Great weekend of shopping, fun and fiddling! I didn’t go out on a massive bender or anything, however i did decide along with the ‘Great Wunna before Me,’ that it’s time for me to stop waiting at home, in my dodgey recovery bra, (i’m not permitted to wear a normal bra yet,) and instead, get fitted into a ‘lot less dodgey’ recovery bra, squeeze the girls into a black n white leopard print top (hahaha) and go out to dinner to ‘Test & Drive’, my Fakies. (This was after having to show my grandmother my new ‘jubblies’ by demand…she LOVES them. I think she wants a pair!!) Oh and during the ‘showing of the jubblies’ i did managed to get mugged by barefooted, dirty faced, 4 year olds, in a street gang. They took my rhinestone watch. I let them, (they’re 4 with no homes) I also gave them wet wipes, blankets and told them to ‘find their mothers’!! JESUS!! (haha)
Anyway, shit i keep getting distracted. I end up at a posh restuarant with my family, ‘Test driving’ the boobies, that (and for the very first time in history) were being presented, (semi appropriately) for the masses. I looked ‘Whoa Nelly’ HOT, yet it was deliberate to aid my ‘Oooh Laaa’!! Even my father blushed a little…hahahaha! Anyway, Great night!! All i’m gonna say is, when you have MASSIVE FAKE KNOCKERS, you get MORE THINGS FOR FREE. YAY!! As soon as i walked through the doors, it was almost as if every male head, stopped in time, and slowly turned to view the ‘Jubblies.’ And i was working it like the dirtiest, richest, hot bitch in town. People just ran around me the whole time, couldn’t do enough for me, (WHICH I ADORE)gave me the best table in the house, with free booze, constant random conversation (which i think is RUDE when you’re trying to have dinner with ya family,) lots of people wanting to shake my hand, and YES as pre-warned….MORE BOYS HAD CONVERSATIONS WITH MY CHEST THAN WITH MY FACE. Everytime, i caught them talking to my chest, they’d look back up at my face as quickly as possible!!! Bad! Bad! Bad! But HILARIOUS….as i needed the confidence boost, right?? (Any excuse, to massage the Ego, or get boys to look at my tits…hahaha) We also had the Owners son come out to our table during dessert, to talk to us for 40 mins!!! (snooze fest) He wasn’t really hot, hot, but i think that’s because ALL he did was tell my parents how much money he had, how many business’s he ran, where his property lies, where he vacations, and that he’s looking for LOVE. What a fucking surprise!!! My mum claimed he could’ve said what he wanted to say in 3 minutes, and one sentence if he was smart enough….’ Can i please put my cold face, in your daughters warm breasts for 2 minutes?’ The answer due to the gallons of red wine i had polished off would have defo been a ‘YES,’ or maybe a ‘YEEHAA cowboy???’ Then we spent the rest of the night talking about others, and watching my baby brother puke after his Sambuca shot!!
Thats all it took for me to ADORE my boobs. I’m longer shy! No longer insecure. i feel they’re sooooooooo BOOYAH. They are completely working with me, and now when i look at my naked self, the massaging gets McDirty!!! (wink.) Insecure on Friday, but DIRTY come Sunday!! Life is GOOD boys!! If you have girlfriends who need a little pick me up, BUY THEM BOOBS!