready to maybe slap me with her wibble wobble…my mother pauses, turns gives her the ‘look’ (if you are a Wunna sibling…you know the ‘look’,) she completely stops screaming, and runs off??? GOD!!!

So i’m home now, my boobies still in tack from my toilet showdown…hahaha! I still can’t believe it! I’m getting ready for dinner, and i leave in about an hour, so obviously i should be doing more ‘getting ready’ than writing this blog!!

2 thoughts on “Toilet rumble

  1. know they sound like a bunch of lil chavvies girls u shaw they wernt from the heathway not yorkshire. i know u do get get girls and geezers who dont dress to cover up there beer bellies or tree trunk legs. im pleased u told em how it is chriise. they were just jealous lil slags who thought they coul;d intimerdate u, and u thought i sounded chavvie just coz i like a lacoste tracksuit a bit of tom and speak in slang the chek of it lol. have a gun sunday chrissie havea good roast babe. im having fried chicken and cotching on me coutch festering with a face like a slapped arse not a pretty sight i aint boozing again lol

  2. Wpw. what fools they are, I have seen your tough, dominatrix side and it is scary. I remember when you grabbed your monkey webslave by the neck and threatened to push his head against the restaurant booth. Wow, so hot.

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