Diamonds were a Girls best friend

Okay, so to release the tension of the day, i decided to buy ‘bling.’ ( not rappers delight, massive chain, dollar sign, grill- like yo yo mama… bling…but proper solitaire ‘Oooooh Darling,’ diamond.) It was purchased by ‘moi’ to put a smile on my miserable face, and to make me feel worth something..(haha, therapy is a calling.) You can tell that the lady in ‘the land of diamond selling,’ felt really sorry for me. Yet not that sorry, as she snatched my card out of my hands, at the speed of light. GREATNESS!! Anyway, it didn’t fit…ofcourse, so now i’ve bought ‘Bling’, and i’m having to wait until Monday to recieve it, and basically feel worth it!! Pointless!! So, i then went to Claires Accessories, and bought a sparkly, glitter headband, with flowers on ( don’t ask) for £2.00. I’m wearing it right now. I wore it in my bubble bath too. During my bath, i kept pretending i was Cleopatra. Don’t know why?? (Probably should’ve have admitted that??) But really it felt good, except when i snapped back to reality, i was sitting in a ‘not warm anymore,’ bath, in a glitter headband, with crap flowers on it, and without my Egyptian bitches, bathing me in milk. I also then sang ‘ My heart belongs to Daddy,’ out loud, once again proving that one day you will be covering my breakdown. I might as well start making my own straight jacket…so it at least fits!!

 I’ve just helped my friend, (i’ll call him ‘Nazi,’) make his ‘circus act’ jump through hoops, hoops, more hoops, because he’s bored. (Ah dee dums!) Boredom rocks, because it stops you from being normal.

Anyway, life on the whole is grand, i’m happy, i can’t believe my luck, and i totally missed Eastenders tonight!! BOLLOCKS!!

2 thoughts on “Diamonds were a Girls best friend

  1. Love it!! Ur like GOD, or Google (hahahaha) you have the answers to everything a Glamour puss could ever need to know!! EE…here i come!! Rickaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay!!

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