Monday

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Hi, my delicious dips of  things things McYummy fest! Monday rocked, didn’t it? I woke up KNACKERED, due to the whole clocks moving forward situation. However, all of that is simply mind over matter. Our bodies CAN actually handle waking up an hour earlier, yet because we all know that we’re waking up an hour earlier, we moan on about it, and feel sorry for ourselves, as that is human nature. But Monday, rocked. Happy day at work. Worked hard. Worked well. Worked amongst amazing people who make me inappropriately smile everyday. I’m lucky. I mean, there were odd moments of ‘rude, fun and laughter’…yet i’ve decided that whenever you’re in Bunny ears…and i was totally in bunny ears…life just isn’t that bad. Nor is it very serious, when making executive decisions.

Lots is going on right now. The lashes are doing well. But i’m getting inundated with messages from gents all over the world? Now, I don’t mean that in an ‘ooh look at me i’m such a delight’ kind of way. I actually do find it flatteringly odd, as I’m just this chick in Ponty, doing my best with (like I always say) the 100 years that i hope i’ve been granted. Yet, you all seem to love it? Even the odd ones…with bells on. To this day, I have no clue why and i have no idea why this blog is even popular? But i’m going with it, simply because i’m a playful egomaniac, with a need to express. (This would be better with wine. *Wiggle, wink.*) I guess you’ve all either bumped life paths with me, know me, follow me or have decided to ride my ups and downs with me…and boy have i rode them. I mean, I can’t even believe that i’ve written this blog in particular since 2008…and I wrote it on Myspace for years before that! (That’s when it was good, as I was a foolish 20 something year old in need of love and attention. I went to town on everything and because I wasn’t scared too. When you get older, you think more and take the mildy sensible route when you can…and that’s saying something for me, as if you know me personally…i’m NUTS…i’m not that sensible at all. I mean, I’m not at all a fucking idiot…nut i’m not that far off being a tool. :) I’m a happy tool though. *Adjust bunny ears.*)

My weekend was just about family. I spent it with the babies, m mum etc.. and shopped. I’ve done a lot of cocktailing and i’m about to partake in more i’m sure, during the bank holiday…so i needed the babies to keep my balance a float. It’s hard being a single mum as right now, even though they love each other, BOY DO THEY FIGHT. They fight for love and attention. My attention. And simply because there’s just me. I’m Mummy. I’m Daddy, Their best friend. They’re everything. But i’m working full time and making my dreams come true for their future ‘easy life.’ And that’s why i encourage all Mums doign the same to stand tall, lock arms with all of us strong dolls spiritually and get to it. You can have everything. Life, love and work. I mean, like I was saying to ‘the boy’ that i’m talking to (yes, we’re still doing great) Men need women…they can’t help it. It doesn’t matter if we’re a mum, a gran, an assistant, a mistress, a wife, lover, girlfriend, daughter or mate….they need a women in their life to survive, whereas us chicks, are simply quite self sufficient these days. We always have been, haven’t we? So, incase you’re a lady going through a lot. Don’t be the victim, as bad shit happens, it happens to us all and in life, even though i’ve been blessed enough to have a wonderful life…shit things have happened. I’ve lived and when you live fully, a balance of good and bad things have usually  happened to you. I’m the chick that will always brush herself off, re evaluate the way I feel and get on with it…smiling. Don’t play the victim or wallow in a pity party. It’ snot sexy. Guys don’t want to put a ring on that girl. :)

I still need a massage. I’m happy. I need a wine. I’m blogging from my bed sheets again and i’m doing better than ever.

I’m working hard, enjoying myself and encouraging you to do so too. No one can do your life better than you. If there is only one thing you are good at…it’s being you. Celebrate it. Bruises n’all! Hit bullet points, have goals, don’t wallow in pity parties. (By all means thrown them..as tantrums are hot…yet get over them…and ficus on what fucking matters. I hate whiney, victim type folk, but only because i struggle to relate to them..and i’m not army strong. I’m just open, honest, expressive and not afraid.

I’m sort of in the mood for a snog right now, and have no one here to kissy kissy face with.  Annoying…but i’ll live. :)

Monday rocked.

Roll on Tuesday…

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We got Issues….

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Morning folks!

So, yeah after passing out in utter sleepiness…(I know, it’s not even sexy passing out when you’ve drunk dialed, had too many cocktails and suffered from a broken heart…I was just tired,) I managed to wake up refreshed at 7am Saturday morning.

I rolled over, found everything laid the way it wanted to be laid, realized that I must’ve enjoyed a lay in as it was so Spring Bright outside…and well…I did what every Glamour Puss with a need for attention does…and that was Tweet, look at m Facebook and realise that I didn’t drink my wine. (Which i contemplated finishing.)

Whilst I was a sleep, I guess so much happened? I read a Google search from the boy who wants to be my slave. He had sent me a couple notes on what being a ‘Dom’ was like. HAHAHA. Only I could need notes on such a task. I guess it takes out the thrill of it all for him. But saying that, I’m busy and well ‘boy slave’ is way down my list of ‘to do’s’ right now. But i’m still very flattered…and mainly because i’m an attention whore. It’s weird because people see me as ‘Dommy’ and i’m quite Bubbly Barbie, with a slash of playful lunacy. Yet, i’m highly intrigued as to how people view me, when they read a blog, see a picture, yet haven’t managed to get their life path to properly clash with mine, in person.

Then a guy, I guess it’s a guy on Twitter, who’s named ‘Horny Boy’ (who is quite lovely to me, via his Tweets and that’s the only way I know of him) had sent me a Tweet stating that he was going to do a Chrissie Wunna ‘cum tribute.’ HAHAHA. Now, I have no clue what that is, but i find it hilarious. Lord knows, what it’s going to occur…yet I’m fucking ‘CUM TRIBUTE’ are you? :) I mean, it’s not even 9am in the morning yet?

Then as soon as I rolled over, skimmed my Tweets and messages, my phone rang and it was ‘the boy.’ He’s just woken up and right on cue, there he was…calling a ‘Wunna.’ (I like that.) We’d both just woken up. I sounded like a drag queen, he sounded like a serial killer :) and yeah life was good once more. Most humans talk about Spring and birds chirping at 7am. Nope…we talked about nuclear weapons, black people, war, chicken balls, eyelashes, work, paydays and dates….maybe even porn stars? He then told me that I was ‘too posh’ to be ghetto. I CAN BE GHETTO. I say ‘innit’ and drink cocktails in cans! That’s ghetto…it’s bouji ghetto. It’s hip hop McSwiggedy ghetto. It’s swirled in my specialty..glamour. Anything else is chav. :) And am soooooooo not chav. (Horrid little blighters.) I also told him that in Yorkshire, we call a pint of Stella, a ‘wife beater’ and explained why. He told me he once down a bottle of vodka so now can’t drink it. We all have that drink don’t we? The one that reminds us of being pissed and heartbroken, that we can longer enjoy it. Mine’s tequila. If i ever do a shot of it, I’m flashbacked straight back to LA…it’s the evening…i’m in West Hollwood, at The Abbey, a gay bar, in a green coat and a neon green hat, which had a pink stripe. I’m in neon yellow heels (lol) a short skirt and in pig tails. I felt liek Ryan (who i fancied at the time) didn’t love me, so i drank LOADS, (at his actual work, as he worked there as a bartender, because he wanted to be an actor, but ti was fine as i knew everybody) and i ended up passed out on a merry go around, outside a police station in West Hollywood..after a TEQUILA DANCE. Luckily, THE GAYS and this is why i love them…came to my rescue and saved me. I was picked up by four gay men, gently like i was a goddess in pain and CARRIED to one of their cars. They all drove me home and CARRIED me to the condo that I was living in with Greg, my lawyer roommate…(he did pills) and placed me on the sofa to sleep. One of them even complimented my pedicure. ‘Ooh doesn’t she have nice toes.)

Then Greg made an appearance, a drunken one as he had also gone out on the razzle, but he was just in a pair of white pants. The Gays go excited and well, when i said placed me down safely on the sofa, I just meant chucked me on the sofa, like I was  DEAD BODY, just to flirt with Greg. It was hilarious. I used to live next door to a guy who in Maroon Five. (I have to type it as the number doesn’t work on my laptop.) He watched them carry me up the drive and just pissed himself laughing a bush.

Anyway, that was one of my nights, of being Chrissie Wunna. :)

Moving on……….

Now, I’m getting ready, well i am read to drive to Doncaster to see my psychic and well usually when I go, i’m all open minded with a ‘tell me what you know’…as i’m never really frustrated, in a dilemma or anything. I just enjoy it, it comforts me. Cherry (my psychic is amazing.) Today however, i have questions. But whenever she reads me she tells me the rest of my life is charmed and that i have the best bright future ever, to the point where in which she hasn’t done such a great reading in months. I think i told you that though?

Alongside that, I have two lash packages to send out to celebrities who have REQUESTED THEM. Yay! AND, then Keiran is going to drop the babies off with my Mum, who will travel them down to Doncaster to meet me! My BABIES. I LOVE THEM. Nothing in the world matters to me as much as those little lumps of love that I created. Everything i do…is pretty much for them, even if it doesn’t seem that way. But i still have fun and you need to, in order to feel whole and be a great mum.

I look good today. (Be jel.) :)

I feel sexy today. (Find your sexy.)

I’m off work for the weekend…. (If you’re not, i send you my love.)

Life is pretty darn great!

Love you bitches…

Pout x

(Oh go on, I’ll stick a rudey picture up, simply because it’s Saturday. Freakin’ weekend. If you’ve got it…..flaunt it..at the right times. )

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Forget this blog…:)

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[Right! Before this blog starts, know that I tried to write it at 10pm last night. I had gobbled up a burrito, finished a whole entire week/month of work, had a bunch of wine and woken up at 7am this morning (Saturday) with my baby pink laptop still open, where I had been typing, a wine glass still full on my bedside table and my phone just dangling out my arm. :) I must’ve totally fallen asleep mid typing and not even realised. That is why it is ace… :) ) ]

PROCEED….

I had an amazing day at work today. It was just one of those days filled with giddiness, where i felt fun, naughty and loud. Friday gets the better of me because I reward myself for working hard all week. The last Friday  of the month does me over good and proper, in the excitement stakes and I turn all ‘waa…wooo….weee’ and celebrate life with a ‘oooh yeah baby.’

At work…we all just get on really really well and without even trying…and because of that, we sort of end up being like this happy, dysfunctional family. Work was good today. It flew by! :) Plus, the boy that i’ve been talking to, messaged me in the middle of the day, just to remind me of his existence and his life on goings…which always makes me smile.

I actually committed hardcore good deeds today. I bought ‘new hire’ Bev a ‘Welcome and it’s also your birthday’ bag full of gifts, that we’re beautifully gift wrap by Ange and kept secret by Jenna. THEN I purchased Adam, who i often refer to as ‘Baby Ads’ a mini beer fridge, simply because I had felt so proud of him for finding a new home of his own…so quickly.

I’m a generous soul and I just think when you care about others and treat them like you care…good things naturally happen to you. Plus, it just makes me happy, knowing that even for a second, I could’ve made someone feel a tad bit more special. ;) I’m good like that…and also really fucking great at drinking.

Annyway. I’m not out tonight. I’m home and because nothing felt better than getting home from a full months work, throwing myself out of work clothes and relaxing into pj’s immediately for a night of ‘mega chillington.’ Awwwwwwwwwwwwwww..it feels good! I’ve eaten shit, relaxed and just enjoyed ME TIME for the entire evening and embraced every single, waking second of it. I’m shattered. OH, i’m shattered. But that’s the beauty of chill Friday. It’s the weekend and i’m loving it! I just feel really happy. Y’know, when everything in your life seems great.

I have good people in my life right now.

Other than that, I’ve talked to ‘the boy’…the babies at at Keiran’s, My Mum brought me a burrito, my ankle hurts, i’ve accidentally cut my arm, the ‘slave’ guy sent me an attachment to my messenger to outline what he exactly meant by all the sexy hoo haaa. I’ve been convincing another human being that I can be ‘ghetto’ if I wanted to be and that i’m not ‘too posh’ to be ‘hood.’ I don’t own any trainers. I’ve only had half a bottle of wine. I’m blogging from my bed (wiggle wink) and tomorrow at 10am, i’ll be sat in a dark room in Doncaster, visiting my psychic.

Right, so I have a really good psychic and well she said that in the Spring of this year I would meet my ‘forever’ love….like i told you in the last blog. She also told me that my life would now be charmed. That i’d done the hard parts and that I’m pretty much graduated with flying colours as the rest of my reading was one of the best readings she had done in months!

I know what I want to ask her, but i don’t know what ‘the spirits’ will have in store for me. Nonetheless…i’m excited. Everything she has told me has come true.  Aac …….this is where i must have fallen asleep :) (Granny Wunna)

 

 

 

 

Starbucks Nipples & Hand Jobs?

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So there i’ve been, working away and neglecting you all a tiny little bit, due to normal daily work duties and Mummyhood, dashed with a side cocktails..and what have you done? You’ve all Googled the most randomest shit and found chrissiewunna.com.

Today, the top search via Google, which directed traffic, people and hungry eyes to my blog was ‘Starbucks Nipples?’ WTF? I mean, I love Starbucks and I have nipples…(luckily not beef burger ones) yet I can’t imagine what kind of random coffee porn you were all trying to find. I mean, it’s not even that mucky. It’s just odd. Probably how you got here really. It’s a blog for the misfits, the jollies and the doo daahs!.

Fair enough, ‘Chrissie Wunna’ was the second top search. But i can’t even begin to dare tell you what some of the other ‘searches’ were, yet the last one was ‘Hand job.’ At least it ended on a ‘happy.’ *Wiggle, wink.*

But yes, well done. I don’t care how you find this blog, just well done for going with it and stopping by. *Do wine here.*

Lots has been going on. Work is great. The lash line is coming on strong. I’ve drank lots. I’ve mummied lots. I’ve been social and I’ve been talking to a boy. I KNOW…major step forward much. Yes, i’m a talker. I talk. Yet, without me even realizing, but totally even realizing ;) i’ve found myself waking up in the morning and chatting on the phone to a being and as soon as i’ve clocked off work for the day, picking up my phone, or answering my phone to the same being, until bed. I KNOW! Sooo, this is good. Right? And how? Simply by accident and totally via Twitter. That’s how it’s started. And it isn’t weird, or pervy, or bizarre. Its actually really (lol) refreshing, hilarious and completely natural. We’ve chatted about literally EVERYTHING. Big things. Small things. Wordy things. Family. Work. Life. Nonsense. Cracked up and been moody. The lot. And I know it must be sort of good :) simply because it’s still going…AND i’m being secretive about it, in a non sort of secretive way. Like i’m not actually telling you too much about it…i’m just myself, watching, chatting, observing, but most of all enjoying. Watch this space. I’m totally crushing on him right now…If i knew him properly….i’d love him. (That’s just how i roll. HAHAH. Like a leaf off a tree.)

I still hate my feet. The guy that wants to be my slave has done ‘sad face’ emoji’s at me, stating that it would surely be HIS choice, if he wanted to spoil me. I guess that’s true. But i was just being nice to him. I mean ‘jeeze’ lol. I once had a guy come up to me in a gay bar in London, when i lived there (in London that is and not the Gay bar) and he kept being my ‘slave’ all night. I didn’t find it fun at all. I actually found it really boring and mildy difficult to tell him what to do all the time. I mean, he wouldn’t even sip his drink UNLESS I TOLD HIM TO. It got tedious. In the end i ordered this random man who decided to become my gay slave….to simply go home. Then some douche grabbed me on the dance floor…without my consent (i’m sure he was on pills) and started throwing me through the air, as part of his dance routine to The Saturdays. UGH! (People always see me and want to pick me up.)

Anyway, I’m still not talking to Keiran, the children are happy, still normal (thank the Lord) and loving life, i’m being social, I’m working hard every day and my lash line is doing great!

Lots of you, (as in girls) are sending me messages about your stale love lives right now and well all I can say to you is to not stress. Boys will be boys and if they adore you and want you, THEY WILL CHASE YOU, SHOW YOU AND GET YOU. If they don’t…they’re not that bothered, or insecure about the pull. Neither is interesting. So, girls, it is BEST that you turn your frown upside down and get happy..quick. Boys don’t want to even bone miserable chicks, let alone ‘do forever’ with ones that act crazy before they’ve even decided to date you. (Save the ‘crazy’ for later..like a surprise. :) ) Stay cool, stay calm, know you’re worth, be CONFIDENT that you are wonderful and enjoy yourself. Focus of you. They will come if they adore you.

I’m naturally quite confident. Naturally playful…a bit of a clown, yet loving, silly and smart. I work hard. I know that any guy would be lucky to have me. But really…i do and I embrace that feeling.  :)I mean, i wish more of you girls would feel that way, as  i promise you, that GUYS actually do LOVE THAT in women. They DO. They really really do! Be independent, confident and fun. Yet be lovely, and still a girl. BE YOU. No matter what kind of guy you date, I always feel as though men,  want to take care of the girl who wins their heart…It’s their natural instinct. And i don’t mean BUY YOU THINGS, before you all start. LOL. I mean, stand by you and nurture you. Cheer lead you on. Care for you. Treat you. Romance you. I’ve been married hundreds of times (Oops..’i’m not a player, I just crush a lot :) )  and dated loads of great guys, rubbish guys, just guys…all over the world and if i can still stand up tall and be able to be giddy about love, than you can! PULL yourselves together, slip into something a wee bit ‘kitten’ and enjoy being everything that makes you YOU.

PLUS, let’s not get it twisted, here. Love isn’t simply based upon the way you look. (I know, this is stuff you know already, yet sometimes we’ve just got to be reminded.) It’s all about how ace you are :) and how great your connection is with the person you desire. Love is about heart. It’s not money, fame, stature, age or lust. It’s about friendship, that bond, yes a physical attraction, as you’ve got to have good sex :)…family…as they become your family…but mainly heart, energy and that ever so important connection. If you have that connection…then your sailing with nipple tassles on. (That’s a good thing by the way. :) )

Anyway, i’m off to work. It’s Friday and no one’s stressed on Friday. We’re headed into the weekend and baby it feels gooooooooooooooood.

Love you.

Thanks for following my life…You’ve actually done it for ages. ;)

 

 

 

 

 

 

A 3am Bant off!

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UGH!!!

It’s 3am and I can’t sleep. I’ve been to sleep, as I dropped off early, but now my little kitten eyes are open! *Waaaa*

Right now, nothing is worse then being awake, as the outside is still being dark, there is no excitement going on around me and I have a full day of work ahead of me, with an alarm set for six in the morning. *Waaaa*

I mean, i’ve poured a red wine in order to try and knock myself out. So, this must mean I have my mind is not settled, like there’s something deciding to tipper tap upon it, as all you lot are fricking asleep and i’m laid awake! *Waaaa*

The babies are in my bed because the couldn’t sleep in their own. I’m sat up blogging in the dark, with my geek glasses on, topless, but with leopard print pj bottoms on. I kinda look like a whorey…granny, who can’t see. My mind is mixing and swirling with array of thought and  flash back…so I’m doing what any girl with a glamour pussy exterior would do and that is Google (no, not myself :) ) but ‘Pink Thrones.’

Why don’t i own a pink throne? But like really. I should own a pink throne. I’m not kidding. I need to tell that guy who wanted to awkwardly be my slave that I now have things for his ‘wishlist’… (Rolls eyes.)

Incase, you don’t know what i’m on about, men will often send me messages asking to be my ‘slave’ and they ask to PAY to talk to me or purchase me things. It’s annoying as I pride myself on being Miss.Independant…and I AM. *Wiggle…Sizzle.* So, firstly, i don’t really need a ‘slave’ LOL…and secondly, funnily enough, I just don’t believe in doing that to people. HAHA. It’s bad karma girls. Don’t use boys, even if they tell you they love it, for material objects that you can work for and buy YOURSELF. You really will feel much better for it. I feel powerful when i get a pay cheque, or it’s the last working day of the month. It feels great! You don’t need a ‘piggy’ or a slave unless they want to buy you a magical pink galactic Lamborghini? That’s always completely fine. *Purr*

I’m a bit of a diva and a bit of a princess, so a romantic treat is always a delight from a being who adores you. Let’s not forget that we’re girls and girls love to be treated well. Yet it’s different when it turns into ‘just using’ lol, isn’t it? But it’s not like i’m telling you things you don’t already now. Sorry for being so preachy, but fuck it, it’s 3am, I’m awake and you’re not…and i’m jealous. :) No, honestly, i’ve had many a boy take advantage of my exceedingly generous nature… In fact, LOTS of boys….including my ex husband. So, i’m allowed a 3am rant. Aren’t you? (Shit, it’s 3.40am now. *Waaa.*)

I’m laughing my head off at the fact that I have a six o clock alarm waiting for my attention and a work day that begins at 8.30am. I’m going to be bush whacked! I’m going to be knackered.

More importantly…

I’ve decided to hate my feet. I hate them. They look all ‘ouchy’ like they’e been in really great shoes all their life, yet totally strutted out. :) Now, I don’t have bad feet. I have little feet. But the do look tired, like they need a wine and a sit down. My big toes are a bit slanty to be honest, due to pointy type shoes and being a ballet dancer when I was little. So, i’m getting toe seperators (sexy I know) to make sure they’re alignment is fixed, as apparently it will affect my balance when i’m older and my ligaments in my ankles? *Waaa*

(Awww, Junior’s just rolled over in his sleep and kissed me. YAY!)

I’m happy and i’m whole and i’m feeling really lucky. I mean, i really am beaming, even though it’s some kind of weird o clock and i’m up. My body feels tense like it needs a good rub down and i’m charmed that so many of you have offered. But you don’t mean it because you’re not here or don’t know me in real life lol…so it doesn’t count, as much. :) But i’m a flattered. So don’t quit adoring me. I’d die. :) I sometimes get messages asking about my ex hubby, (As in Keiran, now Mike. Mike has proper fans.) I don’t speak to Keiran at all anymore, due to his poor judgement and ill manners. Lol. I love manners and well let me just say, i’m as warm as can be and pretty tolerant as a being, in general. I’ll laugh things off before i get all huffy. Yet verbal abuse is not the best foot forward when trying to re enter Wunna land. LOL. Not that hard to figure out.

This is a happy camp, an unpoppable bubble filled with love, strength, success and laughter. Filled with family. It takes a great deal to regain my attention once it’s gone and in that area..with him…and for ages now, due to him being so rude…..it’s gone. I don’t even talk to him when it comes to rearranging baby moments. I make him contact The Great Wunna before me. MY MOTHER. LOL.

Basically, it’s okay to have a story, a background and it to be filled with colour, sin and life. I’m cool with that and will stand there for anyone with open arms and ears…and a champagne spritzer. YET, for those that are so blinded by secret negativity, who just can’t be helped, you kinda just got to say ‘see ya’ and go on being Fabulous, whole and not let it damage your flow. I’m an uplifting soul. I’m here to make people HAPPY. I’m happy. My world couldn’t feel any better right now. The babies and I feel like Heroes. *Victory air punch.*

Annyway..rant over.

I was really knackered last night so went to bed early, but i’m sure my mum was over, (she always pops in, ALWAYS, we’re close) and well i’m sure she tried to force me to eat noodles?

Anyway, i’ll be able to sleep now i’ve spurted out some of my brain junk. It’s like an ‘empty.’ :) *Giggles*

I’ll have a bit of wine just to make sure…and well…i’ll see you in the morning. Round 2.

Hellooo Tuesday! (My Monday was ace by the way. Work rocked.) If you do anything this Tuesday, inspire someone!

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Just a quickie

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So this weekend was the weekend where in which i met up with my new hire Hayley for afternoon, ‘Welcome to Wunna land’ cocktails and got soo pissed that I passed out in all my clothes, including my actual coat and leopard print heels, still, face down in bed and by six o clock…in the afternoon, after meeting her for cocktails at noonish. I intended on going out that night in Pontefract, yet instead I had a giant accidental, drunken strunken sleep..which was weirdly beneficial. I woke up feeling great. (After puking out my skittle cocktail and putting my fingers in my ears to the crazy Latin beats of Ricky Martin. Don’t get me wrong. I LOVE a bit of Ricky Martin, but you plonk ‘La vida loca’ on when you’re hungover. I swear to you, it is the music of THE DEVIL. It hurt my head, but i continued to play it simply to punish myself. :) Whatever, I believe in fun.)

I was set to meet Hayley at 12.30 noon. FOR LUNCH. Lunch turned into just drinking, (that happens) and for some reason i wasn’t content with us just having a drink or two and believed that buying every cocktail on the entire menu was a MUST….a fucking must…with shots. UGH. :) *Glitter bomb here*

We exchanged gifts, got really great service at RELISH Doncaster (which was our haunt of choice) and well I had gotten there early, so i had my first cocktail of the day at 11.49am. Never good..when intending to stay moderately sane and sober. 11.49am is a shit time of day anyway, so you might as well spice it up with a ‘Bahama Mama.’ Right?

We just got silly and silly is something that I know I do well. HOWEVER, it seems that Hayley is pretty God Damn good at ‘acting a fool’ also. Always good. Always dangerous, when armed with a Wunna.

 

 

Drinks were poured, a little bit of business was chatted about, more drinks were poured. Random grannies with their nails did, appeared out of nowhere…and we gave her a prosecco before she missed her bus. We dealt with the heaviest cocktail in all the land. We selfied. We belly giggled. Infact, laughter, love and life were talked about, before..more business….more cocktails…and more basic drunkeness. My phone got charged. I love bars that charge your phone for you and OMG, we accidentally GOT REALLY DRUNK. Relish loved us being there. People always love me showing up places and drinking because i act like a complete tool.A glamourous tool though. I mean, look at this shit..:)

WOWSERS! :) PMSL

It was cool to do afternoon drinks, as when you order early booze, it makes everyone else in the bar feel okay with ordering their boozy beverages also. Everyone quits trying to be polite and just gets down to drinking. I made the whole of Relish believe drinking at such an hour was completely acceptable….with selfies. It is never acceptable to drink at 11.49am, you end up passing out in your coat by six in the afternoon.

God, we got pissed. I know, I keep sayin it, but it’s because i can’t believe how it popped out of nowhere.

In fact, hardly any business was talked about and instead we just had fun. THIS IS WHY WE CAN’T BE LEFT TO OUR OWN DEVICES. I mean, holy Shit, Graham, Haley’s husband had to turn up JUST to look after us, because we were all trollied and foolish, under the misconception that we were fine and ace.

Lots of fun though. I mean, my day started off pretty bland, with coffees at Starbucks and boring ‘tick tock’s’ that could’ve made watching paint drips dry exciting. By the time I got to Relish, life spritzed up a bit and it all got jazzed up, with high kicks and everything. I’m definitely never drinking again though, (*Slurps her wine*) as i do truly despise feeling like crap.

Sunday was great because I had slept so much the evening before that chill time and Mummy time with the babies was glorious. .

 

I took the  the Babies to lunch with my Mama and had this amazing day chatting on the phone to the new…well…i’m not exactly sure how to define it, but it’s AMAZINGLY hilarious. :) It’s like a bizarre yet fulfilling situation that I don’t think i could live without. :) I’m impressed, humoured and well happy.

Let’s just say..if this was or is a relationship on it’s way to being built with big old solid, glitter bricks, instead of shitty bits of crumble bricks…then i’ve never done it in this manner before and for the first time i’m hooked and on someone’s manner, brain and personality. It’s weird because i feel like i’m a part of their life without…well..like i said, it’s a funny, happy yet difficult thing to explain.

But don’t be alarmed. It’s actually really great. It cracks me up, makes me smile and all the rest of life turns rosy. But i’m like that aren’t I. Like a leaf off a tree dolls. It’s bizarre, but i’m happy ad being happy is what it’s all about,. That’s what life is about.

So yeah, there’s so much i could tell you about all this but right now i won’t. Lol.

I have a full week of work and i’m loving it. I’m tired, but satisfied and truly grateful to have things on track and running smoothly :) As everyone does, I learn a lot about myself on a daily and for once i’m looking and i’m loving every inch of what I represent. I’m doing great and i’m smiling…. and Kittens…it feels amazing.

Love you. I’m knackered.

Out!

 

 

 

The GNH (My new favourite cocktail haunt)

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Right so on Saturday, i was determind to make my weekend worth something. I’m like that. I need to feel as though i’ve lived. I’m a fun bunny. A girl who will impulsively throw ‘have a go’ at life and love every single moment of it. My Friday was shit, so Saturday morning i decided that was it…i was headed to London to do the cocktail hour at The GNH (The Great Northern Hotel) which is situated right at Kings Cross station. How handy, right?

I had previously stayed their before and wasn’t staying the night this time as I needed to get back to Yorkshire for Mothers day, to spoil and BE spoilt. And well, during my stay I had actually found the place DIVINE. Like i honestly believe that it is the BEST BOUTIQUE hotel i have ever been to. The service is first class, five star and the quality of food, drink, bar design and comfy beds…is fabulous!!! PLUS, i enjoy that they remembered me from before. That makes a big different to me as i am a complete ego maniac. :)

The last time i resided there I was reviewing the ‘Forbidden Nights’ boys show…and i had simply done cocktails there with Emily (who is now in Bermuda) for kicks, yet i never forgot how great the place was and how fantastic the customer service was. Not to mention how hot the staff were. :)

I had been to London every weekend after and stayed at The Mayfair (like you do) yet like I said, I never ever forgot how much I adored The Great Northern.

Soooooooo, this Saturday, I decided to rock up, well get on a train and do their cocktail hour, which starts at 2pm on a Saturday. The immediately remembered me,s at me down made me feel sooo incredible special, in the best booth in the house. (It felt so VIP) and almost every manager and every member of staff came across to my booth to greet me, be lovely to me, welcome me back and show me a cocktail list. I loved that and because of that i decided that I was going to drink every single cocktail on their NEW cocktail menu and tell you all what i thought!

Already the service was incredible and the bar is just so glamourous, let alone the hotel being sexy, beautifully designed and modern with an old school shimmie.

This is where i went…

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And this is what I had…

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And please so know that it was during a 2 for 1 hour and that I doubled up on my fave drinks.

What can I tell you, other than the impeccable service. LOTS!

The GNH do THE BEST COCKTAILS IN THE ENTIRE CITY. Not only are they completely well made, tasty and not only do they look divine, but they were absolutely and utterly creatively concocted that they are cocktails that you will talk about for years..and i’ve done cocktails. I’ve done cocktails all over the globe. And no cocktails are like the cocktails at The GNH. They are THE BEST and no one is doing them like them. The menu is not only unique and creative, but it id delicious and boast a range of alternate drinks that suit everyone…be you young, old, fruity or plain, simple, complicated, dun or dry. They have cocktail for you and believe it or not at such a reasonable price.

I had the..

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Kings Cabana, which was absolutely refreshing, divine and modern. It was sort of like a milk mojito and i think i may have had 4. :) So perfectly put together and the staff were so efficient, as they replaced my drink simply because it looked too watery ad icey, :)

I also had the…Cheeseboard tini…which is my favourite all time cocktail in the world ever! I’m a savory girl and this creation is nothing short of genius. Creative, tasty, savory, served with cheese and apple and perfect. I had 3 .

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I tried the ‘Mind the Gap’ (which was stronger for those who like a lot of Tequila…Tequila. It puts hairs on your chest and makes you see double. :) )

 

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The ‘Plum & Jerry’ (again…another strong one….different, simple, strong and fun.) It was a less playful cocktail and simply got straight to the point. It tipped me over the edge of sobriety…and it was worth every drunken slur. :0

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This was The boudica’s smooch… (OMG! For all of you with a sweet tooth, this is your dessert cocktail. I mean, it didn’t even taste liek booze, it actually tasted EXACTLY LIKE strawberry cheesecake. EXACTLY like strawberry cheesecake and it was soooo delightfully presented that for me, ti was juts a girly winner. I had 3.

 

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I also had the ‘Lady Violet’ which tasted like blackcurrant champagne. Delicious, light and easy to drink. Not too boozy and very glamourous in your flute. :)

I tried the Paparrazi….which tasted like pure candy, it looked pink frothy and sparkly and is one of those cocktails that you would down and re order..over…and over…and over again. Not too strong…very girly.

In fact, they were the best cocktails i had ever had! They were made with such great care and love.

PLUS, the GNH bar itself is such a lively, modern, classy and stylish venue. It is filled with Londoners with excellent taste and commuters. I even actually saw  two posh kids doing their homework in there. next to business men models, normal men and women who had just had their hair did.

I was seated at the posh booth and at first next to a couple on a date. It was weird because i tried not to ear wig in on them.

Luckily, later, new people joined me…

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..and OMG they were the funnest, most sarcastically hilarious folk in the world ever. Their drink of choice was a 40 pound bottle of rose wine. Then we all ended up having cocktails. But that’s what i mean. It’s that kind of place, where you can enjoy posh delicious drinks with really great, down to earth people..who have their own delicious stories. Sarah and Claire, were hilarious from the get go. Very London, very ‘worked at Cartier’ and very very funny. Oh my god, we had the best time and got so much drunker than we dared say. It was a ‘poodle thing’ and ‘amish’ and it rocked. We drank. We loved. We bantered and talked life.

Then Claire’s boyfriend joined us for cocktails. He was quite trendy and posh. Very kind, from a good family and funny. We had a conversation about my love life and my first marriage and it was funny because i narrowed my entire love life down to three bullet points He noticed that and MADE ME open up and when people do that i love them for it.

I like people who have a genuine interest in other people and what makes them tick.

Fabulous folk. Bought they cocktails.

The GNH is THE BEST BAR for an pre evening drink in London.

Quick check in..

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God! Sorry, I haven’t blogged in what seems like ages!?! I’ve just been preoccupied, busy, working, and enjoying life. I’ve been ace, rushy and living…yet also spending my free time adoring every minute of being ‘Mama’ and enjoying my time getting to bond with a being on the phone and i never ever do that, meaning my bond with this being must be pretty damn great. I mean, you never know in life  why or how you end up meeting or speaking to someone. How your life paths end up bumping into one another’s, joining or meandering, do you? Yet the point is that you should enjoy it, whilst it does and not because it will not always be that way, but simply because it’s just important to remember to enjoy moments. I love moments and enjoy every inch of them. Yet I guess, you know when something matters because it becomes a priority, something you crave or something you are excited about. However, if you can feel that excitement, yet it still feels normal, as in that’s the way it always should or has been…then you’re winning. I think? But fuck it what do i know? I once woke up with a traffic cone celotaped to my head. All, i’m going to say is that i i’m mentally stimulated…and that’s never really happened to me before..and i’m getting to be myself and i always think i’m a lot different to how someone may pervieve me form looking at a picture.

Anyway…SHUSH.

I don’t even know where I left off? I just know that i’ve worked all week, and even though i had the Monday and Tuesday work blues, today was amazing. I love working and i love the people that I work amongst. It truly is one big Wunnaful family and it makes work so much more ‘worth it.’  The beginning of the week is always shit for me as it takes me some time to warm up, hence why Monday’s are hard…but only because I make the most of my weekends. I never want the fun to come to a fullstop. Yet they say, everything needs to be punctuated in order to make sense? I mean, someone queried why we even worked today? Yet we do it because we need to. It’s for money, a sense of value, some kind of structure and discipline, passion, wanting to better ourselves and for balance.

Mother’s day, went well. Saturday I made a random trip to London again, just to get of Yorkshire and so a fabulous cocktail hour at The GNH hotel. (The best cocktails in all the land.) But that will all come in my next blog. that i’m going to dedicate to the GNH and simply because they are DIVINE and my utter accidental discovery. But yes…I did London again last Saturday, but made it home that night, drunk on a train for a Sunday in Yorkshire, with my MUM and my Babies. Don’t be drunk on a long train journey home with no one but weirdos to talk to, it’s tedious and makes you feel awkward when you want to gip.

Anyway…Mother’s day..I ended up treating the ENTIRE Wunna Clan to lunch in the name of love and appreciation and it felt amazing. We did China Palace in Doncaster..because well…we would. Lol And We had a giant dim sum and dem sum Mother’s day…from the oldest Wunna to the baby..which is Junior. I treated everyone and it was wonderful.

All that was followed by shopping and one on one love with my Mama…but the weekend just flew by too quickly. I needed an extra day added to it.

But whatever i’m back at work now and loving it. I’m also loving Mama time, as Ruby and I had ‘girls night’ the other evening and Junior and I had ‘cuddle night’ the following. :)

I did oddly walk through crowds of ginger children today,which means they are taking over the world. I also have a friend asking to be my real life ‘slave,’ a new social life, the most interesting phone conversations in all the land, that I constantly crave….the best children, a love for ginger beer, a talent for writing my name out in sweets…and talks about what I believe love is…

..and know that i know a lot about love and relationships. Right now…i feel happy.

This is just the tonight ‘check in’ blog as I’m knackered from work. I have the big GNH cocktail blog a coming, but i’m just too tired to write it now. I’m shattered.

What i’ve learnt about love and I is that it is important for me to be mentally stimulated. I’m a very loving girly and i’m one who believes in fun..yes…yet with the basic normal traditional values of love, marriage and commitment. Building a bond and a friendship is the key to success, when it comes to the forever, type true love.

When yo do that and you have that, you have everything and can conquer the world.

Right, i’m off to bed now.

Sorry for the very BRIEF check in. I love you.

Cx

Well that was shite…

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Right!

That was the single most boring FRIDAY night of my entire life. All i fricking did was sit in my own house n the middle of a field, all alone, watch nothing on the telly and drink red wine because I couldn’t be arsed with the faff of opening a champagne bottle. I mean, if it wasn’t for the phone call from another bored person (which humoured me greatly, as we’re always the same kinda bored and want to cause the same kind of trouble when bored because we’re bratts) I probably would’ve died. You probably wouldn’t have heard of it though as it would’ve probably been a really BORING death. :)

Now, that say that when you’re bored and you need constant stimulation, you either have ADHD, you’re an attention whore, you’re a genius or you have issues that you need to ‘busy yourself up and away from,’ OR you’re just nothing appreciating the things, the simple non interesting things that you have around you. Be it the air that you breathe…your wife :) ….or just al that other shit.

I feel because I had what seemed like SUCH A BUSY WORK WEEK, that i need to do something FUN or adventurous in order to not DIE. :) I mean, I told you, i didn’t have fun all week. I just worked. And when I just work, i swear I get that rash. (Sexy!)

I’ve had amazing Friday nights in my life, in Yorkshire, London, South East Asian, Hollywood, Miami, New York…Just everywhere… I’ve had silly Friday nights where I’ve woken up with a traffic cone celotaped to my head and when i’ve rolled a loser out of my sheets, but with a box of doughnuts (i’m giving)…i’ve had VIP nights, casual nights of chill…all kinds of Friday’s that were all much more exciting than yesterday’s Friday night.

But whatever, the bright side is that I can make the most of my Saturday, as it is MOTHERING SUNDAY tomorrow, so i need to be back in Yorkshire with my Mama. That’ll be fun. But that’s not until Sunday and I need some kind of excitement release before then. I NEED SOME KIND OF FUN NOW.

I was on the phone again last night, having the best convo ever. Then I had a rant with Reuben on Facebook about how we’re retards and how he slept with our friend Birch in the back of a jag…Lol…and how i’m organizing our next Retard table drunken day/night out and how people in Pontefract don’t communicate with Twitter, they use drums?

If you don’t know what ‘table retard’ is…it’s the table at a function where in which all the naughty misfits have been sat, to keep them away from the nice normal people, who might be offended by them drinking rum under the table, smoking custard cream peace pipes and swearing. Reuben and I…we’re so on that table.

Anyway after my phone call with  the other bored being, who i find so hilarious that I actually LIVE for his call at the end of a busy day…I just drank a bunch of wine, looked through old pictures and fell asleep. HAHAHAHAHA.

Friday night was shit.

Saturday will be better.

Find your own kinda fun!

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Friday 13th

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Morning my gorgeous little kittens of delight! I love you! I do! I promise. I do!

If you do anything today have the LUCKIEST FRIDAY 13TH EVER!! I’m quite superstitious and I always state that I’m not yet you’ll never see me walk under a ladder if there’s one i front of me. HAHAH. That’s why i always tend to observe the actions of others rather than JUST there words. Lol. Their words however DO COUNT, as I hate it when people do the cliched spiel on ‘Actions speak louder than words,’ like it’s got to be one of the other. Words speak tooo…obviously. :) Nothing is just black or white. It all just depends on the person, the situation, the vibe and how you read it. (GOD! WHY AM I BEING A SNOOZE. PREACH OVER.) Blah… But yes, I’m sometimes superstitious…unless you ask me..then i’m not. :)

Right! I’ve had what has felt like THE BUSIEST WEEK OF WORK EVER. I don’t know why it’s felt like that, but i’ve WORKED. Boy have I WORKED and I see that as a good thing! Nothing is better than working hard. It keeps you out of trouble, focused and well you’re doing better than most if you are, right?  I haven’t been out and celebrated once this week, meaning that I really have just knuckled down and don’t the ‘all work, no play’ thing, which doesn’t ever work for me. LOL. Little spritzy bits of play….i enjoy…rather than all work, all work and then a blow out. As those blowouts get messy. I like to keep the balance a going throughout the process. LOL.

However, to all of you who have HAD the same kind of work week…and you’re now on your very last legs…DO NOT FALL AT THE LAST HURDLE!

It’s the WEEKEND after today, so make today your happiest day ever.

Take a moment, hit the ‘pause’ button…get all the stress out of your system and have the best fricking ‘we worked like soldiers’ end of the week FRIDAY. (By the way, all this is shit if you have to work during the weekend. Ooops. Never thought of that!)

I’m going to be overly excited about everything today…which will annoy humans, as I am quite annoying. I described myself as ‘the puppy you want to kick’ the other day.

Spent a good part of last night on the phone. I’m enjoying my phone conversations MADLY because it’s a moment where I can get to know someone and well just WEE MYSELF LAUGHING OUT LOUD! It was hilarious! And the funny part was that I had shitty phone signal, like you do when your in the middle of Yorkshire fields…so I ran to my car, to shit in it, (like something out of the ‘Blair Witch Project’ but of course boujier, as they didn’t hide in their  Mercedes. Lol) But i was wearing leopard print pj’s and giant green parker jacket that has baby pink FUR around the hood. HAHAHA. It was ace. I looked like a bimbo stalker…on pills? Weave was everywhere…but i didn’t care because in that moment, under that night sky that guarded us all, yesterday evening, no matter where we were in the world…i was happy. I was filled with excitement and literally laughing my head off.

So, if you were to zoom away from me, up into the universe that night, until i was nothing but an ant like dot. Know that my little ‘dot’ of Wunna, was the happiest little ‘dot’ on the planet..and that is what life is about. It’s not about stress of life, its’ about getting through the stress with laughter. It’s not about focusing on what you don’t have…it’s about making the most of what you do. It’s about love. Fall in love. Enjoy it. It’s about fun…find the FUN in everything. Do it.

Have the great Friday…even if you think it’s going shitty. Just know that everything is going to be okay.

Oh and boys…quit sending me pictures of your willies. I could have a willy ‘wall of fame’ at home now. Even the girls are at it now. (Not with willies, of course. But Lesbians are digging me right now. Must be the selfies.)

Wunna x

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