Where is my BIG

Woke up this morning to a conversation between the GREAT ‘Chrissie Wunna’ and a cell phone friend, i’ll call her ‘Yeehaa.’ After dreams of sex and romance, i stated that ‘i wished i had my own Mr.Big, who would walk me into a marvellous mansion, with a price tag a million $$$$$$$$ over what we expected to pay. See my sad face, and just decide to buy me it anyway, to make me smile.’ Aww..bliss!! Sooo romantic. Then ‘Yeehaa’ decided to shatter all my illusions of grandeur by reminding me that, i have apparently ‘been in that situation almost 40 fucking times, and i HATED it because the man was old and ugly, and i couldn’t imagine having sex with an ugly man, in my beautiful marvellous mansion.’ I remembered!! Hahaha!! God, I’m GREAT!! She also stated that i’m a ‘control freak, and hate being bossed around or owned by anyone, let alone MEN.’ I remembered!! (Note to the boys, i do actually enjoy a man, who can VOICE his opinion, and argue it out with me, as long as it’s followed by great sex, a lot of passion, and then just going with what i said.’) It’s always funner that way…well not for you…but this is chrissiewunna.com, so what i say GOES!!!(hahahaha)

I’ve just watched 15 mins of Ashley Tisdale trying to get McChicken nuggets, don’t know why??? Yet at the same time Facebook was telling me that i am apparently the ‘Kryptonite to every mans chastity belt.’ Men have chastity belts?? Yeah, i didn’t think so!! It’s too easy. I am also (apparently) ‘Promiscuous in the best possible way.’ Which i guess means i can balance SLUT, with ANGEL, with great ease, and i know how to ‘get it on’ when the time is right. Get what on??? OH Jesus, this is too much for my pure virgin ears to handle!! Save me Lord!! SAAAAAAAAAAAAAAVE me!!

I’m still just waking up, and i’m taking time off for a little while, as my mind has taken a detour to a dark place….evil evil wink, so there will be no working for me, until i am mended. I’ve been working really odd hours, i call them the ‘prostitute hours,’ and really unless you’re a prostitute, and i don’t advise it as a career move, it’s not really the funnest hours ever. I need to go make coffee.

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