So yesterday en route to work…and when I say ‘en route,’ I simply mean right outside my home, my car ran out of petrol at the very last minute, meaning that I couldn’t get to work on time. My mum had already left with the babies, my car was too heavy, so Ben couldn’t push it out of the way, i was pulling strop faces at life and well we sat there….silently, as we did Wednesday, like tits…. (and not like a good freshly made pair of bazookas and instead like the tube sock boobies, that sag down like sad puppy ears.)
Then my Mum came and saved the day…as always…and within minutes, I was back on the road to recovery. (Well…if ‘recovery’ meant work and in in my world, it actually doesn’t? So, I have no clue why i’ve just worded it like that? I think my friend Big Brother Rex is currently checked into ‘The Priory’ right now to get his merry act together an dget himself back to ‘better.’ That’s what recovery is to me…and well good boy for doing it.)
Anyway…back to Moi. I always say that if your day starts shit, the rest of it follows suit. But it didn’t. As soon as i got to work, and had a stressy panic, absorbed the fact that Danielle decided that I was actually really late for work, because I had spent the night ‘dogging’…things perked up a bit. I missed Ben. But i had ‘Greedy Dan’ to make my day worthwhile and she only makes it worthwhile because we’re both tools. We’re fun, bitchy tools, who entertain each other with verbal abuse. We’re tanned smeared with good hearts and sweet natures, but we can both take a verbal clout, so we go for it…then laugh at how funny we THINK we are. Then Baby Adam came and moaned about his heart aching, simply because his ‘bird’ is in Magaluf and he can’t at all function without her. He’s actually come a long way, as Baby Adam…so i’m proud of him. He’s shook himself into a whole new life, meaning he’s no longer a tragic party boy with no direction, who comes into work shit faced and text’s behind trees and instead has pulled himself together, shimmied into a worker…now has two jobs, a place of his own and is settling down in love.
I’ve basically demanded that EVERYONE should be coupling up for Christmas and no, it’s not ‘just for presents’ HAHAHA….as most people believe. It’s simply because it’s our natural instinct as humans, mammals, beings….to need a cuddly partner through the Wintery months. Christmas is my favourite time of year and luckily i have the children to always make it magical. However, you need that boy or girl you adore, to be there with you, just to make the whole ‘magic’ of the month come to live. Summer is about ‘the party,’ Fall and Winter is about great outfits, boots and settling down with the boy or girl that you love. No one enjoys scoping around for ass when it’s freezing. If you are, then it sucks to be you, as you should’ve done the leg work through Summer.
(I’ve just sent Danielle the work ‘shopping list’ via a Facebook message, because i’m executive like that! Instead of sending her the actual list, i pressed the wrong picture and it sent her a picture of a cocktail that I had at ‘Ego.’ HAHAHA. That’s how great I am and doing my job. I swear I was simply made for pleasure. She was kinda lucky, as I could’ve sent her a LOT WORSE by accident. I mean, right next to that cocktail pic was a nudey, ‘to the boyffriend’ pic, that wouldn’t really have shocked her, as she would’ve thought it of me anyway, but would’ve made her think i secretly fancy her…when I don’t…because she’s too greedy. )
Okay! Where am I?
I have the day off work today because i’m working the weekend. Ben’s on nights, but i’m lunching with him later. I have my specs on because i’m waiting for my contact lenses to arrive…and people are fucking me off something terrible, because everyone seems to think that i’m some kinda of nasty…well the word normally used is ‘cunt.’
I get that I’m a Diva, I’m sassy, I can be a pain in anyone’s arse, if i don’t get my own way, but i’m rolled with glitter and love…with a jovial mist of fun and laughter. I think i’m pretty tolerant and i know that i’m pretty awesome ….so if i’m ever a bitch, it’s usually because you’ve taken it too far and i’ve had to kick off in order to make things right…So quit getting your knickers in a twist, if you actually don’t know me yet…as i’m really not as bad as you want me to be. I’m just blessed with charm and play on this dance of ego for fun. I have boobs, i’m told i’m easy on the eyes…it doesn’t make me a ‘cunt,’ it just makes me….well….lucky? HAHAHA.
I’m trying to chill now and wait for our next date night, which we’re doing next week, because it’s the only time Ben has off for the weekend. It was really actually because after that date night, I got lots of offers in from all sorts of companies wanting us to come to their restaurant, or promote their product, business or jewelry line. And i did notice that a number of people thought that ‘date night’ was some kind of scheme that i conjured up to make blog hits?
Really…i’m not as productive as that! HAHAH. We simply fancied going on a hotel night…which turned into a date night…our first ever one. It was planned overnight…and we did it because we wanted ‘just us’ time together and to enjoy love. We’re doing it again…so once more…everyone can chill out a second…and know that we just fancy a night where in which it’s us, the world and no one else. A night where we get to feel bouji, stay over in a fancy hotel, have an amazing meal and go for drinks. A night where we both don’t wake up with Asian baby feet in our faces…kicking us to ‘get up.’ And yes, i’ll Tweet, Facebook and Instagram the hell out of it. But really..that’s just what I do. AND I’M ALLOWED!
Okay, i’m off to errand run and i hope you’re all mildy productive today. I hope you’re all grateful for the stuff you have and that you all find the being of your dreams this afternoon around Tesco’s. You’ll know when you’ve found them because it will just ‘hit’ you…and once you’ve started to entangle in that choice in love, it won’t be difficult, it won’t be hard work, the other person won’t suffocate, mould you, spend their entire time being pissed off at you, or make you feel like you are not good enough.
I always used to say, that the right guys, don’t boast about the 99 girls they’ve banged or mistreated all year round, and instead make 99 girls jealous of that ONE girl that they have decided to pick as their own… and simply because of how well they treat her.
Don’t sell yourself short…marry your bestfriend, and if your a girl…don’t be a bitch. HAHAHA. It’s hard work, when you are.
Okay, be seeing ya!
(There’s a clicky box at the top left of this page that will lead you luxury lashes. See it? Awesome! Click away!)