Good Times, Manchester & The Art of Being Happy…

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I know! I know! It’s been ages. Don’t take my tassles off me. The kids have been off school for the last 3 weeks…and they are still. SO I kinda chose to hit ‘pause’ and just make their holidays magical, right?

More than anything, I want to be a success. I really want that. More than anything, I kinda already feel like a successful human being. (So i’m cool with that.) Yet more MORE, MORE than that, I want to make sure Ruby and Junior are filled with great childhood memories, confidence, independence and love. I mean, I don’t want to raise dodgy adults. I want them to glow with utter self love and belief.

Yipppeeee!

At 38, I know the value of everything in my life. I’m not a lost 20 something anymore. I’m at my most stable. I’m at my most ‘together.’ But don’t snooze. I’m certainly not ‘vanilla’ with it. I’m fun. I’m definitely someone who will flood my kitty body in Pina Coladas, over reading a good book, before knitting a beige cardy…ANY day. Making memories with The Wunna Babies, came above anything else on my ‘To Do’ list. I’m all grown up. It feels good. (If anything i’ve been working on THEIR Insta. I can’t for the life of me get them over five hundred and something followers. Lol. PLEASE GO FOLLOW THEM!!! @rubyandjunior. Ruby’s nagging at me every day.)

So yeah, a blog hasn’t gone out in ages. I haven’t updated all the sites that I needed to update for work. I still won work. Lost work. Got infront of work. Got behind on work. I’ve attended lots and travelled lots. Yet at the same had to postpone quite a bit or put things on a delay. But juggling babies and work isn’t easy! I always know I can make a paycheck back. So i’m not worried. Adoring them always, is something that is far more important. I know i’ll have my time…in the end. Surely? Hopefully? Haha. FFS.

I have a million blogs to write. A gazillion things to influence. I’m late on everything. I have a ton of snazzy bits of work approaching, that I’m so so excited about. I’m auditioning, (I’ve got everything crossed.) I’m shooting, (no clothes for me.)  I’m filming bits…But until Ruby & Junior are back at school…this glammy little lone parent needs to pull back the reins, before good solid ‘dollar dollar’ can be made.

I’m not a worrier…anymore. So i’m pretty confident that it’ll all be dandy.

Living my life NOT easy…That’s why I begrudge dudes who leave shitty comments online saying ‘Get a job you slut…’ blah, blah, blah….(I have one and I probably 1/Make more than you & 2/I’m actually doing something that I love. Are you? 😉 )

But anyway, I kinda had to juggle things around to make it easier on me, rather than *MOAN* about the stress. Lots of people really moan about stuff, don’t they? Yet, they often don’t DO anything about their problem?

I never understand that. I’m a doer not a chatter. I chat…yeah. But I usually chat, after my mind and heart has already sold itself to the change. I never do ANYTHING that I don’t want to do. I never ‘just make do’ with stuff, situations or people, if it doesn’t make me happy. (I’m as stubborn as they come, yet I do it so charmingly…with a smile…and tits? Haha.)

If you don’t like something in your life. Change it. Simple. As soon as you DON’T make the changes, everything around you has taken CHARGE of your actual existence and you’ve forgotten that YOU have the POWER to make anything happen in YOUR LIFE. You’ve given the power away. Makes your heart unhappy. In order to smash success, an internal happiness has got to be firmly rooted.

Don’t listen to what people say or think about you. Celebrate life….Celebrate the years you have left. Lots of people leave it to the last minute. They wait until they hear a deadline. Like ‘You only have 3 weeks to live.’ Or ‘My wife’s left me…I’m now going to do everything i’ve always wanted to do and start a bucket list.’ Or ‘I never dared do it, because I was scared of what everyone would think.’  Or, ‘I’m sixty now, I want to live./I’ve worked a shit job all my life/I never left myself fall in love./I never embraced my sexuality./I’ve lived a lie.’

All of that shit.

 Anything you do IS GREAT…even if it’s last minute and on a deadline. It’s still wonderful. You’re wonderful.  But wouldn’t it be good to just choose ‘being happy’ all the time and just naturally. Y’know to just have ‘choosing to be happy’ as a natural, normal, everyday habit…Then you don’t have to dash in quick bits of ‘happy’ before the ‘finish line,’ because you’ve spent your life enjoying really meaningful and utterly juicy, long squeezes of happiness, aaaaallllll the way through your life.

People used to say all kinds of shit about me when I was really young. But now i’m old, it’s almost like they have this great respect for me and all that I did, loved and lived by. Haha. (I got away with it. I didn’t even have to do it sober. 😉 )

But anyway. Preach over. You get it. Be happy. Live. Then call me Oprah.

Everyone’s asking me how I am. Everything’s great. I do have some ‘behind the scenes’ drama with one of the ‘Baby Daddies.’ (You all probably know who.) He just can’t stop being a plonker to his child. But the way I see life, is that everything REALLY DOES happen for a reason. Even if you can’t quite fumble around for that reason, right away. Everything DOES become clearer eventually. (And Karma really is a bitch. The people who say that KNOW, because we’ve all done something where Karma has come back and nibbled on our pretty booties.)

Lots have fun bits have happened though. I checked into Manchester last week for the ‘Mirror Image Style’ event at ‘Impossible Manchester.’ I’d never been to Impossible before. It was great. It was really great.

I love Manchester. It’s just a fun oldcity, isn’t it? Especially when it’s sunny. Plus, I got to catch up with some great girly,  old friends, who I never ever get to see that much, really.

Lissy: ‘Shit!!! It’s been almost 10 years. I love you.’ (We used to hang out after the Hilton show, years ago. She was friends with Layla. She’s been the queen of reality tv and she’s stunning. I love her.)

Marlie: ‘Hey! God yeah. So…we broke up Sam and I.’ (I love Marlie. I first met her in Leeds. She was a rep on ‘Ibiza Weekender’ and she’s always so beautiful and so much fun. Whenever I bump into her, I’m always pissed or quiet. But there’s a beauty to her, a realness and I feel like there’s both ambition and a lot of love in her soul.)

Stranger: ‘I’m sure I just saw you on First Dates.’ (Everyone said this to me, ALL night? Literally ALL night. Everyone. I must’ve taken a zillion selfies. ‘First Dates’ was a good time.)

Grace: ‘Hiya! Yeah…we met before at…It’s gin a clock. Help yaself.’ ( l love Grace. She’s sexy as hell. I first met her at Scare Kingdom at Halloween. When I walked into Aaron’s apartment, in Manchester, she was sat there with a gin, looking over her ‘Bad Bunny’ 😉 photos. She’s fun. She embraces being a woman and embraces being sexy. I love her for that. )

Daisie: ‘OMG!!! HIIII! Who are you here with!?!’ (Daisie is hilarious. She cracks me up. I loved her on ‘The Bi Life.’ She’s just ace. I spent the evening chilling with her and model Emerald. She has a really good heart does Daisie. She’s new to the industry, but deserves everything, because she’s lovely..and definitely got her boob out, by balloons.)

But most of all I got to catch up and hang with ‘da boys’ Aaron and Steve. The fellas. Right, if you don’t know. Aaron and Steve are paps. Good ones. The get all the pics, in all the press, know everybody, everything, where they are and what they’re doing. They’re good friends of mine & Our banter is ON POINT. I love them.

So I got to hang out, drink, sleep, party, chill, banter away and leave glitter everywhere for a whole afternoon and night with them…and it was amazing. They’re ace. They make me laugh. Steve had to be a getaway car at the end of the night, because someone was trying to get in the car. Both boys work SO HARD. They smash it.

Sarah, who owns Mirror Image Style (a clothing brand) has always been a dream to me. I’ve received some of the best bikini’s, dresses and allsorts from her. She even dressed me for the evening and I felt divine, I felt so goddess like.. The dress I chose was daring and I have it to post on my insta soon. She put in so much work into the night and she totally smashed it, without any drama.

The event was so glamourous. It was utterly so bouji. Every little thing had been thought of. We had a free bar, a catwalk of the new swimwear line, singers, dancers, the best goody bags alive. It was just amazing. And it was finally great to meet her.

I mean you hardly ever THESE days and because of social media, get to meet someone personally, do you! It’s not a bad thing, it’s just the way the world is headed. I choose to embrace the convenience of it. Lol. I can’t be everywhere all at once. So it helps. However, it does lessen peoples social skills and it can be quite dangerous, at times. Yet, in this moment, it made meeting someone in person an absolute treat!! And I like that. It was special. I love that personal meet ups have now become treats. Haha.

I had the best night. I was definitely the most hungover human the next morning and I definitely puked…in a kimono. Who pukes at 38!?! Why am I stupid. (I just can’t hack it anymore. Haha. How Aaron and Steve managed to get up and work at 8am, after 2 hours sleep to shoot Christine McGuiness..Paddy McGuiness’s wife is beyond me. I died, in glitter on a mattress. I got up and HAD to go back to bed, because I couldn’t sit up anymore. Aaron went to picture Faye Brookes by rubber ducks, hungover, in the blistering heat!

BONKERS.!!

I’m glad it was sunny, when I finally rose from the dead, pulled myself together and got to the train station. It made everything better. I mean, nothing is worse than feeling rough, having luggage, having to take public transport and it’s chucking it down.

The weather was bliss and because i’m solar powered, that totally worked for me.

I got on the train, had to sit at a table opposite a loving young couple.

Me: ‘I’m so sorry. I know it’s really intrusive. I’m hungover. You look like you’re on a date.’

Train girl: ‘You’re eye makeup is amazing.’

Me: ‘I don’t even remember doing it.’

Girl: ‘Don’t worry, we haven’t been on a date in ages…’

Then they both had a fun quibble.

Me: ‘Sorry..I’ve come, been intrusive and then ruined your entire relationship all at once. Haha.’

Guy: ‘She’s 19 weeks pregnant. Shes hormonal. Lol.

I travelled all the way home… The next stop was Doncaster.

‘Things Not To Say To…

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The amazing thing about life, is that in a second you can sort of ‘blink’ and find yourself in a completely different place, a completely different world, a completely different position, or a completely different chapter. It’s at the point, (after you’ve *blinked* and looked around) that you’re kinda expected to just ‘get on with it.’

Some of us will choose to panic and fill our hearts with fear, as we place on a party hat, that reads nothing but ‘PITY.’ Some will just ride the wave of ‘the unknown,’ keeping everything crossed, as they tinker through a ‘haze.’ Some will lose the plot. Y’know, just go bonkers. Haha.  Others will fight, stand tall and come up with a solution or a method of life survival.

Which one are you? You can be more than one?

But that’s not the point, i’ve *blinked* loads, all over the world and found myself in a ZILLION different positions, chapters, places or situations. Some so wonderful, that I couldn’t even believe my luck. Some so terrifying…that I couldn’t even believe I was stupid enough to sacrifice myself THAT MUCH. Y’know, get myself into that much trouble.

My *blinks* have been extreme.

I’ve *blinked* and found myself walking a red carpet in LA, at a movie premiere. I’ve *blinked* and found myself walking into my home, as a bundle of half dressed, drunk drag queens cried and guzzled cocktails on my West Hollywood sofa… in pyjamas. I’ve *blinked* and found myself at an audition for a million popular tv shows. I’ve *blinked* and found myself waking up next to a stranger, who I didn’t really know, or even really like that much. I’ve *blinked* and found myself giving birth twice. (The first time I had a camera in my face. The second time happened so quickly, I almost seemed like a ‘rush.’) I’ve *blinked* and found myself playing phone roulette, on an orange, office swizzle chair.

I’ve *blinked* and found myself waking up, on my own, in a dark hotel room. That’s happened many times, across the world, over and over again. I’ve *blinked* and found myself crowded by people, as I strut onto a stage, to an applauding audience, whilst accepting some award, for some achievement. I’ve *blinked*and found myself on a blind date, at the ‘First Dates’ restaurant, as millions of people watched on. I’ve *blinked* and found myself serving coffee’s to the locals, in a blue shirt, with a smile. I’ve *blinked* and found myself shooting for Playboy, in NO shirt (haha,) but STILL with the same old smile. I’ve *blinked* and read good things about me. I’ve *blinked* and read bad things about me. I’ve *blinked* and found myself at my OWN wedding THREE different times. Lol. (Infact no…FOUR. I married the first guy twice. We had two ceremonies, because we had secretly got married before our BIG wedding, yet didn’t want to tell anyone.)

I’ve *blinked* and found myself in a ‘tu tu’ as a ballerina on a UK stage. I’ve *blinked* and found myself in a US jail cell, with 14 other women, in blue.

I’ve *blinked* and found myself the happiest I could ever be! So happy, that I happy danced and squealed, as I jumped up and down in my bedroom with excitement.

 I’ve *blinked* and found myself…homeless….in New York…Times Square.

A couple months ago I travelled down to London, to film a little something for the BBC. The day before I had actually been in Surrey, to see ‘DBear.’ I travelled home (back up north) late that day to make sure I managed to see Ruby & Junior and tuck them into bed, with love and laughter. But then after a couple hours sleep, I was up and changed and on a train back to London, to film a little piece about homelessness.

I met some of the most wonderful guys and had the most wonderful cheeky life conversations with them in the ‘green room’ before it was my turn to film. A young guy, filled with ambition, who loved horses, idolised his father, loved Guinness and wanted to own a funeral parlour one day. Another guy, who was my actual filming partner who once had everything, then… lost everything. He also once got arrested for destroying a cardboard box and was kind enough to walk me, all the way to my train, to make sure I was safe.

We were three EXTREMELY different people, waiting to film…(Some were in the studio filming, whilst we chatted.) We were three extremely different people, from three really different walks of life.

We had one thing in common…

..and that was…the simple fact, that at some point in our life….we had ALL been homeless.

The funny thing about it, is that NOT ONE OF US, actually felt sorry for ourselves. There’s wasn’t a single soul there, who whopped out the old ‘violin’ and started milking a story of torture. Lol. Infact,  there was a warm giggle of laughter to the air. So much laughter, the producer kept having to come out and tell us to ‘SSShhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.’

 It was almost like we had a funny story to tell, of a really hard time. It was so hard, that we managed to find the humour in it all. (I call that strength.)

There was a difference though…because I guess luck had given me a *wink* and shined its magical stars upon me…I had a different kind of destiny. One that put me here… to THIS *blink*, where i’m now sitting in the lap of ‘self made’ luxury…yet still hoping to inspire.

The guys had MORE strength, because some of them, were STILL ACTUALLY HOMELESS. (I know Paul, the guy I filmed with CERTAINLY was.)

It was the greatest time. We shared so many stories. There was just so much light and happiness in the room, because we all just ‘got it.’ We all just understood one another.

So i’d like to say, how grateful I was to firstly join the ‘Things Not To Say To..’ team. The crew and production were phenomenal. (If I can do anything it’s banter! I’m much more than a Pepperami stick with eyelashes and tits. They got that! Thank you. 😉 ) Secondly, I made some great friends. I’m so happy I met them. I have all the time in the world for these guys. What beautiful souls. They had the funniest tales. It was just the best time. (And Paul, you are HILARIOUS!!!! Who thought we’d have the same sense of humour!) THIRDLY, I love to break down JUDGEMENTS, don’t I! But I like to do it a light hearted, comedic way. I’m not a sob story…I’m not an aggressive person. I’m a cheeky, northern, exotic looking… DIVA. (Goldilocks had three bears. I had three gins.)

Here’s a little PEEK, of some ‘THINGS NOT TO SAY TO THE HOMELESS…’

(Hit ‘Play.’ I think we’re currently on around 22,000 views. If it hits 100,000 views, I’ll do some kind of sexy forfeit on Insta.)

Park Plaza Moments…

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If you do anything, you should take a ‘staycation.’ It’s one of the healthiest things a human can do. I mean, what could be better, than opening your eyes to the wonder and magic,  that you ALREADY have around you. A wonder and magic that you not ONLY FORGET… is around you. But a wonder and magic that is sort of swept under the carpet, or not seen as a true adventure.

I am the Kitty Queen of Adventure. I have a life diary, documenting the last 10 years of it. (I didn’t need to bungee jump or fly out of a plane to prove ‘adventure.’ That’s cool too. However, just not me. I’m not an adrenalin junkie. I like safety. Plus, I prefer to gaze down and see a pair of Jimmy Choos on the end of my legs, over sports socks any day.) No.  I went on an emotional adventure. It kinda lasted a bit longer ;). It kinda painted a more colourful soul. It kinda made impact. I saw life. I learnt a lot. I’m glad I wrote it down…because most of it is a blur, or flashback now.

That doesn’t make my life any BETTER than anyone else’s.  We all have our own stories. No matter how different, we still have the same problems. If anything, it made life a little more tricky. However, …the trickiness alone, created Wunna Land, which moved on to create opportunity, which shimmied forward to create  ‘mini’ popularity…and turned this little Burmese girl from Doncaster…into ‘Chrissie Wunna.’

So, I’m telling you, that a ‘staycation,’ not only gives you a sense of relaxation & peace, simply because they’re zero stress. There isn’t really anything to organize,  other than packing a bag and showing up, with a smile. Yet at the same time it enables you to appreciate the little pieces of ‘luxury’ that we often (as normal people) disregard.

I love to travel and jump on a plane, just as much as anyone. I love to enjoy the world. Yet it’s not ‘immediate’ enough for me…as I have the babies, work and barely any free time. Sometimes, you just need a quick break, a moment to refuel,  be it yourself, family, friendship or love life.

I wrote the kids a note at 7am, April 8th, Monday morning…

Dear Ruby & Junior. Pack an overnight bag. We’re going on a STAYCATION.’

They were a little confused, yet because they trusted me with all of their hearts, within minutes 2 little bags were packed…and we were sat at a train station, ready to venture into the city.

They were so excited. They couldn’t believe their eyes. They beamed and radiated a giddy glow of life…and when I saw them leaping around with joy, I just knew it was the best thing I could’ve ever done. It made me feel so happy to see them so…I can’t even describe how excited they were? (That excitement lasted, from beginning to end.)

I chose Park Plaza, Leeds. I stay there all the time. I do regular ‘staycations,’ if I’m honest. This was the first time I took the babies. (They’ve obviously stayed in hotels before, many a time. This time was different, because this time it was a treat, an adventure and a ‘surprise.’)

I also chose Park Plaza because it’s a 1 minute walk away from the train station. I like things to be easy and ‘no hassle’ when I have the children. Infact, no…even in general. It’s perfectly located directly in the heart of the city. It’s ‘bouji.’ Service is always great. They have the most giant beds. The rooms are spacious. (I like SPACE.) Plus, THE VIEWS of the city are remarkable. They make you feel so free. They also make you feel so powerful. 😉

Ofcourse, this is Wunna Land, so we enjoyed a giant, executive suite on the top floor. (Well, the 19th floor…but who’s counting? 😉 ) When the children checked in, they were greeted like kiddie ‘royalty,’ and given their own Park Plaza rucksacks, filled with goodies, activities and Park Plaza money, that they could use within the hotel for drinks and snacks etc… (Aww.) They felt so grown up. They loved it.

Junior looked after the room key, with his life…and as we shot up to the 19th Floor, in the elevator and I showed them how to open the door to suite. (I took them for fun. However, I also took them to teach them life, love and independence. In restaurants, I never order for them, I make them order their food and drinks themselves. In toy stores, they are each given pocket money and they have to calculate their money, pick a toy, go to the cashier and pay themselves. If they have a problem in the store…or restaurant. Like, If they can’t find something…or something isn’t right? I make them ask a member of staff…themselves. Haha. Harsh, I know.)

They pushed the door to our executive suite open cautiously…and as they did, their mouths dropped to the floor, almost like they had paused for a moment…Then after a breath and a little bit of ‘shock,’ they dashed in screaming with joy and excitement. They flung their bags down, kicked their shoes off, turned all the lights and every piece of electronic equipment in the room ON…and ran around with utter amazement, opening doors, cupboards, running baths, putting on movies, picking things from the 24 hr ‘room service’ menu for dinner and finally dancing on our huge 19th floor, executive ‘family suite’ window sill. It was corner suite, so two walls were windows.

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It was amazing. Just watching them was amazing. They looked over the city, with wonder, as they towered above it. They never knew Leeds was so big. They never realised it was so magical. They appreciated where they were from and where they were.

I kinda swung in, threw my bag down on the bed, poured a fresh white wine and smiled….because I do it all the time. Haha. I just loved watching them. It filled my heart with joy and what better feeling than making people you care about THAT EXCITED. That happy. It’s something I love.

We did everything on offer at Park Plaza. They had ‘room service.’ (Junior got the pizza. Ruby ordered sushi from the restaurant. It was brought up to her. ) They bought drinks at the bar with their Park Plaza money. (If you have children Under 12, they eat and drink for free during their Park Plaza stay.) They took extra long showers, after warm, evening city walks, chatted to guests, played, chilled and sang at the top of their voices.

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I pictured and videoed everything, because I never wanted them to forget how happy they were. They didn’t even want to leave.  Their eyes were filled with adventure. They’re hearts were filled with love. They chatted to ‘Grandma’ (my Mum) to tell her ALL about their suite. They’re adventure. I sent ‘DBear’ (my love) messages and videos…and he smiled at how cute the kids were.

So my ‘staycation’ was about filling their hearts with adventure, joy, independence and happiness. There were people on dates. Married couples on weekday breaks. There were Business men. There were others who just found themselves in Leeds and wanted to enjoy the city. There were people who just needed to refuel, but didn’t want to go far. There were families who didn’t want to break the bank, but wanted to treat themselves to fun. There were people who had enjoyed an evening of cocktails and didn’t want to taxi home.

No matter what walk of life we all came from, as we entered the revolving glass doors, into the modern, ‘clean cut’ hotel, from the busy city streets of Leeds….we all had one thing in common and that was the fact that we had treated ourselves, for all different reason, to a bit of safe,  city luxury, where everything was just made easier.

Leave your worries behind. Take a ‘Staycation.’ It’s worth it. There’s magic right on your doorstep.  

Park Plaza, you were WONDERFUL. Thank you SO MUCH.

The fun that the children had is posted on their Instagram page @rubyandjunior (Check it out. Give them a follow.)

And…all my fun will be REPOSTED on my Insta story, this weekend…@chrissiewunna

Have your Park Plaza moment…. You might see me there.

True Love, Family & Vagina Eczema…

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So, there I was, with a large white wine, burdened with ice, in the corner of ‘Ego Mediterranean,’ in Ackworth. (I place I always go to work, chill or dine. I love it there and I love the staff dearly.) ‘Fly Me To The Moon’ was my background noise. It was actually  being sang, by a live jazz singer, with a limp. (He was amazing.) Ruby & Junior had finished a three course meal, that ended with a crème brulee & a fresh ginger, Eton Mess , before they danced together, to old school jazz songs…with spins. Ruby wanted to go after a few hours and Junior wanted to party all night. We even bumped into KatyP and Golfer Jonny, who I haven’t bumped into in months!

KatyP: ‘It’s Wunna!’

Me: ‘Oh shit! It’s you!! I’ve missed you.’

Then just as I thought life was bliss…because it really did feel like bliss. I felt free, alive and filled with love and family….

 I read a group Whatsapp message, with informed me that my chick friend ‘Double B,’  had now been blessed with ‘vagina eczema.’ (He boyfriend ‘Big J,’ looked at it and apparently ‘made a noise.’ HE made the noise. Not her vagina…Which surprises me, because she’s been sat on some dodgy Mickey Mouse cushion, to ease the pain. Surely that means her Vagina is magically ‘Disney’ now. Soooo surely, it can talk, or skip or cast happy spells of forgiveness and shit, right?

Firmonnell: ‘A noise? Haha. What noise did he make?’

Double B: ‘It was a mixture of nice and surprised?? Haha.’

Hustle Barbie: ‘What? Like he liked the vag, but not the scabs??’

Mel: ‘Have you actually got scabs on your vagina??’

Double B: ‘Haha…No scabs. Just dry sadness.’

THEN I SEE A FUCKING PHOTO HAS COME THROUGH…whilst i’m at a bar, trying to enjoy wine, whilst watching my children dance to jazz songs, by a talented gentleman, with a limp.

Like i’m not about a SURPRISE PHOTO of a scabby vagina, right now!!! However hurrah, she nly sent through a boring picture of a bunch of ointments from her Doctor.

Double B: ‘..for the vagina and the neck area only.’

Hustle Barbie: ‘Haha.Why would you want to put it anywhere else??’

I definitely miss the girls…But I don’t want to hang out with anyone with vagina eczema, just yet. I’m headed for a ‘Happy Ever After.’  I can’t catch shit like that. Haha. I look after my public area, ( these days…) with ultimate love..I promise it gently glows and gracefully throbs, whilst it awaits the love of my ‘DBear.’ Lol. (It doesn’t at all swear…Honest!)

When her ‘stress’ has cleared up…Then we can talk. Hahaha.

But right now, I have shit to do, like take over the world and get my weave cut out.

Anyway, I have a lot planned.

The Babies are now off school, for Easter & there’s lot of fun in store. The fun began as school as they clocked out of school and from that point on it’s been wonderful. We’ve laughed, lived, shopped, dined and celebrated being Burmese, with stage shows ALREADY and we’re only a couple days in. They’re really excited. I’m really excited AND we have a little trip away, shortly. Stuff is great. We’re writing books and filming.

I’m back to my old self again now and i’m filled with confidence and that thing called joy.

On the love front….(The part everyone is always dying to know about…)

I’m still madly in love. We do have a lil’ distance between us, right now. However it hasn’t changed a thing. I’m brimming with the happiness and that’s what life and love is about.

Firmonnell: ‘You love a whirlwind.’

And that is true. HOWEVER, this time, i’m not in a tizzy, or a swirl like madness of ‘being a girl.’ It feels really different, because it feels really stable, without the smoke, mirrors and glittery spins. It feels honest, pure and solid. It kinda feels ‘ forever.’ It kinda feels ‘family.’

 Honestly, (I did really good…for once.) ‘DBear’ is amazing. He’s one of the most beautiful men, I’ve ever met. He’s a really good guy. Yes, he has a story to tell. But don’t we all. But he’s sexy, supportive, thoughtful, loving and all about family. He stands by me no matter what and smiles with his eyes, when we giggle. He’s like my teddy bear.

 I could’ve found my actual soul mate. I think? I mean, I’m over the moon. He makes me really happy. I feel really lucky. Plus, I seem to make him more than smile…I seem to make his heart feel happy…and that, to me… is everything. 😉

I hope I get to keep him forever.

DBear: ‘You have me.’

Other than that, it’s babies, babies, work, work, glamming it up and babies for me. I’ve got a few events, lots of shoots, cocktails and business to tend to. But my priority is the bambinos. I couldn’t love them anymore. They’re a dream.

What we’re concentrating on this Easter is building confidence in EACH OTHER, because all three of us have our moments….

Ruby: ‘ I wish I had a Dad that lives with us.’

Junior: Noooo, Mum! I daren’t ask. I’m too scared.

Me: ‘I just NEED to see some proper success now mum, cos it’s…’

I’ve done well. I’m doing well, but i’m ready to step this up a notch now…Let’s burst into flames and smash this ABOUT!

‘Wet Through Inside’ Liquors, Gift Shops & Botox…

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Last night, I dreamt of rice, in abundance, being gracefully poured… out of a sack towards me. Now, I don’t know whether, I dreamt of rice because i’m Asian (*wink*) or because i’m about to be blessed with ‘…. prosperity, luck, success, joy and happiness?’ (That’s what it means. I looked it up at 4.42am, this morning. I missed out the word ‘fertility’ because, let’s face it, I’ve got my mitts pretty full.)

Then I dreamt that I was merrily drinking red wine. Again, I don’t know if that’s because I could be classed as an alcoholic (*wink*) OR because i’ve about to have a ‘…powerful patron/support that will help me receive honours and riches?’

Either way! The omen is good. Haha. Now I can uncross my fingers and start walking over cracks.

But anyway, on March 23rd, I arrived at Selby train station, after missing my connection by six minutes, to Howden. It was a really quiet station and everyone looked moderately frightened of my existence. Yet, my faux fur and lip liner didn’t seem to mind and therefore tottered about filled with life, love and excitement. No one wanted to chat to me, so I plugged my phone into a wall, to give it some ‘juice’ and Snapchatted ‘DBear,’ who was in the process of calling me a ‘Superstar.’

Tom: ‘HeeeY!’

Boom! Just like that, Tom (@shoptomloves) appeared out of nowhere, kinda like a Fairy God Mother to greet me. (Liz @virtueskinclinic) and Tom came to pick me up from Selby station, because my next train was an hours wait…) I heard another voice. I thought it was Liz. It wasn’t. Haha…

Me: ‘I can HEAR yooooou….’

It was just some grumpy lady, on a bicycle, who didn’t want me to talk to her. J (If you’re gonna cycle through town, you might as well smile because honestly what could be worse than cycling ANYWHERE…sober.)

I once got on a bike in Amsterdam, in a mini skirt, magenta heels and a GIANT WHITE faux fur, with diamonds in my ears…and hair that could suggest that my next stop was ‘Tea with Ru Paul.’ As soon as I got on it, my friends just looked and politely said…

‘GET OFF THAT NOW, WUNNA. YOU ALWAYS HAVE TO BE A FUCKING IDIOT.’

Anyway, I jumped into Liz’s car. (Liz  is extremely attractive. She’s sexy. I’d say dipped in deliciousness.) Then almost without a BLINK, I found myself in the beautiful Yorkshire village of Howden. (It’s actually remarkably stunning.) There was a beautiful huddle of children waiting for me, when I arrived, who’d been watching my Insta Story. They knew I was showing up in their town and were excited to ‘selfie’ with me. I really really loved that, because it always makes me feel so alive. It’s like they added a ‘sparkle’ to my sassy lil’ appearance in Howden. I appreciated it, dearly.

But yes, I tend to waffle, so i’m gonna hit the bullet points instead.

Let’s go….

I took trip to Tom’s gift shop ‘Tom Loves.’ It’s the most amazing place of utter fun, glamourous, sassy, naughty gifting. It’s one of my favourite gift shops, filled with the most unique treasure and let’s say anytime you walk out of a store with a baby pink sign reading ‘Boss Lady, a lilac candle, with the word ‘FUCK’ engraved in it, a pink feathered quill pen and an oven mitt reading ‘Fuck this shit,’ after glammy chatter, under a bright pink neon sign…YOU KNOW LIFE IS GOOD. I love Tom. I’ve known him for years and years and he’s really special to me, because he’s always a wonderful delight….and drinks like a fish. Haha. Every single time I bump into him, my face just beams. When that happens, I know my heart feels good. He’s my new gay bestie.  

Straight after that is was time for what we called ‘Botox & Bubbles’ at the Virtue Skin Clinic, via the Goddess that is Liz. She’s a glamour puss. I want to BE Liz. She kinda looked at my face lovingly, like it was a work of art..with a big needle in her hand. (Haha.) Weirdly I wasn’t scared, because she was so comforting, in a humorously sassy way.  (It’s like we have the same personality.)

Basically she was divine. I never once had to explain myself or state what I may need, because she was already way ahead of me and had it all ready and prepared. Lol. She’s really smart. She’s one of the most hard working women I know. The Botox session was over in a painless jiffy and as she handed me a goody bag and a contour pallet, we ventured to a glamourous dining table for the finest prosecco and ‘wet through inside’ liquors, with Tom.

Me: ‘I’m trying to do a fucking Insta story & whenever I do, someone says something inappropriate in the background. Haha.’

Drinks, laughter, fun, banter, last minute gifts and lamps were discussed, before knickers were changed, (‘they’re a bit too tight on my…,) faces were contoured (‘…as if that only took me five fucking minutes. I went from leprosy to glamourous,) and Tom, Liz & I headed to ‘Bishops Bistro,’ for 7pm dinner…’Flourish and Prosper’ for vino with a wine merchant and the best Espresso Martini in all the land, at ‘Coffee & Wine By Tommy.’ (Howden is filled with the most beautiful secret bistro’s and bars. The people are great. The lifestyle is wonderful.)

Tom: ‘You should move here, Queen.’

I had the Thai Green Curry at ‘Bishops Bistro’ and it was DIVINE. Tom managed to accumulate free wine and Liz is literally a hit, with everyone in town.

WE DRANK. WE ENJOYED OUR TIME WITH WINE, AS OUR STAPLE.

It was just a wonder. A glorious ‘blur’ of magic, good friendship, new faces and life. I’d just tinkered off the most emotionally draining week, that it just felt so so marvellous, to cut away, be with these amazing souls and feel appreciated for the day, without stress. They both treated me so incredibly well. My heart adored them for it. It’s just what I needed. I appreciated it madly.

Anyway….

Tom definitely gave me an espresso martini to take on the road, as Liz had a driver arrive, to travel me home… to my doorstep, in one sassy piece. I definitely puked in one of my gift bags, on the way home J…and the driver confiscated my martini with laughter.

‘I enjoy that you did not get it anywhere in the car. Haha. Well done. I’ve never seen anyone look so glamourous when puking.’

I was home and safe really really quickly…

I cannot WAIT to revisit in May.

Warming it up…

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I’m sorry I haven’t blogged in ages. I’ve just been doing life & having fun. I haven’t wanted to blog, even though i’d take my pink laptop everywhere with the sheer intentions of goodness. I’ve done so much. I’ve lived. I’ve loved. No. Infact, i’ve prioritised. If you could feel how insane the last month has felt on my heart, you’d get it. It’s been filled with success, but emotional torment. True love, yet family stress. Great friendships, yet horrific USERS…An utter sense of worth and identity, but at the same a literal loss of ‘this is me.’

Everything happens for a reason…I’m not one to dwell. You get over everything with a better gust of swiftness, when you just sit and feel it. I’ve done that. I smashed that. Haha. I’m now fresh of daisies.

I came out of the last month, knowing the people who I  loved and knowing the people who I hated.

(And I don’t mean ‘disliked,’ I mean hated.)

Don’t be afraid to tell the people who need to fuck off out of your life TO ‘fuck off.’ The shit that they carry internally, should never be burdened upon you. Let them do their worse, because in the end a good heart, good soul, and the faith in that alone… always wins. The glory that they get from their momentary bit of ‘Yippee’ from being a dick, doesn’t remotely compare to the actual long term success that you achieve. A success that they will never have, simply because of their manner.

But also…

Don’t be afraid to tell the people that you love, that you LOVE & appreciate them. I say it ALL the time, but hear it back very little. Haha. Being an attention whore, this doesn’t suit me well. So please do say it more. 😉 Learn from me, say it all the time, even when you don’t hear it back. Something in the air around you changes and a good kinda magic happens.

But yes, i’ve been meaning to blog, yet left my laptop unopened. It didn’t matter where I took it, with good intentions. But I figured, If I just got on with ‘getting a blog out the way’…the flow & essential, glittery discipline would just naturally ooze from my kitten soul? Right??? Then, i’d be ready to go.

So this is kinda my warm up…

I will say that I’ve had the most remarkable weekend with the babies. Junior is filled with love and confidence. He’s a really sensible boy, with a heart of gold. Ruby is ME, is every single way. So you can literally imagine, what she will be like. However, when it comes to love…both are like this….

Ruby: ‘Mum, the love that I have, in my heart for you… is insane.’

Junior: ‘I love you soooo much Mum…I have a *M* on my heart….’

 There were moments through the weekend where in which I saw how filled with glee they were and every inch of me filled with utter happiness. It made a change from the wine top ups.. Lol. My brain sort of hit *pause* and their faces went into slow motion…as we sat on top of a ferris wheel, in the sky, above the world below. I looked at Junior as he was in a state of euphoric happiness. I looked at Ruby and she giggled out loud, at the top of her voice. That alone, alongside time with my own Mum (who is my idol), painted our weekend adventure in nothing short of diamonds.

Baby Daddy: ‘I don’t know why they love Chrissie SO much. But they live for her. They are her. Which makes it hard as a Dad, to either of them, to even get a look in, when it comes to the love department…and that can be really hard.’

(I’ll tell ya why! It’s because I show them how much I love them. How much they matter to me, EVERY DAY. I’m honest with them. I trust them. I let them BE THEMSELVES. I never wanted them to feel at a loss, so I put everything into their world of love. I don’t judge them and I’ve always put both of them BEFORE, I put myself. *JUSTSAYINBOO*)

But anyway…

The family ARE all filming a show right now (it was meant to be an IG series, but it managed to get ‘picked up’) and it’s been great. It’s actually been fun meeting you all, whilst filming….and it’s just been wonderful to have such a flipping opportunity! I didn’t actual realise how many ‘showmen’ we had in the family. Lol

What I need to do is I tell you all about my time in Howden…(because I had THE BEST TIME EVER, with Tom & Liz, who are two of the most brilliant people, I’ve ever met.) I’ve known Tom (@shoptomloves) for years…and Liz (@virtueskinclinic) has been the most perfect addition to Wunna Land.

But before I go into my time in Howden, I’ll tell you, i’m still in love. ‘DBear’ is a marvel. He’s just wonderful. He’s the most supportive soul. I tell you that he’s away right now. But it’s kinda made me love him more dearly.

DBear: ‘We’re in this together. You can do this…I believe in you baby.’

..and although he’s feeling a little shocked and surprised (in a good way)…everything is accidentally fitting into place. I feel really lucky. We’re both really happy. (I know ‘AS IF!)

But anyway on the 23rd of March (because we’ve now hit April 1st) I ventured to the beautiful village of Howden to see Liz and Tom. This blog was meant to be about that…Yet,  used it as a warm up to the ‘bonanza.’

Liz is one of the most thoughtful and beautiful Queens of utter panache, that I have ever met. (And i’ve met a lot of people.) The way she made me feel was divine, on every level. On the love and service scale of ‘utter divinity,’ she’s up there at ‘1.’ So Liz, knows my dear friend Tom (it’s how it works)  and owns the Virtue Skin Clinic, In Howden.

 After my experience…I pretty much made Liz in charge of my entire face, simply because she’s a dream come true. I went to her for Botox and fillers…I’m in my late 30’s, heading into my 40’s soon and wanted my face to look delicious. I found @virtueskinclinic. I found Liz.

Me: ‘Stop laughing… when you have a needle in your hand.’

… and the results have been MARVELLOUS. I can’t wait to show you.

 Yet away from that, as a human being, she is everything. There’s something about her that’s so incredibly inspirational, with a sassy, witty, fun twist of glamour. She looks after everyone. She’s First Class. But her eyes tell a story. I don’t know that story..but I know that there IS one.

Tom: ‘You’re both SO alike. I had to make you hangout.’

Me: ‘I love her.’

She works so hard and has everything she wants. There’s an actual apartment inside her home and a Italian marble stoned, bar of HUGENESS…. I was impressed…YET, again, away from all that, her soul is just exciting, glamourous yet pure. She’s fun.

Liz: ‘I’m gonna have to change my knickers because these are too tight, on the…’

There’s a lot i’m gonna tell you about my time in Howden…and it all started when I rocked into Selby train station…

Don’t Spill Wine On Boats!

After getting everything off my chest yesterday and sponging the bad bits, from my soul, (it’s almost like they got squeezed out into the sink & washed away, to ‘plug hole’ swirl. FYI/ I’ve actually done wonderfully because this time, a bad time WASN’T washed away with wine. YIPPEE!!)

Anyway… I’ve woken up this morning as fresh as daisy. ( If a daisy, was Asian & a kitten.)

I’m definitely one for expression, as to me it’s the healthiest way to live, be and kinda rid your mind of any torment. When I bottle important things up, I feel suffocated. Do you? Getting things ‘OFF my chest,’ is simply a forte on mine…on every level. Torment & I are just not friends. I’m not that kinda kitten.

I’m also one for justice & fairness. (I could’ve been a lawyer, if I didn’t opt for Hollywood, flirting with boys, fun & Playboy. I chose bikinis over books…Yet it worked. I believe it worked because I followed my heart & smeared it with determination. I believe it worked because even though I chose a bikini, I had all the smarts, that they said were in of ‘them books.’ Lol. )

Everything in life is about true balance. Without true balance, things are a little tipply…Almost like you’re stood on a rushing speed boat, in heels, on one leg, holding a bowling ball in one hand, whilst trying not to spill your ‘spilling everywhere’ wine, in your other hand.

It’s do-able. But impossible. Yet, once re-evaluated and done well…you’re sailing.

Why am I being preachy? Haha. Why am I using boat references? I’m a glamour puss, not a…pirate.

But you get my drift…I’m feeling much better, now that the natural ‘life drama’ layers are slowly peeling away from me.

At around 5pm yesterday…no wait (….before that, because I was sat in a car park, on the school run…with my Dad,) more good things happened. It was like moment by moment Life decided to cut me some slack. The Glitter Gods, thought ‘bless her little sorry self, in her last season Jimmy Choos’ and just went with shining some good luck on me.

Today I feel amazing and what I’m gonna do is KEEP THINGS GOING & KEEP THINGS GLAMOROUS.

This is Wunna land and I’m back on my kitty throne.

I’m really excited because today I’m headed over to Howden to see Liz at the Virtue Skin Clinic (@virtueskinclinic) for a bit of beauty love and treatment. She couldn’t be lovelier to me and it’s really made me feel special. I’m grateful for that after a rusty couple weeks. Haha. I adore a bit of beauty, a delicious cuddle of healthy treatment…to start my fresh ‘strut.’

I can’t wait!!!

I’m also going to be popping into my good friend Tom’s gift shop… Tom Loves. (@shoptomloves) It’s filled with the most beautiful treasures, the most wonderful treats..and being a creative, things of that sort, make me happy! He’s such a talent, a fabulous soul & someone I’ve known for years.

I love that he has a store!!! I’ve always wanted a store…

Me: ‘I want a shop! Like one people can go into.’

Flicky C (chick friend:) ‘Why? Haha. Your brand is YOU & sex appeal. What the f*** would you sell?

Me: ‘I don’t know? Lol They can have prosecco or cocktails…whilst they walk around and shop.’

Flicky C: ‘That’s A BAR Wunna. Not a shop.’

Me: ‘Oh? Yeah… Haha. I can’t be arsed to run a bar. Too much drama. It’d Be full of piss heads, puking on my snowy white, faux fur rug.’

Anyway. Sorry. I got distracted. After a bit of ‘feel good’ and beautifying…Liz, Tom and I are gonna head out for dinner and drinks. (I’m a sucker for a good time. I was sold when I heard ‘DRINKS!!’ Haha.)

I’ll tell you all about it when I get back…

See you sooon Howden!!!

(Keep shit Glammy!)

FRINALLY, Life & Justice…

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Well…what a time. Yesterday was the most stressful time so far. When I say ‘so far’ I mean in 2019. I had to fight for someone I love, on his behalf. In fact, no i’m gonna tell you, that I had to fight for love and protection of my son. It’s easy to fight for something or someone that you love so deeply. Someone that you rightly prioritize over yourself. I find that so easy. I’m loyal. I have the heart of a lion. I’m passionate. I hate injustice or drama.

However, it’s difficult when the outcome is in the hands of a third party, isn’t it? Where you can only tell YOUR truth and hope that they feel your soul.

I’ve played happy, because that’s my job. Yet, if i’m gonna be honest, i’ve been so worried, so stressed out and cried almost every day for the last couple weeks…I guess, out of fear, that I wouldn’t be able to protect someone I love.

Yet, I did it…and to have someone filled with compassion and understanding, look at you, when you’re sat there, trying not to cry, but crying anyway, like a fool. To have someone understand & just stop and say, that everything was going to be okay from now on…To have someone listen and give an outcome that finally protected a being that you love…was just utterly overwhelming.

After everything i’ve been going through…even with the little bits, with the Twitter hack, the haters and just the injustice of everything (…which means nothing in comparison,) it was good to just have someone connect with me, look me in the eye…and feel where I was coming from..

It was good to have someone listen, care and to have someone understand me. It meant the world to me, because it meant the world to Ruby & Junior.

Everything is now on it’s way to being put right.. Don’t get me wrong, Ruby, Junior and I are so blessed to have such a wonderful life. So blessed…we couldn’t even tell you, how lucky we are. Yet sometimes, due to others, there are blips…

Blips in life make you stronger, because if you overcome them…you appreciate the good things that you have going on in your life, so much more greatly.

But enough of that..

The career is a soaring. I feel like i’m doing really well…and in a way work has kinda taken my mind away from any drama. I’ve definitely noticed that when you do well, a great deal of unnecessary problems occur, because everyone wants a piece or tries to destroy your world (lol.)

WHY THOUGH?

Yet luckily, as long as you stay focused and carry on marching…you’re all good. It’s hard to not be distracted by the drama. Yet it’s essential to try not to be. It’s the moment you give in to the foolishness, that fucks you up. Some people don’t like to see other people do well? They can’t even find it in themselves to be inspired. If you can’t see the good, through the mist, you’ll never go far in life.

This is a very ‘changing’ time for me. That’s why it’s all awkward and weird. There’s lots of bad, mixed in with lots of good. Really good. I don’t even know what’s going on?

I’m just noticing a change, a new chapter, a new everything in my life. I mean, i’ve even fallen in love. That alone took me by surprise. I daren’t even be open about it, in case it’s ruined and taken away from me. In case it’s not real. In case they don’t actually decide to feel the same in the end.

I’m private with things like that anyway. Yet, i’m extra private this time. I mean, I cant even have a flipping social media account, without someone ruining it and whisking it away from me. Lol. It’s like ever single force field or guard has gone up..Unless I know, love and trust you. Then i’m weirdly THE MOST expressive human?

It’s so bizarre.

On the whole, I’ve had the most wonderful day because today, i’ve managed to make everything right.

I’ve been shown so much love and so much support. ( I mean thank you absolutely everyone who has taken the time to like or comment, or taken the time to report the Twitter hacking. Thank you to everyone who’s been so patient with me, during a hard time. I’m truly grateful.)

There have been moments where I was almost letting people down because I couldn’t tell them anything, that was going on.

Today, was a day…during the ‘changing’ time that everything made sense again.

Y’know over the last couple days, even though shit has been hard, i’ve noticed really lovely moments.

A guy at my local petrol station, had his card declined and the lady behind him in the queue (who was hard up herself) paid it for him, to save him anymore embarrassment.

I saw a middle aged busker, in the cold, singing away for coins..because he loved to sing and needed the money. I was on my way to something really important…But i stopped and went to talk to him, for the free 20 mins i had, because no one was noticing him and I wanted hit o feel special.

He was singing ‘Imagine’ by John Lennon. He sang it so well, everything around me became a blur, but his voice. I just think it takes a lot to stand there and sing, with all your heart, in the cold, for tips, without any acknowledgement.

Busker: ‘You’ve literally made my day.’

Me: ‘No. You’ve actually made my day, Sir.’

Busker: ‘You look lovely. Where you headed? Anywhere nice?’

Me: ‘I’m just doing life. Haha. Believe me, nowhere nice. In fact, the actual opposite.’

And like he knew, but he didn’t know…He then said…

‘Well, no matter what it is. Good luck.’

Me: ‘Thank you. I hope you have a good day.’

Bad times, or should i say NEW TIMES are temporary. Strong people and good souls are FOREVER.

I’m so glad it’s Friday…are you?

My Twitters Been Hacked!

So you all know that recently (the end of last week) someone hacked into my Twitter account, changed the email on the account, the password and then STOLE my VERIFIED account from me. They’re now using MY verified account as their own, whereas I now have no access to it.

I reported it a gazillion times to Twitter, sent in 2 forms of ID and supporting evidence, but nothing happened. (Except automated responses.) Bottom line…didn’t get my Account back because they didn’t believe I owned it.

Firstly, thank you to absolutely everyone who noticed that my account had been HACKED, who messaged me to tell me…

Secondly, THANK YOU to absolutely EVERYONE who has reported my account as HACKED, because the sheer injustice of what happened annoys me.

Obviously the hackers are trying to cover their tracks now and having to change the profile pic & display name every time someone reports it…and below are three different versions of MY stolen account that you guys have kindly sent me.



But yes…above are THREE versions of my account (which I have no access to…) that my Hackers have used.

The last one they set up after everyone reported my account as hacked to try and make it not LOOK Hacked. Y’know, tried to clean it up a little.

They placed the CHRISSIEWUNNA.COM link on the profile, as it’s now under investigation…Therefore when Twitter looks into it again, it leads them here…to my blog, so it all looks real.

But it’s not. They’ve illegally stolen my account….and it’s disgusting.

Everyone knows I would never use a profile picture that wasn’t my own face!! Lol. But they can’t use my actual picture because i could report them for impersonation. They’d be stealing my identity.

So far, it’s been sooooo wrong that Twitter would let this happen without doing anything….as it affects my business, brand, family and safety. It’s also extremely illegal.

I can’t actually believe that my account, just because it’s verified, would mean so much to someone. Shows you what losers there are in the world, with no grasps on life value or reality.

Thank you to absolutely everyone so far, who has taken the time to report the @chrissiewunna Twitter account as hacked, as I now have no access to my Twitter account.

If you haven’t reported it YET, please do…as hackers shouldn’t be allowed to just steal peoples verified accounts so easily and use them, as their own.

All my love,

Chrissie

(I’ve written this on my phone at 3.45am. I have a really big day today… I need some sleep.)

What Are You Worth?

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I’ve finally made it to Monday and I couldn’t be happier. So much happened over the weekend. I was working with the rest of The Wunna’s, in Sheffield, as we were filming over the last two days. Ruby was away with school for one of those days, which threw me off a bit, because I missed her so madly.

People were trying to both love and attack Wunna Land, all at the same time. My Twitter account was hacked and stolen. Twitter never gave me the account, because they don’t believe i’m the real me???

I found out one of my friends passed away. They took their own life. Then I got some news about ‘DBear.’ The boyfriend. (Who i love very dearly.) The news was actually great, because it’s exciting for me, but for some reason, with everything going on, everything hit me all at once…and I got a little overwhelmed.

Friday night I laid in bed and had a MASSIVE MASSIVE CRY, before sleep. Weirdly, that night, I had THE BEST sleep ever, after shocking myself up at 4.29am. I lulled back to ‘dream land,’ yet woke up a whole new woman. I was filled with happiness.

So, I guess it’s really important to firstly be able to EXPRESS emotion. Always let it out. But do it in the most healthy fashion. This isn’t an excuse to go off the rails. It’s about happy, healthy freedom from stress.

Never bottle things up or hold things in. When you don’t have a release, you burden your mind and soul. Things get harder and harder. It’s not that jolly. Lol. Joining the bury brigade, or opting for the stressy pancake stack, will only hurt yourself.

Friday morning, I had a mini cry. The mini cry wasn’t enough. I held it back in my kimono, because the kids were there. Friday night, when the light were off and I was all alone…I had THE BIG CRY and OH MY GOD, i never felt better.

I woke up refreshed, refueled and ready to take on anyone and anything.

It’s all I needed.

So, I’ll tell you now… my work life is great and it’s great because yes, I enjoy success, making money and achievement. However, at the same time I’m someone who KNOWS what matters TO ME. I know what matters in life. In my life.

I’ve never felt so together…. so stable. I’m a good girlfriend, mother, daughter…human. I feel invincible because I value love over money.

For example, everyone keeps asking me about my Twitter hack. I don’t need a Twitter account. Who gives a fuck about that!?! No one, but THEM (the hackers.) It’s funny…. and illegal. BTW. (Which I guess they will find out about shortly.)

The things I care about, I have! And they’re my babies, my family, true love, friendships and the utter happiness that meanders through Wunna Land, with giggles, jokes, life and love.

That’s real. That’s my worth. That’s what I couldn’t live without…But iv’e always known that. I’m not someone who’s ever got lost in a haze. Yet, I thank my Mother for that. She always kept me grounded. Always kept things real….with love. She showed me what true happiness was all about.

The reason why i wanted to put that out there, is because there’s still so many people who maybe haven’t yet grasped their true version of happiness.

You will never get lost if you surround yourself with love, support and good people. You’re a product of your environment…yes. But those with the right strength and kindness around them, never feel alone. And during blips, you are brought back to your feet with love.

Kenny: ‘Hi. I haven’t seen you in ages..’

Me: ‘I know. I’ve been hiding, stressed and wanting everyone to leave me alone. Haha. ‘

Kenny: ‘Yeah I saw all that about your Insta & Twitter. You’ve been taking care of everyone else and not yourself.’

Me: ‘Well yeah, I do that. Haha.’

Kenny: ‘Do me a favour…when that fat man, who looks like a lump comes near you, abuse him for me, because he always makes fun of me whenever I stop to talk to you.’

Me: ‘Nooo. Haha. I can’t do that.’

Kenny: ‘Where are ya kids??? They would!!!’

Hahaha…and just like that, life went back to normal.