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Techy not me


What a ball ache!!!

OMG! I have ended up having the single most stressful day of comedic insanity EVER!

This business call that I’ve been needing to get on with, with Zach in America (who’s sorting out my business plan for my beauty line) just took a U’ey and flipped the middle finger at me today.

My ipad, decided to continue not to appropriately connect to my wifi and the microphone on my laptop decided not to work, meaning poor Zach could only see me via video chat, yet could not at all HEAR ME. Some may say that he was fortunate :) Yet, i’m sure by now, like myself, he is oozed over in STRESS. Lol.

We just have tried every form on techy communication and i just couldn’t get anything to work at all. In the end i had to poor myself a Caribbean rum simply to care my anger. :)  I mean, what he has to say MUST be important, as he truly does need to speak to me and can’t message it over. Plus, it’s about the operations of the company…which of course is HUGE.

I did that thing where you’re typing like it’s crazy, but your laughing, when really your getting frustrated and your fuming with yourself. :) (See, i did it there.)

In the end, it didn’t get done and now we’ll have to wait until my next free day, as i’m back to ‘day job’ tomorrow.

Before my washing machine got delivered, i ended up having to drink, eat chocolate, wallow around junk food and watch shit Channel  five day time movies to make myself feel better. The movies was about some chick losing her mind, The rubbishness of it got to me big time, so i had to flip it over to ‘Jeremy Kyle’ which seemed calm in comparison.

Anytime your business man, who is the brains says, ‘It’s a good job Chrissie Wunna Ltd, isn’t a technology company,’ you know you need to hire help.

My new washing machine scares me. It’s sort of just stood there, all installed and glaring at me, with a ‘use me bitch,’ I daren’t use new things when i don’t know how they work??? New things terrify me. But I do know the best way is to get stuck in and deal with the ‘wrongs’ later.

Okay, i’m off to chill..the babies are home with my parents and a gin.

Back to work tomorrow.

You all better buy my lashes when they venture out…i’m knackered from trying. :)



Getting it together much



A mad, techy morning of dramedy! JESUS!

Now, if things don’t work the way they’re supposed to, i usually don’t care too much, as my inner ‘laid backidness’ is able to shrug it off with a ‘yeah baby’ and a smile. However, (and this is probably the same for everyone) when it comes to business, something you care about, or even someone you care about…and a spanner decides to present itself, fast flinging into ‘your works’…it kinda narks you off, doesn’t it? I AM OFFICIALLY NARKED OFF and today’s little bit of narkiness is TECHNOLOGY.

Firstly, my ipad that i placed on charge all night…didn’t bother to charge. (Yes, i checked that I had the mains on and that all wires were aptly plugged.) It simply decided that it didn’t want to charge, yet tell me that it was. FFS. I finally fixed the problem by purchasing a new ‘none dud’ charger, which has actually worked (hurrah)…as I have an important Skype call with the business gent in America for my beauty line…and because my ipad had to get reset, i had to sign back into every bit of social media that am a part of. Easy Peasy. Apparently, forgot my Skype password…couldn’t get it open…thought i had about 10 minutes until my important call, so i had to set up an entire new account, which i did TWICE by accident…simply so i could partake in my call.

All stressy, (even though i finally got a moment to myself,) I needed coffee (i mean gin) and then just like that i read through my inbox and delightfully find a message which pushed back my morning Skype call to 1pm. YAY! This is a good thing, as i can’t do calls well, when stressed. THE GODS LOVE ME and no matter what, i ALWAYS get pulled out of misery with a wink.

Now, i have a new working account, all systems a go go…the correct people added, time to blog and do more research and a call at 1pm. Yeah baby! :) I am the luckiest fucker in town. (If you don’t like swearing, just change that word to ‘idiot.’)

The babies are doing fine. Both chilling at nursery as I work. Junior is growing up fast and trying to chat at me. Ruby is my diva. One look…and you’ll turn to ice, if you cross her. Lovely though, just craving to be a happy, WHOLE family. Both attention seekers. Both ace. Both tried to smuggle things into nursery this morning. They’re like baby prison ‘go betweens.’ lol No wonder they’re so popular. I always thought it was because i was fabulous ;) and that they went all the time. But no…it’s because they nick things from home and smuggle them into nursery for others to treat on.

Last night, i decided to buy faux deer antlers for my living room. Got them this morning and now i don’t like them. I wanted big giant ones and i’ve got little, yet super heavy’ deery ones. They’re smaller than I realized they would be and the heaviest things on earth. Like I am literally terrified to plonk them up, incase they aren’t up firmly enough and one of them falls onto the children and ‘boinks’ them out cold. :( I need giant lightweight, fun ones. But all’s not lost, i’m sure i’ll come up with something…shortly.

Everything today is at weird times. I can’t schedule around freely, as i have private work calls and deliveries all intertwined, which is making my ‘lunch with a matey’ much harder to fit in. I have a delivery at 3.30pm…and a call at 1pm…so this is pretty much the only time that I have available. Unless my delivery comes early and then i’m free from 3.30pm onwards, as my mum can shimmie up to do the nursery run.

I’ve got a new logo for my brand and i’m excited about starting it all. I’m starting part time beauty school, to fit around day job, babies, business and well…life and i’m happy. Still eating like a pig on heat…but happy.

I feel like i’m going places now and like i’m actually getting there, It’s sort of always harder for women as when you wish for success and careers, yet you also wish to become ‘Mummy’ and wife..it’s really hard on you, as your balloon of ambition is forced to fizzle for a while, as you do pregnancy, birth children, nurture them, love them, take care of house, husband and home, whilst plonking YOUR dreams on hold for a while. Especially if you’re having to do it ON YOUR OWN. It’s second nature to us women, so i’m not complaining, as all mums I know, including myself …ADORE being mums and m children adore me for it.

Yet,  i’m a kitten filled with ambition and now that the babies are a little more self sufficient, i’m happy that i’m not able to get back on track and rocket forward, for THEIR future, as well as for mine.. I’m in a really great place and i’m doing really really well. Meaning if I get to achieve all of this…then there’s no excuses..YOU can do it too.

I really do need coffee now.

Ciao x



‘Sc’ is for Schedule


I’ve spent part of my morning hilariously watching Ruby ride round and around on a horsey carousel continually and until she had decided that I had used an adequate amount of my change (£2 a go, I’m not even gonna bother doing the ‘they don’t make things like they used to..it used ot only cost me 20p’ yadda, as it annoys me when people say it. TIMES HAVE CHANGED….THE SMART PEOPLE STAY GROUNDED BUT FLOW WITH WHAT’S GOING ON NOW…) But yeash, she likes me to spend all my changeon this certain bit of past time that she enjoys. I don’t blame her really, as Gay Adam and I once went out in Romford and well I have no clue how, or why, but I just come off the Paris Hilton reality show, we were drunk and we were both sat on a baby sized carousel at 2am…spinning round and around and simply for kicks. I quite liked it during that hour, so i’m sure it’s a blast for my loin fruit.

I’ve done a bit of decorating, cleaning…i’ve organized life and i’m enjoying my days off. I LOVE MY DAYS OFF. It makes me appreciate my work days. I’m looking to enter beauty school (part time) and I actually have LOTS of work to do today.

I’ve made the executive decision that my eyelash line is going to be the bomb diggy…so i have to work hard at it. Christmas will come sooner than I think, so i’m today i’m ‘deadlining’ myself with goals, but only because I work better that way. I’m weirdly obedient when there are rules to obey, about something i care about. Be it a passion, a topic, or a boy. If i don’t give a hoot, a shit, a sausage..i’ll just shrug it off, rebel and do what I want anyhow. Life is too short and I hate it when people who take things that don’t matter, FAR TOO SERIOUSLY. I enjoy guidance. I enjoy having successors or those I can learn from. I even enjoy my psychic and not because I NEED to know my future and live every second by it…i’m not that way inclined, naturally, as I’ll just believe what I want. :) I just adore guidance on all levels…including spiritual. I’ve got all realms covered. :) Saying that EVERYTHING SHE HAS EVER TOLD ME…has come true.

How are you today? I never ask you that and i should. Sorry.

But yeah, back to me…i missed my Skype conference call because I forgot to charge my ipad, meaning it was dead when i needed to use it. I’m shit like that. It’ll be fine though, as i’m about to email Zach now to sort it all out, as my ipad chills on ‘charge.’ (I never blog on my ipad, as i MUST MUST use my little pink notebook.)

Goals are being set, deadlines are being hit and business/operation plans organised. I’m rocking a day job. Loving it. Being a Mum and excelling at it. :) I’m on route to being a success, after a really rubbish start to the year!

I also got told i was a great package today by an LA guy friend. The good thing about me is that i’m a little bit of everything and that’s not easy to come by and I know it’s not because i can never find it in a boy. I have done twice…but never any more times than that and well you think of the number of boys i’ve dated. SHIT LOADS.

Like i said, with me…it’ shard for new boys to shuffle on it with a ‘whiz’ and a twirl, because i have very minimal time to get to know them and adore them and if they can’t just slot in naturally…then we have a problem. Technically it would mean that there’s not enough time for room for new and probably because life is good. I’m a busy girl right now and i’ve never been happier.

I WILL SAY…on the fashion front, whilst i sauntered around Doncaster (the town that birthed me )this morning. I’m LOVING the Autumn trends this month AND extremely loving the micro mini, with jumper look!! We all know i ADORE a micro mini and do it all through the winter with boots. (If you can’t do boobs, do legs.) So, i’m excited to get purchasing and topping up my fall wardrobe with mini things, that are oddly snuggly.

Everything in my life seems to be about scheduling right now. Along with life, mummy hood, beauty line, day job, love and whatever else that bundles Wunna land…the little things like washing machine deliveries, and a social life have to get knobbled in. I have a 2pm lunch tomorrow with a friend and well it should be dandy…once i fit it in appropriately.

I’m eating like a pig right now, meaning my ‘time of the month’ must be on it’s way. Yipppeee. (When you PULL OVER to simply eat a custard doughnut, you’re on  SLIPPERY SLOPE. I performed this ‘almost’  period ritual twice.) I’m thoroughly MISSING waking up in the beautiful forest woodlands. I really fancied it this morning and well it’s awful to hear that your babies miss it just as much as you do. It’s the first thing Ruby will mention and the last thing she talks about before bed. GET ME TO THE FOREST. When i’m super rich, i’m buying forestry and building my own luxury cabin..so i can retreat whenever i feel like it. I might even add a spa. Lol. (Which reminds me, i haven’t checked my lottery tickets yet.)

I’m excited to be covering events. I love doing it and well i enjoy all things beauty and fashion. I do all events though, so as long as I can fit it in…and it’s something that i’d enjoy…i’ll pop over. Holla!

The next thing i’m covering is THE OLYMPIA BEAUTY SHOW, for it’s 10 year anniversary. I really can’t wait and having a press pass delights me more than ever!! I know my treatments and all things beautilicious…so i’ll have my eye out for the best of the best. I really can’t wait.

Other than that…i’m having a vino.

Enjoy today.

Signing off..

Wunna land x



Love you longtime?


Asked for help to find a last minute salon in the town of Pontefract, that would massage my achey joints, back to good health and what I got…(aside from school friend Kate, who was actually helpful, during this process) was ‘Brummers’ informing me that he knows where I could get a tattoo???? (That’s like him asking a friend’s list for a place to fix his car and ME responding with a ‘Well…i know where you can get a quite pedicure!’ BOYS!!! Plus, i’m over tattoos right now due to the names of the opposite sex and poor judgement. :) ) Then Wazza…rolls in with a suggestion…that I KNOW would be comical, perverted or both…before I even decided to click on the link. And what a surprise…it was an EROTIC massage joint and not even one that celebrates slutty girls from the orient either!! A Ponty one…where your old school friends make extra squids by rubbing down parts of your anatomy that (when you’re a girl) can’t be arsed with having rubbed before noon. (‘I’ve got a headache.’) I’m not even going to bother typing the link…as then it’ll get linked to my blog and all will got tits up, as everyone starts thinking i’m some kind of random ‘mail order bride’ escort.  (Hahaha…I enjoy that I won’t type a simple link, that doesn’t even mention anything porny..yet i’ll type ‘mail order bride escort.’ I really don’t do myself any favours. But yes, Hannah…Wazza’s wife to be (i feel her pain) informed me that a lesbian ‘happy ending’  massage, wouldn’t even allow me to go until Friday anyhow, meaning i’d have to wait a day. Mucky massage or not…i’m a ‘now’ girl. I hate waiting for anything. If i want my hair done…or anything done…i’ll NEVER book it in advance. I’ll always just show up, with a smile and a very annoying voice and shout, ‘You’ll do my hair today??’ Then i’ll go for the first person to say ‘YES.’ (I’m currently snacking on cheese, crackers and a mojito. Odd combination…but works. Mojitos taste like pop to me. )

So what we learn today Ladies, is that when we need members of the other species to be HELPFUL, we NEVER EVER ask a boy named’ DANIEL.’ That is the only thing ‘Wazza’ and ‘Brummers’ have in common. ‘DANIEL’ as a forename. Or maybe all ‘Daniels’ are pervs? I don’t know? If so, that’s okay, as Danny O from TOWIE can perv on me, any hour he wishes…and not even for fifty dollars. :) (See, i can make that joke, simply because I’m Asian. ;) )

On the drive back from trying to purchase a working vacuum…. Mine’s gone ‘Kaplunk’ and because Pete gave me it for free. Anything that isn’t diamonds, that is given to you for free…will go ‘kaplunk.’ (Men being useful again. ‘Oh here’s a non working hoover for ya!’ :) )

But yeah, I was reading my massage, status stream,whilst driving and also whilst having either some undercover cop car blue light flashing next to me…NEXT TO ME, not AT ME…(Some poor idiot in front probably got caught reading their text before me :) ) or some random disco driver…on pills? Who knows these days? Everyone seems to be on edge these days and trying to grasp any bit of escapism they can fine. Sort of annoying because right now in life, i’ve got my shit together, meaning it’s harder for me to watch other people swirl down the plug hole, as i’ve swirled their myself. HOWEVER, i plonked back up with a laugh, smile, boobies and victory champagne in my arms, didn’t I! So, now that I know, I did…i hard heartedly expect everyone else to be able to doit also. :)

Ended up getting a vacuum…some lip gloss, a sandwich, home decor, beauty products….children’s clothes…a coat….baby bottles…everything you could imagine…and a flipping WASHING MACHINE! I KNOW! What a loser! I now laugh at how losery i’ve turned. Treat myself to cocktails? No, i’ll treat myself to Hotpoint, large drum washing machines. FFS. Saying that, I must’ve treated myself to cocktails, as i have a mojito right here, don’t i? How weird, that I forgot? Maybe the luxury of glamour pussing is so second nature to me, that it absolutely my norm, whereas a life of domesticity…just isn’t. :) I work really hard and could absolutely be a house wife once i’ve achieved my lofty goals…yet i could only be one like the chicks off ‘Real Housewives..’ and not an actual proper Yorkshire bred, ‘scrub your gussets’ homegirl. :) I’d DIE! We all know, i’m an ace wife anyway…with all my husbands and all that. ;) Keiran was the only one that I actually physically cooked and cleaned for…and look at him…strapping young gent…(who had to run away via text and heal the emotional pain of being married to me. ‘She made me ill.’ Lol.) But on the love front i feel like i’m lucky enough to not have to rely on any domestic skills in order to snag ‘love.’ The suitors venture forward with ease…yet picking carefully and correctly is what i efficiently need to focus on.

At least I have a new hoover now..and a washing machine by Friday. I have three days off work, so i’m happy.

I’ve got a beauty line Skype conference call to get ready for…so i’m gonna go prep. (My eyelashes are going to be awesome…and simply because i’ve jigsawed the whole operation together, whilst drinking cocktails in a can.)

A Snazzy bit of Junction 32


OH my gosh!!! I cannot even BEGIN to tell you how utterly pleased I am that a new beauty outlet…actually named the ‘Beauty Outlet’ lol has opened at Junction 32, Castleford. I’ve been willing some kind of beauty store to magically appear out of nowhere, as stores of such simply comfort me and excite me when i’m tottering out for a casual shop. It sort of snook up on me, with a sexy wink and KAPOW, there is was! Wunna was happen and well even though my son was miserable all the way through my beauty outlet ponder…i was filled with excitement and joy!

Incase you didn’t know, I adore all types and brands of beauty. Be they the old classics, the high ends, the commercial lines, the fun brands and what I call ‘the cheapies.’ I get excited to see them all perfectly shelved, so i can purchase pretty much everything and give each one a go. I sample makeup, like I used to do men. Yet a good bronzer never makes me cry, it delights like no other. :) But yes, I love that someone’s finally opened some kind of ‘beauty’ at the outdoor outlet mall/shopping centre. It needed one. Plus, I enjoy how they’ve dolled it up. I love the brightness of the store…the bright white and pink, sort of Cosmo gleam. I didn’t really have too much time today, due to my loin fruit demanding chocolate buttons. So, i will venture in again on my next day off and let ‘all things beauty’ flirt with me a little and woo me like a gentleman. I am literally turned on by makeup. :) I swear i was a drag queen in a former existence.

Then…as the weather continued to be shit. (I don’t get why the weather is being so shit in Ponty. In the woods, the weather was delightful?) But yes, another thing that I adore at Junction 32…(the shopping centre that is)…is the newly refurbished STARBUCKS! How glammy! It’s sort of masculine, with an old school, coffee shop, classic and classy, modern day twist? It’s the sort of place that i’d go to blog in, with a caramel latter by my side. It’s moody, dark, but light and cosy. I’m actually impressed by how well that place is developing. Yorkshire…is literally turning into the bomb diggy. I like it as you can sort of get city life, without the bustle of the city…but turn a corner and be lost in the beauty of countryside. ;) It’s a bit of everything…that’s why I loved LA..it’s a bit of everything and not a concrete jungle like New York…a place, I sort of detest. But i was homeless in New York, so that’s probably why. :)

So, i’ve got work tomorrow. I’m not happy abut it one bit. But once i’m there i’ll be fine. :) I’m like a mardy school girl, who doesn’t want to go to class, but has to. But whatever, i’m keeping my eye on the prize and working hard to accumulate. Once that is sorted…i’ll be able to set up life the way I imagine it should be. But yes, we’ll see how tomorrow goes.

On the whole, life is good, the babies are fine, i’m happy and i have a ginger beer.

Hope your Monday isn’t so bad…

Love you lots.

Wunna x

j32 j32a




Have it all!


Wishing you a happy ‘Easy like’ Sunday morning!

Sorry, i didn’t blog last night. I shopped all day and was so shocked at how phenomenally well behaved my children were that I congratulated them with extra adoration all evening, as I slipped into ‘super chill’ mode. This morning they’ve been terrors, yet i blame my poor disciplinary skills. I’m rubbish at being hard on them because when you’re a glamour puss, who’s been through a great deal and can still laugh it off, you kinda want to cut folk some slack. :)

It’s just dawned on me that tomorrow morning, i’ll be plonking on my suit of ‘day job’ armour and having to go back to work. UGH! Fair enough…it had to happen, but when you’ve enjoyed 2 weeks off of absolutely peace and boasted about it, to make everyone ‘having to go to work’ feel shitty.you kinda pull faces and whop your ‘ho hum’ arm out and get to it. I’m sure it’ll be fine. It’s just the thought of hitting ‘restart’ that drives me insane.

I’ve hit ‘restart’ a lot in 2014. Lol. It’s always been bad, so i’m far more nervous to ‘hit’ it again and again, as the months go by during this year. I’m ballsy, so i do it anyway, but i can feel my sense of nerves, which is something that I never ever used to feel. :)

Luckily, I saw my psychic yesterday…a really great one and my future is bright, positive and filled with excitement. I’m apparently a ‘challenge’ type of girl, who didn’t’ sign up for a life of boredom, as it’s just not who i naturally am. I seek a challenge, i work tooth and nail to get what i want and where I want to be….then once complete (as I do usually get there in the end) …i find the next life challenge and recovery really easily from anything dodgy that occurs. I’m good like that. HURRAH! Wine for everyone…but you?

I do like to push myself, yet when it comes to love, I don’ t like a challenge now that i’m old and i know a great deal more about men. It’s the ‘boys’ that get to the game of love and the MEN, who take you on in a whirlwind of true love and romance and make you feel alive again. That (to me) is what being a man in love is. I know what i love, who i love, why I love…and everything inbetween. I’m not a dafty. I’ ve learnt along the way. But i do want to remind you that I’ve also learnt that romance is ‘t just roses and champagne…It isn’t an allowance, or ‘take a dip in my wallet babe.’ It isn’t ‘just talk’ it’s an action. But none of that means anything, if it isn’t dipped in true love, that beams from not just someone’s heart, but their soul. And could you really go through life doing ‘pretend’ love? No. True love is being able to let life throw shit at you and when all’s said and done finding that you’re still able to grow from it together and master ‘forever’ with a smile.

I’m now completely missing the forest and need to book it again immediately. YOU all really do need to go, simply because it accidentally becomes your happy place, as it keeps everything simple and reminds you to relax, appreciate love, life, beauty and what matters. I’ve seen and experienced a lot in my life and that little woods is currently my perfect place on the planet. It sort of makes me proud of myself because I didn’t grow up to be some superficial, tagged out, horror of a girl…I actual grew into a decent, wise old,  human being. I know…i’m shocked too! :) FUCK YEAH!!! :) :)

Today, i’m lunching and chilling with my family. It’s windy, it’s annoying…as it makes my eyelashes flutter without my consent. I’m making changes and i’m enjoying the peace of still that I have now, as apparently in a month and half, things won’t be so peaceful…however i’ve been assured that it is VERY GOOD excitement and THANK THE LORD for it!!!

Opportunities are on the rise and i’m happy, at the same time as looking for more. I’m trying to chill, but my mind is busy and i’m rubbish at selling myself short…which is a good thing, in my book. ;)

There’s stuff in this world for me that i’m ready to conquer, so i’m reaching for the stars and going for it big time now.

I’m a girl that’s telling you that in life you can HAVE IT ALL. You just have to yeah believe it, but stay focused enough to DO IT.




I’m back.


Right, my sexy bits of doo dah! I’m BACK, from the most WONDERFUL time EVER, in the forest. I’m feeling delicious, relaxed and oozed through ;) with a happy, whole, gungy glow of champagne contentment. GOD, i love that place and well I usually go through some MASSIVE ‘back from my forest holiday’ comedown, to the point where i’ll actually be literally depressed for a month afterward. Lol. However…the babies are currently going through it instead…especially Ruby. And I don’t say it like it’s a good thing, as it’s shitty to see your loin fruit depressed. Yet, it’s great that she enjoyed the holiday SO SO MUCH. BUT it’s more of a case of the fact that if I actually see the people I care about remotely sad, I automatically turn soldier strong and quit the tears for hero strength.

I had an amazing time and it was great to get my tradition back in full swing. Starting work on Monday is ging to be shit. It already feels rubbish. But a girls godda do what a girls godda do? Maybe i’ll  win tonight’s lottery and get to spaz my winnings on lip gloss…or maybe come Monday..all will turn ‘back to normal.’ A state which actually can’t be as bad as it used to be, as the last time i came back from the woods, I was SO depressed because i clung onto the happiness that the forest gave me, because I was going through all that marriage breakdown drama and heart ache. I was a messy version of myself…but i still looked cute! (Your union jack bikini comments have made my already massive ego GIANT sized.) Anyway.. this time…i’m okay. So life must be secretly great! PLUS, i had a forest surprise…and well i guess i counted on hero and got what I counted for….OR (like I Facebooked) just wore the right bikini. ;) You know it sister!

Anyway, i do have to dash, as I have work to catch up on, shopping to treat the babies to…lunches and dinners. I do have a great dela more stuff to report…but right now…it’s dash time.

Talk to you later.

Just checking in…before tonight’s blog.

I’m back and now believe that really only great things happen in hot tubs!

A Wedding Bell Rewind


Okay, i’ve only plonked this picture up because you love it.

My favourite it actually this one…


But obviously there’s a hand infront of my face….lol…which is a massive cameraman ERROR. (You can’t win’em all. But whatever, i’m two babies own and i still can rock a hot tub body. ;) )

Okay..i’m currently in the forest. (You know that anyhow) and well for the ones of you that don’t know or don’t have me as a matey on Facebook…today is actually my wedding anniversary. I’m SINGLE on my actual wedding anniversary. That’s how ace a wife I was. Don’t worry, i’ve had wine, so i’m not a weeping wreck. (I’m a happy drunk. I’m never that sad after a tipple. Backwards, I know, to say that two years ago today I was celebrating life with my brand new husband, i was about to fall pregnant and I thought my life would be perfect forever! I was SO in love, it was crazy.) I’ve already had my FB moan…and done the whole ‘i’m like a budget Geri Halliwell’ thing. Not because I think i’m a Spice Girl..that was me in the 90s. But because of the whole Union Jack thing. I admit, it’a bit less ‘Girl Power’ than Geri herself…yet it’s a whole lot more whorey…so do i win?




But yeah, time flies and it’s so bizarre. I really can’t stand it. I mean, the forest is divine and i’m lucky to have the children and such a great support system in order to keep me balanced. (EVERYONE needs a support system or something to live for and I’m been so so SO sad about the passing of Robin Williams, that my heart has literally ached for everything. It really has pinpointed what life is about to me. What an amazing man, actor and just basic human being, who made such an impact on all of our lives, that we all truly feel that a piece of us, or our childhood has been taken against our will. He was a guy that made everyone smile, laugh and feel happy for a living, yet deep inside he felt alone, sad and well…depressed. My heart goes out to his family. What a tragically heartbreaking loss. So bad, that it sort of made my moaning about my wedding anniversary seem trivial in comparison…which was a GOOD THING.)


RIP Robin. :( :( :(

Today was actually a great day, to say it was swirled in ‘could be bad if i chose it to be.’ Lol. I woke up to the sun beaming through the forest trees, feeling refreshed and adored by my little family. I was glowing. I’m happy here. Always happy. This place is so peaceful and reminds you of the things that matter in life that it truly is such a wonderful time. To me, it’s luxury in it’s SIMPLIEST FORM and the thing that people usually forget to do in life, other than relax, love and enjoy…is to keep it simple. We went on a morning forest walk…where Ruby decided to be the most excited little girl on the planet. Then I made a giant lunch, we hot tubbed and relaxed as I plonked on movies and sipped vino out of love. (The babies are fast asleep right now and today I have never ever seen them happier, in my entire life. When you’re ‘Mama’…that alone fills you with joy and i don’t mean that to sound cheesey. I honestly just MEAN that. It’s amazing. And that’s why I always say that in life, you always always need something or someone to love and live for. It makes life worth it.)

I can’t believe that i was getting married two years ago today. It’s so sad that it all came to an end. :( I mean, it’s been a year of separation and time is the greatest healer, yet it doesn’t stop the days…like today…’the anniversary’…..from being important. It doesn’t stop you from going back in time and rethinking everything through. I’ve done the ‘what if’s’ and the ‘if only’s’ already…and i think a little part of me just wishes that something heroic and magical will happen…that he’ll do something amazing to put back the pieces, celotape the memories back together and take it step by step from there. That’s a normal feeling. But we haven’t contacted each other about our anniversary today… at all. Crazy innit! I feel like I didn’t get married and start a family to become separated and have the family broken down. I wanted togetherness…


the great thing about it all is that I survived the worst break up ever and i did it with dignity, looked after my babies, worked hard and managed to get back on track WITHOUT swirling down thw plug hole…not one bit! I was SUPER STRONG and I championed it and i only championed it because i had the CHILDREN. (The something to live for.) PLUS, i have an amazing family, especially MUM and a stream of wonderful friends. I had all the love support in the world, which got me through a time that could’ve been much much tougher.

I guess, in life…and you’ve all heard this before…when bad things happen to you…it’s not the badness of the things that happen that matter…yet the number of times you can get back up..with a goddamn smile and great hair… that make you ACE. It’s your bounce back ability and if i have anything…i have that. THIS BITCH IS A FIGHTER.

So feel strong…do things that make you happy. Love the people you’re meant o love and keep life simple. Understand life and what it’s about. See the big picture. Don’t waste your time. LOVE. Go to the forest in Union Jack bikini’s an hot tub. ;) (You all loved it much.) And most of all…be happy in the skin you’re in. Once you are…you can and will conquer the world!

Today….regardless….i’m happy and i’m happy because i managed to focus on the great things i have going on in my life, rather than the bad things that have happened to me. PLUS, today isn’t a bad day at all, because remember….this time two years ago…i was about to fall pregnant!!! :)

I’ll cheers to that!

Wunna x

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Slow Forest Flash Backing Much


I’m HERE and i’m SO utterly happy! The first night is usually always a wee bit strange because you’re just getting situated. But as soon as I arrived on forest soil…Ruby raced around the fields, the woods, in the earthy wooden play areas, singing, dancing and teaching her brother the ropes.

We checked in early and the sun was BEAMING down. It was definite BBQ weather, but we didn’t BBQ, simply because Mama Wunna (yep ME) cooked a giant bol, after a yummy dip in the open air, private hot tub.

It took Rubes about 3 seconds to run into the cabin, IMMEDIATELY slip into a flamingo swim suit, force me to get the hot tub running…and jump in! That girl is a diva and well she knows what she likes and it’s certainly luxury. I swear she’s like a teenager. THEN obviously the other half of her tag team, Junior, got overly excited by the bubbly, jubbly, hot tub idea and within 3 minutes, I was forced to perform an updo, plonk on a cozy, get Junior ready for his first ever hot tub, bubble over…and enjoy!


We’re loving it here and well so far the weather has been divine. Nothing is better than cuddling up to your family, in hot tub bubbles, under an array for tall pine trees, in the depths of the forest…with all my face done :) ( I don’t even care, I looked amazing…yeah..yeah Glamour Puss. Don’t tut…it’s one of my good points boys…i always tend to the art of GLAM ;) ) and today… with a rubber ducky.

Everyone was pretty shattered after a woodland dip…and giant spag bol and a play in the woods. I spied on other cabins because I could smell late night barbecuing. It’s awesome at night because the air is so fresh, so much fresher than the air you’re breathing in right now and you’re surrounded my lush, juicy leafy freshness. You kinda see nothing at night, but the lights from distance cabins, in your surrounding area. IT’S AMAZING and really reminds you of the fact that you’re away from the drama of the world. Plus, i have no service/signal on my phone…making it much easier to feel free and uncontactable. :)

This is a pic from my moments of ‘stalk’ when it was turning from day to night.



Obviously the babies are super worn out and already in bed, so i’m treating myself to wine..and maybe a night time Port. (I love a Port on a night time. I’m like a Grandad.) But as I was tucking Ruby into her bed, (who was filled with utterly tiredness, simply from the art of ‘happy,) I flashbacked..well i say ‘flash’ but I didn’t ‘flash’…it went much slower than a ‘flash,’…it sort of breezed through my mind and stayed, as I laid next to Rubes in the dark, watching her sleep.

Sooo…this time two years ago, it was the day before i was going to get married. I was SO in love and we were both sat on the bed, in my ‘before getting married’ suite at Oulton Hall, (we had been booked two separate rooms, yet at the time there was no way Keiran would be able to sleep 4 hotel doors away from me and not try and jump in my bed.) Anyway, he sent me champagne…AS I was calling room service to send him champagne and when it came, he came with it…(that sounds rude)…but as I opened the door, there he was…the day before we were about to get hitched. We sat on the bed, before meeting friends downstairs for drinks…(it ended up being a great night of getting pissed with friends) and well we watched Mo Farrah win races, with his :0 face! :)

Life is so weird. I mean, I didn’t know that I’d also be falling pregnant the following night…on a giant four poster bed, after being sick on my cooked breakfast. :)

I mean the following year, which would be last year, we revisited Oulton hall and he surprised me with adoration, and all that i’ve told you of in an earlier blog.

This year…i’m with my babies doing life, in the forest..and i guess celebrating the ‘bringing in the conception’ of wedding night baby hood.

I don’t like thinking in the dark. I’ve moved into the living room to blog and turned ALL the lights on. Lol :)

‘GI JOE’ is on my telly. I feel a million miles away from you all. I’m in pyjamas, cute ones, with booty shorts that have fries on the front, with knee high school girl socks. (I crept out to get my laptop from my car earlier and a posh family walked by with torches. I was wearing my stupid pj’s and well they sort of flickered the torch on me like i was some kind of rare forest species. I smiled. I waved. Then I got the fuck back inside. :)

Now it’s time for wine…

Love you!

Can’t wait to venture out into the woods tomorrow. x


Rushy, Rushy, Forest Pack


So, although i ventured to the supermarket yesterday to buy all goods needed for my trip to the forest…today I got all insecure and decided that I hadn’t purchased enough food and rushed around the isles one more time for kicks. BAD IDEA! The first time around I spent enough as it was (and i’m extremely tight when it comes to grocery shopping. I hate doing it because I only like to spend my money, if i have to ;) on luxury or things that mean something to me. I’m not a massive eater…so food is like ‘blah’ unless i’m in a restaurant and it’s already cooked for me to eat!) Well, i say ‘tight’ but i’m as tight as a horny call girl…as i end up spending the full whack..i just feel bitter about it afterwards. Lol. The bad thing about it, is that the food isn’t just for me, it’s for others…like my family LOL, which must mean i’m a bad person and mildy selfish still at the age of 33. HAHA.

Ran around one more time…bumped into Alice, the best child carer ever, (she has helped raised both my babies…now she has her own beautiful daughter, who Ruby is very jealous of ‘Mum, why has she got Dempsy?’) Anyway, spent another arm and a leg and well when you get to the arm and leg stage of spending, you just go with it don’t you..you go to town and bring our the banners and purchase all kinds of shit for the sake of. HAHAH. It’s times like this when i wish i won the lottery like brief banter, online Buddy Matt Myles, who won the Euromillions. When I love something, i don’t mind spending to the ends of the earth and back…but when it’s bits of lettuce, bread and whatever else i needed…oh yeah eggs…it sucks.

I’ve completely packed the car up and i’m really proud of myself as i’d never usually do that. I felt like a proper MUM today because i did it all myself. I’ve over packed and over bought, but i’m laughing about it now, as whatever…at least I can. ;) I’ve bought food to feed 8000 people and prepared clothes for at least 42 families. Lol. I don’t care though, it’s what life is about!

I’m about to have a quick snack. I’m happy that my phone won’t work as well, as the ‘drama’ boys can’t annoy me with ‘yadda…yadda.’

I’ll brief you once i’m situated in the woods…in the cabin..with my family…

and well…stay tuned.

Thank you for reading my blog. It’s going to get juicy… x

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