Depressing

Going to bed… i feel really down. Don’t know why really? Just ‘low, case of da blues’ type shit…i think?? My hormones are all over the place, and i just want my period to be over. My agent needed me to work tomorrow, but now i can’t as i have something else booked…UGH! She also needs to see pictures of my new boobs, (as ofcourse it’s essential,) and since i don’t have any, i have to ‘snap shot’ them tomorrow, and  get them to her ASAP. I’m ready to work now, and i’m tired of this waiting for my boobs to bloody heal, when they’re all ready healed!!! God!! They can’t get any better than what they are right now!! It’s time for the ‘money makers’ to start being ‘working’ boobs. I’m gonna take my own ‘boobie’ snap shots tomorrow. 

 I feel sad, and like i don’t have anyone to flirt with, or feel with, or have fun with, or anyone who wants to impress me, or be my ‘best friend you have sex with.’ I’m a bit annoyed with my ‘Latin Lover’ relationship right now, as we’re too far apart and when we do talk (and we do everyday) we really don’t have anything to say to each other, or he’s really distracted. It’s just ‘blah’ and getting really boring. I want to be excited again, feel in love and Sunday night was sooo exciting (even though there was no love,) that it made tonight quite dull. (my day was good though…really good infact.) I want to have as much fun as possible and never grow up. God, i need to snap out of this mood. It’s depressing and gives me wrinkles. I have so much i want to do, and …well i’m just gonna shut up, cos i’m moody and when i’m moody i say things i don’t mean.

Stop leftover drunking me

Just woke up and even though i feel a little ‘bark like a dog’ rough, after too much ‘straight to my head’ red wine, and cocktails, i think i’m quite chipper!! Yesiree!! I feel GREAT!!! Infact no i feel MARVELLOUS!!! Sometimes you’ve just got to let loose in order to feel ALIVE. It’s the biggest thing to me. As we all know i am rather frustrated due to not being able to work until my boobies are exactly right…so whilst i have a whole load of jobs waiting for me to tamper with….(and i hate keeping anyone waiting…especially Myself,) i’m having to calm down, yet let loose, and drink cocktails….until i can work!! I’m almost there now! I can’t believe i wrote that blog on cocktail umbrellas last night (say no to shots)…i do love them though…cocktail umbrellas, and NOT shots! I HATE shots as i think they’re pointless and just something boys buy girls to get them wasted faster, so they have a better shot at the ‘bedroom shuffle.’ Hahah…i think i’ve even bought boys shots, for the exact same reason. I have all guy friends in LA…they taught me wrong, but it is better than a ‘roofie.’ I love cocktail umbrellas because they’re always attached to something yummy…and make you believe you’re on holiday. That’s why my fave drink is a Malibu Pineapple. I take my first sip and i think i have a carribean carnivale circling me. (Loser) I rarely ever do, just a bunch of leftover drunks. I love leftover drunks, i met one called ‘Cowpie’ once. He had one tooth, and a cowboy hat. I think he was about 65 and use to be a Drag Queen…he talked way to close to my face. ‘Hoooooooooooollllywoooooooood!!’

So i’m going insane because i can’t work. I hate it! I think i’m a workaholic now. I can’t live without my job, because it’s so FUN. UGH!!!  I need to be doing something creative. It’s like being the most passionate person, yet being unable to set the passion free. (haha, sooooo drama queen.) My audience awaits….i’m eager to get started. I film something thursday…i need to go fake tan. Kisses…

Cocktails

It’s late and i’m currently wearing a mound of cocktail umbrellas, in my hair. You know you’ve had a good night when you have a variety of cocktail umbrellas nested into your extentions!! All i remember is boobs, booze, real life fireworks, and indian men.

I need to get some sleep…

Toilet rumble

Okay so did i really just get bullied by 14 year old girls??? OMG!! So i was at ‘Xscape’, in Pontefract a far cry away from my wonderful Hollywood life, watching a movie of my brothers choice…as he graces his 19th birthday. It’s pouring outside, and inside there’s a group of about 8, fourteen year old girls, dressed in cheap neon bras, and denim booty shorts, and big tube socks. I( know you boys might be getting a bit excited, but they were ‘maybe brought up by druggie parents’ hot, and not ‘Playboy’ hot.) Infact ‘hot’ is kinda the wrong word…as the term ‘sweaty’ who be more suited.

Anyway, i walk in and these half naked 14 year olds, are staring me down. I had no idea why…so i sniggered…out loud. They kept, looking at me like they are little toughies, and putting their sunglasses on. So i give them the old ‘eyeball’ which is always bad, as i’m shit at ‘eyeballing’ people, it always gets confused with ‘bedroom eyes.’ I look like a right plonker! Long story short, they HATED me, my boobs, the ground i walked on and had that good old yorkshire beer belly thing going on. (note: bras, and tube tops, should not be worn as outer wear if you are a girl with a bloody beer belly.) Long story short…and much much later, i’m in the toilets and they’re deciding to openly make fun of me to my face!!! OMG!! Their approach was to copy my accent, (i sound somewhat american, i guess,) and whilst doing so (quite badly) do impressions of me on the toilet!! OMG!! hahahahaha! Can you believe it?? They added a few ‘sluts’ and a few ‘other words’ of hate…and the whole time i’m just ignoring them, because i’m mid- pee. So i come out, and i think they thought, i would be in tears?? Luckily for me, i’m highly confrontational!! So we all have a nice little chat. I tell them what i thought of them, i scare them a little , i made extreme fun of them…they went deadly silent, and one burst into tears, because i so happen to say the phrase,’ ugly pop bellied pig.’ They all start screaming, a couple more cry, i leave the public toilets, to go sup coffee with my dear mother. One crazy ‘pop bellied wild one’ runs out the loos, straight towards me…ready to maybe slap me with her wibble wobble…my mother pauses, turns gives her the ‘look’ (if you are a Wunna sibling…you know the ‘look’,) she completely stops screaming, and runs off??? GOD!!!

So i’m home now, my boobies still in tack from my toilet showdown…hahaha! I still can’t believe it! I’m getting ready for dinner, and i leave in about an hour, so obviously i should be doing more ‘getting ready’ than writing this blog!!

Fancy a game if Hooker

Already today i have seen a grown man get cradled by his mother, whilst being rocked to ‘Rock-a-bye baby.’ It’s weird how men really truely stay babies. I mean, ‘Latin Lover’ he loves it when i treat him like a 2 year old…really he does. It’s fun, and gives a whole new meaning to the phrase ‘naughty step.’ I once grabbed his Chef apron, and miraculously managed to turn it into, an ass out, tits out, naughty nurse outfit.’ (My mother taught me well…purrr.) I also, turned a paper towel, into a nurses hat….i kinda looked stupid. Then i treated him like he was 2 and nursed him back to erm…health? I’m making myself sound like a child molester. I promise you i’m not, i always (apart from one time) wait until they’re at least old enough to lie about their age!! And boy do they lie!! You would actually think that the rest of that nursey story would be HOT right? Nope! I didn’t even get laid.. he fell asleep. My outfit was wasted!! I took it off feeling very unloved, ( i think i put it on a bit tight too. It was fucking difficult getting it off. I looked like a chimpanzee trying to sexily ease it off.) Then when he woke up, he bonked me. He must not like nurses or something?? I think he more likes to play the very original  ‘Pretend you’re a Hooker.’ It’s funny how when you’re a kid you play Post Office, Shops, and Mummies & daddies…yet when you get older, it becomes you’re ‘real life’ so it’s not at all fun anymore. Then you’re forced to make up bedroom games like ‘prostitutes, ‘or  ‘drunk sex.’ It’s fun. It’s healthy, it’s the word of God?

God i have GREAT boobs!!

Zer Bounce

Completely knackerd, about to go to bed, and basically managed to control the PMS quite well…i’d say. I think it’s because i let the boobs out to play??? Well not ‘out’ like that, as we all know that costs good money….hahaha!! Someone did ask their friend, outside a pub in Doncaster ‘how much’ he thought i’d ‘be for the night?’ I say too much for you. Apart from that arsehole, everyone and i do mean every single living being who walked past me, spent most of the day looking at, my rather well presented fake boobies, milk jugs, jubblies, or whatever else…????  I’m trying to deliberately expose them in inappropriate places due to boredom, stupidy and because i’m a hussy!! I’m doing it so i can get use to men staring at them. It helps me with my work. Helps me get use to loving them, owning them and working them. EVERYBODY joined in the staring! This obviously makes and attention whore like me feel VERY good. It’s amazing how my PMS disappeared!! ??!Woo-hoo!! Then i got tired of it, as it’s only fun being looked at when you’re wanting to be looked at, right?? After 4 hours, i was done with the ‘eye-ing up,’ yet kept missing my mouth and dropping grapes down my new fake clevage…..it makes people not only stare, but also give you ‘rape faces.’

Anyway, i’m off to bed, as i can’t possibly keep my eyes open any longer. I want ‘Jen’ out of ‘Big Brother’ as she’s a whiney ‘not really as hot as she thinks’ cry baby, and i’m learning how to totter across a busy streets without holding onto my boobies, like a spastic. I’m not use to the ‘bounce?’ You run two steps forward they keep running!! It’s bizarro?? God, i can’t wait to get back to work!!

Get out of my bed

Feeling a bit pissy today. I haven’t had enough sleep, i’ve managed to get my period, and i’ve had to deal with beings in my bed trying to ‘out know’ me. My bed is not a place for people to come and be all ‘knowey,’ it’s a place of pleasure, goddamit.  If i KNOW something, i 100% KNOW it. If i don’t KNOW something, i will not bark on about the ‘something’ like i KNOW what i’m talking about. Shit, that was a mouthful, and definitely not my favourite kind. (Sausage sandwich, sausage sandwich.) So much drama way too early, and i’m having to get into a more positive gear. Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!! I feel like i need to smash a garden knome, or something….UGH!! GOD!! Note: Chrissie Wunna hates ‘think they know it alls,’ -but only when they don’t know it all, and start talking to ME!! And especially at some ungodly early morning bloody hour!!!! Flipping’ heckers!! This is NOt the way to start a decent morning, listenning to half wits, with no idea what ‘half a bloody brain’ is!! I have such a short fuse today. PMS rocks!! Every little thing anyone does, like’ BE A FUCKING DRAMA QUEEN FOR NO REASON OTHER THAN ATTENTION,’ is getting me all steamed up. I know i can be a drama queen at times (but for very short amounts of time and it’s funny), yet there’s always reason, and the ‘Attention whore’ thing- well that’s something you’re born with, not something you can just DO!!! I need music to theme by mood. I feel so ‘Smack my bitch up.’ Why does everyone keep talking to me today??? Hahahah…i’m a lunatic….Writing this blog is my therapy. By the end of it, i’ll be ‘skipping in rainbowed fields’ happy.

 If you’re gonna come in my bed, (erm..?) bring love, not war…and preferably gifts to help ease my moody, incase i’m PMS-ing!! I love you, i do, thanx for letting me vent!! (hahaha)

Say ‘OOh La Laa!’


This is one of MY favourite pictures that will aid you to good health on this fabulous, ‘it’s almost the weekend’ Friday. Whilst i did this shoot, ( a few months ago) i had 2 photographers ‘snapping’ me, at the same time…this ones taken by Staff K or DV8 (as he likes to be called).  I was testing the water, for one second (during a very ‘Diva’ moment..haha)… he shot it…then smoked 48 cigarettes in a row… it worked! This picture, is the picture that actually got me noticed by someone VERY important. Watch this space! Oh and ofcourse…ENJOY!

Feeling McFuzzy

Still feeling a bit fuzzy, and kinda just ‘nodding n smiling’ at people like i’m actually listenning to what they’re saying. I mean, how can i make my ears work, when i can’t even seem to keep my goddam eyes open?? Feel my pain! My throats a bit sore, because the weather decides to be lovely, until i step two feet out the door. Then it decides, to quite ungracefully RAIN all over me. I catching a quick whiff of the cold. It’s hilarious, but really not that funny or interesting??? (God, my blog is shit.)

Work is great, and i’m prepping for the BIG shoots. I can’t shoot until my boobies are exactly right, so i’m vigorously massaging them to McSoften them quickly, so i can play!! I’m dying to work, and i have the best job in the world ever. I’m Lucky, so i just need to speed up the recovery! I hope you’re all okay, and stuff?? I’m sure you are…Fridays are always fun, no matter where or what you are?? Well that’s kinda not true..but…oh whatever! I’m just babbling, so i’m gonna trot off and grab me a cuppa!!

kisses

I love you x