Breast Milk Pancakes?

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‘Yeah, but honestly i was mental. I was involved in some kind of group, where all my friends came over and made things like breast milk pancakes,’ said ‘Firmonnell to the Little Burmese, ‘just got back into work after shimming at The Clothes Show, with the likes of Joey Essex’ Glamour Puss.

(It felt good to be back to normality.)

Hahaha! What the actual FUCK! I literally know the BEST humans alive. Nothing, (and I do mean this honestly) made my life worth living today, as much as that statement. Not even my own children. Lol. I mean, who is ACE enough to have actually joined a group where in which women, (who had just had babies) squirted milk out of their post preggo boobs, added eggs and made pancakes with it. I AM DYING!!! HAHAHAH. We all actually know a ‘Preggo Princess’ right now and let me tell you, nothing would make me happier, than the reassurance of knowing that she also, followed the likes of ‘Firmonnell’ and made breast milk pancakes with odd, other post birth chicks and simply for kicks. Hahahaha. The evil breast feedy *force* groups terrify me. They’re like smiley, angelic looking HITLERS. They all need to get kicked when the knock at your door…with Louboutin heeled DIVA feet. I bet they all have husbands. Husbands who never get sex. See! This is where i’m going wrong. All the relationships I end up in… include sex. I’ve been a wife THREE FLIPPING TIMES…and they all took a U Turn. I need to ban sex from my love life and start forcing men to breast feed. Pancake groups for everyone!

Then the focus went onto talks of how i keep taking slutty pics in Disney/Primark Onesies and posting them all over Facebook, Twitter and Instagram. 🙂 In the words of Lisa ‘The zippers seem to have broken off them all.’ Lol.

I didn’t explain myself too well…as i always figure you never have to explain yourself really, when you’re Me and you have charm and winks that speak for themselves…But the actual story behind the slutty onesie pics is this…

I was shopping with my kids around Doncaster. Ruby really wanted me to look like a Kangeroo and a Fox, so we bought the equivalent Onesies from Primark. I wore them at home. The kids loved it, as it was like i was a fun toy. They went to bed. I had a whole bunch of Prosecco…the zipper came down and BOOM, that was the birth of the ever so popular ‘slutty onesie’ Wunna pics. It should trend. You all should do it. When i take them, i really do think i’m some kind of Burmese Pamela Anderson.

Is this why i’m single? Why am I a tool?

Even Keiran (Junior’s Dad) text me the other night with a casual ‘How’s Junior’ and he followed it up with an ‘I thought you’d be keeping busy posting half naked pictures of yourself.’

Blah! I don’t take playful criticism from people with giant beards. I simply stated that i looked great, hundreds of people agreed…(I WILL GET OVER MYSELF,) he ‘monkey emoji’ed’ me and then we laughed it off. At least we can have a laugh.

I mean, ‘The Mighty’ even said ‘It’s just funny because you’re doing it in a Disney, Monsters Inc Onesie.‘ Hahaha.

Prosecco made me do it girls. They should give it to people in church. (Have i officially offended everyone now? Lol)

(Oooh, i’ve just rushed to put my pink laptop on charge, as it’s running out of juice and the best smelling swirl has just danced under my nose. I’ve got this bag stuffed with bath bombs, like i’m some kind of greedy LUSH thief. They’re for Ruby’s teachers. We couldn’t think of things to get them, so we just went with bath bombs. SHIT LOADS OF BATH BOMBS.)

Lots of gents are hitting on me right now and i’m feeling so ‘whole’ that i’m not really bothered by it? It’s weird because i’m looking for love, my Mr Right. Yet, I can’t be really as I just seem to be all happy as i am and not concerned with it, until it smacks me in the face and I get swept off my feet.

In life there’s only been ONE guy that has swept me off my feet romantically. The rest have liked me, but not really. Infact, no Mikey Ray my first hubby loved me. I’m glad he’s gone on to do so well in life. He’d be dead proud of me now. But we don’t speak.

Talking about ‘no speaky!’ Get this, ‘Eton Mess’ and I aren’t even talking anymore. He hasn’t messaged me to say ‘hi’ or anything in a couple weeks. How weird. I haven’t messaged either yet girls shouldn’t have to. Boys should do the leg work and they nly do it if they’re truly into you. (And yes, i do get that lots of you are hitting up my inbox with ‘leg work.’ But, with girls, we have to properly fancy you in the first place to appreciate. We are SWINES like that.

I’ve said it before. It’s sweet getting messaged lovely ‘advances’ (at times,) when you’re not being pervy. I’m flattered. Utterly flattered. Especially as i’m smashing into thirty six on the 19th of this month. It makes me feel fanciable and i appreciate that. HOWEVER, we as girls wait for that one message fro that guy that we adore…and it’s when we get THAT message that our kitten hearts skip a beat.

I do mean that in general, as i’m totally single. There is no apple of my eye. I reckon i’m the most eligible Bachelorette going. 🙂 But i would wouldn’t I, because i’m a glamourous… plank.

 

The way I see it is that THIS YEAR, more than ANY year in my entire life and BOY HAVE I DATED ALL OVER THE GLOBE. Hundreds of times. Lol. I’ve romanced many a man. (That’s the problem, it should be the other way around.) But this year, i have had the honour of meeting some of the greatest guys, that i’ve ever gone on dates with in my life. Such handsome, fun, sweet, sassy gents. I’ve had a great time.

But now i’m headed for better times. Times that i deserve!

Come at me life!

 

 

 

 

 

 

UK Blog Awards! Vote Now!

As you all know! (Because i’ve rammed it on every piece of personal social media that would let me. 🙂 You do have my apologies for that. Yet i’m sort of ‘sorry/not sorry,’ as i’m genuinely excited and over the moon and if anything, I’m a tryer. *Wink.*)

But yes I am nominated for UK Blog Awards this year in the TWO Categories ‘Dating’ & ‘Lifestyle.’ Yep, two bits of ‘category,’ so it’d be nice if I ‘trophied’ at least one of them, wouldn’t it? (Pleeeease…..I’m being beggy because I love a trophy and i never win anything! And as much as my bravado wants to glamourously shield a soft heart, it kinda means a lot to me. My Mum’s s proud. I’m so proud. I can’t even believe it and well i’m up against a bundle of strong competition. I mean, I’ve looked through both categories, where in which chrissiewunna.com lies and ‘shat’ myself with a ‘there’s just no way.’

Then I read this…

…and realized that there IS WAY! (As If i’m one of the 7 peeps, who turned the actual event into an TRENDING TOPIC on Twitter. I was sat in The Mallard in Doncaster, having a Desperado just plonking up a ‘Vote for Me’ post, after Christmas shopping for Ruby at Meadowhall and I couldn’t even believe it!)

So, i’m not gonna bore you with a spiel, as regardless win or lose, i’m certainly going to continue to blog daily and adore it with every inch of my soul. It’s a creative output for me, my therapy and some people’s inspiration.

In the words of my Mother,

‘You don’t need a trophy to be the winner in the end Chrissie. But win it anyway little one…’ 🙂 🙂 🙂 

SO you delicious licks of *yum yum.*

Vote for chrissiewunna.com in BOTH categories at this link… (If you wish…)

http://www.blogawardsuk.co.uk/ukba2017/entries/wwwchrissiewunnacom

The Public Vote has officially started and goes on for TWO WEEKS. It stops on Dec 19th…WHICH IS MY BIRTHDAY! So please if you have time, give us a VOTE! It means a great deal to me. I mean I’ve been blogging for almost a decade, almost every day, all over the world and only NOW have i ever got nominated for a national ‘Best of’ Award!

I’m ‘Copying and Pasting’ my UK Blog Awards Profile below, for you to have a read…Enjoy it!

Blog Overview

‘A cheeky, straight talking, fun loving Lifestyle blog, following the life of the infamous and increasingly popular, 30 something single glamour puss, Chrissie Wunna. Filled with wit, wisdom, love, life, honesty and cocktails. This blog documents the real life trials and tribulations of a Burmese/Yorkshire/Hollywood girl as she lives her life daily, like a show via written word . Author, former model, reality tv personality, business woman and single mum. A blog that has been written for almost a decade, currently read in over 200 countries, on every continent of the world and translated into 40 different languages a day, making her a cyberland sensation & like a true host, she invites people into her private life to live it alongside her on a charming and open playing field. One of the only blogs to have been made popular via the fine art of Chinese Whispers. (‘I first started blogging over a decade ago on Myspace, after a guy who worked at a coffee shop in LA, listened to my hungover stories every morning and suggested that i start a blog. Only 8 people read it a day…then all of a sudden it just got really popular and everyone started reading it as they were becoming a part of it on a daily. Hollywood’s a small town. It was only years later when i was drunk in a pub in England with my old school friend Wazza, when the blog finally found a home and became www.chrissiewunna.com. It was his idea…and i liked it. The blog then became massively popular. At one point i was the third most Googled ‘Chrissie’ in the entire world because of it and it suddenly dawned on me that i might have something here.’) Chrissie is one of the only bloggers in her niche to have been able to reach out to such a wide and diverse range of audience. ‘The beauty of my blog is that it’s like a hotel, it’s always there. You can ‘check in’ and ‘check out’ whenever you like. You can stay for the night, book in for the week, come back months later or call in every day to say ‘Hi,’ be it for business, love, life or pleasure. You can sit back and read all about it from the privacy and quietness of your own room…or you can slip on some heels, throw on that ‘date night’ shirt and place yourself right in the action…be a part of it, no matter who or where you are in the world!’ Chrissie x’

Why Vote For Me?

‘I write about my life, the only thing that I know more about than anyone else in the entire world. 🙂 I have such a passion for living, places and people and to be a great lifestyle blogger, that’s something that i think you need (with a rum cocktail and a keen lust for luxury) in your soul. It’s real, it’s honest, it’s charming and raw, but it’s fun & even though i’m taking you to some of the best hotel suites, restaurants, cocktail bars, lunch spots, shopping retailers, designers, my normal work life, snazzy events and all sorts inbetween…It’s the story of my real life…Like you…I have ups..i have downs. I achieve. I lose focus. I get my way. I don’t. I win. I lose. I fall in love and have my heart broken in all these joints. Every character in this blog is real and our connections and life path crossings are not only genuine but are delivered to you with love. The THREE GREATEST things about my blog are that FIRSTLY it connects people, we can all relate to the things that i’m chatting about, no matter what life we walk, we are all made of the same ‘stuff’..we cry when we’re sad, we laugh when we’re happy. SECONDLY anybody can be a part of my blog, all they have to do is cross paths with me somehow be it via love, business, work, friendship, play or for no real reason….If it’s touched me in some way…the next morning, you’ll read about it. It’s like having a written word reality show, that members of the public who are also doing their own version of life can be part of mine and it’s magical. It’s hasn’t really been done this well in a long time. 🙂 I’m one to remain connected to my audience that you’ll know where or why i am at every point. So you always have the opportunity to join me. Even if you’re a brand or business…It weirdly actually works that way also. It’s great! And THIRDLY…I get an inbox full of messages from people each day telling me about their lives or how i’ve inspired them in some way…and it is THAT ALONE that gives this blog a sense of worth and purpose, which of course should make it a winner. 😉 Billions of people are doing life….this blog is simply my version of it. x’

Vote Now

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http://www.blogawardsuk.co.uk/ukba2017/entries/wwwchrissiewunnacom

 

 

 

 

 

 

Boy Banter, Exes & Dating

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So, i’m sat in The Mallard AFTER additional Christmas shopping at The Frenchgate in Doncaster, as Ruby breaks up from school on Friday and her teachers all deserve gifts for educating a Wunna Baby. (I’m buttering them up, as they are *zapped* with another Wunna Baby in September, as Junior struts in with a ‘teach me, teach me’ shortly and like i’ve always said Junior is the product of Keiran and I…meaning he is filled with…how do I say it? I’ll go with… ‘UMPH.’)

This is my second pit stop of the day, as i NEED wine breaks wedged into the madness of a Christmas shop, mainly because i’m an alcoholic in training, glam and an alcoholic in training.

In front of me is a gypsy couple. The wife is really quiet and the husband is all ‘barky’ loud. The kids have run off and the staff at The Mallard have done that polite ‘just so you know your child is at’ conversation, which as we know all means ‘CONTROL YOUR KIDS.’ They’re doing their own version of ‘Happily Ever After’ which to me seems a bit tense, unhappy and controlled.

There’s a dude in a giant neon jacket, with a pint, playing on a bandit. Ofcourse not winning (OH SHIT AS I’VE SAID THAT, THE BANDIT HAS LITERALLY JUST DROPPED AND HE’S WON LOADS OF QUIDS. I’M A DICKHEAD. LOL.) And there’s a bunch of boys, 20 something Donny boys chatting about chicks…

20 something boy banter is weird, it’s all about ‘but did you shag her or did you not?’ Well , it is to these boys anyway and it’s making me do cross eyebrows (I can do them now my botox has worn off.)

Part of me does find it funny, but only because it’s not happening to me. Lol. I’m a sassy girly girl, i’m not ‘cherry pie.’ I’m bantery  and fun. I adore boy chitter chatter. I’m a champion at it, as when I grew up in LA, aside from a precious handful, all my friends were gay and straight guys. They kinda rubbed off on me, which now after listening to these fellas, probably wasn’t a good thing. Haha.

‘Yeah but Dean only works at fucking Sports Direct and he says he’s got FOUR BIRDS on the go!’

(I did notice that some things never change. Men associate having love or ‘loads or birds’ with being a successful money making machine. Not true with all men, before you all start. Yet, it’s us girls that have done that to you. Well, not me, as i’m a ‘pay my own way’gal. But i get it. Dean surely couldn’t get all the birds with a Sports Direct wage to guys. Lol. DYING!!!) 

HOLY FUCKING SHIT. I AM NEVER MAKING FUN OF A BANDIT GUY AGAIN. HE’S JUST WON AGAIN. THE MACHINE HAS DROPPED AGAIN. He’s on the other machine now. I might start eyeing him up. 😉

Anyway, there i was thinking it was hard being a single thirty something, when i’ve just realised that it’s much shitter being a single ‘looking for love’ 20 something year old chick.

20 something year old chicks hardly ever, if never have conversations that begin with ‘I totally let him sausage me.’ That’s single 30 year old talk. Hahaha.

So right now, i’m kinda feeling pretty happy that i’m all being 30, doing well and riding solo. I did do breakfast with Keiran and the kids on Sunday morning. It’s kinda turned into a Sunday morning thing now and it’s actually lovely, like nothing’s really changed from years ago?

We were sat at the coffee shop at Ackworth Garden Centre, just being a family and i never ever thought that i would ever say this…but if you could see how giddy the kids were about it, you’d think it was a good idea. (I know, I need to stop.)

I’ll focus on the fact that he said i had a belly! (Whatever, i’m due on and had two kids. One of them his. I don’t have a belly. I look good for almost being a hundred years old in a couple weeks and birthing humans.) Do note, he was joking. But i’m not joking about this giant weird beard that he’s grown. It’s terrifying.

Happy Monday!

 

 

 

 

 

I did The Clothes Show

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So i’ve been at The Clothes Show! The last ever Clothes Show to be held in Birmingham, as it will move to Liverpool for the coming years. (Yay! Northern!) I am a regular haunt at the event…and blogged it for a jazzy while. I’ve presented it. Smoozed. I’ve shopped! I’ve celebrated the event with love, as i genuinely find it divine.

This year has been the best year that I have ever has the pleasure of being invited to. Oh my GOD, I could LIVE at The Clothes Show this year. You should go, as it is ever girly girls DREAM LAND. There is no where on earth where you can literally shop until your little kitten heart is satisfied, smooze with your fave reality tv celebs and when you need a ‘pick me up’ saunter into some kind of ‘Lounge’ for a lift up! Jesus! There were the MOST GLAMOROUS Pop Up lounged everywhere. The ‘Diva Lounge,’ the ‘Pamper Lounge,’ the ‘Lambrini Bubbles Bar,’ the this lounge, that lounge, get your hair did and teeth whitened whilst you ‘chill for ten’ spots. It was AMAZING and pretty much catered to everything that I’d build shrines for. I snapchatted my Clothes Show Story for all of you to see and let me tell you IT IS MARVELLOUS. I mean GOD, i’ve done Lambrini proud. Lol. I don’t think anyone has made as much impact in a ‘Bubbles Bar’ in their life. If i can do anything, i can kick back, meet new people, selfie pout with folk and drink in glamourous ‘pop ups.’ It’s the new thing innit, ‘Pop Up’ Wine bars and they are my favourite. i guess with Lambrini, i sort of just represent eerything that they market, so i was a great ‘Bubbles Bar’ choice. Lol. I’ve sipped and sampled every single new Lambrini Flavour and I can you Strawberry is my fave.

 

 

 

I even had my fortune told by accident via a crystal ball and I tried not to take it seriously, as you don’t do you. But holy shit, when i got beckoned behind a curtain and asked to hold this ball, (I’m good at that. 😉 ) THE THINGS THAT GYSPY  Margaret Rose Lee were telling me were things that NOT A SINGLE BEING in this entire world, but myself and my family would know! It was crazy. I was kitty shocked being this little red curtain…as she looked through my past, present and future. BANG ON, she was! And i guess as always my future is charmed…I can’t wait to get to the ‘charmed’ bit of my future (haha)…as even though i’m a positive soul, who has it pretty good, I’m heavily ambitious when it comes to work, love and family….and well this waiting around and working dead hard at it stuff can sometimes be a draaaaaaaaaaaag. When i have success, love and everything with bells on, then i’ll be able to do things like have a quiet drink in a bar, by myself and not stress and lay in bed at night, without a busy mind. I can’t wait for that bliss.

Okay away from that! Let’s go behind the scenes, as in life i have the best of both worlds at such events, where i’ll get booked to, what i call ‘be a face’ and entertain, yet at the same time GET TO BE PRESS, with my pass for chrissiewunna.com and venture through the back stages, the press calls and get all the behind the scenes gossip. I know, it’s awesome. So, for those of you who love a bit of Pop Culture, a bit of ‘Celeb,’ a bit of reality tv, i’ll tell you that i got to share time with Joey Essex, Alex Mytton and Jamie Laing! Reality at it’s finest. I watched them, studied them and listened to everything going on around them. I always kinda look smiley, boobied and giddy…but i scan and watch EVERYTHING!! The little things a opposed to the big things.

 

This is what I can tell you…

I’m not about to hear anyone call these boys ‘famous for nothing,’ as people tend to say that about Reality show personalities, don’t they. I’ve experienced reality show life and not even nearly close to the popularity that these boys are going through and that alone was HARD.

These boys must work almost every hour under the sun and then some to build and maintain a profile and do what people with ambition do, make money! I mean Jamie Laing had just got back from travelling for fifty hours, back from Australia after his ‘I’m a Celeb’ Extra Camp gig, to come and present a fashion show in Birmingham. Plus he had his brand ‘Candy Kittens’ at The Clothes Show, so he was making sure that was running smoothly also. I watched him present a fashion show and he’s just a natural entertainer, he sort of looked like a veteran in comparison Alex, who also shimmied on Made in Chelsea with him. Jamie’s warm hearted, talented, a great entertainer and ‘human’ not fakey. There’s nothing stuck up about him and he’s just a joy, you can see it in his soul. There’s an energy.

Alex…extremely good looking, not a telly newbie, but seemed a bit more quiet that Jamie. However, non the less, sweet, got on with it and was fun, fun, fun with it all. I did notice that whilst he was in the ‘pap pen’ and saw a camera man and I stood taking piccies, that he clocked the camera man straight away and like the sexy boy that he is, rolled up his sleeves a little on the sly to make sure we got a good view of his ‘gun show’ on pictures. Lol. Now, i’m not one to complain. I say ‘Good boy!’ But it’s interesting isn’t it, as to how people feel the best way to market themselves is. I love how his mind ticks. Interesting guy! I was on the same train as him on the way back. He had his girlfriend with him, who was all skinny, blond and..well…not every smiley. Haha. I don’t know how these guy’s hold proper loving, long term relationships. It must be difficult.

And Joey….The whirlwind that was Joey Essex! It almost felt as though every teenager in the entire world had decided to stand in one spot in Birmingham, at The Clothes Show  and as he quickly paced out, guarded by security, cameras and all sorts…they ALL decided to get their New Look knickers in a twist and go ABSOLUTELY MENTAL, like Michael Jackson had trumped gold on Justin Bieber or something!! And to the loudest screams ever, they elbowed and tripped each other out the way, clambered on shoulders and rushed, dashed and fell with camera phones…They lost their entire teenage MINDS! (I got elbowed and kicked a bit, as I was stood right next to him, but i had a Press Pass and Celebs love People with Press Passes, so i was sorted. Lol)

Now, this is what you didn’t know (or did gather) about Joey…who makes his ‘dollar’ by maybe selling himself as maybe not the ‘brightest berry’ in the bunch. And God does it work. He’s rinsing it. Well done!

But let me tell you, if you were to watch him talk to his manager during a ‘madness moment’ like that or behind the scenes, he is LITERALLY one of the most savvy, intelligent and ‘in the know’ guys on reality tv. He’s direct. He knows what he’s doing. He knows what he represents and he is all ambition and work. He knows it’s work and he smashes it! I heard him talking to Dave his manager with this power house voice of ‘this is what i want you to do.’ He had guardian and cameras filming the madness, on his instruction…(clever, clever) and he got through his Pap Pen session, with less heart than Jamie, but with the biggest career mind out of the BUNCH!

They work really hard and they have to, as the world of ‘Reality Celeb’ isn’t easy anymore is it. As it’s become more and more about being really savvy at the old marketing and winning popularity ‘doo dah’ than anything and now EVERYONE has become really really good at it. I’ve always thought there is room for everyone and as long as you have talent, a creative flair and or a business mind….I mean, as long as you’re good at your craft, no matter what it may be…and you work the hardest you have ever worked at your passion or goal…you’ll get there!

The great thing about these boys is that they made so many people happy that day…and when you do that…it kinda makes it all worth it.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Pooey Pants, Christmas & Whole Hearts

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The other day, I watched a really drunk man wee and poo himself in public, at six o clock in the evening outside Action Cars, which is a Taxi company, in Pontefract. He slurred on into the taxi joint, covered in poo, with wee stained dark green cord trousers and asked for a cab. It was kinda like watching the ‘old drunk man’ version of the Nativity, being played out before my very kitten eyes. There was certainly no room at the Inn…

‘No one wants to take you mate, cos you’ve pissed yourself.’

That is literally all he got as response. Helllooo Yorkshire! I certainly wasn’t in LA anymore.

So even though his situation was sad, it kinda made me feel better about my own life! Lol. Evil, I know! But it’s true, you need moments like that to give you perspective over your own shit. (Literally. 🙂 ) I might have had a hard day at work, dashed in minor stress, but it didn’t end in me weeing ‘my frillies’ on a public road, between a taxi joint and a fried chicken shop. Haha. Life wasn’t that bad.

Moving on! IT’S DECEMBER! WE’VE MADE IT! IT’S OFFICIALLY CHRISTMAS! You all should be embracing it now. I mean, God, today I heard a middle aged dude MOAN because ‘it just wasn’t Christmas yet’ and it made me roll my eyes. Let’s not be Scroogey dickheads of negativity. I’m a Christmas Baby. I have a birthday IN NINETEEN DAYS. (Helping you remember. *Wink.*)  IT’S DECEMBER THE FIRST. There’s nowhere else to go on this, but with ‘it’s Christmas.’ So cheer up, pour a mulled wine, start buying your gifts and whop the Christmas CD. Why do people’s always have to fight the feeling? Miserable sods. I swear they’re people who just don’t get enough ‘nookie.’

Whatelse? I’ve been working a lot….steadily. The pace hasn’t been ‘race car.’ Everything felt ‘samey’ and my mind got a bit lazy I had to crank it up a notch to feel alive again and like the brain cells were being exercised…. and with help, it worked. I’m just a person that loves to be busy, it makes me feel as though i’m putting myself to use. I’m always one to work hard, i’m not slow nor am I a doss pot and at the same time, i’m one to be out and about with my friends, a date, or the babies. I’m not a sitter arounder…and someone who likes to be doing things. Yet not because I get bored. I love everything that I do and have. I just like to feel like i’m experiencing, living and like i said before, putting myself to use. It makes me as a human feel of worth.

My love life? I guess, if i was being honest, i’d tell you that there are great guys, telling me great things about myself and potentially seeking a date? Yet i’ve just been so busy doing life and enjoying it that i’m kinda not even looking that hard for love right now. I’m enjoying work, friends, colleagues and family. I feel fulfilled and whole. It’s almost as if feel as like I don’t even need a man right now? Which is odd, as i’m a love bunny. So i either feel whole, like i could have a guy if i wanted, safe, or like i have a plan? Who knows? Away from the romantic side of it all, I have some really great guy friends and I also have Keiran and Pete (my Baby Daddies.) So i have all the corners sorted really. I actually never feel that alone. I’m happy. So when my Prince rocks ups…i’ll wink and we’ll all live happily ever after.

I’m just one to let life take it’s natural course in love now, as GOD i’m tired of trying so hard all the time and getting zero ‘tryers back’ in return. Chicks should never have to do the leg work. When we do….we respect a dude less. We all want a ‘man.’ All girls want to be swept off our feet.

I’ve got lots going on. I’m at The Clothes Show live tomorrow, so i will be travelling to Birmingham in the morning. I’ll blog all about it when i wake up. I have a gin and tonic here, right now, so it’s probably not the best time for me to promo. 🙂 I have every Monday and Friday off work in December, i’ve never really done that ever before. Well not in YEARS. So I’m kinda really excited.

I’ve started to buy my Christmas presents. I love buying gifts. Yet i can’t stop, which is the issue. Lol. At Christmas time, money just falls through my fingers. That’s why i always have to work hard and make money, as i’d die if i couldn’t just walk into a store one day and buy my babies, myself or anyone i cared about something that they wanted or even worse needed or deserved. Buying gifts has made me smile. You can tell when someone’s loving because they have a glow around them when they’ve done something thoughtful and all my gifts are thoughtful as they come from my cold, evil, heart. 🙂

It’s hard to work during the Winter, when it’s old, innit? It’s making me miss LA and my besties out there. We’re all really close even to this day and we all met at Crunch Gym, working little part time jobs to make a buck, as we tried to be models and actors in a town named Hollywood. We used to scan Nicole Scherzinger in before she was a Pussycat Doll and Perez Hilton before the blog. It was so much fun. It was the best job i ever had. All i had to do was scan people in and hand them a towel. I even asked Joseph Fiennes to marry me at Crunch. Lol. SO MUCH FUN. Miss it. Not the wage. Just the experience of it all. 🙂 

Junior’s at Keiran’s tonight and i’m really proud of how close they’ve become. Junior’s a straight up ‘Mummy’s Boy’ so it’s nice to see him and his Dad loving and learning from one another. Even though i miss him. *Sad face.* Ruby is writing Christmas cards and asking me how to spell everything for her. She loves a creative mission does Ruby, so she’s rushing around like she’s some kind of Executive Christmas Card writer, with a Kardashian work schedule to conquer.

I thought i was going to be all mad and fun for Christmas, but i’m kinda enjoying just working, chilling and winding down. Lol. It must be my age. Hahaha. Fucks sake. Don’t get me wrong, i’ll have a cocktail any time. But I think i’ve worked pretty hard all year and i deserve a bit of a chill festival. I’m going on my events and working towards goals, yet at Christmas there’s nothing like warm alcoholic beverages, love and family.

I’m going to really enjoy it.

Best get some rest. I’m up for The Clothes Show in the morning.

Ps/ One of my old guy friends messaged me the other day saying how trustworthy I was and how much he respected me for it. It made me smile, as it made me feel warm. Then on the flip side ‘London Business Man’ messaged me to tell me about his ‘on and off’ romance with a girl. The thing about ‘on and off’ romances is that the story is interesting at first, yet if you are still moaning about it, yet continuing to throw yourself into it, then it all gets a bit boring. If you don’t like something, change it.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Love, Sausage Rolls & Fox Onesies

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Well the Fox Onesie Selfie got out of hand didn’t it! My Facebook inbox went a bit silly and my comment list got a bit ‘excited.’ My Twitter tweeted and my instagram message box filed in all sorts. It was kinda meant to be fun, funny and a bit slutty. Lol. Not a way to beckon in madness. Yet whatever! I loved it! i was in a Fox Onesie. Some of you were lovely. my Ponte guy friends jumped to my rescue and you’ll always know who they are during mass ‘comment’ parades as they will be the boys that I always reply to beause i actually know them in real life. Haha. They’ve known me since i was 17, they see me all the time, we’ve all been out loads at some point about town. They’re great!They’re hilarious and will either make fun of me, themselves and well as it was today…YOU! But only if you’re being pervy or if you accidentally set yourself up to be mocked. Even my mum *jumped* in with ‘yadda yadda’ today. I think she called someone a ‘pervert’ because he’s Father’s friend and typed something that was moderately inappropriate! Lol. My inbox kinda made me ‘withdraw,’ as it terrified me off. My own doing…so whatever i can handle it. *Wiggle…Giggle.*

Anyway! IT’S A GREAT DAY TO BE ALIVE. I’ve been at work all day and Monday’s are hard for everyone. You kinda just have to get on with it don’t you and hope for the best. There’s no silver linings, other than being grateful that you made it through in one piece. Like i said, it’s a great day to be alive!

Today I held sausage rolls in the back of taxi as throwback hits from the 90’s played in the background. I also sent ‘Eton Mess’ a picture of the Lego Version of himself. I ate nuts by accident and i’m allergic to nuts, so that hasn’t been fun this evening. An alcoholic version of Santa, who was on the streets of Doncaster sat on a chair, with a rubbish beard on and sack full of cheaply wrapped £2 presents, gave my kids toy GUNS. (They’ve shot me all night, whilst i’m dressed as a fox, by a Christmas tree.) But i have a gin and tonic…and that makes me smile. I’ve actually done lots in this Fox Onesie. Lol. I even took a big blog business call with some executive…whilst I was on the other end of the line, dressed in a giant fox onesie. Life is good! I even have a fucking fur tail.

My facebook newsfeed has been filled with girls and guys rambling on about how awful their love life is and gosh i know that i definitely do that on occasion, but at least i’m funny with it. (And i’m funny with it because i’m REALLY not that sad about my love life. Lol. I’m not emotionally young, i’m kinda okay with being me and being single. They’re are fun parts to it and like i said, i’m one to wait until i find the right match, rather than waste on a mismatch. You’ll know when you find your match, as the connection will grow with ease. ) Young girls should concentrate on ambition and succeeding at what they want to do in life. Not crying over some tragical 20 something year old boy. Lol. Have fun! Lighten up! Enjoy Christmas. Be sexy! Own it.

I read this piece today stating that we apparently fall in love three times in our entire lifetime. It already put me off, as i had previously read that it was twice, years ago in some book about soulmates. But it says that we need each of the 3 loves for a reason…

The first love is the young teen love. It plays out in an idealistic fashion. It’s ‘fairytale’ and in this day and age, you’re definitely not going to stay with them forever. Lol. But the magic is that you ill believe you will. My first boyfriend at school was Dan (Danny) Shaw Town. He’s actually an amazing and popular artist now. Look him up. Great work. I loved him and cried on a loo when i was fifteen when we broke up. Haha.

The second love is supposed to be the hard love, it tests us, teaches us and makes us stronger. It shows us who we are, when it comes to matters of the heart, what we want and what we need in order to feel loved. (And when i’m talking love, i’m not talking about the people you end up in relationships with, only the ones that you have TRULY LOVED.) It’s usually unhealthy for us in the end, unbalanced and well the article said ‘narcissistic.’ Yippppeeee!  It’s the love that we wished was right, but deep down know it’s far from perfect and ‘ouchy.’

The third love is the love that we don’t see coming. It comes as a surprise, packaged all wrong, destroys the norm of what we thought would be peeking around the corner. It changes everything and fills our soul with ACTUAL love. That person that you never thought would happen, but did and you deep down love it. You try to avoid it, yet you find yourself right back there because it just feels right. It’s the one that lasts forever.

Now i don’t know how true all this is….and i never really overthink it, as i simply believe that if a girl goes about enjoying life, herself and the world, Mr.Right just finds her, falls in love with her and that’s it…sorted. I do however find the art of love interesting, yet never understand why people complicate it so much…as it’s the simpliest thing in the world ever.

I’ve had a great family night tonight. The kids are amazing. They make me so happy. I came home, to find that Ruby had got mad with grandad and therefore in a moment of rebellion opened every single one of her Advent calendar ‘doors’ and thrown the contents all over the floor. This year i had bought the children the calendar’s that have Playmobile toys in them instead of choccies and SHE KNEW that she wasn’t allowed to even start opening the calendar.

When i walked, in she was hiding on the stairs and i saw the mess, didn’t say anything and simply started putting each piece back in the box. My calmness confused her…so she poked her head around the door and said ‘Grandad said i could do whatever i wanted.’ (Then RAN off.)

I beckoned her back in and told her that i had put everything back in the calendar, like it was new. She looked at me sheepishly. Yet i didn’t have to tell her that she had done something wrong, because she already knew. She knew that I trusted she wouldn’t do what she did. I didn’t HAVE to say anything. I wasn’t even angry with her or ‘off.’ I just carried on.

She got on with her evening, we were all fine, playing, laughing, joking and then an hour later, she slowly snook up to me, when she was alone, gave me a cuddle and whispered ‘i’m sorry’ in my ear.

In life, you just have to understand people, what they do, why they do and deal with situations and in a calm, positive manner, before immediately coming up with solutions. If you trust people, you’ll find that they don’t always let you down and will in the end, whisper that ‘sorry’ in your ear.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

We Should All Move To Manchester & Do ‘The Robot’

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YOU HAVE 34 DAYS LEFT OF 2016! Yes you do! Yes you do! And it is SO important that you make the MOST of these last 34 days that we have. If you’ve worked hard all year, embrace the last jolly days of the year with fun, silliness and rummy cocktails. Give yourself a break. If you’ve been a total waster all year :)…take this time to maybe put together a better and more productive plan for the year ahead. If you’ve suffered from breakups, enjoy love. If you’ve been loved up…commit to independent good times. WE WILL ALL START NEW CHAPTERS in 34 days!

But more importantly, YOU ALL HAVE MY BIRTHDAY TO SAVE UP FOR, 🙂 so start emptying those piggy banks and gathering those coppers, as i have me a list that could roll out and blanket half the entire universe with glitter. Lol. (The fact that i’m actually kidding hurts me. If ONLY life was as simple as a ‘get me’ list. It’d make things so much easier. I guess i don’t focus as much on ‘stuff.’ Don’t get me wrong, I do love ‘stuff.’ I have a lot of stuff and i adore it all. But now that i’m in this certain position that i’ve found myself in life, experiences are important to me, as they create memories, thoughtfulness i always find sexy, so you can go far with me with that one…and well the things that i actually want or need for my birthday, if birthdays were magical and THEY ARE, are things that people wouldn’t be able to buy for me, as they are things that i’d have to work for and find….myself.) BUT DO SEND ME STUFF. I LOVE STUFF. It makes me think you care.

I’ve done so much this weekend that i don’t even know where to begin. Swung out of work on Friday, after we all decided that we all have everything else, in life be it babies, love, or whatever it is that ‘tree huggers’ harp on about, that matters…and that the only things we all have missing is SHIT LOADS OF CASH. I work really hard and i’m grateful for the little things, the big things, family, love, life and all sorts, but don’t you get me wrong, i am a girl who strongly BELIEVES that money matters. It makes life better. Not just easier. Yes you need balance. But with the money that you’ve made, you can do all of the things that you WANT to do in life. You can LIVE without having to make sacrifices. And in this current day and age…being able to do that, is down to an accumulation of dosh. IT MAKES A BIG DIFFERENCE. Then i remembered that i promised a girl that i’d be her lesbian girlfriend, if i didn’t find love by 40 and left to start the weekend on a high note.

Anyway. This weekend i was in a random bar in Manchester, (i’ve been going to Manchester a lot, spend almost half my time there. ) I can’t even to this moment remember what this bar was called? It wasn’t one of the usual popular cocktail bar haunts, that i’m quite the fixture at, yet just some place that you run into to stay out of the cold, for one quick one, before your get to your bouji destination.

Now, i don’t know what happened? But one drink ended up being loads and my chick friend seems to be able to guzzle drinks down like some kind of booze baboon. Everyone was around us, everyone wanted to chat to us, it was like a fun, Christmas blur of the best good times ever. People, laughter, music ATTENTION. 🙂 I’d been explaining to her that she wasn’t an alcoholic, because my friend Sarah and I had come up with the conclusion over salads, that even though we have a drink every night, we are DEFINITELY NOT alcoholics, because i once met a guy who opened his door to me in cold sweats, pj bottoms, looking like he was about to die, with his ENTIRE BODY SHAKING from withdrawal symptoms, to the point where he couldn’t speak for shaking and she once saw a guy falling about drunk at 8am one morning, who then went on to take off his shoe and puke in it. I’ve never puked in a shoe, or shook in pj bottoms in a sweat…Means i’m not an alcoholic. 🙂

Long story short, i let my rubbish tool of a personality and good times get the better of me and before you know it i had gotten myself involved in this comedy dance off, with some random dude who was trying to make me commit to such foolery. The way my friend tells it is like this:

‘She sort of just started giggly moon walking backwards into a crowd, with her boobies and BOOM she turned around, the crowd had parted and she found herself involved in this bizarre Manchester dance off. YET unlike a normal human being, she didn’t just politely walk off with a smile, SHE FUCKING COMMITTED TO IT. And i couldn’t piss myself more.’

From my point of view, i knew i was going for it mid moonwalk, as fuck it, we need silly fun times to feel alive. I only have 34 days left of the year. 😉 I just didn’t realize how intense my opponent was. Lol. I thought it was going to be a laugh! Not the flipping ‘Britains Got Talent’ finals. Then my Pride kicked in and i couldn’t be shit, even though i was laughing it off…so i went for it. I went for it like a dickhead who over tries on the karaoke, when they can sing a bit, but  can’t actually sing that great, however, they think the can. That was me…in some bar…in boobs…in my House of CB dress…in Manchester.

He was popping and locking and busting and thrusting. He was all over it, but kinda shit too. So it made my job easier, as the crowd focused on looks and the funnest being and i totally won that war. 😉 I went for it. Then i had him, because there’s only a point where in which a guy an actually contain himself, around a girl who has all her focus upon him and is BEING EXTREMELY SEXY & FLIRTY TO WIN infront of him, in the form of gyratey dance moves. 🙂 After that point, testosterone kicks in and all sorts happen to their ‘parts’ and their minds and BOOM they become weak.

I could see him thinking it through mid body pop…

‘Does she fancy me? Would i actually be able to get my end away? Nooo, she just wants to the win the dance off? Wait? Does she fancy me?’ 

HAHAHAHAHAHA!

He lost his cool, he ended up falling to pieces, I WHOPPED OUT ‘THE ROBOT!’ Yes, i didn’t even know i could DO ‘The Robot’ but i committed to the basic yet fulfilling art of it, like a demon.

Everything *paused* and like i was Rocky Balboa, the crowd cheered and I won the Dance Off. He even offered to buy me a drink afterward, but I smiled, patted him on the back and tottered off. Then I tickled away to Tattu as it was so much better than hooligans and boners in bars. LOL. I’ve done lots this weekend. I’ve been everywhere, Manchester, Doncaster, Leeds. I hit The Botanist the other evening in Leeds with friends. I feel like i’ve lived a little.

It’s weird, as even though there’s this very apparent ‘up for a laugh’ adventure streak in me…there’s an odd swirl of sophistication that dances around with that…I’m a hard chick to read. Most people get it wrong. But i hope you don’t.

The next morning i was back with the babies, doing Santa’s Grotto’s at The Frenchgate shopping centre in Doncaster, we did Toy R Us, lunches, we did the Prosecco Pit Stop 🙂 , lights, rides, fun, CHRISTMAS and I pretty much gave them the most wonderful weekend that we have probably ever had as a family, in a really LONG time. I spoilt them rotten. I let them have whatever they wanted, do whatever they wanted and just live. (They’re not crazy, so it wasn’t so hardcore.) But they loved it so much because they’re eyes beamed when they smiled at me and their little Wunna hearts beated with excitement. You could just SEE that they felt so special, which made so happy.

The evening was spend in pj’s cuddling up, by the Christmas tree, watching telly and eating popcorn. BLISS! Even though i’ve been out and about, i’ve been blessed with so much of the very best family time.

This morning, i had ‘Daddy drop off’s.’ Like I’ve always said, Pete, Keiran and I co/parent so well with one another. We have our ups and downs, but the thing we have in common is the one thng we focus on and that’s the love of our children. I mean this morning, Ruby, Junior, My Mum, Keiran and I did breakfast at Ackworth Garden Centre, which was a place that was filled with love and Christmas. The kids LOVED IT. I loved it as i got to banter with old friends. And Keiran loved it as he felt part of a family. There was something about him today that made me want to care for him, as i guess when you’re the Dad part of the ‘separated parents’ malarky, Christmas isn’t as fun. On my end, it’s busy and joyous, exciting and wild. The babies are everywhere and we’re enjoying it loudly with bells on. Today he was happy, we got along great, but he had something missing from his soul…and that was everything that i had…The family. He misses it. I know him better than anyone…he misses it. He’s watching the kids grow up and that’s hard on him. He’s watching me grow…and that’s hard on him. He’s not a bad guy, bless him.

Always one to make people cheery, with smiles and laughter I looked at him and said,

‘Gosh! You’ve got to put a tree up Keiran. You don’t hate Christmas. You LOVE Christmas. You love getting gifts! You have Ruby and Junior! You can come spend Christmas with us. It’s not just another day. You’re not alone!!’

After that we laughed, chatted, played with Ruby and Junior and did the baby exchange. Then Ruby, my mum and I, met my dad and brother for lunch together at The Mallard. Where i did wine. Yipppeee!

Right now, i’m in a Fox Onesie and i don’t even know how that’s happened?? I was moderately moany about it at first…Yet now that my boilers broken and not getting fixed until tomorrow, the Fox onesie is a marvel.

 

 

 

Reflective, Rummy, Right, Wrong Life Coaching

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I thought today seemed somewhat average, until I got myself home, slipped into the comfiest pj’s, had a quick phone chat with a good friend, who  motivates me, tied knots at the end of a few business bits, welcomed my Mum and poured myself a fresh gin and tonic. Once i had sat on my bed and hit that ‘starfish’ relax mode button…i sort of reflected back over my day and realised how great it actually was..and i think it was because it ended on a moment, where in which i found myself getting to know someone, who i’ve known is great and known for a short while, yet didn’t realize HOW great. It was sort of moment where in which your rapport/relationship with another being, (in my case a work chick) steps onto a new level of closeness and ‘getting to know.’I love expressive people and i love learning, understanding and sharing life experience and it seems that in that moment, time didn’t matter and we could have sat and chatted for hours over wine. We seem really different, but we have similar values and i respected her with laughter and love, simply because like me, she’s a being who no matter what will tend to whatever life chucks at her, find a solution, love and get through life with bells on…because you have to..and at the same time understand how important is it to ENJOY life. Cherish them.

She made my day worth it.

On a funnier note, and much earlier on…There i was all perky, just chatting about psychics, my humourous failed marriages, my love and everything inbetween, with all the blonds, in all of the land, as I stalked people on twitter on my lunch break and didn’t get a salad like i intended.

There was back ache and chicks wishing for ‘Menopause for Christmas.’ It got so chirpy that i listened in and belly laughed at  friends who had chosen a to theme the upcoming months with vibes of a distinct smoggy tone. LOL. It was so joyous, you could’ve slit your wrists to Adele songs…

‘It’s like Desperate December, Dry January, Fuck All February, Moody March, Awful April… IT NEVER ENDS.’

You kinda had to be there, to appreciate the moment, but it ended up being so hilarious, to the point where the life *pause* button was hit and giant laughter filled the room. (I loved ‘Fuck All Feb!’ Haha.)

I’ve got a lot going on right now. Day job, babies, blog, social stuff and this whole showbizzy magic that suddenly sprouted from nowhere. I’m being offered a lot of opportunity and to the point where i’m even having to pinch myself.

There’s a lot of interest in the blog right now, which i adore because it about life, well my version of life in general. Some people love it, some people think it’s pointless, some people live for it, read it when bored…or hate it. Yet the people with their own blogs, who waste their time hating on it, or the ones who are far to evil in their sense of competition, are usually the people who aren’t doing as well. 😉 So i’m laughing. When YOU wake up to your ‘blue tick,’ then that’s when you can sort of ‘size your blog up’ against mine. So SHUSH. *Selfie here.* Be positive and concentrate on your own delicious life content, instead of picking holes in mine. Have a RUM cocktail. (They do great ones in Tiki Bars in Manchester. 😉 )

Rant over. Bra adjusted. Can you tell i’m ‘due on.’ 🙂

I had a great convo today about love and breakups. Y’know when people hold onto the past after breaking up with someone that they may have been with for years, like say…three or four years… Or whatever it is?  Yes it is a long while to spend & share with another human that you love. However,  you shouldn’t be glum after breakups that are meant to happen, because if you look at the BIG PICTURE… FOUR YEARS, in comparison to the amount of life that you have left on this planet..as in DECADES AND DECADES AND DECADES AND MORE DECADES (if you’re lucky) isn’t that long. It’s like mulling over 3 little years, when you have 4o somthing or more years LEFT of your life. That’s a lot of life to fit a lot of new beginnings or true love in. Those 3 or 4 years really ARE ‘just a chapter,’ of your story, until to finally end up with your soulmate.

If people just looked at things more positively…then they wouldn’t hold onto the ‘ouchy’ parts. Everything happens for a reason, so take the time to see what’s currently great in your life and why it is! By all means feel pain. It’s healthy. I’m an emotional, yet glamourous soul and i’ll feel everything. (Even you. 😉 ) Even if there is a sense of bravado that is displayed. Yet don’t dwell. Just remember. Experience is essential, be it good or bad, as it forms you. SAY ‘YES’ TO MORE THINGS, learn to say ‘no’ when you’re selling yourself short and create ways positively to adapt to life, when things have maybe changed permanently.

I’ve had a lot of change this year. But it’s been a great year for me. It’s been eventful, alive and champagne dripped in moments, filled with good times and laughter. Right now, if i’m honest, i’m going through a healing time, because so much has happened all at once and yeah it has been wonderful, but ofcourse a shock to my system. Change shocks me, so i need these reflective moments of ‘heal.’

I’m such an ego maniac that i know all the great things about myself. Lol. But i have noticed that i don’t always take credit where credit is maybe due and by nature i’m great at BEING generous to others, be it in work, play or love. However, i need to make sure, moving forward that others are being generous towards ME also. I need to  make sure that things are fair and that i’m never being taken advantage of…and it’s those moments of ‘heal,’ that’s what I need to work on.

It’s a happy time of year for me. I’m lucky. But i am noticing around me that it’s a strange time of year for others. As like i said, this time of year is reflective and ‘togethery.’ People tend to be reminded of the year and memories (good or bad)  and they over what they could’ve had, or should’ve done…It sort of all gets replayed, doesn’t it? Don’t feel bad if you’re going through that phase, as it really is a normal part of being human. Just don’t let it control you and instead try to simply ponder the moments, rub out those sandy footprints and make a point of moving forward with a positive outlook and that first strong,’after a long day’ cocktail. That way you CAN’T go backwards…and can only march forwards.

I’m not sure who died and made me ‘Queen of Life,’ but they did.. SO THERE. 🙂

GIVE ME WINE!

 

 

 

 

 

 

Dating as a 30 Something & Gin.


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Today began in a more stressy fashion when taxi companies lied to me with ‘just around the corners…it’ll be five minutes.’ An hour and a half later, with big hair, the new Estee Lauder bronzer on my kitty cheeks and a change of work coats, I took matters into my own diva hands, called another company and got to work in fifteen minutes. Still late, which I HATE. If i despise anything it’s being late for anything, or people being late for me. 🙂 Yet with understanding words and an ‘in taxi’ resting bitch face that could win awards…things panned out alright, as hey…it’s Christmas…the season of working hard, playing hard and not letting the niggly shit that you can’t help get to you.

THEN part of my life was spent knelt on the floor, with scissors and cardboard, in jumper boobs and work trousers…as I wrapped a Christmas tree in tin foil, as onlooking colleagues mocked my existence and talents. LOL. I almost had a meltdown, as it seems i don’t have the patience for such Tom Foolery. Tin foil is not your friend. It hates you. But I survived it. I just remember looking up at ‘Firmonnell’ and saying:

‘Is this part of my life over yet?’

And hey..It was! Yipppeeee! So again…not so bad. At least i looked good doing it.

Away from that and with a hair toss…

I’m getting LOADS of messages in regards to my love life. You all want to know what’s going on and if i knew myself, i’d tell you?

Dating at 30 something is hard, be you a guy or a girl, as you pretty much have your life and ways set. SO SET that you become more choosy when it comes to letting new folk in to ‘do forever,’ with ya. Plus, 30 somethings are now looking good, making money and if they’re not already settled down and single, they’re either not bothered as life is dandy anyhow, jaded, or fretting about having no lover. It kinda goes in waves, doesn’t it? I know that I’ll dip in and out of each box…in heels.

I’m really great on a date, as i’m chatty and fun, sexy and…(i can’t think of anything else?) Yet, i will say sometimes, i’ll feel nervous and when i do (like i’m a guy) I’ll delicately and glamourously push a ‘panic button’ and a GIANT pink, transparent force field will slowly and sexily raise around me, until i feel 90% comfy. It can take a bit of beckoning from the other party….even if it seems as though i’m being more than confident. (I remember when I bumped into a guy in LA and I told him that I was a total loon and 90% a mess. I’d just gotten divorced. He looked, smiled and said, ‘90% a mess? That’s 10% all good honey, I’m in!! ‘ 😊 )

But moving on, as it’s making me feel weird…

I’ve said it once and i’ll say it 42 times, I AM NOT ON TINDER or any such sites. If you believe you are sexy chatting with me, on any random or popular dating site…you really are not. It’s not me.  I’m sure the Tinder version of me is much naughtier via written word. I can’t type dirty, i find it too hilarious. It doesn’t feel real, it feels more funny. Like a prank. Doesn’t mean that i’m not ‘naughty’ when i’m meant to be ‘naughty,’ so to speak. *Wink here.* I’m sensual by nature.  But no, i’m not on Tinder or POF or any of that diddly dum. I find it the most awful way find ‘true love.’ To me it all seems like ‘hook ups’ and unserious talking to people for no reason, or boredom. It’s dull. It’s definitely for some people, but for me at thirty five, with all my shit together, a bit of glitz, a whole lot of glam and a ‘Wunna’ tag, I see it as the most unromantic way to potentially find love. *SWIPE*

I’m a chemistry kinda gal. I need to be in front of  you face to face, body to body, mind to mind…with cocktails (ofcourse) in order to feel something more than ‘bants.’ I HAVE to be able to feel something. (That sounded fun. 🙂 ) To be honest, I don’t have enough time to Tinker on Dating sites. The easier a guy makes it on me the better. I don’t like boys that are too challenging. I like to get my own way. 😃 Don’t get me wrong, LOADS of my friends have found love on plenty of dating sites.Yet for me it just doesn’t work. I can’t be bothered. It’s dull. I’d rather be single in the city until Mr.Right taps me on the shoulder and smiles.

Plus, I have this theory that boys who want to date you tend to hide behind an online bravado don’t they? They can talk the talk, yet often are unable to walk the walk. I mean surely a real man would connect with you somehow, call you/message  you and then just ask you out on a drink/date or meet up. It’s called being NORMAL and being a GENTLEMAN. If they can’t do that…then they’re too scared and obviously need to sup a can of ‘Man Up.’ Why have men stopped being brave?

God! I went on a rant then and i have no clue why? I need gin. It shuts me up and refreshes me like a ‘Ctrl+Alt+Del.’

‘Spanish Doctor’ Whatsapp’d me today. It was bizarre because i had forgotten about him. I had to even think if it was even this year or last year when i met him? AGES AGO! I shouldn’t have met him really, as he only wanted to try and bone me, however silly me didn’t realize at the time and when i didn’t ‘put out’ he got narky. But i just couldn’t find it in myself to be attracted to him enough to want to get sexy…and I’m not like that. His personality sucked and it concerned me. Lol.  I remember being sat away from him, with my arms crossed pulling moody faces because I didn’t feel comfortable around him in the end. I know, lol! Very mature of me.  BUT IF YOU HAVE EVER HAD THE ABSOLUTE PLEASURE OF GOING ON A DATE WITH ME 🙂 YOU WILL KNOW THAT SUCH BEHAVIOUR DOES NOT OCCUR. Hahaha!

I just ignored his message. He’s a strange one…Yet he served a purpose as it was a time where in which i had come out of a relationship with Ben, who wasn’t really fulfilling my soul and I needed to just feel again, as my heart was just soaked in absolute utter boredom. I felt like a baby sitter. I felt like the guy in that relationship,

It’s weird isn’t it, because you have to be with someone who’s exactly GREAT for YOU. I was having this convo with ‘London Business Man’ the other day, in regards to him picking a chick to date. It’s like they can’t be so ‘cherry pie,’ as being a being like i am….it really doesn’t stimulate you. Yet they can’t be an absolute crazy nut job, always depressed or down or an absolute dickhead either. There has to be a balance where in which they’re a bit of everything, your best friend, expressive, fun, loving, thoughtful, but you are so physically attracted to them that your sex life is decent and you’re not just dull *high five* buds.

I’ve rambled. I’m off to have gin.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Port Dripped, Happy Fairy Lit Moments

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Today i learnt that what we have left of the rest of the year is all about letting loose, having fun, being more positive and enjoying that time with close friends, loved ones, work colleagues and family.

We’ve all worked really hard this year haven’t we? We’ve all been through a lot. We’ve had ups, downs, good surprises, bad surprises, achievements and not enough wine. 🙂 And for those of you who have been through tough times, know that those moments will simply become memories and you have amazing times set out for you in the future. If you just let them happen. All you have to do is look around you, notice what makes you smile and believe you’re set for great times to come. For those of you who have had experienced amazing moments, where in which you cannot even believe how lucky you’ve been (which makes me smile) know that it’s simply the beginning of the most charmed next year to come and you are ever so lucky to be blessed with such happiness.

Me. I have glitter nails. Opportunity a knocking. Great work friends, who are like family. The best babies in the world ever. A loving family. Did i say glitter nails? I wore my specs all day because my contact lenses hadn’t arrived yet and i got blown away in the the most angry gust of aggressive wind, whilst being attached to a pastel coloured ‘Hello Kitty’ umbrella, as the rain POURED down and a street DJ on a stage set up was playing ‘All I want for Christmas’ by Mariah Carey and trying to make me sing along, as this poor guy was cooking noodles on a stand that looked like it was about to fly to Oz and and on the Wicked Witch of the West! It was that windy.

I’ve had fun. And things have made me smile. Junior’s currently punching me, with this new toy spring gun that he has, which has a fist on the end of it, that once triggered, springs out and twats you on the head repeatedly. Ruby is flouncing around taking videos and pictures of everything she sees with a creative flair that is beyond her years. (Last night they fought because Junior kept hiding freshly baked buns in his goolies. It was both creepy and hilarious all at the same time. I love my kids. Lol.)

London Business Man messaged me today, showing me that ‘Facebook’ had suggested that he gets excited about my birthday. LOL. YES! You all should be saving up and planning Wunna surprises. It kinda made me smile that he actually took the time to care that it would be my birthday in a month’s time. Even if it was done in humour. I turn thirty six in just under a month. I want gifts and good times. Lol. I love that he’s turned into such a good friend by accident. He’s also just got ‘curbed’ by his girlfriend which makes his Christmas a bit dodgy, as they had planned a trip away. However, i’m sure they’ll manage to get back on track.

‘Eton Mess’ i haven’t heard from him since before the weekend. I hope he’s okay. I’m sure he is.

Y’know, you should all put your Christmas trees up. I told you that mine was up and OH MY GOD it makes you feel so cosy. It’s wonderful. It feels warm and almost like life is sponged over with a bubbly love and Port dripped whirl of comfiness. But being a Christmas baby, fairylights and tinsel times are the absolute ‘norm’ to me, as i was born with it all around me with a ‘Hey Wunna, Welcome to the world.’ It comforts me. I feel happy and powerful during Christmas. It’s almost so sexy it dribbles gold dust.

I don’t really have much more to say to you other than for you all to truly ENJOY the rest of the year. I don’t want to see anymore miserable faces. Life’s not that bad, cheer up…find silver linings, get with the fun, love and embrace it. Surround yourself around positive souls. It’s good for your heart. Cut out the ‘don’t matter’ shit and simply because it doesn’t matter. There’s no point stressing over things that aren’t worth stressing about. TREASURE the happy moments and the GREAT people you have in your life. Notice them. Keep them in your world and by your side. Share great times with them.

Drink cocktails.

If you don’t, you’re a fool.

Thank you for following my life.