Off to Hatfield Dental

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So today I have FINALLY managed to get my kitty booty to one of the nation’s absolute best dental specialists, Afsar Hussain, at Hatfield Dental Care in Doncaster, where in which I will be getting my little teeth whitened (and properly, as gosh the dosh we all spend of the instant whitening fixes ends up racking up to huge’not worth it’ amounts. This time i’ve headed for quality, because like with anything in life…it is soooo much more fulfilling.)

PLUS, for the first time ever…and because i’m jiggly smack bang in the middle of my thirties, tipping over the edge to the wrong side of that decade, when my December birthday comes, today…I am going to go through my first BOTOX experience. I’ve never had it before, but so many people i know have and to be quite frank…they look great.

I’m not nervous, I’m really excited and because i’m in the best of hands. Afsar is literally amazing at what he does. I trust him and I he’s amongst many of the great dental experts. He’s up there with them constantly honing his craft. I didn’t even know that you could get botox at your Dentists! Did you?? But you can…and it’s important that you go to a dental or medical specialist, as it’s much safer than popping into your local beauty salon and simply because the are heavily regulated and always need to be on board and complaint with the law.

But yes, i’m getting my teeth done and saying ‘bye’ to being a botox virgin. At the time, I wasn’t even nearly thinking about getting my lips filled, as needles scare me around that area, so i shyed away from it. However, now…i’d actually get that done also. It’s like when i got my boobs done. Everyone told me not to, but I went to the most professional bunch of surgeons and now almost every day of my life since that day, I am told that I have a decent set. 🙂 Lol. I’ve had no problems or complications.

Right, incase you need your memory refreshing, as it was a merry while ago…I have already had my consultation. I’ve had my teeth analysed and my face studied…and i’m ready. I’m having molds for my teeth created today and i feel really comfortable and that’s the sign of a great specialist. I mean gosh i’ve known Afsar for years. We went to school together. He is the most intelligent, yet creative being by nature and not only does he take his work seriously, as it is his passion, he’s driven, he loves what he does….Yet he also delivers his skills with a warmth, a friendliness, yet a direct attitude to what he believes you do or do not require. (That makes him a good person by nature also, which is always makes you feel so much better!)

 

I’m en route to Hatfield Dental now to go say ‘hi’ to Afsar and his team for a 1 o clock appointment…

and well…I’ll tell you how it all goes. (No pressure Afsar 😉 )

MONDAY

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Nothing was better than laying in bed this morning, as the clock struck Monday ‘glorious’ Morning and I knew that I didn’t have to jump up out of bed, change two Baby Wunna’s, rush around like a mad women, do my hair, makeup and get ready for work. Monday ‘glorious’ morning was nothing short of a marvel.

Then it kicked in and got crazy, as my first born decided she wanted to do everything under the sun again and just like that lol, the blissful peace of Wunna world, got busy.

All i’m gonna say is, that I ADORE being Mum. I love it. I have a sassy daughter and a loving son and they mean the absolute world to me. YET OH MY GOD, when you’re a Mum that works constantly…’stay at home’ mummying, even just for a week is a muscle that you are NOT USED TO EXERCISING. Lol. I’m flipping SHATTERED! HAHAHA. They are currently running circles around me. I want to reach for my pencil dress and get back to the office! Lol. Jesus Christ! It’s mayhem and let me tell you, i’m as positive as can be, when it comes to humaning. I’ll be there for them or anyone I care about, give them the world, adore them, inspire them…as I know just how much that moment of focus means to a being, let alone my own loin fruit. Yet, I’M ‘Holy Moly’ EXHAUSTED! Lol. I need gin! Then we watched ‘Finding Dori’ at the cinema this afternoon, which i found stressful. Lol. My mind couldn’t deal with the fact that Dori kept forgetting stuff every 3 seconds. It stressed me out. But thank god it had a happy ending, otherwise I would’ve needed therapy afterward! Lol.

Going to a dark, snuggly, cinema, at 11.40am is odd. The cinema is definitely a night time thing. The magic, the fantasy, comes alive at night. I was all cosy, all safe, all warm and then an hour and 40 minutes later, I found myself in the blistering BRIGHT, BRIGHT, OH SO BRIGHT BRIGHT day light, forcing Nando’s down my neck and trying to function in the shock of ‘it’s day.’

I’m home now and chilling in a cricket jumper and pants.

I’m trying to do a giant clear out, as it’s my favourite kind of past time, throwing things out. I hate clutter. I need SPACE. I’ve found all sorts of hoopla and certainly made a vow to no longer purchase shite. I mean GOD, a bunny tail thong!!!!! Why have i even bought that? In case I want to put it on and hop around my bedroom …ALL MY OWN, for kicks. What a treat! (I didn’t throw it out though. It might come in handy one day. 😉 Hahaha. I enjoy a bit of ‘dress up.’ Old computery stuff that probably still works, got thrown out, but not a bunny tail thong. Lol. Welcome to my world.)

My love life and sex life is ace, as that Facebook saying goes, ‘it’s like a Ferrari….i don’t have one.’ 🙂 …and I actually FEEL GREAT! 🙂 I’m on top of it all and driving my emotional ship with a wiggle, a wink and a peace sign. I feel liberated.

I’m a decent soul and i’ll pick a decent soul when my path crosses with a human that i’m so inspired by that i can’t not be without them, a human who sees the world through the same eyes as I, is stimulating,works hard, loves boldy, is kind, is a great father, has a spirit that plays well with mine and someone that I can’t keep my hands off. It’s not that hard to find. It’s a gradual process, that develops and once you know that you want to at least have a go at trying life with that being, you just know. It’s that simple. And i’ll know straight away, from the moment that I actually meet them.

Life is an adventure…enjoy it. If you’re ever stressed out, your are not in the right connection and that’s not a bad thing, as people meet people throughout their entire journey and sometimes you can think you’re in the perfect ‘forever’ fit, when really it was just for that time. And vice versa…You can think something is just a path cross for that moment and find that it has ended up being forever.

In my mind it’s about being open to that and embracing it. I love new chapters as i’m a champion at it. But i reckon i have a pretty good grasp at what life is about…and that my dolls, is simply down to experience. 😉

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Flowers, Chills & Inboxes

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I’m off work nine days and I adore work, i’m quite dedicated to anything that I commit to, yet it’s essential at times that you *peace out* for a second to indulge in fun, family, love, balance, and no work, in order to refuel and fully appreciate everything that you’ve kinda got going on in your own little world. And we all have different things going on in our worlds, don’t we? Yet it’s all wedged into one big world, as we rent air space and take it all too seriously. Lol. (How many fricking times can I say ‘world’ in 4 minutes. Lol)

Anyhow, I’m loving it. I spent entire first day indulging Ruby and Junior with anything their hearts desire. We loved, we laughed, we fought, we golfed, we rode electric animals, we lunched, we snow coned, we danced, we cried, we did EVERYTHING! And they adored it so madly and more because they had Mum with them for the full whack, without waving them off to go to work, which quite frankly made me smile. It’s bloody shattering though. Hahaha. I’m young spirited, but my body is too old for this much energy. Luckily wine has been invented by The Gods for Mums. And I got my nails done, so the world is at peace once more.

But hey…I GOT FLOWERS TO WORK! YES! I KNOW!!!!!

And all I can is that you know that you have the best work mates when they feel your pain and whinney moments of bitter and as a surprise to make you smile, they send you flowers to the office! AWWWWWWWW! I literally jumped for joy and definitely spent a full hour waltzing with them around the office. It made the others bitter, so now a chain has occurred. Lol.

This conversation happened..

‘I told her to get you a cactus or a really shit plant. Lol’

‘Ugh. You’re being annoying with your flowers, you turd.’

‘One minute she was trumping in McC’s office and the next she’s dancing around like Miss. World.’

‘As if you’ve kicked off and got flowers! You should try that with a pay rise. 🙂 ‘

HAHAHAHHA. Dying!!

I mean God we laughed about it and well ‘Double B’ can’t talk, she had cookie stuck to her face. She didn’t deserve flowers. Lol. But we were literally so busy, that i had to quit the waltzing and get busy.

However, I will say that I was genuinely surprised and i’m NEVER SURPRISED because I always reckon I’m ahead of the game. And even though we laughed out loud to it all…from the bottom of my heart it meant the entire world to me. I’ll remember it always. It made me internally glow and it was just great to know that someone was lovely enough to send love my way and simply out of kindness….because it mattered to me. LOTS! 🙂 🙂 I am still beaming! I thanked ‘The Mighty’ for it, as no one does anything like that for me.

Then ‘McC’got drunk on her own that night…and send me ‘i love you too’ texts, in the form of adoration and swearing. 🙂 I adore ‘McC’ as we have the exact same sense of humour. She’s evil but disguises it better than I do because she’s all blond and ‘nicey nicey’ looking! HAHAHA. We have THE BEST sarcastic bantz. Unrepeatable…yet that’s why we end up in absolute stitches!

We’re all actually getting closer and closer and I’m loving it. It’s sort of like new relationships, as first you’re happy, yet sizing each other all up…and then you get all comfy and know that you’re in your happy place so you can embrace being yourself because they’ll love you anyway.

My love life? I’m still a super happy singleton and i’m enjoying it. The past week or so, like i said, i’ve simply thrived of loving the life that I have and i feel so lucky. There’s been no date, love or sexy chat. My inbox has been pinging as always, yet I’ve had other things to enjoy like family, work and life in general. I haven’t been sooo…well…needy really? I’m happy. I’ve got my swag RIGHT BACK! And when chicks have their swag right back, you can tell, as it seems we become more attractive by accident, we glow because we feel whole, no matter what situation we’re in, whether we’re single, like Moi, dating, married…when we are whole, we glow because we’re happy. Same with guys.

And you can tell when people aren’t happy as they scramble round for anything with distrust or a sense of emergency, behind a bit of charm and a smile. That’s when we as humans make the absolute wrong love decisions…lol…y’know…when we’ve hit panic button. I’ve been there. Don’t worry if that’s you.

But no, right now, I’m chipper! Wunna land feels AWESOME. We could wham pinatas for no reason and hope 100 dollar bills fall out in glitter, we’re that positive. I’m surrounded by amazing souls which makes all the difference.

I will say that everyone needs to lighten up a bit. I mean GOD, on Facebook everyone’s moaning at something, or someone…or life. We haven’t got it that bad have we? Yeah it’s normal for humans to go through rough patches. But patches are patches and they get sewn up with either exciting new beginnings for cuddled with an ‘i’m sorry’ from the past.

Lighten up. It’s not all bad. Have a rum. Relax. Love. De clutter ya stress bucket.

I got ‘egged’ the other day, you didn’t get ‘egged’ 🙂 and it weirdly made me smile, so chill. To be honest it was like The Gods, shone down on me. One moment i was in traffic getting shit thrown at my car by idiots and then the heavens immediately opened, a horrendous down pour of rain came down and within moments, as i drove to the next stop light…my car was egg less and brand spanking new again and they were stood out in the rain. Lol. I smiled. Don’t waste your time chucking eggs at people. Lol. It’s funny. Why would you choose to spend your time doing that? 🙂 Haha. But on a more serious note…don’t do it when i have the children in the car, you dickheads. *Just saying*

I GOT FLOWERS TO THE OFFICE!

Oh and if you want to feel good for a moment, stand by a bin. I did and some really lovely old grandad came up to me and told me i was ‘beautiful.’ Standing by a bin, a mucky one…helped this. 🙂

Today, I chilled, got ready for travels. I then had cups of tea and read poetry.

What did you get up too?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Flowers, Flowers, Everywhere Flowers

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Today was great!

I’m feeling wonderful. I’m feeling empowered. I’m feeling…fun..i guess is the word. 😉

I’ve been at work all day and like i’ve always said, i cannot even explain to you, how lucky I feel to be around such a great bunch of humans. You don’t get that often. Well…no…maybe I do. At my last job, I was really close to everyone and i love them madly. I’d always say we were like one big happy, dysfunctional family. However, now, in my new chapter..we’re like one big sassy family…that actually functions. 🙂 To me, we’re the best people on the planet. *Lip gloss here.*

Everything was honest, open and motivational…and then the words ‘oh great, this day’s already going shit’ were uttered…and  it all got hilarious.

So today, was the day where in which  ‘The Mighty’ kept recieving surprise flowers to the work place. I love love, people and flowers, all that jazzy hoohaa…so at the beginning all was well.

Yet, then i found, when SURPRISE ‘I love you’ flowers kept arriving, ALL NOT FOR ME Lol…I got more and more jealous and bitter during the process. HAHAHA. It was hilarious.

‘Oh yeah. Lovely. More flowers NOT FOR ME. I’ll just place them there.’

I mean, FLOWERS EVEN ARRIVED THAT WERE COLOUR SCHEMED CORRECTLY, TO ‘THE MIGHTY’S’ PREFERENCE SO THAT THEY FITTED HER NEW GLOSSY, BLING KITCHEN.

I was DYING!!! Hahaha. My soul was destroyed. It was hilarious. We DIED WITH LAUGHTER.

I mean, how lovely is that. Her HUSBAND, had flowers delivered to the office, all glammy all perfect, all filled with romance and thought…that matched The Mighty’s KITCHEN. (It was sooo romantic that it has set a standard in Wunna land. I adore watching ladies get treated with love.)

But before that…I threw a tantrum, as everyone found it hilarious that I kept recieving NO FLOWERS FOR ME. HAHAHA. (I mean no guy that I would ever chose to date would ever think to deliver flowers to my work place to make me smile. UGH! Keiran, my ex husband was actually MASSIVELY romantic and would send me flowers all the time. Yet they usually came with an aftermath tag that read ‘Sorry…off to Ibiza with the boys..’ or ‘Hey…sorry…i’m leaving you.’ Lol. Obviously the tag didn’t say that…and i’ll give him his romantic dues. He is the most romantic man on the planet. His girlfriend is lucky in that respect. But i did however notice, that whenever i would recieve romance from him…it was to balance out whatever he was about to do that was evil. Lol.)

Shush, he’d let me say that, we’re still great friends….and more importantly parents.

Anyway, today’s flowers to ‘The Mighty’ had no aftermath tag and were all in the name of love….HOW CUTE!

So, there i was moaning, splattered, face down on my desk, with my arms cradling my head out of bitterness, throwing a tantrum AND Y’KNOW WHAT MY LOVELY COLLEAGUES of great sympathy said,

Well this conversation happened…

‘Do you want me to put the flowers next to you, so you can see them…’

‘WHAT! NO! So I can look at how they’re NOT FOR ME!!!’lol

‘Do you want some cake?’

‘WHAT!!! Now in my hour of depression, YOU’RE TRYING TO MAKE ME FAT! As if you would sabbotage me like that! I mean GOD, kick a girl when she’s down. Great whilst she’s low, feed her cake and then she’ll also have no flowers and be overweight.’

HAHAHA.

It was actually hilarious. We all just hit the *pause* button and pissed ourselves with so much laughter we cried.

I love, love and i love that there are guys out there who remember to adore their wives and remember to send them surprise flowers to work to make them smile. How lovely. It makes ME smile. (Even though a guy called me a ‘dickhead.’ Lol.)

Then because i was being a Bitter Betty and figured i needed to make the world right again and search for the positive, AND because we had a conversation previous about how i buy my daugther flowers to show her that I love her….on my route home, i stopped by and grabbed Ruby a bunch of her favourite yellow lillies and peach roses. It made her smile, so i passed on the love. What goes around comes around.

Then my car broke down and I had to fix it by myself in a pencil dress on the street. FFS!

I DESERVE WINE.

Today on the whole was great. It was fun. We made chick memories.

And i think, with me, for guys, or people, infact anybody in particular lol who doesn’t know me personally, or see me everyday, or is close to me, it’s hard for them to imagine what i’m actually like as a person, as you’ll see a selfie, read a blog….and then make a judgement. Which is normal human behaviour. It’s natural.

Yet after reading a whole bunch of inboxes this evening…I’m actually really different to how a lot of people may view me. I’m not that serious. I’m sassy, but with a kitten light heartedness. I’m positive. I’m fun. I’m sarcastic, silly, but dynamic. I’m open minded and gleeful, yet not to be messed with. 🙂 It’s kinda hard for me to describe myself. But after reading today’s inbox messages, i know that i am different to how you guys perceive me. I think unless you’ve worked closely with me, dated me, went to school with me or are one of my LA friends who i grew up with, it’s hard for you to understand me? It must be? BRANDON, I’M MISSING YOU. (Brandon, is one of my close LA guy friends who i adore, who has been through a rough time of recent. I feel like i just need to be near him for a cuddle. He’s such a good person. I adore great souls.)

But anyway…

To be fair, i’m a happy singleton. I have nothing going on in my love life right now…and it doesn’t one bit feel bad. I feel all glowy. I’m beaming.

I didn’t blog over the last few days because i just wanted to chill and spend time doing life and being with the people that i adore, being Mum, being just normal. I loved it.

I’ve been busy, I’ve had a lot on. I’ve been stressed. But right now i’m dandy.

I’ve had sooooo many friends this week, have soooooooooooooo many awful things occur in their lives, what i call a ‘curve ball’. they’ve been pulled through the ringer and back…divorces, deaths, break ups, new chapters…all sorts. And  i’m there for them every step of the way, as I AM THE FRIEND that everyone comes to for support and a bit of Wunna love…But i’m kinda luckily because like i said before, in my life, i have no drama in it AT ALL right now. Just love, life, friends, work and family. It’s perfect.

Things couldn’t be better! AND i’ve just realized that not only is it the weekend tomorrow, but i’m off for an entire week…*Cue: Fun*

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Nothing Short of Sexy & Afro’s

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The weekend has been super productive. I’ve smashed it. I’ve fitted in time with the children, where I got to love and spoil them. Time with my parents & brother, where I got to make sure they know that I care. Time for myself, that I thought i needed, yet didn’t need at all…then all the little bits of ‘getting ready for work,’ travel and mental ‘tick lists’ were achieved. I’ve also been super productive…emotionally. There’s been a secret ‘tick list’ going on in my head…let’s say, a ‘tick list’ that cleans up the garbage, sets you back on unsoiled land and just like that, over the weekend, as i ‘ticked,’ or ‘crossed,’ i couldn’t have felt more EMPOWERED and we as women NEED to feel a sense of empowerment, because when we do and when we’re also appreciated, we become the most loving, secure and well pretty much most amazing creatures EVER. 🙂 *Pout*

Today, I sort of had a busy afternoon. The babies do their Sunday brunches with their Daddies. (This morning after I did my face, Junior looked at me through the mirror and said, ‘Mummy you look beautiful.’ AWWWWWW. I’ve trained him well. lol.) So, anyway, once I had dropped off and kissed them farewell, i had to get going to sort out, all kinds of  busy busy errands.

My first stop was Leeds. Met people. Had drinks. Chattered. Sorted stuff out. Hopped on the train and got myself to Manchester. I used to go to Manchester an awful lot and it seems that I haven’t been in ages. I forgot how much I loved it. I mean, I love Leeds madly and know it so well. I pretty much love anywhere i find myself to be honest. I loved Hollywood. I love Pontefract. I’m just a chick who can see the good in things, places, situations and people more than I can see the bad. It’s just the way i’m wired and it’s not because i’m all ‘rose tinted glasses,’ as i’m far too sassy and sarcastic for that. It’s simply because i get the whole ‘life’s too short’ thing and well I guess we can just say there is never a time where in which i do not feel lucky.

Manchester was fun. I did all that I had to do. Chatted. Drank. Enjoyed my brief meeting. Then i figured, once it was over, that I couldn’t be bothered to just jump straight back on a train and rush about, so instead I chilled on my own for a bit and did cocktails, whilst writing, messaging ‘i feel rough’ folk, who didn’t find me and then talking to strangers, who kept…well talking to me. Lol. I was at The Bluu Bar in the Northern Quarter and the bartender chick kept coming up with concoctions for me to ‘try.’

Then…I got bored and fast. (Even ‘people watching’ got dull and i adore to people watch.) I like my own company…A LOT. Haha. Yet, after a while, moments are only good for me, when i’m sharing them with others. I’m tolerant. But i get bored really fast. I guess i just wanted energy and around me, it all seemed pretty… ‘flat.’ My mind wasn’t being stimulated. It is ALWAYS my mind that needs to be stimulated.

So, I drank the rest of my cocktail and I tottered back through the streets of Manchester, hopped straight back on a train and let my phone run out of charge. It felt good. I was happy as can be.

I got to Leeds train station, after being mesmerized the entire journey by this lady with a giant afro, who kept nodding off to sleep and then *nodding down* so hard that she’d wake herself UP, lol…She did it about 400 times and i have no clue why i found it hilarious. It’s awful when you fall asleep on public transport. I once fell asleep on a plane to New York from LA and must have got sooo comfy that I had rested my head on this guy’s ‘suit’ shoulder, with my mouth wide open and with a drool dribble. HAHAHA. I shocked myself up because his shoulder must have got uncomfy and he couldn’t be more polite about it. HAHAHA. I think i accidentally half spooned him.

Anyway, i got to Leeds train station feeling all independent, grateful for the things that I had, grateful for everything that I stood for and for the person i kinda slowly see myself becoming….It feels great! But then it was like everything around me turned into this weird ‘just sound’ jungle of blurr. I walked passed a really angry woman who was nagging and shouting at her husband like he was the scum of the Earth for bringing her a tea instead of a coffee. I looked to my left and overheard a conversation between, I guess a girl and guy friend, where the guy was demanding that she did not let ‘HIM TO THIS TO HER,’ as she looked all upset at life. I walked a bit further and there was a tired mum, looking depleted with her three children rushing around her with their manic ‘luggage on wheels.’ A group of guys talking about ‘chicks they were going to nail.’ Two teenage girls trying too hard to be gobby and much older than they actually were. A group of girls all dressed up, yet secretly looking through the corner of their eyes, for their Mr.Rights…ANYWHERE, hidden behind laughter and a guy, from another land, who sat alone on his luggage, who looked like he had no one but himself.

I was happy anyway, but it was in that moment, where in which i stopped. I smiled. I looked around. I flung my bag over my shoulder, held my head up and merrily strutted through it ALL without a worry in the entire world.

I have none of that drama in my life right now 🙂 because I chose all the right things for me….It took me some time, but i did it….and boy does it feel amazing. Don’t sell yourself short and always be loyal to what you believe is right.

I strutted onto Platform 17b and took the (what we would call,) the scruffy ‘Knottla’ train home with a *glow* and a *beam* that was nothing short of sexy.

 

 

Double B, Gay Wayne & ME

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Yesterday afternoon was great. There was a moment where in which I peeked over an orange desk divider, saw someone who i adore ‘drowning’ in life and in a moment of sarcastic laughter, I smiled, looked to my left, noticed that ‘my left’ had also witnessed the sorry sight of what i’ll call ‘Double B…Help Me,’ (hahaha)….so after salads (because a girls got to eat before she attempts to save the world,) we hovered around the girly, who never dare ask for help, but looked like she made need a ‘step in’ and armed with Post It’s, smiles, RIGHTS, hands ready to file, determination, harsh voices and heels…we scurried and rushed MADLY around our little ‘Double B’ and turned ‘darkness’ to light, put ORDER where there was chaos…..and we did it with sass and smiles.

And in that moment ‘Double B’ looked up at us both, with a sigh and a gentle warmth, eyes that smiles internally, relief that vaped out her system, pushed her swizzle chair back and let us get on with it.

It wasn’t the ‘order’ that had made her smile, it was the simple fact that without her asking, as she has her pride, don’t we all, two chicks, from the ‘other side of the orange divider’ had spotted that she might need a lifeline and instead of letting her drown and struggle…they…well WE, hair tossed, grew ten feet tall and bothered to not only care, but actually strut ahead and help.

All you heard in that moment was this:

‘What’s this for?’

‘Give me that!!’

‘Label that.’

‘I’ll do that.’

‘Sort that out! That’s not right.’

‘What is THIS??’

‘FILE THAT.’

‘Right…throw that away. You’re sorted.’

That’s what mattered and it’s moments like that, that bring people closer together, right? Without having to say anything, because we’re all feisty chicks, our ‘eye talk’ said it all. *Grins. Nods. You’re not on your own. Winks.*

Don’t get me wrong, we weren’t mushy or kind or lame about it. Hahaha. We’re Yorkshire. We’re ‘take it on the chin’ chicks. As well..i’m certainly not mushy by nature, ESPECIALLY when i help people. I don’t offer sympathy, i tend to just share strength, or tough love. Lol. However, i know in my life that there have been hundreds of times, where in which life has tumbled a giant bucket of stress all over my world and i’ve sat with a smile, hoping TO GOD (haha) that some human somewhere would just throw me a Goddamn lifeline or a GIN. Lol. And it’s because of that, that i’ll never let anyone drown.

Afterward we just went back to the other side of the ‘orange divider’ like nothing had happened. It was only later when ‘Double B’ mentioned it to…what should i name her? ‘The Mighty’ yeah…that’ll do. In Double B’s  moment of ‘this has happened and i feel much better for it’….The Mighty smiled, looked over the orange divider and quietly mimed the words ‘THANK YOU.’ That put the full stop on the end of the madness. life was flipped back to ‘okay’ again.

Then like the world did a U turn…there I was all coat on, handbag, ready to begin ‘weekend’…and my world hit *pause* as the same thing happened again…BUT TO ME! Hahaha.

The accidental closest people to you, other than your family, partner…your cat, your dog, your wine bottle 🙂 are the ones that you see every single day, of almost every day of the year, all day, every minute…and well you are much closer than you realize to these folks as they see you daily and know you better than anybody!!

So, there i was..all normal and all ready to walk out the door…and this sentence happened…

‘I’ve got a view on your blog,’ (and a sort of face followed that statement, which sort of read… ‘i need to tell you because you’re being an absolute tit.’ Hahaha.And i love that because at times, you need those people to ‘step in’ and throw you a ‘reality check.’ It’s only your ‘closest’ that will do that to you, for you…and mainly because they think ‘you’re better than being a tit.’ Lol I’m the exact same way. I am the friend that will bluntly tell you what i think and the truth. 🙂 Yet not negatively…just to remind you how great you really are. It’s positive…honest! Lol

Anyway, long story short…this is what happened…

‘I’ll be on my lunch and i’ll just go on your blog for a read, like you do, for something to do…and you’re a good writer, but i get so frustrated and literally want to start screaming at your blog because if i didn’t know you personally and just read your blog, i’d think you were some blond, dizzy, airhead, that’s all needy, attention seekery and lost… AND IT’S SO F****** ANNOYING because in REAL LIFE, and i know because i see you EVERY DAY, all day, you’re absolutely NOTHING LIKE THAT, you’re SENSIBLE and…’ (then she looks at Double B and says) ‘Am i being harsh??’ HAHAHA.

Double B is shyer than we are, so just starts to put her down and LAUGH, whilst saying ‘I thought that tooo…I mean you’re REALLY INDEPENDANT and REALLY different to your blog.’

(Note: I’m not think any of this is harsh, as i’m a direct girl and i love it, when people speak their mind…i was giggling but absorbing.)

‘I mean, you’re attractive and i don’t know if it’s a persona, or if you really feel like that sometimes, or if you’ve just had a bunch on wine before you start blogging that makes sound like that…but you need not to! Lol. It’s so frustrating and obviously you’re not going to find it easy to date, as these guys, who DON’T ACTUALLY KNOW YOU, are going onto this blog, whether they say they are or not and seeing you in a light that you’re really not. I mean, you’re so down to earth and together…and…JUST…well…people don’t need to know EVERYTHING. Call a chick friend or something and leave those bits out of the blog.’

And i smiled because they were right.

We even stood outside afterward for 20 mins talking about life, the blog, all sorts.

‘I know it must be harder for you anyway to date, but you’re not selling yourself right because you’re not that weird high maintenance, dumb chick.’

We laughed, but i listened….and then we decided Friday nights should be about an after work drink in the future.

Then Double B and I walked onward to our cars…

Unfortunately for me, i told a bunch of teenage boys off the other day, so now whenever i walk out of work, they wait for me on a bench to ridicule me and shout things at my body parts. Lol. Idiots. 🙂  Double B, just smirked when she saw the teenagers, said that i was now ‘on my own’ and that she ‘couldn’t walk with me’ lol…and left me to it. HAHAHA.

But i loved because during that drive home, i felt EMPOWERED! I WAS BACK. It put everything back into perspective.

Today i was meant to be in London but i didn’t end up going, but it was great because i spent the entire day with The Wunna’s, the babies and with laughter.

To finish on a humourous note, i was on my lunch yesterday and outside some underwear store opposite Marks & Sparks in Pontefract, this guy spots me and comes to chat…

‘Hey. I think i know you?’

‘Hi. You on your lunch?’

‘No, i’ve been on a job interview. I work at Haribo. You met me once with friends….’

(I actually completely remembered, but said nothing.)

Then the weirdest thing happened. Out of nowhere, whilst he was chatting to me, he says,

‘You know Big Gay Wayne, who manages Biggies?’

‘Yeah.’ (I have no clue who that is?? Lol But just went with it.)

‘Well i apparently, i was sooooooooo drunk at the weekend, sooo drunk that i can’t remember anything and i kissed him!’

‘Hahaha. What? Are you even gay?’

‘No!!!! Apparently, he went to kiss me and i was so pissed, i went for it? I just needed to tel someone to get it off m chest, i feel sooo much better now. HAHAHA.’

‘You needed to tell someone, so you chose ME, the TOWN BLOGGER!!!’

‘SHIT!!! INFACT NO…IT DOESNT MATTER…You don’t even know my name.’

‘ I do…it’s…’ (and i won’t put it on here….lol…but i knew his name.)

He just laughed, said he’s glad to have gotten it off his chest…and i left this path with a… ‘i best get back to work.’

SEE! I’m this weird being that people like to tell things to, as i’m oddly approachable, during times of need. HAHAHA

Happy Weekend. Hope you’re having a good one.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Shredding, Accents & Quality Street Choices

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Sometimes in life you’ve just got to ‘shred’ shit. Y’know, take all the stuff that doesn’t mean too much to you and with courage, a smile and a whole lot of ‘Va voom’, group it into a bundle and shove it through the shredded.

Today there was an air of stress, it was calm, it was for no real reason, yet there was an air that swirled slowly, meandering, wandering, looking for bait. It danced around each being that surrounded me and as it passed, it touched each kitty soul causing that being to be caught up in a case of ‘grey fuzz.’ No one knew why, no one knew how, but it caught us all, like a grey glitter cold that couldn’t be shaken off.

Now, by nature, I’m a positive soul and I am a being who can shake ANYTHING OFF. Anything. So i focused on lightening the mood with foolish wit even I myself felt the stress. But I refused to fully commit to a grey ‘limbo’ of uncertainty. Instead, i swung home, breathed it out and got on with life merrily.

*Cue SHREDDER…Lip gloss here.*

Away from all that, life is pretty great. I’ve got a lot going on and i’m balancing it in heels. I’m feeling powerful. I’m feeling shattered. But i’m feeling like a support system and i am at my BEST when i am in a role of support.

I definitely got described as ‘Attitude with Umph’ today and I’ve certainly made the executive decision to choose the next guy i commit to, by assessing his choice in Quality Street. (If you do not know what that is…a Quality Street is a foiled wrapped English choccie, that is shaken into a tub or box and the sold to us for our delight.) Everyone has a favourite, everyone knows the ones that they avoid and i’m a being who will JUDGE YOU on your choice. Lol. It’s vital.

I saw a blond walk away wondering why ‘everyone has left the Strawberry creams?’ I witnessed  an ‘about to go to Marbs’ Blond state that ‘she would eat any really’ but her favourite would always be a Brazil nut and then a Brunette proclaim that she was ‘definitely a Golden Barrel kinda girl.’

I’m a girl who will go for the blue foiled wrapped coconut Quality Street, every time. EVERYTIME. I don’t enjoy the messiness of a Golden Barrel, or Srawberry cream. I’ll eat them if i have to, yet i never HAVE to, so i’m safe. I’m allergic to nuts. So that’s a ‘no go’ and so, the coconut blue foiled choccie choice is my favourite. If you like that too…we should date. Lol

I’ve got so much going on with Mummyhood, work and blogging. I’ve got a social schedule that i daren’t even *peek* at, as incase i can’t fit it in. I do feel stressed, but i know it won’t stick, so i’m fine.

I’m looking forward to a ‘just me’ break and when i say ‘just me’ i mean time where in which i do what I want. I’m booking a trip away for a weekend. I only need a weekend as i’d miss the children far too much and quite frankly, i’d get bored on my own. I like breaks in small doses, as i’m not used to them.

I’ve got the Leeds Lifestyle Awards, the Blogoshpere Magazine thing, I’m currently working with this amazing company where in which ‘celebrities’ (i’m not a celebrity, i’m just infamous) and well when summoned upon we get to design our very own tshirt, for a charity of our choice and with each tshirt sold, all the pennies from that sale head towards helping the cause that you have handpicked. How lovely right! I feel honoured! As if! What a brilliant idea! I love things of that sort. A creative way to raise awareness.

Life is currently great. I’m focused on getting things right and accurate and organized in my head. When you write things be it for a living or for pleasure, work, or play, in any form…you always have DEADLINES and i’m someone who works even better under pressure and when the going gets tough.That’s when my ‘ooh laa’ flourishes and i nail it. So i’m all good. Deadlines…eat cha heart out.

Today i got asked why i like guys with accents? Do i? I didn’t think i had a preference, but i must if someone noticed it, right?

I enjoy people from other places, so i enjoy an American accent, a Southern accent…the list is endless, which means i’m not too picky. Yet it’s less about the accent and more about the fact that it’s different to Me, so it’s interesting. They’re from another place, they have a story to tell that’s different to my normality. I find them more interesting, i guess subconsciously? It’s definitely not deliberate. However i will say that you will lose me at ‘Ey yup!’ 🙂 Not because i’m not down with a Yorkshire boy. I AM YORKSHIRE. It’s just really normal to me…that it’s a bit less interesting than what my mind is accidentally seeking?

Enough of the banter.

I need a wine.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Roll on Tuesday…& Lurve

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Happy Monday you delicious licks of limelight! My Monday wasn’t too shabby, therefore i hope that yours turned out just as marvellously. My mind is busy. Work is all head. (That sounds rude, yet I assure you that that department isn’t that exciting for me. Lol)

Great time with ‘da girls.’ The great thing about being ‘da girls’ is the simple fact that girls just get each other. We’ll have a laugh, have a moan and then the world is a much safer ‘same species’ place. I guess, it’s ‘ditto’ with boys and their ‘guy time.They need it in order to feel somewhat sane…but with goolies.

Everyone seems to be excited that i’m *can canning’ the Single Life. But i will let you know that even though i do it well, as I pretty much try to do everything well by nature, under the false pretenses that it was all ‘by accident.’ I’m actually not that awesome at being that single. Lol. I’m super independant, yet i enjoy love and I *heart* togetherness. I’m a romantic by nature. Yet i just don’t stress over it, as life is life and well stressy chicks are never very sexy, they even annoy ME, so i sometimes don’t know how guys do it. HOWEVER, like i stated in a previous blog, I AM selective. 🙂 I never know what’s coming and i tend to just go with the flow if it all…if i want to. 🙂

Totally watched ‘He’s just not that into you’ last night and it was great. I smirked all the way through it and enjoyed each waking girly moment of the film. I did have moments of ‘look away’ or ‘flashback’ as i have recently lived out one of those ‘situations.’ It’s weird watching something that you’ve lived and have it played out for you to witness as a third party in movie form. Yet weirdly.. it made me smile. I got it. I lived it. It gave me happy flashbacks, so that must be good? Right? I’m sure i’m going to hell. (It did give me my stress rash though…the dragon rash, the ‘mould’ Lol. Whatever you want to call it. If you don’t know me personally, whenever i am stressed, I get a stressy rash on the front of my neck.) So yeah, even though i can look at my love life history and laugh it off, as my ‘picker’ has been ‘off.’ I’m ready to do a bit of love now and i’m kinda tired of not having some awesome partner to do a life with and all that jizzle with. I want to be able to look to my right, see guy and pat myself on the back for doing so well. Lol.

Yet for now 🙂 i’m looking at bouji weekend trips to Barcelona, to sun it up for a second for a wee bit of extra escapism. BOOYAH!

She is sparkly and she is back.

I had a great guy friend even moan at me last night because he was sick of boring ‘nights on his own.’ Funnily enough..me too. So I told him that i’d post him a teddy…a Burmese chick shaped one, with boobs, that shouts abuse at him whenever he spoons it. Then a whole conversation about my imaginary willy came up.

‘I’m not proving that i don’t have a willy.’

Anyway away from that juicy bit of doo daa. I feel as though people think that i have this long list of gentlemen to date and that couldn’t be further from the truth. As i was saying to one of my chick friends, who cried at ‘He’s just not that into you,’ because she’s a moron. 🙂 I get blown out all the time. Lord knows why? Lol. 🙂 But i do.

Yet i won’t for long… 🙂 I can feel it in my bones.

AND just because a hundred and whatever gents ‘like’ a flipping Facebook photo, it doesn’t at all mean that i have a connection with them.  I hardly ever get excited about men, so if i ever have…then to me that guy is or has been special. If they’ve missed their timing or blown me out…it’s there bit of loss..as i’m awesome and so much more than just a treat. And yes, I know, I don’t reply to any chats…, you’re all moaning about it every five minutes in my inbox. But, i’m not going to when you come at me the way that you are and like i said, for someone who’s so open, honest and chatty, i don’t really spread myself thinly. I’ll know what i want, what i like and i’ll green light it, when a guy steps forward confidently and openly and i feel a connection.

Done!

Roll on Tuesday!

(I’m getting this weird ‘Flash back’ from my 20’s in LA. Well i was in New York…no New Jersey… and this guy that I was dating Tommy, who had offered me the world had messed up everything and left me in the lurch, after I had moved to New York to be with him, whilst i had been living in LA. The great thing about it, was that when i knew that i was leaving, I picked my phone, called one of my best guy friends ‘Dylan’ …I named one of my eyelash sets after him…and i hadn’t spoken to him in a couple weeks. He had just read my blog…

Anyway, the phone rang and he answered straight away. All i said to him, and the first thing i said to him was…

‘What are you doing at 8pm tonight?’

And knowing me weller than well…he replied with a …

‘Picking you up from the airport.’

And at 8pm sharp, I landed in LA and i was home!

New chapter.)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The Dating World, Selfies & Womanhood

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Today, I am feisty! I AM FEISTY! And I do know why, as well let’s word it appropriately, I am ‘celebrating my monthly week of womanhood,’ so as normal, being a kitten, we go through every single emotion known to the planet (but only the bad ones lol) ….whilst performing the ‘tango’ without our lower bodies consent? That’s what it feels like. Today is the turn of ‘shatteredness’ and ‘looking for a fightiness.’ 🙂 But i’ll survive it, as i’m already finding it hilarious.

I’m meant to be at Leeds Pride right now, but i just can’t face it. Lol. I’m in the mood for chilling and movies and calm, and well  i’ll get fun disco mauled, glittered and cocktailed galore, which is usually always a good thing, yet today I just need to eat sashimi and make salmon hand rolls and plonk on ‘He’s just not into you.’ 🙂 However, my good friend and former big Brother star, now turned BBBOTS telly host is in Leeds today, Mark Byron. So you can enjoy him. It’s funny because ages ago when i lived in London, Mark and I had hilarious stories to tell, before he turned into a star. And i did actually blog it, HAHAH, however now, i could never tell you them as it would be far too inappropriate. But it involved money in my pants. 🙂

Today, i’ve lunched with my folks, picked out new living room flooring, (Oooh the excitement) missed my old LA friends, like Brandon. I remember being a 20 something, dressed like a slutty cave girl for Halloween, and climbing onto the roof of his LA apartment to sit with him, whilst he moaned about life and we drank mango margaritas under the stars. He’s such a good egg. I miss his face. Put we the world to right during those moments and then fucked it off to go drinking at bars.

My Mum’s been great today because we’ve chilled and chatted lots and she’s always like a bestie who puts me on the straight and narrow. I’m really lucky. I have a great Mum. She actually taught me how to be a great Mum.

Other than that, y’know what i’ve liked doing? You know when a while ago, you’ve had connections with people, or a person that you still chat to maybe, but not in the same manner or no longer chat to at all, because you despise them…Well I like going back into my message archives and reading the back and forth messages. They make me smile and i have no clue why? Shall we blame my hormones? I love connections and people and it’s so great to look back and relive it all whilst giggling or feeling chipper, because it swirls out how you both felt about one another at that time. Yes, it can be cringey. But, on the whole amusing. 🙂 I love seeing how things hit *pause never again* buttons or even accidentally wonderful developments.

Johny Pach’s been messaging me today. He an old friend with new ‘material?’ Lol. Fun, cheeky and is determined to both send me his best selfies and try to drag one out of me. He doesn’t really well, so i’m really happy for him. Now, I grew up in West Hollywood, and even though he’s ‘London’ he’s now very ‘Hollywood.’ (Which is not something I mind. I love the LA or American boys.) But you know how the British boys are say a lot more reserved, shy, maybe a bit more insecure. The LA boys are THE OPPOSITE, they will hunt you down and holla at you on the street until they make you theirs. They’re really not scared of me at all. Hence why i always feel like i went from a town full of the most confident boys who were not just hitting on me,but OPENLY wanting relationships left, right and centre, to a land where the guys, are handsome and adore you, yet you’d never know it because their cards are played so close to their chest, as they’re so terrified of being rejected? Is that it? I dunno?

Anyway, so Johny now has EVEN MORE confidence Lol, as he’s now living in LA back and forth, doing telly presenting. But he’s a fun friend and i should be doing a catch up with him shortly, whilst he’s back in London. Fun guy.

I read a scary article today that most men prefer to date younger women. A psychology team looked into 400 romantic ads and MEN in ALL catergories prefered younger partners. I’M OLD, THAT TERRIFIES ME. Of a total of 97 men who mentioned ‘age’ in their ads, only THREE OF THE MEN were looking for an older partner and these were men in my dating age catergory. So they’ll be thirty something and upward!

Saying that, i now that i’m old would always date older. Not too much older. But my preference is that they are attractive and that they are at the very least in their thirties, yet hopefully in their LATE thirties, nearly 40 or even in their 40’s. So I get it. At this stage in Wunna land a ‘toy boy’ doesn’t cut the mustard. Nothing feels worst to me than feeling like a cougar. It makes me  feel even older and not young and fun. Lol. PLUS, i do not want to have to look after a guy. They must already have their shit together and be a grown ass man. Lol. AND i don’t want to trail around club nights doing shots and swinging around poles. I’m a granny now and need a rest.

I had a weird conversation with one of my guy friends the other day, he said that i have this uncanny way of being both super feminine, yet almost really masculine because i’m far too independent.

‘I’ve noticed that you never let a guy look after you.’

‘I do…’

‘When? I’ve always seen you take care of everything, or offer to pay or…all sorts…’

‘Cos i’m polite or just like the finer things in life and if they can’t afford it, i will…’

‘…not let a man take care of you. I’ll know when you’ve find the right one because you’ll let your guard down and let him be a man and care for you emotionally, physically, financially and mentally…You’ll let him take you out and Princess you. You never ever let a guy do that.’

‘They don’t offer too…’

‘They daren’t. The girl is almost tooo good.’

‘I’m just well mannered…’

Then I said nothing and smiled and having secretly absorbed what he had said, i changed the subject to my garden picnic selfies. (I have no clue why everyone likes them so much. Yes, i was in a bikini top, but i was just in the garden on a scruffy, with the kids, sunbathy, paddling pool, picnic. Guys are acting like i was starkers with xbox controls stapled to my nipples with cans of ale and steak placed upon me?)

But on the whole…it’s flattering, so thank you.

See! I’m polite!

 

 

 

 

 

I Smells Ya, Kitten Heels, Boys & Mother Mary

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Thoroughly enjoying the weekend I always have a chill Friday, yet Holy Vajazzles, did it take what felt 100 hours to get to my first glass of vino, after the clock ticked to home time and i was en route to home from work. Longest route ever to wine! KILL ME.

Y’know those moments when you’ve had a great week of hard work, you’re just shattered and you want to get home…plus you have things like Mama duties to to tend to etc…whilst yearning for that moment of ‘kitten heels off and breathe.’ Well it was almost like i couldn’t get to it. My mind was busy, but it’s always busy. I haven’t been sleeping well. Then i was dashing around running errands, picking up babies, chatting to friends that i’ve bumped into….got home, swung open the door, was ready to kick those work shoes off..and then one by one visitors approached my door, in the form of Pete (Ruby’s Dad, he missed her and just wanted to say ‘hi’,) acquaintances, neighbours…all sorts. It was about another hour and a half before i got to chill…and well you could TELL on my face. Lol. I’m a feisty one, when i’m tired, you’ll know. But i’m pleasant with it…NEVER. 🙂

But i got there and it ended up being great. My guy friend ‘London Business Man’ has flown off to Mykonos to relax and destress. I had told him that i was intending on doing a holiday and i like that he said ‘I deserved it.’ But he’s good with words in general. I like wordy people. He’s had a stressy couple weeks, if anyone needs Mykonos it’s him. My Manchester pal and I briefly checked in and Facebook chatted whilst he was watching Minions with his son on the other end of the chat and I was High School Musical watching with mine. And there I was , slap banged in the middle of (the posh part Lol) of Pontefract, dipping into the world of others as mine was on chill mode.

Right now…I NEED AN ADVENTURE. Just something to prove that I still got it in me. It’s weird because i’m fun, and spontaneous and adventurous and fire, yet oddly balanced out with this organized stability..a calm. It’s so hard to explain. But I am.

I don’t feel stressed. I just feel like the end of Summer turns stressy and i have no clue why? But the rest of the year, after August zooms by now. I need a break, a sunny one and well my choice of escapism is Monaco.

However let me rewind as fun did occur yesterday…Cue lunch time bench conservation, in the sunshine with my chick friend.

‘So what’s going on in your love life then Chrissie?’

‘Nothing really. Wait, i need to go get a pasty’

When i got back, we returned to a conversation, yet weirdly all about how Junior looks just like me and how it must be bizarre for Keiran to saunter around with his little Burmese Baby, as it looks like he’s adopted him. Lol. It’s very ‘Brad Pitt’ in the early ‘Jolie’ days. Then my blond friend says,

‘I think you’ve just had him by yourself like Mother Mary.’

(WE PISS OURSELVES LAUGHING.)

‘Yes, Jesus Christ blessed me and the immaculate conception occurred, as i birthed The Lords Asian Baby? Except everyone let me into their Inn…’

(She wees herself laughing some more.)

‘I was on my donkey, knocking on doors with a Hi, is this VIP?’

‘Champagne?’ 

Then we sat on the bench looked through my manic Facebook inbox and giggled and willies (‘That one looks all little and stubbly? What are they even thinking Chrissie??’)  Then a guy named ‘Prince Pop’ (we don’t know who that was) tried to surprise call us.

‘SHIT!! WE NEARLY PICKED UP!’

That happens all the time. I have to be so on the ball that I don’t hit the wrong button. Like last night, i was trying to type a message to my ‘Manchester’ pal and every 4 seconds this guy named ‘Ishmail Shah’ kept trying to Facebook video call me. I will NEVER PICK UP a random video call, if i don’t know you. Don’t do it. Send me flowers instead. 🙂 You can guess my address. Lol.

I was getting so stressed out that i couldn’t type this one single sentence because of video call pop ups, that my ‘Manchester friend’ had to lighten the mood by stating that his name sounds like ‘I smells ya.’

I don’t know why i found it so funny. But in that moment, the stressed eradicated and i out loud giggled to myself in Wunna land, pyjamas and whilst sat cross legged on a black and white Union Jack living room rug.

I don’t have anything else to say other than i’m off to buy picnic food. I’m having a Summer family day and we’re going to sunbathe, play, paddling pool and picnic in the garden.

Nothing could be better.

(I’m awake now that I’ve had a giant Starbucks and a rubbish Mexican bean breakfast wrap thing.)