When life is on your side….

I feeling really good today! So many wonderful things are happening. I’m in a great mood and I think it’s because a lot of ‘do gooding’ is currently occurring in Wunna land. It’s crazy! But the actual ‘buzz’ that I’m getting from making people smile, doing something to help others, changing the world a wiggle at a time & giving back…is making me feel on top of the world. I’m feel like some kind of ultra gleeful, superhero of boujiness.

It’s great!

Right okay, so…work wise, I start filming the most amazing short film ‘Stained Canvas’ next week! I could not be more excited to bring ‘Lily’ the bohemian fashion designer to life & I can’t wait to work with Jayne Slater, who’s an award winning, young film maker!

I’ve also just watched and shared the new promo video for ‘Isolation The Series 2’ by Steve Leeds and I can’t wait to be a part of that! It’s such an innovative series.

I’m in a feature film that shoots November. It has dinosaurs in it. The Wunna babies are in the film also and well I cannot wait to work with Scott Jeffery and Jagged Edge Productions. They’re a great team. A strong team.

And finally, I’ve joined the cast of ‘Series of Light’ season 2 on Amazon Prime UK & US and we’re set to film by the end of the year. I can’t wait to sass about as DC Jackie Lambert. (The character name alone gets me going!! Thank you Gage Oxley & Jessica Redhead.)

So…you’ve got all that!

In the meantime, whilst I’ve been learning my lines…a lot of you will know that on Friday Nov 20th I’m gonna be giving up my bed and sleeping rough to raise funds and build awareness for the charity ‘End Youth Homelessness,’ (who provide support and accommodation for young homeless people between the ages of 16-25.

I only just started pushing it and promoting it not last night but the night before…because I’d been so busy. I had a target of £100 because for every £100 I make in funds, it provides a young homeless person with FOUR nights warm & safe accommodation this Christmas!!!

Thanks to YOU my just giving campaign began trending over night and in 2 days I’d not only hit my target fund goal, but doubled it.

I cannot thank you enough for your support. It means so much to me, honestly from the bottom of my heart. Plus, it’s kinda special to know that during these hard times people ARE still wanting to give and make things better for others.

I feel the love. I feel the support and I truly appreciate it. Words can’t describe how wonderful your help has made me feel. Like you, I’m human and have been through many hard times. I’ve always tried not to talk about them, simply because I’m a ‘take it on the glitzy chin’ kinda girl. My inner ‘Northern’ gives me that ‘tough as old boots’ vibe. Plus, I always wanted to whizz a more positive vibe out there.

Yet realistically, there’s nothing MORE positive than someone’s TRUTH and someone who can TELL THEIR STORY without shame, with the intention to inspire and with a non-alcoholic smile on their face. (I hate that I’m not or drinking right now. I want pina coladas….strong ones…. slide down an imaginary bar at me, so I can erotically sniff them.)

Anyway…lol

The money you’ve helped raise so far for my ‘Sleep Out’ campaign will now help provide TWO young homeless people with safe and warm accommodation this Christmas! (They’re off the dangerous streets and that settles my heart. It makes me smile!)

I’m over the moon. I’m actually looking forward to sleeping rough for the night. I’m gonna try and document it all, if I can. But let’s keep the excitement going and get as many children and young adults into a safe place for Christmas! I mean, there’s young single mums out there, on the streets…with their kids, trying to fend for themselves! They need help and we can help them. There’s should be no barriers….just that good old thing called love.

So please do please do find it in your heart to donate…Even just £1 makes a huge difference! I mean sending video messages and signed pics to everyone who donates. You can even win a virtual date!!! Donate at the link below:

https://justgiving.com/fundraising/sleepout2020-chrissiewunna

So, I had a bunch of ‘Zoom’ meetings today, one after the other…and I sent out quite a lot of emails and press releases out. Ruby had an audition and Junior ate baguettes on the street, whilst we were practicing ‘just sitting and being glared at’ and finding good homeless ‘sleepy’ spots on our after school walk.

But earlier this morning I found a REALLY amazing organisation @SCCCC (@Sheffield 4C) whilst I was on Twitter posting my ‘Fifty Shades’ video. Lol.

Anyway, they have a Penpal Scheme where people like you & I write letters or draw pictures etc…(The idea is that it’s ‘Happy Mail.)

You then send your letters/paintings to them and they have it delivered to various isolated old people within the community, who may not have ANY family or friends, simply to make them smile, feel appreciated, let them know that’s the thought of and well it helps combat loneliness.

How lovely!!!!

It made me immediately flash back to a time…years ago…when I worked in a coffee shop. A cheeky gentleman named ‘Albert’ used to always come in. He was loud, flirty and naughty.

He always use to crack the lost hilariously inappropriate jokes. One day he walked in…But he looked so sad. I asked him what the matter was…He simply looked at me and quietly said…

‘You don’t want to ever be 80. It’s the loneliest time.’

He then walked away…It just never left me. It’s one of my flash backs. I wonder why we hold onto some flash backs, but not others? Why does our brain choose certain moments? Or is it our soul that does the selecting?

Therefore with that’s being said ‘Wunna Land’ went into action. I was full, speed ahead and began hand washing, sanitising and then grabbing paper to write as many letters as I could.

The babies (Ruby & Junior) then joined in on the action and started drawing and painting their ‘happy mail,’ to send off.

So far we have 50 pieces of ‘Happy Mail’ to make anyone who is feeling lonely smile!

What a BUZZ!

It’s been such a delight to do them and take part in the Penpal scheme and well i think YOU should too because it feels so rewarding. It’s just so easy. It’s a great thing to do as a family and it takes nothing to just write one happy letter or paint one happy picture! It will make an old person smile and feel appreciated! That’s all you have to do!

Anyway, I’ve noticed that whilst a delightful amount of ‘do gooding’ and giving back to others is happening, a great deal of pretty wonderful things keep happening TO ME!?!

Now, I don’t know whether it’s because i feel good, or whether it’s because the karma thing is the real deal? But I’m kinda genuinely noticing that if you give out love, it really does come back to your threefold. (No joke.) I’m watching it happen to me, over and over again!

If I wasn’t so tired, I’d definitely be having an imaginary rum right now! Why am I so old?

All my love,

Chrissie x

Ps/ I’ll leave you with this. I mean, I filmed it so you might as well watch it. Lol (Infact, you’ve probably already seen it, it’s been chilling on my insta for a day..)

And just like that…

I’m laid on the ‘sunshine bed’ with my red kimono draped upon me, with golden, collagen, gel patches under my eyes. 🙂 I also have olive coloured joggers on underneath the kimono, JUST to make me feel like the world is a safer place. The under eye, gel patches are apparently ‘lavender’ infused. I’m not sure why I’ve tried to make my eyes all relaxed and sleepy, to THEN attempt to write a blog? I’ve stuck them on my forehead now.

But anyway, I was in ‘Zoom’ court this morning at 10am. I’m not gonna go into it because I’ve been tinkering through the rather un-glamorous court bushes for over a year now. However today I was rewarded with peace and good old justice. It all went well! I have utter happiness in my heart. I’m really grateful because I had a lot of support. I’m tremendously thankful to all those who helped and well I’m lucky enough to have had THE BEST barrister, the most phenomenal representation EVER, who was Lorena Veale at KBW Chambers. (If you ever need a barrister & you are Leeds-ish based, she IS your ‘go to.’

Anyway, as you may know, I was a little stressed last night. Not openly stressed, more internally concerned….which to me is almost worse. Lol. There were moments where I’d crouch on the floor, with my hands over my face and just sigh, whilst uttering the word ‘shit’ on a slow repeat, simply to ease out some air. Lol

I couldn’t sleep. I kept looking at phone and worrying as time ticked by. I didn’t want it to go intonations the early hours. I kept drinking my non alcoholic beer…for no reason, because it really didn’t help at all. It just gave me something to do, in the dark… to pass that ticking time.

Then just when i was feeling like utter shit and throwing pity party or two…my phone blinked and a DM had come through to my insta.

It was 11.20pm

Scott Jeffery: ‘Hey! 🙂 How far are you from this area?’

(Followed by a screenshot of a giant house, situated in a West Yorkshire village.)

And just like that I saved ‘The Gods.’

Five DMs later…I had joined the cast of a movie, so had Ruby & Junior, by November we’re filming and it even has DINOSAUR’s in it!!!!

I cannot wait it!!!!

Now, I’d been wanting to work with Scott for a while. I auditioned for a role in a feature that he was producing, a couple weeks ago…Since then I’d been watching everything that he, his colleagues, his actors and the companies he had been aligned without in absolute awe. I watched everything they were doing on their ‘socials’ and I was amazing. It was so creatively alive. It was positively astounding. I wanted in!

Last night, 5 DMs in after 11.20pm my dream came true and I cannot even tell you how’s it changed my mood around! I was SO happy, that my entire body filled up with a ‘joie de vivre,’ a rush that only a combination of happiness & excitement could ever conjour.

I felt amazing!!! I was literally jumping around my room, in my rescue kimono, IN the fucking dark, doing happy dances!

It reminded that my life was alright and that I had so much more to be excited about!! It reminded me to refrain from letting fear & negativity, be my focus. It’s shit. It’s not the right vibe.

Last night proved that within seconds and out of the blue, a single moment…a simple dm at 11.20pm…can absolutely CHANGE your vibe, your life or your future. This is no joke, it really can. It did!!! I lived it!

It was the most wonderful feeling. So wonderful that no words can describe how I felt, in that moment. It was such a high, after feeling that little low. That case of worry.

(You shouldn’t worry, it’s not good for you. It prevents good things from fluttering your way.)

This morning when I woke the kids up, it wasn’t dreary. I had envisioned it being dreary and filled with fake smiles, which they see through, instantly. Well…Ruby does. She may say nothing, but she’ll feel everything. (She’s so in tune with Wunna land. She’s…well…she’s the natural heir to the throne. Lol)

Anyway….this morning…

It wasn’t ‘don’t think about Mama & court today, just enjoy school.’

It was… ‘Babies, you’re gonna be in a movie. You get to travel away to set and there’s dinosaurs in it! 🙂 ‘

A sense of giddy, happiness swirled around Wunna land last night….just in the nick of time. It glided through our morning, as the sun rose.

It rebuilt a confidence in my soul, a confidence that I already had and at 11.02am, fresh out of my ‘Zoom’ court hearing, life went back to normal.

I’m one happy kitten…

Roll on tomorrow. 🙂

(Ryan experienced ‘Porn Monday’ today…so i’m sure he’s delighted also. Lol.)

There’s just so much…

Happy Sunday. I never know what I’m gonna write, until I write it. So here goes…

I’ve had a chilled week off. It’s a week I needed off because i’d been working so hard. I’d also been hustlin’ and the ones of you who do it, will know that although positive, it can be exhausting. You either get somewhere or nowhere at all! However, I don’t think hitting a few brick walls is bad for you. There’s also some kinda lesson learnt and it’s thise lessons that make you!

I have an important day tomorrow. It’s kind of a ‘big day.’ It was actually meant to be much bigger. Yet for me emotionally…it’s big enough. So over the weekend I’ve insisted on just being calm and having chilled out fun with my family. (Ruby, Junior & my Mama.) We’ve been out and about in my home town (Doncaster ) just shopping, lunching, Pumpkin Carving and just keeping things simple. It’s been absolutely wonderful. Just seeing how happy the babies were melted my heart! They’re my everything! I mean, I’m certainly sure wobbling around a market place, with two giant pumpkins in my arms, in leopard print, heels and a face mask…as the babies sang and skipped around next to me, was definitely a sight for the loony bin. But it was worth it! It made us all so happy! I’ve loved my weekend and without joy you have absolutely nothing!

I’d say it’s important to me to keep things simple. I hate it when people come in and complicate everything. Or when people place drama, problems or complications ABOVE ease, solutions and well…the art of simplicity. (I look for that in all areas of my life…work, family, general living and in men. I don’t like ‘drama’ men. They go against my natural grain.)

Anyway, this week has been a funny week?

I’m not good at having time off. I find it difficult. I’ve been uncomfortable spiritually and mentally. It stresses me out.

I’m also not great at feeling like I’m not succeeding. I put a lot of pressure on myself & I shouldn’t.

Time off…for some reason makes me feel like I’m not doing well enough or trying hard enough…which isn’t at all the case? I have great balance. Right now I seem to be doing everything right. I’m good. The kids couldn’t be happier. I’m mostly happy. Lol. The career’s alright. There’s nothing for me to be exceptionally worried about? Maybe my ‘tomorrow’ is concerning me internally.

Regardless & realistically there’s nothing to stress out about.

When you are stressed out about something I believe you should feel it, as in submerge yourself in it. Say it out loud, so you can hear it too. Then you’ll definitely feel like shit for a moment…but then you’ll ACCEPT it, understand it, comes to terms with it and it’s then when you’ll start to feel better & beable to baby step forward.

I don’t know why I sometimes stress out about things? I mean doesn’t stress grow from fear? I’m not really scared of too much?

But when’s it comes to life, I believe that you get what’s meant for you. You’re exactly where you’re meant to be. There’s a whole big picture for you & you’ll understand it as you go. The things that aren’t truly yours, will NEVER be yours…and no matter how hard you try. Yet sometimes, you hardly have to try at all and just because something was MEANT for you… it materialises into your actual reality and becomes a part of your story. Almost like magic!

I’ve experienced both. That’s how I know it’s true.

I’ve had a very colourful past, which has made me worry a lot about things, because I know how uneasy life can turn out. Lol.

Yet, at the same time it has also transformed me into the most relaxed and most confident human being alive. It’s odd that it’s done both? I feel invincible sometimes because I’m a survivor and there’s nothing I can’t handle because I’ve been through so so much. ( God! I wish you could just see into my head and watch my life flash back at you. Only THEN you’d understand.)

But there’s a humility to me, that’s grounding. I’ve always been a good person. I’m raised well. Even through the shit bits, I’ve always still been a good person at heart. However, I never thought that I’d actually grow WISER as I got older. But I have!!! Haha! I’m truly astonished!!! Fair enough it took me nearly 40 years…Yet, who’s counting, I’m getting there! That’s all that matters.

Today’s actually been great! I’m ready for tomorrow! Plus, I recieved exciting emails and messages, that got me juiced!

I start filming ‘Stained Canvas’ on the 27th and can’t wait! It’s again one of those great films. As soon as I read the script, I knew! It’s written & directed by Jayne Slater & her sense of creativity, style and film making is beautiful. I’m really honoured to be part of this story. (I was kinda worried because of a potential ‘Lockdown 2,’ which is shit for those in entertainment. Yet it seems that all is well and we can go ahead with the filming. I don’t have to get a job in ‘Cyber.’ 🙂 Lol. I’m excited!)

Then I scrolled down my emails & I saw it…The email of all emails! ‘Street light’ of ‘Series of Light’ is now at final draft & cast reads are happening this month! I’m absolutely delighted! It’s all incredibly exciting! I feel so lucky to have joined the cast for the second series! I’m a huge fan of the show and well…now… I’m in it! 🙂 Gage has really done a tremendous job! There’s just something about this….I can feel it!

I’m currently laid in bed, in the dark in my kimono, writing this on my phone, which is the only light on the room. Junior’s laid asleep next to me because he can never sleep alone. Tomorrow is a big day for him also. I feel for him. It’s awful. Soon it’ll all be over and we can all live happily with the stability and joy that we deserve.

I’m meant to be doing my Q&A on my insta story right now, but I don’t know if I want to yet? Lol. I love all my questions. There’s sometimes some really great ones. But then my DM’s fill up quickly…and it fills up with men, guys, strangers, who fancy a shot at the old ‘Glamour Puss.’

I can’t go through them because there’s too many. Yet I always find it so strange when guys slide straight in with a suggestion that I ‘excite’ them, that they feel all horny and I’ve made parts of their anatomy stand to attention.

That’s not the correct way to try and win my heart. I’m not stimulated like that. I’m sensual. I’m love sex. I’m in tune with my sexuality & when I’m in a relationship ‘the bedroom’ is a place I adore.

Yet if a guy thinks a DM slide with ‘I’m horny,’ is gonna make me fall at his knees because he thinks I’m hot…then he’s stupid & it’s the sheer stupidity of such, that will turn me off.

I also don’t like it when guys read this and then think they’re smart and throw in a ‘it’s your personality I love’ line… lol. Again, I’m not that stupid. I can see through people really fast. I can tell when they’re not being themselves. I can tell when they think I’m stupid. I’m so experienced at this that I could write 94 books on it, backwards…on a donkey. Lol

I’m a romantic. A hopeless one. I love, love. I love falling in love and being loved. I get the ‘sexy’ thing. I like it. I’m flattered. But if a guy really wanted to win my heart wouldn’t they do it properly…They’d be more balanced than just ‘dick.’ I like balance.

Plus, it’s hard 😉 right now because I have a crush. The Ryan crush. There’s nothing about Ryan that I don’t like & i’ve actually had quite a lot of time to get to know him…which never usually happens. Circumstance has actually forced us to get to know each other in this particular way. But I like it! It’s not bad. I wouldn’t get to know as well otherwise.

But he’s really genuine and kind. He’s funny. He’s also wise…and i like that. I love a dollop of wisdom.

This is why I shouldn’t have a week off because I start to think about things…

It’s 23.07 UK time. In the morning…I have court.

‘B’ is for Busy…

I haven’t written in ages. Has it been a month? I dunno? But life has been busy. Kinda like a whirl of hard work, excitement, achievement, entertainment, motherhood, life and…I guess, I’d say hope?

I work so hard TO BE busy! Then when I ‘get busy’ I panic until I’ve fully accomplished the task with flying colours and my heart in one happy piece. Over time i’ve become an expert at avoiding ‘distraction,’ however it may flounce into Wunna land. I’ve learnt everything the hard way, but right now, I’m ridiculously focused and I say it’s about bloody time at 39 years old! 😉

People grow at different times, on different levels and in different ways. But i’m in the game. I ‘is’ here and I ‘is’ alive.

They say if you’re well, happy & loved, then you have everything you could ever need in life.

Since the last time I spoke to you, I’ve self taped (auditioned) or Zoom auditioned probably twice a day? It’s been a really great time. Really busy!

I booked a feature film, ‘Charlotte,’ (there’s been quite a buzz about it online.) I filmed it a couple weeks ago in a cottage, in the most remote part of the North Yorkshire Dales. But oh my gosh, it was MORE than worth it. I’ll tell you all about it, as I go along, especially when it screens. Yet, to have worked with such outstanding talent, Georgia Conlan, Dean Kilbey (they lead the film) & Martin Hardwick (D.O.P) well, it was an absolute blessing! It’s such a dark, gripping tale, a psychological thriller and it will change your perspective on life. When this film releases, everyone is going to be astonished.

I looked back at some of the scenes in the cottage and it’s just ‘first class’ and I’m so grateful to be part of such a wonderful story. Every single person gave it their all. Everyone single person made everyone else on set feel of worth. I’ve actually ‘wrapped’ on it now, but they’re still filming… so as the days go on, i’ll tell you about some of my ‘behind the scenes’ moments on set. 🙂

I read today that over 2000 people had auditioned for roles in the film and 16 were ‘hand picked.’ I always forget how many actors audition for roles. I feel very lucky! It was an absolute honour to work with such a remarkable team.

What else as happened? The Wunna Babies, Ruby & Junior, they’ve both been auditioning like the clappers. They’re booking quite a lot and just the other day they worked their first music video, which they loved.

I’m really really proud of them right now and not because they’re working so hard. They’re only 9 & 7. But because no matter what they go through in life, the good and the bad, they always remain so grounded, so positive, they stay close to one another and appreciate everything. They’re so thoughtful.

Over the last few weeks I’ve worked so much, I can’t even begin to go over everything all at once. I’m grateful! But I need to tell you the stories as I tinker onward because everything’s just moving so fast! (I don’t even have time to watch my favourite Netflix shows, which is truly DEVASTATING!!! The good thing is that I also don’t have time to stress out. That’s always a bonus.)

I had a Zoom audition on Friday for a Channel 4 show. I think it went well? I don’t know? I hope so? I’d really like to be a part of it, so we’ll see whether it’s meant for me? I always think your stories already written and whatever so meant to happen will just flipping happen.

My ‘milkshake’ still seems to be bringing all the boys to my yard? I don’t know how? But I’m flattered. I’ll remember all this when I’m 80. Hopefully i’ll Be back to drinking lots by then, so I can’t have a laugh about it all. Oh and when I say ‘yard,’ I mean my ‘social media’ yard, as during times of ‘focus,’ I don’t let boys creep any way further past the cyber line. Lol. Well, unless it’s Ryan. He can pretty much do whatever he wants because he’s ace. I’m kinda in ‘awe’ of his aceness.

But anyway, I’m working really hard. I’m looking through ‘wardrobe’ for my next film ‘Stained Canvas,’ by Jayne Slater. I play bohemian fashion designer ‘Lily’ and I just cant wait! We hopefully start filming this month. I’ve done a couple virtual rehearsals and reads…so alls good! Just plonk me in my boho outfit and i’m good to go!

For the rest of the year…

I have a Netflix pilot and 2 features for now to work on. I did the ‘Casting Me Comp’ today for Do or Die Studios. I had a day off and i wanted to use it wisely!

I think I get my ‘Series of Light’ script soon! Being part of this series has got me good! I can’t even describe my levels of excitement and I’m playing ‘Detective Jackie Lambert.’ I LOVE IT!!! The first series is on Amazon Prime UK & US…So you must watch it! I think the book of unseen scripts is out also!

Basically, lots is going on….this was just a catch up blog. I always say I’m gonna write a blog every day from this point, don’t i? Then work flies on in…and I forget to prioritise this little diary of love…and I shouldn’t.

I keep ‘flash backing’ to about 15 years ago, when my LA neighbour ‘Cletus’ poured tea on our shared balcony and told me to hand write a daily diary…

I’ll tell you about it all tomorrow.

I love you lots!

Chrissie x

The most beautiful times…

So much is happening!!! This blog was meant to be a Q&A ‘diddly-pop,’ so you have my sincerest apologies. However, within days, i’ll tell you that such wonderfully, blissful, blessings decided sprinkled into my life and all over the grounds of Wunna land. Completely out of nowhere. So I had to ‘write out’ to simply let off some ‘wow-steam,’ as I call it. That way I don’t get overwhelmed or mistakenly mighty. Lol.

But this week, is the week that I realised my life was changing…and I can actually say for the better. 🙂 (And breeeeeathe.)

We’re already in September. That sneaked up on us, didn’t it? It’s currently 5.56am. I’ve been up since 4.53am. My room’s a calming kinda dark, with a pale blue light hazing, in as the day dawns around us.

The numbers ‘5,’ ‘15,’ then ‘45,’ repeatedly flashed up in my dreams last night…well this morning. I’ve already looked them up! Alls good. I must always been surrounded by guardian angels are something? I always dream of numbers, when I’m going through things in my life.

Okay! If you’re following my ‘socials,’ you’ll know I’ve been busy. I still am busy. I have a short and two feature films that I’m learning lines for (I’m ever so grateful for the opportunities that I’m currently been given) and this week I’m just SO lucky because I’ve been working with Ruby & Junior. On Friday, we head back to set… to film a commercial together. They couldn’t be more excited, so I’m delighted!

Director Ross: ‘Just so you know we’ve hired a Dad.’

I looked at my call sheet on Tuesday just to see who they cast as ‘Dad’ and OH MY GOD it was ‘Grayson!!’ Earlier this year, I shot a film called ‘Leave in Lurch,’ and I was cast as Grayson’s girlfriend.

On Friday for the commercial (a whole different set, story and director) he’s been cast as my husband and the kids ‘Dad.’ How crazy is that!!

So out of all the submissions casting received from thousands of actors and models, where a family had to be selected…The director randomly picked us as his perfect ‘on screen’ couple…not knowing that we’d already been cast as such earlier in the year.

I’ve spoken to Grayson and he’s buzzing! He’s so excited and over the moon. So it’s just really great to be working with him and the babies this Friday! What an absolute Vibe!!! What a twist of fate! It’s literally just…well…CRAZY!! (They’ll be loads of BTS! So stay tuned.)

A lot of my life is work right now and it just feels amazing. More than amazing. I can’t describe it? I have my agent Rob, to thank for that. He’s been on ANOTHER level. He’s absolute dynamite.

I feel like I’ve literally come straight out of lockdown within seconds and ‘boom’ I had 7 lucky auditions, booked 4 of them & that was just one week. He called yesterday to congratulate Ruby. She’s just booked another film. At this point I’m just flabbergasted! I don’t know what’s happening??

But I’m breathing and I’m smiling. 🙂 I’m really grateful.

What else? Oh! I’ve been Tiktok banned!! I’ve disappeared. Just recently an idiotic person or a gather of devastatingly idiotic people kept reporting my videos. On Tiktok, You can only get reported so many times until you get banned. Therefore I’m banned, now :). However, in a way it feels like ABSOLUTE BLISS!

What a blessing in diguise? As soon as I realised, it was weird? A powered puff of ‘happy’ sort of misted around me? It was like I could breathe again…like a strange burden had been lifted, where I no longer had to be a slave to my 15 second pieces of entertainment!

I mean don’t get me wrong, it served it’s purpose during lockdown. I loved tiktoking through that time…when I had nothing else to do. It gave me something to be excited about. It also built popularity which I’m grateful for, as I was lucky (or smart enough 😉 ) to have it turned into jobs!

Yet recently as I got busier and busier, with work. It was audition after audition. Script read, after script read. Line learning…My real job. All the stuff I truly love, not the ‘quick fix’ kinda love, that fills a temporary void.

Well it became apparent that i couldn’t be bothered to post anymore? It was almost becoming a chore…like I HAD to post, to make an audience happy, more than wanting to post and that’s not how I live. It almost felt restricting and suffocating in a weird way?

So I kinda just feel so relieved, that such a responsiblity had been taken away from me. :). I feel like a proper actor again…instead of a show pony. Lol. A burden’s been lifted and life is simple again. It’s perfect.

I always think people take something simple & then go out of their way to complicate it at times? In Wunna Land the babies and I try and live by the art of absolute simplicity. We eradicate the non essentials. We don’t give complications or dodgy situations priority. We’ve been happy ever since. I’ve been so insanely focused ever since.

So many wonderful things have happened to us AFTER we committed to keeping things simple.

(Ruby’s just walked into my room with a gold face/peel away mask on.)

Anyway, Last night I got to chatter to the girls at BBC Radio. I feel so grateful to have been lucky enough to get a last minute call to be a guest of their show to discuss the fine art of public dating! It was such a blast! I loved it…and well they’ve supported the kids and I all the way through our careers! So I’m utterly humbled! (Thank you soooooo much for having me on! And I got to plug ‘Series of Light!’ Haha! Yes!!)

Oh! I just wanted to also say thank you for all the DM’s I’ve received because of that painting I did yesterday. Lol.

It was just a bit of fun. Ruby and I had an artsy day yesterday. We did self portraits and just enjoyed making a mess really! Haha. I love to draw & paint. It’s so therapeutic. I’m certainly not an artist. I’m an actor. But I do love art.

I am prepping for a film right now, called ‘Stained Canvas,’ I play ‘Lily.’ I cant wait to begin filming. We’ve been in rehearsals recently. So I just figured, I’d catch a vibe and stain a canvas.

But thank you so much for the love. 🙂 It’s always appreciated.

Everything’s just brilliant right now…and it’s only the beginning!

Have the most beautiful day!!!

Chrissie

Teddies, Teeth & True life…

The ‘Tooth Fairy’ has visited. Two giant bears now reside in ‘Wunna land.’ I’ve just read an 88 page script. I’ve just this second received a revised script of another film. (‘Stained Canvas.’ A beautifully devastating story.) I’m learning my sides for an audition I have tomorrow and Ruby’s currently trying to have an argument with me over dough balls.

If I’m being honest, she’s not really argumentative or shouty. She argues with her eyes, silently like a ‘ninja.’ You know she’s unhappy because she has this ability to pout & glare directly at you, with a stone cold face of ‘watch your back.’ Haha.

I fortunately have the same face…Therefore it’s battle of ‘ninja glares.’

This is all because she preferred mango mochi and was presented with garlic dough balls. 🙂

Now she wants to cast spells…which is cool with me.

Junior’s in the bath, watching a movie on Netflix, happy as can be. Lost a tooth. Couldn’t be more delighted. Haha.

Its quite a hectic weekend, followed by a busy week of auditions and filming. So it’s a lucky week. The kids are also working and it makes me smile to see them so excited. Every moment is like a really ‘big moment’ to them and the freshness, the innocence of such, is something I adore! More adults should be that way. I’m excitable anyhow. Yet they make ME even more excited whenever I see them ‘glow’ or when they’re on set.

It’s cute. I love it.

I posted a teddy bear video today on my ‘socials’ because recently i’ve just been really focused on work and I’ve been studying characters…that I haven’t had time for it. I haven’t prioritised it. However, I realised that there’s an audience awaiting to be entertained. So before I arrived on set…I boshed out a Tiktok. 🙂

Literally 4 minutes after I posted it on my Insta, some idiot reported it. (Yawn.) So I appealed my case…and ‘boom’ within minutes it was restored for all viewers to enjoy.

Nice try! 😉

Life is good…away from the ‘crazies.’ I’m keeping myself to myself and doing what I love. I’m also what I want, which delights me. Lol. I’m kinda wallowing in my ‘happy place.’

There’s not really too much to say other than that. I’m just focussed on work. I’m happy and I’m lucky that opportunity is a knocking.

(A lot of actors are dmming me personally with questions. You’ve all pretty much asked the same thing…and my answer would be…you need the right agent to get you through the right doors…otherwise you’ll never get seen. Once you’re in the door…you HAVE to be ready, otherwise you’ll blow ya shot, completely.)

I’ve been chatting to lots of creatives over the last month & I had a look at some of Rene Turrek’s works. He’s an artist. I love art! Most of you will know that. So it was great to chat and see inside his mind. Peek into his world. You should check him on insta. What he does is so cool!

I adore peeking inside the private minds of other creatives. It’s so beautiful.

Oh, and everyone is still asking me about my love life, but there’s nothing to report? It’s far less juicy. I’m still extremely picky. I’m almost more cautious than anything. 🙂 Yet these days, I’m no longer foolish.

Thank the good LORD! Haha.

On the next blog…because I’m a tiddly bit busy with work, I’m going to be gathering in your questions and answering them right here on the blog!

So SEND ME YOUR QUESTIONS!

I hope you’re having a beautiful weekend!

All my love,

Chrissie x

Ps/ I keep dreaming of the number ‘5.’ (Then it turns into ‘15.’)

Life…

I’ve filmed all day & it’s almost felt like a euphoric bliss. I don’t know what’s happening to me right now? It’s almost like a glorious gather of lucky stars have hovered above me and are shining..no…beaming some kinda magical light upon my world.

I feel really close to ‘Dreams Come True.’ I shouldn’t say that, because simply living life, with my babies everyday IS a dream come true. It really is.

Yet, I’m feeling really lucky and somewhat powerful right now. That power is self love and a confidence that at 39… is irrepressible. I’m pretty happy,

But i think I’m just in mild shock because as things are steadily changing (again,) yet certainly for the better, this time…It’s almost overwhelming. I can’t believe it? But why can’t I? I’ve worked so incredibly hard to get here & baby step up…It’s taken focus, sacrifice, years…Why can’t I believe it?

If I was going to tell you something about me, i’d tell you that in my life so many incredibly terrible things have happened to me. You’d be shocked. Anything that you could think of has or nearly has occurred…to the point where that fear, ain or panic was felt, conquered and overcome with love. I don’t know how I managed it? But I did.

I was never alone. I have the most wonderful family. I’m really lucky.

I’ve always lived by the fact that good things happen to good people. All you need is love. That’s always what I had!!

The bad things made me feel human. The conquering of them made me feel like a Queen.

However, at the same time….the most AMAZING things have happened to me in my life. The most believabley, joyous moments of happiness, luck and dreams come true!! I would never have believed it as a little girl. I envisioned it everyday. But I dunno? I well no…as a little Burmese girl, from Doncaster, I believed it would happen.

As I got older there were times or moments where I gave in. But I found my track…and with a smile I galloped onward with my heart in the right place.

Right now, I’m the happiest I’ve ever been. I’m most together I’ve ever felt. Ruby and Junior feel on top of the world. Work is brimming with excitement. (I’ve ‘booked’ so much this last week, only to ‘book’ two more films this week? It’s crazy! It’s incredible. I’m so so grateful. I just can’t believe it!)

My love life….It’s exactly the same as always.

I don’t really pay much attention to it anymore, because it doesn’t seem to make my priority list? I don’t feel lonely. I don’t feel unloved or lost.

I feel happy. I feel full!

I don’t know whether it’s because I don’t let people in or whether I’m too picky or if they’re just not the right person?

Obviously on my ‘socials’ I have quite an eager male following and I love it. I’m very flattered. I like that they’re there. It feels good to wake up every morning and read through their comments.

Sure I’ve been in dodgy situations before. I’ve had real life stalkers who accidentally become infactuated. It was really bad. It was almost like they had travelled to a dark place in their mind and they’d become addicted. I wasn’t a person to them anymore. I was a drug, a prize, a trophy, a project. They saw me as lots of things…but not a person.

And I’m not talking ‘ooh, let’s look at a few pics and stalk her on insta.’ I’m talking real like following me through my day, posting crazy notes through my letterbox. Once I got off a train, and removed my faux fur coat, on the platform. I tucked it under my arm and my phone ‘pinged.’

It was a text that read,

‘Yeah…it is kinda warm today, isn’t it.’

I didn’t know the number. I didn’t know who it was… I didn’t know how they got my number?

For ages, I had to be kept safe.

But that was a long time ago.

Now things are different. Things are glorious. They’re lovely. I feel strong. I’m well balanced. I get it. I get life. I understand myself, what I stand for. I’m really comfortable in my own skin. Almost too comfortable these days. Lol.

Life is good. I’m filming. The rest of the year is exciting. I’m ready to turn 40 in December. The babies are happy and working.

I have luck and life on my side, right now. I feel really focused. I’ve really knuckled down when it comes to work and filled Wunna land with absolute love. Ruby, Junior and I are beaming!

I have a very serious situation happening in October. The kids and I are ready for it! I will have a lot to say afterward. However just not now. So ‘be learnt a lot of things from this particular situation. Hundreds of things.

However, what i’ll tell you is that some people because of the experiences that have occurred in their own life choose to dance in the darkness. Others choose to dance in the light.

I’m not on this Earth to dwell in anger or self pity. I’m not that person. I’m filled with love and I’m here to inspire, create and make people feel, love and smile.

That’s my superpower. That’s my strength.

Today has been great and right now life feels just so wonderful!

Tuesday storms, but super good vibes!!!

It’s 6.48am. I’m laid in bed. My rooms all gloomy. Somewhat dark? It’s raining outside. It’s misty. It’s grey. The droplets on my windows are rushing down endlessly. The sky is undisturbed, almost like a smokey, off white canvas…awaiting some kind of story.

I think there’s a storm coming…The rain’s getting heavier, the patters are getting stronger.

Just before my eyes opened today I dreamt of numbers. This happens to me all the time. I’m quite a spiritual person, so I always Google their meanings if their prominent in my dream.

I dreamt of the number ‘5,’ the number ‘1’ and then they were positioned as ‘15.’ It’s all good. It feels great. Their meanings bring absolutely joy and almost relief to my heart. Lol

I’m going through a lot right now and for the first time in years I can tell you that it’s 92% positive!!!

Thank fuck for that! Haha!

There have been times when I’ve just hit *pause* and pondered at a loss, not knowing where I was going, what I was doing…or what on Earth was happening?. 🙂 These days, well right now, things are really different. It technically shouldn’t be because we’ve all been through a crazy 2020 ‘lockdown?’ But in this present moment, I’ve got my shit together. Life is good! I almost can’t believe it.

I’m really lucky to have so many people in my life showing me such love & support. You need it. If you don’t have it, don’t worry, be your own fire!

So yeah, it’s miserable outside. The storm’s about to make sure of that, but this morning, regardless…I woke up EXCITED! My soul’s filled with joy, I’m happy and I can’t wait to start my day…

This is the month in my life where everything changed for the better. It’s been nuts. But I’m so grateful. It’s made everything I’ve ever felt, worked for or experienced worth it.

It’s the month that changed my life and it’s felt so good that almost anything negative has weirdly just been dissolved away by happiness. But the real kind that calmly glows deep down in your soul. It’s internally beams, as opposed to the sudden rush or flicker of excitement. (Which is still great, yet not stable, lasting or strong.)

Yesterday was great. Early in the day the kids and I had life to conquer. However, we did it and instead of them feeling burdened with unnecessary stress, I asked them what they wanted to do to feel good?

Ruby: ‘I just want to be with you. Shall we just head somewhere and get lunch. I kinda want to buy a colouring book?’

(I always tell you how creative she is. But i’ll literally walk into her room and she’ll be colouring, or waiting for a freshly painted canvases to dry, whilst she’s moulding something out of putty, reading poetry and designing outfits for dolls. Lol. She loves the simply creative pleasures in life. Yet at the same time she adores ‘boujiness.’ A life of luxury. That 5 * quality. So she’s either really simple or really expensive, yet nothing in between ever. Haha. She had the soul of a gypsy, but the ambition of a Queen.)

Junior: ‘I want to go into Leeds and eat somewhere nice.’

(Junior’s our joy. We couldn’t know a more thoughtful human being. He’s certainly ‘babied’ and gets everything he wants based on cuteness. Haha. Yet he’s so grounded and caring. He thinks about everything logically. Yet he’s fair and kind. He’s really emotional and someone who’ll silently cry when he’s happy, or heartbroken. At home he’s a ‘showman.’ Fun! Alive! He’s ambitious and inspires to be in charge of things. Away from prying eyes, he’s LOVES to sing, dance and act. He loves it…and probably more than Ruby. No one would ever think that!)

Anyway! Sorry! We ended up at Blue Sakura, Leeds…and we loved it! It’s all you can eat Japanese food & sushi (you order off an iPad, and it’s brought to you, so you don’t have to get up and do anything, which I like…a lot.) We’ve been before, but every time the kids go, they love it.

So today I’ve got an audition, but for something more fun, than serious, so I’m excited!

I was meant to shoot pics today, but it’s chucking it down? I’ll still try though. The lighting is however shocking.

Then I’m gonna try and Tiktok. I’ve had to neglect it for a couple weeks simply because I’ve been busy working and there’s just hasn’t been time for it. So I’m giving it time today and showing you all some Tiktok love!

Once I hit ‘publish’ I’ve done my blog…so that’s off the ‘to do’ list and I kinda want some neon sliders and a T-shirt with a roaring lions head on it? Where can I get them?

Yesterday I was chatting to Rob, (my agent) and it’s crazy because there’s some really exciting projects that are now opening up to me as opportunities …and I don’t know how I’ve managed to get so far, in what feels like such a short time? I’m still in shock, but delighted and just going with it. I’m so grateful!!

Obviously due to last week, we now have a whole bunch of scheduling to organise, because everything that I’ve auditioned for and ‘booked’ I want to fit in & do. Plus, the scripts that have l been sent through or offered…Well the stories that I love, I certainly want to be a part of. I’m still auditioning, so more work keeps being added AND now the babies are working. Plus, I think he still has a dazzle of negotiating & pitching to tango with…and well I can ever say ‘no’ to the things that make me happy!

He went through this years ‘goals’ with me yesterday and smiled. I was so excited!

Mum: ‘This is it Chrissie. You’re on your way now..’

(She smiled. I like it when my mum smiles.)

That guy that shouted at me at The Botanist messaged me AGAIN to wish me well. I didn’t reply. I ghosted it. I don’t mind people messaging at all. Yet, he just hasn’t made a very good impression at all.

Good friend J: ‘You don’t need to reply to anything. He has closure. You said everything you needed to say that evening…very clearly. There’s nothing more to say. It’s a technique he’s using to try and find an opening.’

‘I’m not even thinking about it. I’m so busy right now and it just feels so negative. I cba. I don’t even know him? This is my life. Haha.’

Oh fuck!

I forgot to tell you! I created an Amazon wish list the other day. Not one where you force people to purchase. Haha. That’s why I haven’t posted it anywhere. . I mean I can buy my own bunny slippers….just 😉

But I cannot even tell you how therapeutic it began to feel, whenever I hit the ‘add to wish list,’ button. You should try it? At first I didn’t care. Not at all. I’m not aroused by ‘ stuff’ …..at first…Haha. 😉 By item 5, it was almost so satisfying in a peaceful, greedy way? I couldn’t stop? I loved it!

I have the most RANDOM list. It has all sorts on there, like pink netbooks, a Hugh Hefner dressing down, Bunny slippers, retro T-shirt’s, corsets…poetry day books.

Ruby: ‘Why are you adding a Roman godde cosplay outfit? Haha?’

‘I don’t know? I just really want it! :)’

‘Can I add something?’

‘No. It’s my wish list. Not yours.’

‘Haha…I love you Mama.’

Anyway, I hope you have an absolutely beautiful day!

All my love,

Chrissie x

Giggles, Work, Charity Shops & Apologies…

What an absolutely delightful week! Fair enough, we’re on Monday now, so new excitement is due to begin. However, last week (and I’m not one to dwell on the past, because I believe it’s unhealthy for a forward moving soul,) was AMAZING!

Okay, so…I had a giant audition week, last week. I felt really focused, really happy, truly inspired & well I decided to work really hard (which I actually find pretty easy.)

I was booked on 7 auditions (which is a jolly good amount, after thumb twiddling through the ‘lockdown.’ People who aren’t actors reckon you just kinda read a bunch of words off a page. But that’s not the case at all. It’s a lot of work. A whole lot of emotion. Yet a whole lot of joy! Plus, when there’s 7 different scripts, 7 different characters and 7 different ‘feels,’ it can certainly be a challenge to tinker with!

I ended up ‘booking’ 4 of them!!! What!?! As if!! I’m over the moon. I’m still waiting to hear on one. One that I really want. But they’re all films…because I guess that’s my niche now? It’s actually funny how your niche finds you. I always thought it was the other way around?

Anyway…I’m bubbling over with that kitten ‘joie du vivre.’ (I still always get so excited! I’m like a little girl, trying to embrace a 39 year olds, manner, busy and stance.)

But that’s some cracking results!!!! Haha.

I’m happy. My agents happy. The kids are happy! My mums happy! We’re all happy! It’s almost like a surge of good luck, that has been splodged in joy has overcome us!

Obviously I’ve worked with quite a few people of recent, so away from auditioning I actually had ‘meetings,’ where i thankfully (lol) don’t have to read…and on top of the 4 bookings…I was politely offered 2 feature films. (I be obviously accepted both.)

Eh? It’s just magically nuts! I can’t believe it! How has this happened?

It takes me back to years ago when I was pounding the Hollywood pavement with my headshot in hand and my resume stapled to the back of it. I loved those years. The innocence. The cringeworthy pain of moments. The glint in my eye. The time before lessons were learnt!

I actually still have the same enthusiasm. However, since then life happened. A whole bunch of shit & bad choices happened for years…However luckily that ‘shit’ 100% made me a better actor! 🙂 Both because I wanted to do better for myself and because you can’t cheat life experience…it comes through in your work.

Anyway…alongside all that…The babies, Ruby (she’s currently asleep with Minnie Mouse ears on her head) & Junior, both signed to a tv & film agent, got their little selves on ‘Spotlight,’ did 2 Self Tape auditions immediately after…Booked 1….and are waiting to hear on another that they only did yesterday.

As if!?!

But anyway…enough of the work jargon! On Friday after the wonderous hard work week , around 3pm I got a bad news text. The funny thing is that I was so filled with audition adrenaline, that it ‘hit’ me different. I was kinda too happy, (an emotion that makes us much stronger as humans) to be AT ALL bothered to absorb it.

I acknowledged it. I felt it. But then it bounced off me, after around 15 mins. I figure that’s the way to deal with personal bad news because I felt more positive than I ever had.

It was almost like I had too much ‘good’ going on, for the negative blops to be remotely relevant. That took some learning. Yet everything’s going to be okay! Roll on Oct 20th…(This is a really important date for me.)

What else?

I had a couple days off to chill, so my ‘socials’ were lacking. It didn’t bother me. Life with the babies was far grander, yet I respect my online audience (I hate it when people don’t because it’s the new way of the world,) so during moments of peace, after being out and about, lunching, shopping and loving every minute with my two little bumpkins, I eased into more comfy entire, hit record, danced for 15 seconds and posted on my Tiktok & Insta.

Weirdly my most comfy attire is when I just have bra and knickers on, or nothing but a kimono, joggers and a bikini top…just a bikini. That’s kinda how I chill at home always. So it’s so strange to me when people question my chosen attire for any of my social videos…because if anything I’ve put MORE clothes ON to shoot the dang video!?! Lol

Like yesterday I ran Ruby’s ‘intagalic’ bath in that red lingerie, one piece that I did my Brandy video to. In Wunna land…that is perfectly normal. No-one would even flinch. However I’m noticing that it’s not normal in other households maybe? Haha

I received a random Twitter DM from ‘Dbear.’ It just read ‘Hey you. X’

I didn’t really say much but ’Hope ya well.’ He’s a good guy, yet his world is filled with… I guess…problems. He’ll always be a great friend. I hope he finds his happy place.

Then that dude who was rude to me whilst I was at The Botanist…sent me 2 dms and 3 videos…again trying to apologise.

But I just remember that moment as clear as day. I remember everything he said. The way he reacted and tried to manipulate the situation to his benefit. His insecurity called me a ‘temptress.’ He called me aggressive when I stood up for myself. He tried to play the victim. But good when you’re a grown up. He was an emotional mess. I don’t like people like that.

I mean there was even a point where (hahaha) he had watched a show that I was on. A reality show… Blah. Blah. Blah. Anyway…I was given a scripted line to deliver, that wasn’t true to my actual reality. But it’s a show…I’m actor. So I did my job & delivered the line.

He didn’t know that line was scripted, so had no relevance to my actual real life…But he tried to use it, during our disagreement, in order to manipulate me. In that moment, it was the fact tgar he underestimated my intelligence that pissed me off. Like I’d fall for that?

Don’t because silly!

I ignored all dms, all videos…’Sorry’ doesn’t cut it. People can say ‘Sorry’ until their blue in the face. Realistically it’s just a word.

I’m actually by nature a soft person. So I’m quite laid back. Therefore IF you’ve pissed me off, (and I’m never Pissed off) you have properly done well at offending me.

Cheers!

Luckily straight after his DM’s a Wunna fan voluntarily sent naked pictures of themself to me, whilst holding my picture in their hands… Haha. I must have the most astonishing inbox. Anyway it shone light and giggles on a rather miserable situation. It was like a happy, high kicking ‘can can’ of a finale!

I have the best fans! I love you all. Genuinely! You all make me laugh, be it merry or moderately disturbing! Lol

Then I missed ‘Ry.’ He’s in OKC. (Which is Oklahoma City, Incase your shit at abrievations I’ve moi.) At least Ryan’s sane. He’s almost like a distant breath of fresh air. Imagine still managing to be a breath of fresh air even when ya miles away.

Anyway…

This week, i made a lot of new creative connections this week! It’s been brilliant to cross paths with so many talented people within the industry! I’ve chatted away and loved it! Be they directors, writer, artists….It’s just been phenomenal! I hope to work with them all in the future! It’s such a satisfying buzz! I love that they share the same passions! It’s a dream.

Oh my gosh! Then I came across ‘Charity Shop Sue!’

Tim Chesney (The Director) had posted something lovely about ‘Series of Light.’ I’ve joined the cast for Series 2, so it popped up on my ‘socials.’

This was at around 6.45am yesterday morning. I’m laid in bed in my pants and lilac kimono, with a smart water and 3 boxed Marks & Sparks macaroons on my bed side table.

Then oh my god, all of a sudden, after various finger pokes and scrolls, I find myself watching ‘Charity Shop Sue’ for the first time. (I know, I’m late to this.)

Holy fuck! I watched the whole damn thing. The whole of Series 1, yesterday morning at 7.27am in bed, in my kimono, as the Yorkshire sunshine shine through my window and I was laughing so hard, I was crying!

I haven’t laughed like that’s in ages. I’m obsessed. I’m hooked. I’m delighted. But I’ve watched it all now! Haha.

I mean, that has got to be one of the FUNNIEST shows that my soul has ever absorbed online!

It’s done so well! It’s produced, shot & delivered so perfectly. The talent and the cast are out of this world! The acting was outstanding…and what I could tell from watching the show was the sincere amount of love everyone involved had for it and each other. It shines through. You can feel it.

So obviously being me I had to tell everyone how much I adored it. I posted it everywhere! I followed the cast! I chatted to Director Tim. (We actually had a great chat because once I love something I always feel that I have to congratulate the creators! Lol. I can’t help it.)

He was so sweet, so genuine & well he said that I made his weekend, which always makes me beam! It was like my words meant so much to him!

I sent ‘Charity Shop Sue’ (I mean what a talent…I mean at this point of ‘fan girling’ I want ‘Sue’ to give me a ‘Tuke’ makeover.) I added all the cast I could find & sent them some Twitter love! (Love you Sheree!)

It just made my Sunday complete. I was filled with utter joy & it’s the smallest moments, that lead to other tiny moments, that create a result…that can simply fill your entire world with absolute happiness!

Celebrating life…

Morning everyone. It’s 7.09am, Yorkshire, England. The sun is beaming through my window. I don’t have curtains, so it’s bright! There’s a 0% Heineken bottle on my bedside, that I didn’t bother to drink last night..and Junior’s fast asleep, next to me..in a Bugs Bunny eye mask. One that has gel pads in, to stop his eyes from getting puffy. It has bunny ears sticking out of the top of it. 🙂

( I live for Junior’s quirkiness. He’s the cutest little human alive. We get on so so well & he’s just the light of our little lives. When it comes to Ruby, I breathe for her creativity, that she exudes in a somewhat regal, Queen like demeanour…Yet it’s mixed with a bump of down to earth, dirty, barefooted rawness. She’s just like me.)

I’m still laid in bed, but I’ve been up a good hour, just scrolling through my Insta & twitter feed. I stalked appropriate profiles (like ya do…We all have our ‘go to’s.) Then I read that Michelle Obama said something beautiful, about disgusting Harvey Weinstein back in 2013 & it’s now being used against her…(In 2013 she wouldn’t have known he was a massive rapist.) I also then read all the controversy about the new Netflix film ‘Cuties’ (which I need to watch, before I comment on.) How a story is told is so important & there’s so many people who haven’t watched it, who are saying a lot about it? I don’t know how? However, I do get both sides of the argument.

I also saw that a guy named ‘Silly Sam’ on my Twitter sent me £25 to treat myself to coffee & cake, to thank me for making him smile with my posts. He sent it to my PayPal email address and I don’t know why, but the thoughtfulness behind it, just made me smile? The simplest things. I thought it was really cute and it was actually delivered with such beautiful grace.

So thank you, Sir! I appreciate the love!

I have a chilled day today because i’ve smashed out all my auditions. Hopefully I’ll hear some good results shortly and if I’m being honest, I just kinda want to enjoy life, enjoy my day…after working really hard over the last couple weeks.

As I posted yesterday on my insta story…Life is so incredibly short and I never want anyone to forget that or take it for granted. We may not get another birthday, another day and as far as I’m concerned we need to celebrate every single moment we have and without creating those little boundaries of insecurity, that we have.

It’s so important to life & love and ONLY DO the things that fill your soul with light. The things that make you happy. Truly happy.

I try to make and create as many memories as I can because they are literally ALL i’ll be left with. I’m grateful for the good times…and I know everyone always says the bad times make you stronger (and they do,) but god they feel like absolute shit, when you’re living them, so I hate them. Haha.

My greatest feeling in the world is love. When you get that rush of absolute happiness. A physical reaction based upon an internal glow.

My worst feeling in the world is heartbreak. I struggle very much when I feel it. I guard myself from feeling it now because it effects everything! I mean ‘safety first.’

I’ll always walk with my head held high and with a giant smile on my face pubically…But behind closed doors… if I’m sad, i’ll just sit at home and cry for days…and I mean proper ‘snot running down my arm’ crying. Haha.

Ruby: ‘You’re cute when you cry because you look like a pig.’

I don’t know what’s gonna happen today. It’s now 7.52am. (That dude that shouted at me over the table at The Botanist has just insta dmmed me saying that he misses saying ‘hi’ to me? I’ve just ignored it. I cba.)

Have the most wonderful day.

I just wanna get mine started!

I love you so much,

Chrissie x