The power of blowjobs!!

Helloooo my pussies!! I love you all!! (most of the time anyway…) I’m feeling fun loving today, because it’s beautiful weather outside, and i probably have the best fake tan that ‘Boots’ (if ur american, it’s like a massive drug store..) could possibly supply. Yeah, my life in England is WAY less glamourous, yet like i said before, a really decent form of rehab. I guess i just had to get away for a wee while to re-find myself, and i know that sounds soooooooooo ‘hollywood drama queen’ cliche, but you try waking up on a spinning merry-go-around, outside LA’s most popular gay bar, when the last thing you remember doing was the pre-Tequila shot dance, after a LA male hottie, who’s probably done a ‘Days of our Lives’ has once again broken your heart…it can really scar you for life!!! (especially when ‘plan B’ hottie, has not picked up his mobile phone…and all there is to do is pass out on a merry-go-around, with your perfect pedicure, before 3 beautiful Gay men, pick you up, plonk you in a car and drive you home to safety.) Hahaha! I think they did actually end up breaking into my appartment, taking really good care of me, then suddenly dumping me on the nearest couch…like a dead body, as my male roomate stumbles down the stairs in nothing but his tight white briefs. BITCHES!!! hahaha… i love them!! (not really)

Now, however i’m all ‘good as gold’…i really never got that saying??  Good as Gold?? Anyway, fuck that..  I have a pretty perfect life, a pretty perfect ‘Latin Lover’ …who (after my mother) is my lifeline. There is no breaking this man….believe me i’ve tried. He’s like genius at love..( ..if ur reading this Rudes, theres no need to get bloody big headed) He stands there with his ‘silent strength,’ whilst i jiggery pokery around him. So i guess i’m saying, if you hate me and are feeling the need to dispose of me, you may molest me, yet when it comes to the killing part….kill the  Latin ‘lifeline’ instead…it will hurt me more…honest!!! hahaha (i’m too beautiful to go out like that!) Take him!!

I’m currently watching an old woman on the news, who used to be in Benny Hill or something, film a video for Youtube, because her Old but Really RICH hubby is divorcing her and leaving her penniless. Ho-hum!She’s major angry, (proving that she probably is a bit too ‘bunny boiler’ to be his wife ) She’s a  bit Mcdrunky, looks like she use to be a Playmate when she was 20, (which i like)  and is asking us to donate money to her, so she can buy a tent to live in, because her rich hubby is evicting her!! Oh the bliss of Divorce!! All she has to do is ‘put out.’!!  Or get her knockers out for a pornagraphic magazine. Then she’ll have millions, or herpes of the mouth?

I don’t get it?? All women know …that if you give a good ‘bedroom shuffle, ‘ or you’re a master , with strangely long fleshy objects that seem to always find there merry way, into your mouth.. A man will pretty much forgive you for all your  miserable sins, and sometimes let you commit more. Why do you think, ‘Latin Lover’ adores me…??  It’s got nothing to do with deep rooted love (hahaha) Well it does, if ‘root’ means ‘penis’ and ‘deep’ means ‘My mouth’….. he’s just waiting for his sloppy…(our word for ‘messy blowjob.’) hahaha!! I give a good one. Brings him to tears! (Probably cos it’s painful) My mother taught me well!!  So Blondie says, ‘Donate money for a tent!!’ I say, ‘Get on your knees love and blow.. ..’ haha!  I’d make a good bastard husband!! Actually well done her, for managing to get her angry Youtube vid on the news. Its really because she’s old and hot. if she looked like Nora Batty no-one would care???

4 thoughts on “The power of blowjobs!!

  1. Princess,

    I hope when you are back in LA you will let me take you out to dinner once in a while like the old days and shower you with a few gifts. Do you still have the t-shirts with “I love to make boys cry” on them?They are so you.

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