Frupples, Footy & Martinis

Did you even know that a ‘FRUPPLE’ is the term used for when THREE PEOPLE are in some kind of sexual or romantic relationship! I didn’t either! Fact of the day alert!!!! Wait! I’ve just been told it’s actually ‘Throuple’ not FRUPPLE!! Hahahaha. I like ‘FRUPPLE’ better. I used that instead!

‘Dipper,’ who’s one of my guy friends. Well, he’s just got back from somewhere sunny and decided to tell Firmonnell, Double B and I abut some creepy two part program he likes to watch on ‘Netflix and chill.’ Lol.

Dipper: ‘AW! It’s so good! Two married people are shit together and sex has gone stale, so the husband goes off and has sex with an escort, but falls for her. The wife then finds out and needs to go see who this escort is and then falls for her ….’

Me: ‘Are you sure this isn’t just a porn. No wonder you like it so much.’

Dipper: ‘Honestly, it is the BEST thing on Netflix EVER. They’re all in this weird three way frupple…where they’re all having secret sex, but they’re married.’

I love the word ‘FRUPPLE.‘ It makes something so weird and creepy, so cushion cosy. I’d hate to be in a ‘Frupple.‘ It’d wind me up. I’m not good at making the best out of a bad bargain without just leaving and making cups of tea. Haha. Can’t even remember what ‘Dipper’ said that flipping show was called now? Let’s just go with ‘Something Porny.’ And who even knew that ‘Netflix and chill’ actually does mean ‘Netflix and chill’ and not ‘just some guy trying to invite you over under the false pretences of chilling, when he’s really going to attempt to bone you.’ 

I knew the day would go this way as it began with a series of really shit jokes. Shit jokes are only great when delivered well. When you’ve built up your crowd for just long enough and then BOOM.

We’re all sat in this room…all girls aside from three guys and one of them in a pair of leopard print ‘business’ socks and Lady Shizzle decides she’s going to tell us a really good joke she heard the evening before over drinks. One of those ‘English man, Irish man, Scottish man’ jollies. (DO NOTE, I am AWFUL when it comes to listening to the ‘English Man/Irish Man’ jokes because they just get too long winded and I zone out. So i’ve already mentally prepared myself…which was difficult, as I had definitely had a conversation about ‘wanking’ approximately 4 minutes previous.

Anyway, Lady Shizzle begins her ‘English Man/Irish Man’ joke…something about them being on death row…and having their last meal? Then she changes it half way through, because she forgot the joke…lol (YOU CAN’T DO THAT) and now they’ve been captured by Tonto and  the Indians or something? People had ale, got scalped…You get the jist. The joke was delivered in the same wishy washy fashion. Haha.

Long story short, it ends with the Scottish Man being set free by the Indians because for his last meal he wanted to ‘pieces’ of bread to cum in. I got the joke. I got the jist of what the joke was meant to be about anyway. Lol. Due to the delivery of it…there was sort of dead air and everyone looked puzzled???

‘What’s pieces?’

‘It’s bread in Scotland.’

‘What’s happened?’

HAHAHAHAHA!

Then we have ‘Fairytale Blond.’ Little Innocent won’t get a naughty joke or ANY JOKE (lol) in the world ever. (UNLESS SHE REALLY PISSED AND THEN SAYS RUDE WORDS AND STICKS *TWOS* UP AT EVERYBODY.) Like her Dad used to say that she must have been ‘raised in a cupboard’ because she was so immune to understanding a good bit of ‘joke.’

Lady Shizzle told the joke and ‘Fairytale’ just looked Professionally BLANK. Hahaha.

Fairytale: ‘I don’t get it?’

Me: ‘He’s cum!!’

Fairytale: ‘Well why would he not get scalped for that?’

Me: He’s cum in bread. It’s a joke.

Fairytale: ‘My Dad always said he thought i was raised in a cupboard. I don’t get it at all?

That’s how my day began. Yet whatever, I’m not the joke was delivered that badly now…I mean, how can I put it? A glass of prosecco thrown at you… is just as exciting as a glass of bubbly prosecco poured for you, from a luxurious great height by a hot waiter, because both moments are ‘alive.’

The moment was ALIVE. Lol. YET, GOD why do I have such thick friends. 🙂

I love being Yorkshire because you really can just turn around and say,

‘You’re thick you…’

..and it’s completely acceptable.

Anyway, i have to go get ready for work.

I’m moderately hormonal, but i’m really excited to tinker on down to the new Japanese Issho Restauarant that has just opened. The launch night was 2 days ago…However, I will be going privately and i will be blogging my time there for you.

I’m also excited for the ‘British Style Collective’ in Liverpool, is it next week or in two weeks? Who remembers? It’s over four days, But i’m only going to be doing one…as EVEN MORE EXCITING NEWS, one of my BEST BEST BEST BEST LA FRIENDS ‘THEO BREAUX‘ (he’s an actor, I named a set of my eyelashes after him) is flying out from LA to LONDON for a few days.

I’m really excited. I haven’t seen him in years. We pretty much grew up together in West Hollywood. He’s MODEL hot, black and GAY….and I can’t WAIT to shimmie on down to London to see him. He couldn’t be more excited!

Anyway, I’ve got to go and listen to ‘Double B’ ramble on about how her extensions feel like a ‘Blanket of joy’ and then listen to my guy friends go on about football. (They apparently played Seven/A/Side last night in Leeds. *Wait i might fall asleep.* And let Webbo out because he had to work. LOL)  The chick part of my circle of friends are fun….we waste hundreds of pounds on cocktails..and moderately regret it.

David: ‘Whatever, you lot are dickheads. You spend £90 bar tabs on Pornstar Martinis.’

I think we decided that all men were selfish yesterday, whilst being hormonally imbalanced?

Which reminds me…’Hustle Barbie’ is back today!!!

 

 

 

 

 

Love, Life & Hero’s

I’ve had a really great day. Yeah, gosh there were parts that felt extremely looong, (and you know I hate ‘loooong’ anything. Be it stories….queues…..I even don’t get why sausage dogs are long? They creep me out.) Yet after a *blast* of ‘sat next to each other‘ sarcastic banter with my deliciously darling chick friend Firmonnell….and I LOVE A GOOD DASH OF BANTER, my faith in life, good friends and good times was not only restored, but heightened. (We’ve planned ‘doing drinking’ when everyone does worky social things. Lol)

‘I should be due on soon?’

‘I should be too? But i’m not..’

Firmonnell is utter GREATNESS when it comes to girl banter because I can…well WE CAN …HONESTLY rip each other, everyone else and the world to absolute hysterical, glittery shreds, in the name of absolute good humour, without a single censor and you need that, otherwise everything’s all ‘fakey’ and ‘smiley’ and not very hilarious at all. You know you are good friends or lovers ( I look for that in guys when it comes to romance) when you can handle a good old banter see saw! She can say whatever she wants and I will never judge her. I can literally say WHATEVER I want…and she will be the last human on Earth to judge me. That’s what I adore about her.

Yet saying that, I’m astounding LUCKY because all of us girls, in The Wunna Land circle are so SO close…yet ALL SO entirely different…that we just get along swimmingly. There’s a lot of real love between us. We’ve laughed together, we’ve cried together, we’ve lied for each other. 🙂 And it’s having that wonderful circle of genuine support that not only keeps me grounded, as do note, that I am going through a bit of a showbizzy time right now. I have a lot of dazzling’ bits and bobs’ a going on…and I feel really lucky. Yet having the girls around me every day, makes me focus on the things that matter..and not get lost in a egotistical flare of ‘look at me’ idiocy.

I’m a REALLY confident girl. An honest girl. A sassy one, yes, but a warm one. I’m tender. I’m fun. I’m kind. I’m not a dick. 🙂 I grew up being a model, ended up on a reality show and found myself being doing life as an infamous blogger and a business woman. (How hilarious. LOL.) I’ve worked hard. Yet still…it’s crackers.

I always say that my decade in Hollywood taught me how to ‘hustle.’ How to survive. How to celebrate glamourisity, yet be tough emotionally. That’s both in work and in love.  I’m soft, but not stupid. Even if I play it. I learnt EVERYTHING the ‘Hollywood’ way, so i’m probably one of the most savvy chicks you’ll ever meet. I just do it with charm and a smile. It was a great time and in that time I again made some close close friends for life. Note, that in m circle of LA friends…we were all flipping struggling…and now…right now…we are ALL doing superbly in our fields of entertainment. Two of them have their own show. One is a movie producer. One is a movie star. The other a famous rapper. It’s crazy! We were roommates and we all used to piss ‘before they were famous’ Maroon Five off (who also said they were going to be stars 😉 ) by being drunk neighbours.

But anyway, I learnt focus and making ‘dreams come true’ there, in one of the most toughest places of all, where everyone was out for themselves….It served me well. I smashed it. I can now smell bullshit in a second. But i’d never embarrass you. I’d just nod and let you get on with.

However, I will say that I learnt values, morality and unconditional love…y’know…true respect…all that good stuff, from my family. I LEARNT ALL THE THINGS THAT MATTER. The things that give you worth as a human. I have the best parents and had the most loving upbringing….and even though i’m 100 percent Burmese, (which makes me exotic and magical and very Oriental,) there’s this good old ‘down to earth‘ simplicity to me, that you could only learn in Yorkshire. I’m grateful for that. That never left me. I don’t get lost in showbizzy nonsense.  I control it. I’m a really stable chick. Even when i’m wild. Don’t get me wrong. I am a bit of an EGOMANIAC. A sexy one. I know i’ve done well…or that i’m doing well…I’m aware of the buzz. I don’t like to be treated badly be it in work, just in places, or in love. I’m cocky. I’m playful. I’m not beige. I hate beige. YET, at the same time i’m weirdly so chilled and together.  I could out glam a the finest luxury in all the land…then just kick in my my comfies, whilst sharing a Nandos with ya.

ANYWAY …this is where my friends come in…AFTER MY TIME IN HOLLYWOOD….and during THIS TIME where life for me is changing massively…I AM REALLY LUCKY, because I don’t think that many people in my current situation can actual sit down and say, I have THE BEST CIRCLE OF CHICK FRIENDS EVER. They could say they have ‘Alright Acquaintances,’ or ‘Usey Friends‘ or not very many real friends at all. I have the opposite. They’re ace. They keep me focused when I need to be, as they remind me of how lucky I am. YET, all that keeps me grounded, so i’m not an absolute dickhead…because let’s face it…there’s hundreds of ya’ll. 🙂 I don’t suffer fools well. But i’ll tell you with such grace whilst offering you a cocktail that you’ll forgive me and courtesy. Lol. I know some really great people. Not just the girls. I have really good friends all over. I mean, I asked one of my closest friends advice today and she’s in Bermuda. I love her. I remember all that time when I was going through my divorce and I was brave facing it. She could see through the ‘royal wave’ and the forced smile…and the next morning I received something in the post from her…that to this day means SO MUCH. (Thank you EMS!! 🙂 )

‘I don’t think she’s used to people actually caring about her, who don’t have to…be it friends or guys…..70 percent of them fall for *Chrissie Wunna* ….and not just this Burmese chick from Donny, named Christina. When she finds friends or guys who adore both…she treasures them.’

By nature, I’m someone that cares about people, lives and others…a lot more than they maybe deserve…and when I say ‘deserve’ I mean these are the people that haven’t done good by me…The good thing is that i’ve grown out of that. I’m thirty six and raising my own family now. I never focus on the bad past bits. It’s unhealthy. Instead I’m excited for all the good that I have to look forward to in the future. I’m beaming.

Today, if I learnt anything I learnt how important love is to everyone. I asked every single one of my friends around me about their love lives…and they delivered their versions. Each one of them *glistened* with glee as they reminisced and told me stories of how they met their husband, boyfriend, or just boned a date. Lol.

I’m a sassy one. But i’m a hopeless romantic and let’s face it, life hasn’t served me well in the love department at all over the years. But i’ve always been hopeful. I think i’m a bloody good catch. Lol. I’m sure guys have always understood me incorrectly. They’re approach is always odd. I’m someone that believes men should be brave and chase their hearts desire and do it with their romantic foot forward. I’m a girly girl. I LOVE ROMANCE. Yet i’ve had years of just idiots, with a operate their ‘wooing’ via a ‘think they know’ version of me. It came to a time that made me believe that I would never get swept off my feet by some Knight in Shining Armour.

It doesn’t matter who or how the girl is….every chick wants a ‘Hero.’

 

 

 

 

All Hot. All Bothered…..

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I am BOILING! It is RED SEXY HOT and we can’t even handle it. We moan when it’s freezing. We moan when it’s roasting. So I guess, we as jolly little humans, like with everything that we fancy, prefer it when things are just ‘alright,’ as anything too extreme gets to us. Lol. It must! 🙂

Now, I like it hot. I’m exotic. I’ll always prefer to be warm than cold. I have the ‘Burmese’ running through my veins with a dash of the West Hollywood sun tan. I can take a whole lot of sunshine and wink at it for more.

I’m in Yorkshire. (Which is where I was born and raised until I was around 19) and even I can’t take the heat right now….I’m a glamour puss. I glow. I don’t sweat. And I KNOW something must not be quite right, as I am certainly looking for a breeze! I can’t find one anywhere. I might melt into toffee at this rate. AND I WORE A DRESS THAT SQUASHED MY BOOBS IN ALL DAY. In heat…you need free fun boobies.

Nothing has really happened if i’m honest. I have a chilled out June and a busy July. ‘Firmonnell’ was naughty. I got done for swearing. Mel committed tot he executive decision of being hormonal and ‘Fairytale’ blond got her leg out. ‘Double B’ also decided to dress like she was going to a FUNERAL in the middle of our heatwave.

‘What you never know when you might need to pop over to one? I’m dressed and ready.’ 

Other than that, I literally have nothing else to report because i’m far too hot and bothered. I’m sat on my bed NAKED, with my boobies chilling out, my hair tied up on a scruffy ‘up do,’ with every window in the entire home open and no breeze in sight. I even have someone coming to read my tarot cards in a second. She better come with Pina Coladas or ice packs.

Everything’s going well. Life is pretty good. I’m just sweaty. 🙂

I will tell you that I AM SWIRLING.  Oh, LORD I am in a mad, mad, crazy swirl. A perfect swirl of utter deliciousness. I can’t even believe how lucky I am. I feel like a little girl, but one that finally grew up and after a ton of really rubbish times where Cupid had super shit aim….he finally cut me some slack, felt bad for me and pulled his diaper together. I don’t think I will ever, in my life, be this lucky again. That’s how great I feel. And it’s okay to tell everyone that you feel that way. I mean fuck it, right now, i’m telling the world…because it shows people that you aren’t afraid to be you, that you aren’t afraid to be human and that you bloody do care! Nothing is lovelier than that. I watch so many people be terrified to say how they feel about things…and it makes me CRINGE. That is not the way to live life, i’m sure. It’s certainly not the way to BE YOU or to embrace the things that you love. Go with it! YOU HAVE NOTHING TO LOSE. No matter what.

I’m an expressive girl. I’m an open girl, but I’m a picky girl. But you’re a long time dead, so you need to enjoy everything that makes you beam, without fear. I’m all for that. And if you just keeps things simple, it’s amazing how far you can get.

I’m off now, I’m too hot and bothered to write. Plus, if i don’t wear a bra, i’m scared my boobies will go dangly. I’m definitely sure I can’t rock the ‘spaniel ear’ look.

Love you,

Chrissie

 

 

Just because i’m chilling…..

This weekend is utter BLISS! I am on ‘CHILLS! And after what has felt like such a busy time…nothing has felt more DIVINE that this entire weekend of just doing NOTHING AT ALL.

BLISS!

I shocked myself up at six o clock on Friday morning. Literally jumped upright, with my kitty sheets wrapped around me because for some reason I thought I was late for work! That moment when I suddenly realised that I had nothing on, nothing scheduled, no work, no train to catch, no meeting to get to, no quick change and drive off, no city to romance, no worries, no stress….It was the most liberating feeling I had ever had!

I felt FREEEEEEEEE! An entire uplifting whoosh of glee glistened from the tip of my usually stilettoed toes…all the way up through my system and just beamed out of me like magic.

It’s THAT feeling that we all try to capture in life. It’ll spring up upon us, in glorious little ‘flitters‘ and those little ‘flitters’ be it in work OR love, we treasure so preciously, as they don’t jiggle are way as often as we’d like. But do know that these ‘flitters’ are special (I know they are) because no matter how busy, stressed, or how much of a bad time you’ve think you’ve had…hours, days, weeks, months of it….It only takes one tiny moment of a ‘flitter’ (you’ve snagged your dream job, you’re getting the rest that you needed, you got that ‘good news’ phone call, the girl or guy that you love, has told you that they love you back) to make you utterly BEAM and it’s when we BEAM when we are at our most POWERFUL. And that is the moment when we can conquer the entire world.

I’ve chilled. I’m still chilling. I’ve done schools runs. I’ve enjoyed quiet prosecco pours.I’ve had time with the babies..Junior did his first school ‘Taster Day’…Ruby and I have laid together in fields and talked life..

‘But what do I do when i’m older mum..like for a job?’

‘You do what you love…I’ve worked really hard and i’m working really hard, so you can actually do what you LOVE.’

‘Be a sexy lady like you?’

‘No.’

‘I’ll just sell ice creams then.’

‘Okay, good call.’

Then we just carried on doing life, as we laid back on the grassy field, in the middle of nowhere, one light evening and watched the clouds morph into… well she kept saying ‘witch’ but it definitely looked like a penis.

Yesterday evening, I messaged ‘Firmonnell.’ I always message ‘Firmonnel.’ She one of my closest chick besties and we can’t stop being absolute wankers to each other, because we find our banter far too funny. I keep signing her up to Wunna Land future jobs, because she’s just too good at listening to me spew out glittery all sorts and then organizing it all. I’m good at organizing OTHER PEOPLE. But i’m shit at organizing myself. I hate the ‘little bits.’ I just like it done for me. Lol. I tell ‘Firmonnell’ all my secrets and then help her out by not coming to her rescue and telling her that ‘I’d rather die or stroke dogs for 94 hours’ than ACTUALLY help her. 🙂  (I’m not good around dogs. I don’t dislike them. I just….dislike them lol…They seem so needy and I always have to pretend I really like them when they’re near me. Lol. I’m a kitten kinda girl. So yeah, dogs and farmyard animals…are not my favourite. I like humans.)

Anyway, i’m pampering, I’ve tanned, i’ve booked a massage, I’m being mum, I’ve sent great messages, to a great guy 🙂 …..It’s weird how a great guy can just pop up out of nowhere and without you even knowing *BOOM* you’re hooked…Other than that, i’m honestly really just chilling.

I have a really exciting JULY. I’m working with some great brands, doing some wonderful things. I’ll be travelling a lot and enjoying many a cocktail with you. The blog will become alive in July… that is why this chill weekend is so important.

Some of the stuff I have coming up…I’ll be at the British Style Collective. I have a press pass to the event and I’ll be situated at the Lambrini Bubbles bar having visits from famous faces, normal happy faces, all faces…and YOU! I have access all areas and whoever I meet will end up on this blog! So come have a ‘Brini’ with me.  I’ll be telling to the shows gossip via all my social platforms.

I’m filming….I Have a really great shoot. I meet Jack Parsons again on the 4th. I am booked out on the 2nd for a Podcast interview for a show in Chicago. There is a swirl of amazing new cocktail bars, that I have been booked out to visit. I’ll be headed to every GINO’s VIP launch night, as he opens each of his own restaurants. I’m also writing a book. Well putting one together, as it’s already written.

In August I’ll be flying away for a few days. And I will also be visiting some of your favourite football clubs and meeting a few of your favoruite footy stars…where they will be forced into playing a cheeky ‘Wunna Land’ game for all of you to view online. 🙂 Do know that the games are called ‘Cougar Rollie Pollies/ Spit or Swallow & The Referee’s a Wanker.’ I’m sure they’re very excited. NOT! Lol

The diet’s going averagely well. I started out great and well now i just keep eating all sorts. Lol. Same with the rest of the girls. They ALL snapchatted me the pizza that they were having for tea. Curves are in! Fuck it. We’re hot. We’re not slaves to a diet regime. (Code for ‘We’re weak.’) But whatever, I look alright for a thirty six year old, mum of two. I’m like an ageing Pussycat Doll. What could be better than that! I should get trophies are not being an alcoholic. Wait? I’m deciding if I am one or not? (I’ve decided ‘no’ because it’s not my fault if part of my blogging JOB is to have fun at cocktail bars. It’s work. 🙂 It’s hard work. 🙂 )

I’m odd to enjoy the sunshine!

Kisses,

Chrissie xx

(Photo by Chris Stevenson)

 

 

 

 

When We Did Gino’s

So, I kinda left my ‘Inadequate Chris’ meeting to dash up the street from La Bottega Milanese to Gino’s Leeds. I’m already late. I’m already dashing. I hate being late. I really hate dashing. I’m checking my phone, as each chick friend of mine is whizzing through a message to Wunna Land. I’m only half reading them and typing back any kind of rubbish. Lol. Then I stopped! You need to stop…..

I kinda realised  that Gino’s was literally 7 steps away from La Bottega Milanese. Clever me! *Up here for thinking! Down there for dancing!*   I was outside the ever so glamourous palace in almost a dazzling jiffy…so I checked my phone properly to actually read the messages. Such a good friend! 😂

LUCKILY, I have friends that are shit at time keeping also! ‘Double B’ was still en route but stuck in traffic, as ‘J’ drove her to Gino’s in her sassy leaf green, diamante rimmed Mercedes. ‘Hustle Barbie’ was all…

‘Where are you? Are you there now? I’m walking up..’

Mel and ‘Fairytale’ were getting a ride into the city by Prince Jonny. It was probably the most awkward ride ever, as ‘Fairytale’ and Prince Jonny had delighted in some fierce ‘anniversary’ ROW, where storming out, tears and tantrums occurred. Mel had been out until five o clock in the morning and was definitely still pissed. She sat in the tense car, trying to make conversation and break the ice…all the way into the city….all the way to Gino’s. Mel’s ace because like Me, she can be really pissed and still have the most glamourous manners. (Well sort of. You should hear some of the stories. Lol)

Anyway, I’m messaging everyone as i’m walking up towards my favourite Italian/Prosecco haunt (I go all the time, I’ve met D’Acampo) and Lord knows what happened?? Stunning little ‘IT Girl’ me, must tripped over my own stiletto, mid looking at myself through some glass window and FELL ONTO THE PAVEMENT ONTO MY ACTUAL FACE, outside D’ACAMPOS! My bag flew out my hand, I grazed my knee, which now had a fake tan smear on it and my right eyelash fell off. That’s what I call glamour!

WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK!

I have serious problems if I can’t manage to get my kitty self from Bottega to Gino’s safely.  I think it was because I was sober. If I had a cocktail in my hand, i honestly would’ve been fine.

Anyway, I pick myself up, like the fall never happened, laugh it off TO MYSELF, like an absolute fucking lunatic (as there’s literally no one around me,) I swing through the most glamourous glass revolving doors, which is the magical gateway into Gino’s My Restaurant in Leeds (and they definitely are magic, as you push into the place feeling all bustled and stressed from city life and push out of the place feeling blessed, sexy and like every Italian God has filled up your chilled Prosecco glass, told you you’re beautiful and offered you a ‘night cap’ after a kitty romp. 😉 )

As SOON as I get through the revolving glass doors and i’m finally on to the otherside of life, around 11 minutes late…I’m greeted by the WARMEST smile, the sexiest looking girl, who immediately know who I am, why i’m there, what time i’m meant to be there, takes my coat, calms my soul, explains that I have a ‘friend’ already waiting for me downstairs, that has been given the restaurant/bar card and is having a drink, as she waits for the rest of us.

It’s like she solved all my life problems with a wink.

I smile, I’m happy, I can’t WAIT for a chilled prosecco, i’m excited to do lunch with the girls, at my favourite place in Leeds…as we were also still doing the ‘live’ text thing for ‘Chrissie in the City.’ But as I walked down the spiral staircase by a wall of delicious wines and black and white photos of D’Acampo, swirled in baby blue, glass, light and a stylish, sexy but family ambience, (the air feels fresh in that place,) I was kinda shitting myself because I was late to my own THING and if it was Mel at the bottom of the stairs, I was FUCKED.

So, I did that creepy, peepy bent over thing, as I tried to see who it was…and as I was half way down the stairs with the glorious Prosecco bar directly infront me (it was literally like reaching the pearly ‘Italian’ gates of Heaven’) I just saw her *beam*…as she turned her head around slowly with her sassy, blond hair, jeans, heels and glammy top, with a chilled glass of the finest Italian bubbles in her hand and a ‘Hiiiii!’

FIRMONNELL!

Ofcourse! The only one who managed to make it there exactly on time, with everything organised, a drink in her hand, my restaurant tab card sorted,  a smile on her face and a drink already being poured for me, in the coldest most stylish glass, by some hot looking manager. DREAM!

(Do note: I had only been there 7 minutes, and ALREADY the SERVICE had been IMPECCABLE. I’m a SERVICE girl. I mean I go all around and get invited to every place/event/hotel etc in all the land and I don’t care how great the food, the cocktails, the atmosphere is…IF THE SERVICE IS A BAG OF SHIT BALLS. The thing about Gino’s is that the service is not only INCREDIBLE, it’s sexy. It’s warm. I mean the staff there make you feel SO special that they could mess up, through champers all the way down your top, accidentally trump and then STILL CHARM their way out of it! Lol But it’s not fake. It’s a friendly, cheeky, stylish bit of service. It’s so inviting that it’s almost like they know you, they’re your best friend. They want you to have a great time, will create that ‘great time’ and will then join you in your  ‘great time.’ I’m not joking…my friends and I..that particular afternoon were treated LIKE ABSOLUTE ROYALTY!)

‘I fucking fell down ON MY FACE outside!! YES! ON MY ACTUAL FACE! Hahaha! Wait, i need to glue my eyelash back on….Wait! You look amazing! Aw! Thanks! I needed that drink! LOOK at my knee! I’ve actually GRAZED IT! Haha. Thank you so much for organising it all. I’m so late!’

‘I was starting to get lonely being the only one here, but i’ve taken care of everything…HAHAHA…AS IF YOU FELL ON YOUR FACE!’

And just like that the magic started, as each one of my little glamour pussy friends began tinkering in, as Firmonnell and I kicked back and enjoyed our Prosecco at Gino’s. ‘Hustle Barbie’…

‘You know that i just panicked and stood in the revolving door thing because I didn’t know how to work it and didn’t know why it wasn’t moving! Lol. I mean, I didn’t want to look like an idiot..but…’

Hahaha! I love that she couldn’t figure out that she may have to exert her beautiful self and *push* the door. Lol. But fuck, we’re glamour pusses, we don’t push things…we PULL. 😉 Lock up your sexy sons!

But yes, one by one my best chick friends kept appearing around me at the Prosecco bar with drinks in their hands, banter, smiles and previous night stories…(Again, Mel showed me a comedy bruise at the bar and i can’t even tell you about it. Haha.) We were stood, relaxing, having our drinks topped up without a single prompt…then Giuseppe came to join us. I LOVE Giuseppe! He’s so much fun!

To be honest….that’s probably when the Good times rolled…

Everyone  loves a bit of Giuseppe. He’s sexy, fun, stylish, evil, yet hilarious, loves the ladies and with his ‘Head Of…’ title knows how to charm us, prosecco with us, make us feel WONDERFUL and at the same time as very much being in charge ( I watched him hawk eye the staff to make sure every human in that place was being looked after) he kicked back, poured himself a drink and had fun with us! That’s good service!

He made us feel special! He’s the ideal guy to push the Gino brand. You don’t get service like that anywhere. But yes, we talked about all the new openings, the new prosecco bars, we went through the menu,  her asked me about what I thought was great about places, he chatted to us about our lives and our App and the show…We poured endless drinks, laughed like our sexy Italian souls were free and our pants were down, then like The Queens of  Absolute Sheeba, we were escorted upstairs to our table.

I loved that our table was in the mix of it all…as sometimes when you’re VIP..ing it you sometimes get secluded away, to make you feel wonderful. That’s great in clubs and bars. But in restaurants and a place like Gino’s you want the best seat in the house, amongst all the life, all the the bustle…it’s part of the magic.

We were literally in a *bubble.* We were literally being treated and tinkered like we were the most important people in the world. It felt AMAZING and it felt especially amazing to me because for the first time, I got to enjoy it with my closet ever chick friends. It never happens! And I liked it, because they deserved it. If i’m being honest, because of the blog…I pretty much get treated this way everywhere. What made that day special was the fact they got to feel special tooooooooooooooo! It made me happy! And Giuseppe!!! What a guy! Yeah he’s flirty and naughty. He’s cheeky and sexy…he’s stylish and powerful….but he went out of his way to make sure we enjoyed our time there! I really appreciated it. He works really hard and explained to me how it’s so difficult to hold a relationship when you are a guy who works so hard. Nonetheless, he made sure we were happy.

I mean, if we needed a wee….he’d was walk us. I walked ‘hand in hand’ with him down to the loo…as he scowled at staff members who weren’t doing their jobs, yet skipped with me in great spirits, so I could….piss. LOL.

If we wanted to tinker outside…he escorted us. Double B and I wanted some ‘fresh air,’ so we kept jiggling outside, in our full blown extensions to watch some race that was going on and being televised.

Giuseppe: ‘SEE! WE EVEN PUT ON A RACE FOR YOU! LOL.’

Double B: ‘Is this the Olympics? They have countries printed on their butts??’

Me: ‘You idiot! They’re not going to make Olympians run past the fucking Wetherspoons, Gino’s and Wagamamas! Lol

Double B: ‘Wonder who she’s running for, as she has ‘HOE’ written on her butt!’

Then we pissed ourselves laughing, felt better than everyone else…and then talked about our sex lives with Giuseppe. He likes a curvy girl! They look better during sex. With a flick of our extensions we were back through the magic doors and to our surprise our table had been filled and beautified with the most delicately, delicious looking platters, fit for Queens of Queens….of all delights and winks with more prosecco being chilled for us by our side. It looked like a feast of absolute glamourosity of fresh breads, grained olive dips, giant meat platters, breadsticks, stylishly wrapped veggie…all sorts….all so creatively presented and all made with that good old Italian Love…It’s the love that makes it special, as it’s all about the ‘sharing’ platter.. That’s what food is about in that place….You do food with your family or you share it with the people that you love. I love that. It was delivered to out table before we even ordered our starters and mains.

‘Shit! we’re meant to be texting!!!’

And just like that as the we swirled in the finest Italian dining, with the finest Italian service, as more prosecco was poured endlessly, our starters and mains were brought out and now fresh cocktails were being handed to us by Italian waiters with smiles…we began to photograph, instagram and picture/ text EVERYTHING! In a world of Social Media these ‘moments’ matter. And when it comes to swanky restaurants, events, cocktails bars or anything of that manner…I AM your girl of choice. These days, if a brand knows what they’re doing….:) …I’m usually their first choice of blogger. Didn’t I do well! 🙂

Me: ‘Is this Hustle Barbie’s Espresso Martini? Fuck it. I’ll just drink it anyway, she in the loo…’

Now, we’re Yorkshire girls, we love a good time, we love to eat, we love great food, BUT WE ENJOY THE FINER THINGS IN LIFE….We’re LEEDS and every single ONE of my friends turned around that day and said,

‘That was the best food I have EVER HAD!’

‘I have never felt so special!’

‘We need to come back again….NOW!’

‘There’s no words to describe how great this has been!’

After wards with our little bellies full and our souls filled with cocktails..

Mel: ‘I feel a bit pissed me…’

..we all had to say our ‘Good byes’ dash off and catch our trains, rides and next choices home.

Everyone left merrily, Hustle Barbie went to meet friends for more drinks, Giuseppe, Firmonnell and I went back downstairs to the Prosecco bar to enjoy more cocktails and talk about life…

Then with a wink….we slowly sauntered back to the station to catch out trains out of the city.

I MISSED BOTH MY TRAINS….and my phone had died. So I had to sit with this guy who had a communal table, where all the weirdos flocked. No chairs. Just a table. He had slept in a van and got up at 4.30am to help people on bikes. He was nurse or something and had just given a homeless women, with no teeth money, who then got arrested for being on drugs 10 seconds afterward. Lol

That’s life.

One second you’re being swirled in VIP magic. The next moment you’re watching women with no life left in their soul, get arrested in seconds by communal tables with no chairs. 😫

(Told you i’d get you in the blog. :))

I totally typed chrissiewunna.com into his notes section.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Chrissie in the city, La Bottega & Ginos with The Girls

Morning! Morning! Hope you’ve shot into you weekend with a rummy *yippeee* and a high kick of victory to the wine Gods. I had a rough yesterday. A looooooooooooooooong work Saturday. It dragged. All of my friends and I did. We were ‘all in.’ It made us retire to our normal home lives and then DRINK GALLONS OF BOOZE until we felt normal. At that point, i cuddled the babies to sleep, talked to ‘the swirl’ (the hottest human I will ever swirl with…I love him, no one beats our banter. He makes my eyes smile….) and then after describing a written book of porn that was gifted to me by a chubby stranger, to review…I resided to my kitten bed sheets and enjoyed a good nights sleep.

Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz!

IN THAT TIME …

DRAMA OCCURED. Shit went down…and I missed it.

I don’t know what’s happened, but ‘fairytale’ is all forlorn, so that’s not good. It was her Anniversary last night. Double B was fine…I received a million morning texts from here telling me how much she loved me, whilst fueled by shots and her body weight in red wine. Mel, got in at 2am after a tinseled night on the town in heels and Firmonnell and I bantered about hot pink heels, the best lunch ever and dodgy gimp masks that should only be worn in the bedroom. We laughed so hard we cried, to the point where Hustle Barbie, strutted in looked at us like we were dickheads and left in a strop.

The diets going well. For six days straight I ate zero carbs, just salad and then I had pasta last night and more bags of Wotsits. Lol FUCKS SAKE! I’m gonna send Michelle Keegan a box of wotsits to make her slow her roll.

Y’see in Yorkshire, no one diets during the weekend. No one does. It’s against the rules. On Sunday we have a roast and we drink. That’s it. You’ll meet a Yorkshire girl and she will always tell you that she’s had a few at the weekend and that no one diets during that time. It’s the rules. Like I said. I need to find my Hollywood mentality, but it’s hard when you’re a being a country bumpkin. Lol. I swore that my 23 year old ABS were hiding under my belly fat.

So yeah, I’ve gone and had pasta. I still feel skinny though. In a wibbly kind of glamour puss way. And I don’t care. Fuck it.

Away from all that I have a busy day. A fun day, but a bus one!

I’m all dressed up, in a glammy boobie dress by Jessica Wright and shortly I will be en route to La Bottega Milanese at Bond Court in Leeds, for a morning coffee at the espresso bar with ‘Inadequate Chris.’ (He wants a collabo and well he’s the champion of Snapchat with trophies to prove it. EVERYTHING is social media right now. i mean, Googlebox is now Vlogglebox. Get it? Learn it quickly!)

Straight after my morning breakfast banter with ‘Inadequate Chris’ I will be headed straight to Gino’s (Gino’s My Restauarnt in Leeds, owned by the very sexy D’Acamapo, who I had the pleasure of meeting last month..) as the girls and I are going to celebrate life, friendship and good food, in the name of love. I have a Black card to Gino’s so we’re very lucky to enjoy such a good time. We’re all going to be arriving separately from across the city and tinker into lunch in heels. We’ll be coming ‘up/down/around…and from a meeting.’

We’re also on our last day of texting. For the last 10 days, the girls and I, including Liam in Blackpool, have had our private text messages made ‘live’ to the public for you to read, for an app by Onlookr (onlookr.co.uk) for ‘CHRISSIE IN THE CITY.’

We’ve done really well and enjoyed it and again really lucky as it’s all going be moving forward. You can follow todays actions as we live text from Gino’s.

It’s sort of like ‘Sex and the City’ but in Wunna land, with my friends and the city is Leeds. And it’s been great to let you have insight into what really happens in real time.

We’ll be texting from Gino’s Leeds today, so you can come day ‘Hi’ and be a part of the drama or just download the app and follow our chitter.

I’n really happy. Life is great. I’m in a rush, as I have trains to catch. But thank you. I love you for everything. I’m tanning and rushing. I’ve gotta go.

 

Chrissie x

 

Friday Hoopla, Gino’s & Da Ladies

Yay! Espresso Martini’s for everyone! It is fucking Friday! Technically, this week the Friday ‘Hoopla’ means nothing to me as I’m working ALL Saturday,  (YIPEEEE.) Yet I’ll let you all enjoy your *can can.* I’m one to start the party, not poop at it.

I’m feeling positive and refreshed. I’m smashing my diet, thanks to ‘Fairytale’ and Hustle Barbie. YOU’RE ALL going to jelaous of me in a bikini. I’m not saying that I think i’m fat. I’m saying that I have wibbly bits that might need a *jiggle* off…I’m quite a vain person, so it has nothing to do with my health and everything to do with looking good! Lol. And yeah, you may think that is shit, but it’s not. I did my entire 20’s in Hollywood and my entire career at that point was making money from ‘looking good.’ It’s healthy to shake off ya wibbly bits. Especially when ‘Firmonnell’ says I an have a rum.

‘Honestly, it’s better for you than wine.’

I’ve had to change my mental state of thought, because ‘Hustle’ and ‘Fairytale’ are actually shit at making me just eat leaves. (They’re already skinny, so it doesn’t matter to them.) They’re all..

‘Lets have a bun’ here…’I really need a biscuit’ there…’Chrissie banana bread is just like brown toast with banana on it. It’s good for you.’

‘IT’S FUCKING CAKE!’

So ‘Firmonnell’ and I have made the executive decision TO LET THEM eat cake.

‘Eat it my pretties…’

That way, when we’re supermodel skinny and flouncing around like the happy chick on the Bodyform beach commercials, they’ll be fat…and that will make me happy. 🙂 I’ll look like a Michelle Keegan in a bikini and they’ll look like Stavros Flatley. (Everyone made fun of my Ellen Degeneres Girl Crush yesterday. I don’t get why people don’t see the attraction? If i could marry any woman…it would be HER!)

‘Well yeah, she is funny Chrissie…’

‘NO! She’s hot! It goes waaaaaaaaaay beyond funny. Lol.’

I’ve confused myself really because i’m definitely very straight but GOD, I fancy Ellen. Lol. I’m not even kidding. I adore her. AND she follows me on Twitter!

I’m feeling a bit rough today. I did after work cocktails simply because it was THURSDAY. Not sure why I thought that was such a good idea? However, everyone must have jumped on the bandwagon because the place was RAMMED. In Leeds…everyone votes for cocktails through the week. Which reminds me…I forgot to actually Vote for the Prime Minister. Lol. Fuck it. I voted ‘Pornstars.’

I have lots going on but i’m happy. It feels chilled and in control. This week is a busy one…and during my spits of time off (which is only Sunday) I have a morning coffee with ‘Inadequate Chris’ (he’s a Snapchat star and does these really funny videos.) He messaged me yesterday to see if we could come up with a collabo. We’ll be doing La Bottega Milanese in Leeds, at around 10.30am? Can’t remember what time I said?

THEN I meet the girls, my besties, my dolls (we’ve had our private text messages ‘LIVE’ for the world to read all week and it’s been so fun. We’re almost at the end of our 10 day ‘Chrissie in the City’ stint…Yet we’ve done and are doing so well, that it’s going to get picked up, revamped and moved forward.’ App show here we come. The future is all about Social Media and we’ve accidentally got ourselves a future HIT..if we do it right.)

Anyway, what was I saying? Chris at Bottega? Yes, on Sunday at 1pm, all us girls are meeting up and kicking back to enjoy a prosecco dripped, cocktailed lunch at one of my favoruite Leeds haunts Gino’s. It is owned by the very famous Gino ‘D’acampo. I did his live show. I chatted to him about life. I’m goign to the opening of the Harrogate restaurant. I wrote the infamous blog on his joint (the first time that I visited.) It swirled through the head honchos and D’acampo offices. I now have a Black card…and the girls and I are going to treat ourselves to the finest pasta, cocktails in all the land of Leeds….and glare at delicious Italian waiters…as we get very glamourously pissed.

I want one of Mel’s kittens!

(I love that I’ve just seen a picture of my friend Katty stood by a ‘Polling station’ sign with the words…

THEY SEE ME POLLIN’ ….THEY HATING…’ underneath it. 

Hahahaha! DYING.That’s what life’s about.)

I’ve run out of foundation, had no time to buy any, my hair extensions are falling to pieces and i’ve forgotten to watch Love Island. UGH! FFS! What is life!

 

 

 

 

Diets, Fairytales & A Good Old B********

Everything is wonderful. So wonderful that I feel like i might have to pinch myself to believe that all is going to be okay. I always believed it. Yet, I must not have really if i’m this shocked. Lol. I took a couple days off from blogging, not because I couldn’t be arsed or I was too busy. I was a little stressed out and really tired. Instead of coming forward with a meant nothing to me shite blog, I rested, waited until I felt full again and chilled out. I’m a positive person. I don’t like writing stressy blog, if they’re not dashed in humour, as emotions are contagious…like the lergy, you pass it on.

I don’t how to describe how I feel to you, right now. Just know it feels good. It feels balanced. It feels peaceful. For a wild one…I LOVE PEACE. I’ve always said that the next time I marry, I will choose the man that brings me peace. Keiran, my ex husband (even though we’re great friends now, because we co parent Baby Junior) brought me quite a rollercoaster of drama. There was always something. Always a fuss. Always shit over nothing. I live in a dramatic world. A very open world. A word where the world read my life as I go along.  The ways things are now…that could never happen. I wouldn’t ever have it. I want something so special that it’s just mine. It’s swirled in romance, love and friendship. It’s just mine. It makes me laugh, but it brings me peace. It’s reliable. It’s full of soul. It’s just mine. (You can tell i’m old now. Lol *Starts knitting a cardy.*)

If i had five large tins of paint in front of me….and in each tin was a thick glittery gloopy colour…one pink, one yellow, one purple, light green and blue…and if each tin represented a part of my life…y’know that had a label on it that read..

‘Love/Health/Wealth/Family/Career/’

I could pick up my magic wand right now and dip it into each gloopy tin of paint. As I lifted the wand higher and watched the thick glittery paint stretch and slop all over with life and then splash it and swirl it all around the room madly…MADLY..with laughter and spirit bubbling through my soul… the entire mess I was making …that mess would represent HAPPINESS.

I guess, that’s how heart feels now. It almost feels free. (Note/ I said ‘almost.‘ 🙂 I used to always say that if you ‘almost did something’ you never ever did it. It didn’t count. However, now I guess, if you almost do something, you’re nearly there. 🙂 )

But away from that, ‘Fairytale’ has put me on a diet. She’s on it also, as we need to look good in bikinis in 12 weeks. I think I have ten? I’ve eaten nothing but leaves. Literally just leaves. I’ve listened to her tell me how ‘on it’ we need to be…then she TRIED TO EAT A FUCKING PROSECCO BUN INFRONT OF ME.

Fairytale: ‘I might need a bite of that bun..’

Me: ‘YOU FUCKING DON’T! I’m not eating leaves all day for you to then think you’ve gonna dip your finger in BUN, fueled by Prosecco!’

Yet it’s great because yesterday I ate no shit. I’m actually properly on it. Even when you’re not looking. I might have had a wine. But fuck it. I’m a glamour puss. Vino runs through my veins. But yes, i’m gonna get there. I can feel it. I must be loving the skinny life for Summer. Hustle Barbie (who is also on this diet) has saved Michelle Keegan in a bikini, as her phone screen saver for motivation and reminding me of ‘Voice Penis Recognition’ as she diets and Double B is carrying around this GINOROMOUS GYM JUG of water everywhere she goes. Not sure if she’s drinking it? But she’s carrying it…which is a start. (That’s after she’s put on her gym clothes and jogged to the bar with me and ‘full moons’ her water jug like a blow up doll.)

‘ALWAYS HALF MOON THE WATER JUG!! HALF MOON IT!’

‘I can’t. It always feels weird on my nose if I don’t put my mouth all the way around the top.’

We left ‘Double B’ unattended for 4 minutes and  we found her with Prosecco cup cake in her hand and prosseco cream all around her mouth. (Luckily for her, It’ll just go on her booty.) Unluckily for me…i’ll lose weight, but it will come off my FUCKING BOOBS. The money makers.

*WEEPS!*

Everyone seemed to have a case of the blues on Monday, didn’t they? But we perked up a treat yesterday. I had a good evening the night before last night. It was a night that made me beam from ‘ear to ear.’ I chilled with the babies, did the normal family stuff with them…and then I message chatted to a human that I actually seem to care about…a lot. Life’s too short to at least try to love, right? Remember you have nothing to lose. But yeah, it was great. So as we were both sat home chilling, across different parts of the world…we messaged. It’s the simple things.

Shit! I forgot to tell you that ‘Fairytale’ and I got properly told off yesterday. Lol. Now, ‘Fairytale‘ is a total ‘Teachers Pet,‘ a total ‘School Monitor‘ and would DIE before she got scorned by authority. I’m used to getting bollocked. 🙂 I shrug it off with laughter and a hip bump. I might even pour myself a rum to celebrate.

Anyway. I had said a naughty word…or described a sexual act…in the name of banter…It had something to do with tiny willies and wanking and feeding these tiny willies Digestives or something? 🙂 She was having this convo with me because I had made her…Lol…she was lulled into it via association..

AND WE TOTALLY GOT BOLLOCKED. LOL

I thought she might cry. But instead we BOTH almost cried with laughter.  No rum was poured. She loved getting bollocked. Hahaha!

Bottom line…GUYS SHOULDN’T SEND VIDEOS INTO WUNNA LAND of them wanking the tiniest willy my pure kitten eyes have ever seen and expect me not to say that i’m going to feed it biscuits to my friends. Lol.

HAHAHAHAHA!

Remember that

‘CHRISSIE IN THE CITY’

is still currently ‘live’ on the

ONLOOKR APP

(Download it now at onlookr.co.uk

My friends and I have opened up our private text messages for the public to read…so you can get 24/7 insight, in real time, into our world…which we call WUNNA LAND. You can even have our messages sent straight to your phone!!!

It’s never been done before…So enjoy it. We’re on Day Five and we’re now having a blast!

 

 

 

 

Do the things that make you happy! You only live once. Life an be taken away from you, just like that! Achieve your dreams, love hard, be bold, tell the people who you care about, that you care.

Do it in heels? 😉

 

 

 

 

Busy Times, Travel, New Apps & Blackpool

I don’t even know where to start. So much has happened, that it’s almost like a *blur.* In the last 72 hours, i’ve probably worked the hardest i’ve ever worked and travelled from city to city promoting all sorts of jiggery, to all sorts of people. It’s what I wished for right? And yeah, it’s not easy. But i’m a ‘non sulker.’  We just get on with it right? You don’t get anything without working hard and it’s the ones that put in the grind that get the rewards. (Blah, but true.) This is a really busy time in Wunna Land…I don’t even know where to begin…But it’s GREAT!

I’ve fitted in all sorts from work, to leaving do’s, to prosecco dripped afternoons, where we learnt that blowing up balloons that taste like salt is a sin, fanning yourself with used Mayo plates by surprise is disgusting, that we know how to spend almost a £100 on Pornstars Martinis in one round and that i’m shit at stalling people. Lol

‘Chrissie, just go out there and stop her from coming in her! We’re not ready!’

My lips have never been more chapped from balloon blowing. We blew like bitches. Double B turned into a balloon blowing Nazi and Hustle Barbie almost collapsed after gentle blowing ONE! Lol. However, i’m still smiling, so I must be okay. (Or an alcoholic? Who knows?)

There’s been trains, schedules, manic travelling, family birthdays, being mum, filming shows, starting new texting reality dramas for all of you to read and an event blog diary that is filling up all the way through to Autumn faster than I can *blink.* I even have a book to put together over the next few months.

I’ve shared gin and tonics with good friends and you know they’re great when they actually rush upstairs to get changed for the gym and then immediately fuck off the honing of a ‘Kardashian’ booty to jog to the bar to spend ‘G & T’ time with you. That’s what ‘Double B’ did. That is a good human. That’s what I call a glamour puss! It makes me glow knowing that she’s ace. I need beings like that in my world…ALWAYS. You need to be her.

There’s been up and downs, great times and exhaustion and I thought I was gonna feel really sorry for myself ( we always have those moments don’t we, where we all get scared, tired or worried) until my Mum sat me down and said,

‘I know you’re tired. I know it’s hard. I know you’re juggling a lot. And yeah, I hate seeing you think you can’t handle it. But you can. I’m proud of you. You are surrounded by great people, who support you madly. You have one shot at opportunity…and this is your shot…don’t blow it, go for it…In the end, you’ll be beaming. Remember how lucky you are. Stay completely earthed. I love you. I love you more than anything. Go for it.’

Anyway, with that in my head and after a really long work week, I kissed the babies ‘bye’ and shot off on a train to Blackpool to go see one of my good friend Liam Halewood (He’s a singer and entertainer…He did the Xfactor and we’ve become besties, after Lisa Appleton introduced us. ) He’s gay. I’m his token hottie friend. You get it. Booyah! Gin for everyone!

My girls, Liam and I had been texting each other the whole day. (Our private text messages are currently ‘live’ on the Onlookr App for ‘Chrissie in the City’…Where you now get direct insight into my life 24/7, with our messages delivered straight to your phone. It’s had such a mad buzz  on Twitter. I’m not gonna tell you it’s easy, because it’s not and i’m used to having my ‘privates tellings’ splashed all over for the cyber world to read. But I will tell you it’s fun.. It’s a story to tell. Once we get going, we’re ace and I’m really grateful that I have such good friends. I mean that. I really mean that. PS/ Thank you… You’re wonderful.) At this moment in time. I’d say, we’re really lucky.

But yeah, I slept all the way up to Blackpool with messages coming in galore, weird tramps next to me who kept shouting out the word ‘Pussy’ (they had their kids next to them also…delicious,) time was going slowly and i had a message from a production company who are working on a Channel 4 show, that I want to be on. They asked me to call them pronto. It made me feel giddy!

I had zero charge on my phone, so  I just couldn’t do it. OFCOURSE. I don’t like trains without chargey spots. Infact, you know when they say ‘Divas’ always have ‘high maintenance’ requests…like..

‘I’ll only have green M & M’s and Gin & Tonic flavoured crisps please..’

(Yes, you can get them. 😉 )

My ONLY EVER requests are..

‘There needs to be an alcoholic beverage of any kind, but not a shot, free wifi and phone charger points close to me, at all times.’

(Sorry, i’m pissing myself. It’s still Junior’s birthday weekend and their both still up having a ‘dance party’ in the next room, after an entire day at Sundown Adventure land. They’re cute. I LOVE THEM. It’s late. But whatever, I’m soft. You’re only 4 once. 🙂 )

As soon as I got off the Leeds train to Blackpool, life just lit up! I was ready. I’d had a nap. Lol. I was excited to see Liam and there he was with a hug. (Even though we just stood there talking , accidentally at the front of the taxi queue, waiting for a his hubby Lee to come get us, as other people formed an orderly queue behind us and waited for ages for a cab.)

‘Ooh shit sorry! We didn’t realize you were waiting for a taxi! We’re just chatting. Lol.’

Got back to Liam’s and chilled it for a bit, as we caught up with Lee his hubbster, I had an a phone call audition to tend to, so i scheduled that in and did it on speaker as I got completed naked and got changed into a ‘going to dinner’ dress and then we slagged all the new Big Brother contestants off. Well…I did. Liam’s nicer than I am. Lol. (When he’s not pissed. Lol.) I’m the opposite. I’m nicer when drunk and yeah i’d say heavily down to earth but naturally SASSY when sober. 🙂  I have no problem telling you what i honestly think.

(‘Fairytale Blond’ has just ruined Sunday by reminding me of our ‘next week’ work schedule. She wanted to share her pain with me and remind me that we’re both on some hardcore diet from now on. Lol. We’re too hot to work that hard. Honest! Why is she ruining Sunday? 🙂  We have one day off…that has already been scheduled out to Gino’s Restaurant in Leeds. For the next 12 days straight, i will be with ‘fairytale.’ She’s put us all on diets! Lol) 

Anyway, great hour long phone audition done, our friend Aaron stopped by, Liam got changed, as he was filming his Facebook Live ‘Liam’s Corner of the Couch’  thing with a singing gig to follow and I dashed into my dress, hopped in the car and we all headed for dinner at the Waves Bistro.

Great place, because it’s so chilled yet so lovely.  As soon as you walk in it’s filled with ambiance, which I love and beautiful seaside detail. Like our table was glass covered, with internally filled with soft sand, that had scattered real sea shells and stones in. I loved it. It was warm. Well appointed. Had things like a sensor lighthouse on the walls and new fittings with decadent glamourous rooms. His hotel has actual been on the Channel 4 show ‘Four Beds..’ and it won!

Matt the owner..

‘I love that picture..’

‘Which one…? Oh that one of me casually in a bath in a barn! lol’

…came to greet me immediately with the biggest smile and the greatest most down to earth manner. Not snooty at all. I love that! I felt at home straight away…then asked for a Prosecco and a phone charger point. 🙂 He couldn’t be more easy to get on with and when youre easy to get on with and have a bottle of bubbles in your hand, i’m probably going to be your bestie…

Liam was setting up for his ‘Liam’s corner of the couch’ interview with ME. I was shitting myself for no reason..and now guzzling wine. Aaron was looking through menu’s. Then we all whammed in steak food orders…

‘Yeah, the steak, no fat..’

‘No blood..’

‘I don’t mind blood…No carbs, so just veg…’

‘Do you do fish?’

Then we filmed the show. I watched Liam chitter chatter for a bit. I talked shit in the live interview with him, where I talked Paris Hilton, Steven Bartlett for a bit…and we all sat down with Matt the owner over the most delicious starters (I had the roasted bell pepper) and steak mains. I’d go again…and I hardly ever say that! It just felt lovely and I always go on how places make me feel. It’s the manner of the joint.

Best Service ever…Best company ever. Even the noisy ‘when we were filming’ Geordies were ace.

‘How do we shut them up?’

Delicate sea shelled tables, light Prosecco pours, perfectly cooked steak and right by the beach at the coast. Who knew Waves Bistro existed? He’s done a fasntatstic job. That will be one of the BEST places in Blackpool. Everything had been modernized in the warmest way. I mean the staff couldn’t be more chilled and polite. No wonder it won awards. I did selfies with Matt, by a lighthouse wall. He deserved them.

Then all was said and done…we’re ordering taxi’s to take us to the next hotel for Liam’s gig and..

*PAP/PAP/PAP/PAP/PAP*

*PAP/PAP/PAP/PAP/PAP/PAP/PAP*

*PAP/PAP*

And that was non stop upon exit, until they nearly got run over, by a taxi.

‘Who are you dating? Are you off on Big Brother?’

I’m great with all that though. It all helps. 😉

Got to next hotel and could finally just chill! Aaron and I watched Liam do his set and he’d down played it to me like he was shit, but he was AMAZING.

We drank, we laughed, we drank, we laughed, we got our Tina Turner on, then were joined by Kyle (he’s Aaron’s friend and a Wunna fan, so he’s already a favourite) and we committed to a night of debauchery.

Got out that hotel…

*PAP/PAP/PAP/PAP/PAP* 

But by then it was a blast. We were all ‘tell it how it is’ and  sweary. For the most expressive human, I was great and graceful and all ‘I don’t know sir?’ 

We all jumped into a cab, I plonked on Liam’s Playboy comfies. (I love comfies more than anything in the world.) I text all my chick friends to make sure life was all in tact and sent a guy I was thinking about a message, AFTER ORDERING DOMINOS AT 2 AM in the morning.

Great nights sleep. Did my face in a Apple Desktop computer screen the next morning. I had such a great time. I couldn’t have been looked after better. It meant a lot. It made me smile. I can’y wait to go again.

Got straight back in the afternoon, after coffee, banter and a cheeseburger by Balamory looking Houses. All I wanted was to see the babies after such a tough week of work. I love work. I love my friends. I’m grateful for everything. But i love my baby time. I’m in charge of making sure they’re great adults…Its a huge thing for me. I do it well by making them feel special. No…I do it the best I can….All parents do, with our fingers crossed.

Got back to Leeds, texted everyone…and then I slept…

I’ll be back on track tomorrow. Ill have a good blog. I’m just so knackered. I need extra shut eye. x Diet starts tomorrow, as my friends and I ALL have bikinis to get into.

Life is changing. Good things are happening. It’s a shock. But if you don’t take it too seriously and enjoy the ride, its not so shabby.

DON’T FORGET THAT MY BEST FRIENDS AND i HAVE OPENED UP OUT PRIVATE TEXT MESSAGES FOR 10 DAYS ONLY, FOR THE PUBLIC TO READ….OPENLY.

THEY ARE CURRENTLY ‘LIVE’ ON THE ONLOOKR APP for ‘CHRISSIE IN THE CITY’ and there’s no better way to get an actual insight to what we really goes on in Wunna land.

Download the app NOW!

You’ve missed loads.

Onlookr.co.uk