Last night when ‘Ego’ saved our life


So, Friday night was Danielle’s leaving do! Most of us had worked all day, made sure we didn’t eat all day, rushed home, spruced up to the nine’s and with glitz in our eyes, strutted, drove or taxied to ‘Malones’ to say our ‘Goodbyes’ to ‘Leaving Danielle’ and celebrate her sail into her very next nursey chapter.

I was in a pinstripe, ‘peek a boob’ dress and heels, armed with a gift wrapped present, snuggled in a tiny coat, walking my way through a rainy, night time drizzle. The weather was shitty, but i was just excited to see ‘Greedy.’ (Danielle) So the cold, rain and wind, didn’t matter.

Got there early. I’m always early to nights out and I was immediately greeted by Florence, Katie and Lucy, who were part of the part and all dressed in black, glammy outfits, which pretty much made them Ackworth’s answer to The Kardashians. They looked amazing.

All smiles, all happy and as soon as I take one foot in the door, Katie turns around and says, ‘There isn’t a booking?’

Jaws drop. I immediately know that this is gonna piss Danielle off. But yes, she had called and made a dinner booking for 20 people at Malones…TWENTY PEOPLE, who had all travelled from all over town…and they hadn’t penned it in their diary, so had no recollection of the call, booking or anything. Lol

Everyone’s arriving faster and faster and we’re all just stood around, with a drink, looking like spare parts, with people eating around us, their staff looking panicked and maungey…and with nowhere to sit, and nothing to do.

Danielle arrives, gets in a huff, speaks to the manager and they open a dark function room for us, all cold and night clubby. I mean, i’m positive by nature, so i’m glad they did something, yet it sort of felt like a very empty ‘Biggies,’ and when you have people ranging from the ages 17 to Sixty, who were expecting DINNER… it’s probably not the best situation.

All’s okay, but we’re obviously just making the best of a bad situation. The good thing is that we all get on so well that we sat, opened gifts and chattered, gossiped, giggled, laughed, talked about work, life, futures, Danielle and pouting. It was actually tremendous fun. I loved it. So it goes to prove that it doesn’t matter where you are, it’s who you’re with that counts. It was good to catch up, get out, have fun, have drinks.

However, all that said and done…bottom line, you can’t leave 20 people from Yorkshire, with NO FOOD. Lol. The owner came in and made Danielle literally scroll through her phone to prove that she had called. (Bad manners.) She had, so then they were a bit fucked. But instead of simply saying they couldn’t do it, or they were sorry…they attempted to, which was so much worse.

We must have waited over an hour for three tiny starters, whilst we all tried to entertain ourselves…and then ended up waiting TWO WHOLE HOURS, FOR NO FOOD. Lol.

We all hadn’t eating and we’re now getting inappropriately tipsy. We asked the kitchen and the staff if they had even started our food…and they couldn’t seem to even answer?? We were all getting irritable, whilst waiting for 20 dishes…so in the end, i got the nod and I called ‘Ego’ in Ackworth and asked if they would kindly open the kitchen and seat 20 people, at the very last minute FOR DINNER..

And do you know what?

They DID!!!

How amazing! I mean you couldn’t even ask for better service. They have always gone above and beyond their call of duty for me and it is honestly one of my favourite places. It’s moments like that which can make who never want to go to a place like Malones again.

So yeah, we had all put in food orders and eating 3 starters, but fuck it, we all walked out after Ego confirmed that they would gladly have us…and we left with smiles to take dinner somewhere else.

As soon as we walked into Ego, we were greeted by Jodie the General Manager with kindness, fun, smiles and just brilliance. All 20 of us where seated straight away, we all bought drinks and within fifteen minutes, each and every one of us, had our delicious, fine dining meals in front of us! Boom!!!

The ambiance was immediately, lighter, better and more glamourous. We all had fun. We were happy that we had eaten and well, what can I say, service is key!

After dinner, we all ventured home. I had work the next morning…Danielle and Jenna went into town for partying…and the evening ended up…and because of Ego…being AMAZING.

Gonna miss you Danielle. xxx

One Piece Friday


Right, the aim of my day, is to just get through it in one pretty piece, without getting too bored, or too busy and simply so I can reach the finish line, with a few extra pences in my glitzy lined pocket and go to Danielle’s Leaving do.

Danielle and I were talking about strippers with nipple tassels and willies, last night. I’ve raised her well. She’ll be lucky to have normal  friends at Uni, after i’ve finished with her. Lol. She wanted a last minute stripper…I suggested a friend….she said she wasn’t that desperate…then we giggled and I hoped she had nightmares. GOD I MISS HER!

Who am I even gonna banter with today???

I’ve been online shopping..well browsing more than anything, for things to Vlog about. I’m rubbish at shopping online at times, as my mind runs faster than my screen and everything gets jarred, jammed and panicked.

I haven’t gotten anything yet, as i get distracted and just want to buy things that are luxurious and impractical.

I’m into facial massages though right now. Are you?

Wunna. x

Ps/ Ben text me last night saying that I was the girl who had his heart forever. Made me smile. Love him. x (I’m that easy. Lol)

Uneventful Thursday Straddles


When the highlight of your day was watching an over 80 year old lady, place a tiny plastic, wind up dog, that does flips in front of you every 3 seconds, after she has explained that she has just stood upon her kitchen counter and straddled the sink to wash her *pom pom* know you’re either the luckiest girl in the world, or need a better life. Lol. To be honest, i hope that I’m that agile at 80. I’m sure i’ll just be wrapped in 100 leopard print blankets, moaning about life and shouting at butlers to pass me my diamantes, with a crumpet and a cuppa tea. Remind me to straddle kitchen sinks and find joy in wind up dogs. There was almost an innocence to it, that kinda made a chick like moi, smile. :)

The rest of the day was Thursday. A ‘nothing to do’ Thursday, at work. The weather is cold. It’s a dodgy time of year. People are trying to embrace ‘Valentines,’ however still can’t be bothered yet.

How was your Thursday?

The end of the day was juiced up by my ‘imaginary friend Jenna’ hitting herself on the head with a lamb, woolen mitt, that was attached to a stick. Four minutes later, i tried to help, but all i did was accidentally hit myself in the face (OH THE FACE) with the lamb woolen mitt, on a stick.

That was about it. I didn’t feel too mentally stimulated or inspired today. but you get days like that, don’t you? In those moments you just have to be grateful that you’re alive and in a better off position that those less fortunate. Lol. (When you’re reaching for ‘those less fortunate’ as a comparison…things aren’t spiffy! (I have wine.)

Y’know how i said, that all girls should treat themselves each week, in order to feel ace. Well i did. I bought myself the ‘Honey love’ lipstick by Man, with a couple eye shadows to make me feel appreciated. :) I never really get chance to give myself a little treat, so it felt good. It doesn’t matter what you ‘treat’ yourself too…as long as it’s something you WANT and not something you NEED.

I’m saving well. Infact, I got super inspired today by a girl, who is so young but manages to save a bunch of dough, because her head is screwed on correctly. It made me set up another savings account up immediately and transfer money into it. Made me feel good and sort of impressed that someone that young could be so smart.

I’ve wrapped up Danielle’s leaving present. (She’s left the work place and i miss her..everything about her. Luckily, it’s her leaving do tomorrow at ‘Malones,’ in Ackworth…so i’ll get to gift her and say ‘bye bye.’)

I’m having a ‘girls night’ with Ruby, she’s brilliant and loving every moment of it. We’ve played, worked, chattered and done warm stew. She bathed and giggled…then I got into the most deliciously warm bath, only to *urk* myself out.

WHAT IS WORST than the moment, you look into your bath and realize that you’re relaxing in a fake tan bath. Lol! That gross moment, where your bath water is tinged with orange…which mixed with bubbles looks swamp water.

I stepped out my fake tan bath and sighed. Then I missed Ben…but i’m excited to see him next! He’s being really productive, so he tells me. See, told you it was positive. Plus, I sure as hell appreciate him more.

We’re texting, we’re missing each other…and life is still great between us.

Right, i’m off to finish wine and chill.

Hope your Thursday was a bit more eventful.

Chrissie x

Bonds, Past and Futures


Thursday! Thursday! Almost Saturday (my last day of the work week. Can’t wait!)

Didn’t drink at all last night? Losing my touch. Thought about the future. Got excited! Missed Ben, so texted him. We’re still madly in love. Watched Junior…which broke my heart!

Every Wednesday he goes to Keiran’s and it’s a usual nursery pick up, that Junior’s really weirdly aware of…and hates. I mean, Keiran and I have even discussed it, as we have no idea why he hates leaving to go there so much. But he underlined it as ‘he’s a Mummy’s boy.’ Which I know sort of sucks for Daddy, but it kinda rocks for me. :) And…having watched this before with Ruby….I just feel like I know what will happen. He was at mine late last night, kind, playful with the children, looking a little tired, a little hurt, as of course it’s not nice to hear Junior do the ‘go away Daddy’ spiel. Especially because Keiran’s quite sensitive to that. In the end, Junior was bribed appropriately lol and left. Yet at the end of the day and i know it’s hard on Keiran, to sort of watch his family move on…happily… and for him to maybe not have the sort of bond that be truly would’ve wished for with both the babies. I mean, Pete and Ruby are SOOOOOOOO CLOSE now and it’s lovely to watch. Both children are obviously close with me, as i’m ‘Mama.’ Keiran’s sort of now become this after thought…But like i said four years ago, when stubborn little Keiran, thought for the minute in front of him, instead of the years ahead of him. The consequences…………well the consequences for him….. haven’t really worked out. It’s sad.

But on a better note! I’m feeling over the moon. Great night with Ruby, eating olives, veggie crisps (she has weird taste,) talking fairy doors, doing homework, gossiping about school and boys. I read her two books in bed, and she now has this ritual, where in which she gently pulls my eyelashes off my eyelids and when she does, she ready to roll over and get some shut eye. Awww!

Up early. Happy as can be. I’m feeling organized and excited to get back Vlogging. Ben is going to help me. We’re missing each other a lot right now. But the bond we have is strong, so I’ll see him soon. I’m working as per usual and tomorrow I have Danielle’s leaving do to tend to!

Everything feels good. I’m chipper. I’m looking okay. I’m saving. I’m regrouping mentally and emotionally. I think that I’m the kind of being who needs to always make sure that I’m okay whilst i’m on my own….always. It’s like giving yourself an emotional MOT check. I think I adore the idea of togetherness so much, that it scares me, incase I don’t have it anymore. And once in a while, I need to retreat, just to make sure, that without, i am still perfectly fine! :)

I’m definitely far less maungey and well, it’s almost time for ladies..I’m off!

Have a good one x



Cake watching…


Honestly! Who on this earth puts me in charge of a cake! I mean, you just wouldn’t would you! Lol. I mean, you just wouldn’t look at me, after you’ve slaved over baking the most delicious in the Universe and then say, ‘Wunna, watch it, so it doesn’t burn, i’m leaving.’ *Whaaaat?* HAHAHAH. I nearly died the other day! Bottom line, if you don’t want things to maybe get burnt, don’t leave me in charge of ‘the watch.’ Lol.

It didn’t burn. I aced it. I winked at that Goddamn thing and it championed to perfection. It would wouldn’t It. (I did burn a little, but Katie, who baked the cake, is nicer than I am when it comes to the feelings of others…well…ahahaha, sort of…so she made me feel better for burning bits of it, like i hadn’t burnt any bits at all. HAHAHA. Sweet!)

However, lesson learnt to all! Don’t leave me charge of cakes that aren’t fully cooked yet. I’m better with the fully cooked finished product! I don’t have the discipline to be so cautious with cakes, as I pay no attention to detail when it comes to the little things that don’t matter too much. Lol.

Who puts me in charge of cake watching? I mean, put me in charge of naked dancing boys. A conga line. Cocktail sipping. Or watching dramatic eye-lining tutorials. I’m never watching cake again. So much pressure. So little time. 😉 *Giggles*

Hope your Wednesday is going well x

Start all over again…


My apologies! I’ve been losing my mind. :) I’m back now though and my mind is utterly in one working piece. I’m going to blame the cold for it and simply because ‘the boogie’ doesn’t deserve the blame this time. But yes, I don’t know if i’m hormonal or what? But I definitely decided to go mental and lose the plot. Yipppeee!

I have HEAT! I actually got it Sunday. My home filled with warmth and whilst it was I caught up with Benny, did lunch, drinks, brunch the next day and chattered. I had a teary eyed moment. He had a teary eyed moment. Loved was restored. (It had always been there.) Yet, we’re still living in separate residences, so we can both pull ourselves together and get to a place where we can reign with victory. We’re missing each other….but it’s a good thing on the whole. I mean, you can’t sustain a healthy relationship, if you’re both not yet in a place, where you feel completely mighty, whole and well..happy, right? We’re doing well. He really loves me. I really love him. We’re getting it right and massaging the *blip* as he calls it, with love and sense. Ben’s not actually too phased by a ‘blip’ with me, which I admire. My  past ‘blips’ have usually ended in fights or divorce. Lol. I mean, gosh yes, He’ll have a moment of stubborn, then he’ll adjust and with an open heart return with solutions. I like that, as it helps when you’re trying to do ‘forever.’

I couldn’t sleep at all last night. The rain and cold is annoying, but hilarious because it just isn’t getting much better weather wise, is it? Lol. I laid wide awake in bed, with nothing to think about other than the fact that I didn’t know how to make my hair grow, so I could be extension free. :) I have no clue as to why my mind felt that was such an important matter. But i think because I had Baby J laid next to me, I felt completely at peace, so my head went on chill mode and tangoed with frivolous thoughts of glamour.

I’m back at work until Saturday. Monday I went all shouty and weird because I couldn’t Vlog. I don’t know if it was because I hate not being able to do something that I really want to do with all my heart, or if I missed Ben and figured that I’d shout at myself, walls and cameras that i couldn’t work for a release. Probably a bit of both. HAHAHA. I was in a strop and it just goes to show you that when you’re in a miserable mood, miserable things happen.

From that point on, the radiator upstairs started leaking, to the point where i had to be a hilbilly and place a large cooking pot under it, to catch droplets of mucky water.

Then I tried to do ‘washing clothes’ and instead FLOODED my ENTIRE KITCHEN. Lol.

Everything just went tits up and then some, to the point where it was hilarious. I never needed help more! As you can imagine, with me being a glamour puss, I AM SHIT, in these moments. I just like them to be sorted for me. All girls do. We need men for these moments. And don’t get me wrong, i’m all independent and ‘hoorah,’ when it comes to making money, working hard, looking after babies and being creative…yet there is still a big streak in me that believes there are ‘jobs for the girls’ and ‘jobs for the boys.’ (Every feminist will attack me for it. Lol)

I never want to flood my kitchen again! I never should take two days off work in a row. I mean, for fucks sake, that was crazy. Broken boiler, not heat, the flirt of actual heat, followed by mayhem. It destroyed me. It was devastating. I laughed, sorted it out, shrugged it off and enjoyed every single waking minute with Ruby and Junior. (Which made me forget everything and glued my world back together with love.)

To be honest, the children were the most helpful children in all the land. I’m really lucky to have them. They’re actually realized a lot better than I thought? HAHA. Ruby might be a Diva, but she is incredibly great when it comes to tricky situations. (She’s actually missing Ben now. Typical.) Junior is just helpful and kind by nature, wrapped up in a giggle Burmese bundle of swirls. We all chilled out, ate cottage pie and watched a movie.

I went back to work yesterday and started all over again….


I definitely need these shirts on sale via my website. :) Blunt, to the point and with a twist of fashion and adoration. Hellloooo! Music to my ears!

I’m doing REALLY WELL!! I survived the evening like a champion. I can’t even believe it! I didn’t even check into a hotel for anything. 😉 I did venture out for a couple drinks and met friends by accident. But only because it was warmer. And I definitely didn’t nearly turn ‘right’ into Lee the POLICEMAN the other day. Lol. (Of all the things to nearly hit into! Luckily, I didn’t and he knew me because of cups of tea, so he let me off and when i did see him 20 minutes afterward, as he smiled and shook his head at him, I simply pointed out that i performed great swerving.) I forgot to tell you that!

It was also brought to my attention that I have the WORLDS WARMEST quilt ever and that I should be really grateful for that! (By next week, i’ll probably have a bunch of homeless people under my leopard print sheets, simply because it’s warm. Not really. Right now, I wouldn’t be able to bath them pr do their hair. Lol)

I’m waiting for the bolier man. (Sounds like a creepy nursery rhyme.) The times British Gas have given me are 8.00am to 7pm. :) That’s the frame of time that I am to wait in my home for, ON MY DAY OFF for the boiler man to come. HAHAHAH. Fricking sods law!!! But i don’t care. I have candles going. Coffee brewing. It’s cold. But i’m happy. It’s kinda annoying because the babies are on their daddy days today. However, it’s better for them to be warm, then to do ‘freezing’ with mummy, simply out of selfishness.

My nose is running. I still look good. One tip that I have to keeping warm when your boiler is on the blink is to TAN!! HAHAH. And i’m not even joking, before you all start! I obviously haven’t done it this time, as it’s getting fixed within 24 hours. But whenever i’m freezing, and I TAN…i feel so much warmer. SHUT UP! It works!! *Wiggle, wink*

Ben and I have been texting. But texts are rigid aren’t they. I can never really get into them. I’m a rubbish texter, so i end up just putting my phone down, on my sofa arm and leaving it. Even when i’m cold, i’m much better in person. I can’t be arsed to do a textathon at times. All my friends know this, so are never bothered if i don’t reply. Lol. They’ll see me at some point, which is much better on the whole. I’ll text if i need to and only if i need to. He’s a rigid texter also. I reported it to him…like ya do…and he got better at it, as did I.

I’M COLD! I’ve got nothing else to do to keep warm??? Even watching cowboys punch each other in the face on my telly for reality tv, isn’t warming me up.

I do know that plonking on your coat and dancing to a ‘warm feeling’ song works to, if your cold. I forgot about that.  I’ll do that next. Not that any of you are cold, as you all have working boilers. :) *Waaaaaaaa*

The good thing is that when there’s nothing you can do about a situation, you just have to relax, laugh it off and get on with it!

More candles, coffee and giggles for me.

He better come soon!

At least, i’ll get blogging more. UGH! I totally wanted to buy Vlog things today. (The Vlogs are doing really well.)





Baby it’s cold outside


My survival skills are AMAZING. You should all tip your hats and start calling me the bouji Bear Grylls. Holy Moly. My boiler is broken! Lol. My boiler is broken on the COLDEST, WINDIEST evening in the entire world. *Add more drama here.*

So, first things first! Babies, taken care off and lovingly sent to ‘nice warm’ Grandma’s house to keep well and chipper. AS THE TEMPERATURE DROPS LIKE HELL, HERE IN WUNNA LAND! Lol. Secondly, Mummy gets home from work and sorts her den, temple, home, whatever you want to call it, OUT! Not only have I blankets, layers, the most beautifully smelling candles in all the land, (seriously my home currently smells like an explosion in Boots,) but alongside all that I have food, lots of food that makes you feel as though the world a safer place, wine and a smile. When you’re smiling….it means you’ve survived and it only means you’ve survived because you still don’t think life is that bad!

That’s what i call tough! :) And it’s much better than he last time my boiler broke down. As before, they couldn’t fix it for five entire days. (I didn’t let that happen this time and made sure that they would be out here with their merry toolboxes tomorrow. Yipppeee!) Last time, this happened…I boked the children and I into a hotel for five days straight to keep warm. :) I remember Wazza messaging me and saying, ‘Have you not hear of blankets???’ Lol. They were one and three at the time and well, if you can afford to make things a little better for them, in times of ‘first world problems’…then you should. Blankets wouldn’t have cut it. This time around and because it’s just me…I’m fine! :) TRRROOOOOOOPPPPER!

Everything’s dandy. I’ve worked all day. Danielle came in again to say her last ‘good byes’ and this time she was sadder, as it had really sunk in for her. I don’t think it’s sunk in for me as of yet because i’m so used to seeing her. It’s when you don’t see someone, when you need them that makes you feel a sense of loss, right? Bless her. She’s been one of my greatest friends at work EVER. I love her. Lots of people got her some really sentimental gifts..she welled up a little at them or smiled. She got presented with a WAD OF CASH, that all of us had put together and she cried. She did happy trickles and burst into tiny tears…over money! HAHAHAH. That’s why i love her! We have the same brain. Kindness is sweet, dosh melts our heart! HAHAHAH. Sooo bad! I’ll miss her. But i can’t wait for her evening do out! :) :)  :)

I’ve received loads of messages from you all and really my love life is fine. I’m great. It’s all positive. And we’ve communicated better today, which makes me more confident. When the babies had gone, I did do a little ‘almost cry’ over a bowl of noodles. (How Asian can you get! Lol) But i think, that i needed to, as I needed a release and i’ll never ever cry when there’s just the babies and I, because you sort of put on this fun bravado fro them. Which i honestly believe is essential! :) So, it was actually great to relax a little and have a brief Princess weep…even if it was into noodles. And why did I cry? I cried because he told me that he still loved me, which seemed to mean the world? I never thought he didn’t love me, that was never the problem, it just feels good to hear it…after such. Plus, I’m a chick who never really believes that people may appreciate me, as much as i’d wish them to. I don’t know why i think that? It’s never a big deal. But it’s more because i’ve remember every single, little, tiny moment, in my entire life, where in which someone has gone of of their way to be someone lovely, or done something lovely for me, without benefit. I remember each moment so vividly, that it must mean that it doesn’t happen every often. Lol. I always say that if you can pin point incidents, be they good or bad…then it’s something that doesn’t occur in your life, on a regular basis. I can never pin point the good things that my mum does for me, as it happens ALL THE TIME.

(Oh my GOD!!! All this is making me do more cries. Lol. I’ve just my face tooo. HOW ANNOYING!!)


Okay! I’m back! But everything’s good!

I feel really lucky and i’m happy because i’m pretty strong, emotionally, when it comes to the big things, And i don’t class strong as being emotionless. Nor do I class it as being the human who weeps and rants at everything. I don’t even class the being who can put on a brave face and smile, as being super strong (however that’s a good quality at times,) but in my mind it’s the being who can have life throw things at them, take it on the chin, pick it up, feel it, rework it and make it right.

I’m that girl 😉



Babies, Work & Move Outs.

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Work was easy today. Fun. Easy. And, I actually think it was because we finally hit a ‘payday.’ Working a ‘payday’ is always awesome, because it doesn’t matter whether you’ve made a little bit of dough, or a whole lot of dough. It just feels great to have finally *victory armed* to the finish line. Plus, it’s always much better if you’re working a ‘payday’ because it means you don’t spend it, in one giddy chunk. This is definitely my year of saving…I’m being more sensible than EVER!

It was Danielle’s last day today and she seemed really happy. Lol. We still have her leaving do, to lavish her with ‘gonna miss yooou’s,’ so i’m going to wait until then before I get to her gift giving.

Ben’s moved out. Technically, I asked him to, last night when we were fighting…and today he did. Although, it sounds all dramatic and tense, it’s not really, as i don’t see it as a negative thing. It doesn’t mean that I don’t love him, I was just concerned about Ruby and the way she felt about it all really. The change of the initial ‘move in’ wasn’t really so fast for me, yet to my little 4 year old, it was really difficult because for the past 2 years, it’s just been ‘us’ and her baby brother. It was difficult on her, to all of a sudden have a new being in the home telling her a bedtime.

And, i’m not a one sided person. As it was hard on Ben to suddenly move into a home that’s new, as part of a full of life family and try and fit in. Especially when that family is labelled ‘Wunna land.’ I mean, it’s hard to be the newbie anywhere, be it a family country, job, or anything….He did it well…but it was getting to the point where I believed a temporary ‘change of scenery’ was needed, in order for things to maybe be better again.

I was definitely happy, but i was definitely stressed with life and when i get stressed, I need space, to get back in order. It’s been on my mind constantly since i’ve been home, (The radiators aren’t working, *Waaa,*) as obviously I miss him. I’m used to him being around and well having him be away will help to make me appreciate things a bit more. I haven’t texted him about it. But i know he’s fine. If anything he’ll be much happier, which gives me peace, as when you don’t drive and you don’t have much to focus on, being away in Thorpe Audlin, shut away is really difficult. He spend numerous recent evenings up all night…..stressed, when we had all gone to bed. Being around his family, his usual surroundings and friends will make him feel better. (He hasn’t text me either. But he wouldn’t…would he. Lol)

The babies have been nothing but perfect tonight. Junior’s always fine, but at first Ruby didn’t want to stay because she thought Ben was going to be here. When she realised that he had gone…she leapt up with delight and the first thing she said was ‘it is just me you and Junior again, living here….’ like ti was all she had wanted for ages. Which told me the ‘live in’ change was far too soon for her. She needs it to be far more gradual..and nothing is more important to me than their welfare.

I took some time to talk to her about it, and she explained it like she was 14. In the end she said, ‘I do like him and I do miss him, but just a little bit, when i miss him a lot, he can move back in, but whilst i only miss him a little bit, he can stay at his mum and dads house.’ Lol

She then turned to Junior and said, ‘Do you miss Ben a little bit?’

His reply… ‘I love Ben.’ So, I don’t even know what Junior’s even gonna do!!! Lol. They’re really really close and Junior’s the opposite to Ruby as his lifestyle has been different. He’s enjoyed every single living MOMENT of having Ben at the house, because he’s never ever had a live in ‘daddy’ in his entire life.

But it’s not a sad moment, even though i feel sad. :) It’s positive.

I can’t even believe he hasn’t even text me to say that he cares, misses me or anything…that’s really odd isn’t it? It makes being ‘not as sad’ easy, because if i focus on ‘he might not even care’ my stubbornness kicks in and i don’t feel as bad.

(The radiators aren’t working.)




He Missed that Memo


This week has been looooooooooooooooooooong. Lol.

I’ve had a stressful evening. Not really a stressy, stressful one. But one that I dedicated to the babies (which I loved) and got really annoyed at with Ben.

On the whole, chicks get stressed out at boys, don’t we? Lol. We can always manage to enjoy the things that we adore about them and when we’re feeling hormonal, hard done by, or when we haven’t *voiced out* enough about the niggly things that they do, which are only niggly, but to us, at the time, seem ‘mountain’ large, we *bottle in* and then *release* Lol…as I like to say.

It’s a normal part to any girls makeup and a very normal part to any longterm relationship.

The babies are happy and fine. Love the babies!!!!!! Work was great. Really great. I was swirled in good company and banter.

As soon as I got home, something seemed all dramatic and ‘off’ button, so i expressed by self by doing the ‘ignoring’ thing. (It’s the formula we use when you walk around the house, pulling faces at your partner…yet at the same time making sure they know that your pissed off.)

Everything hit *pause* button, on that matter because the focus went on happiness, Ruby and Junior. Yet as soon as they were both rested in bed…’talking it through’ happened. Ugh.

And when ‘talking it through ‘happened, which is only the time where in which you need to express how you feel bluntly (well I do it bluntly, well I only do it bluntly because I can’t help it, i don’t like to dilly dally and i’m just a direct person.) it went tits up and pear shaped, because he argued it out with ‘silly bits’ and when i think i’m right…you can’t argue ANYTHING out with me…as i’m lawyer good and filled with lovey blow, home truths. I’m always pretty calm, but I guess in that moment, you want the guy to be ultra kind, ultra loving and I guess just understanding. That’s how we expect them to react to our stick of dynamite, isn’t it? Lol. WE want them to talk it through with us, get where we’re coming from and deliver some kind of manly, yet happy solution to make it all better. He missed that memo. Guys always miss that memo. And the subject matter of the ‘talking it through’ wasn’t even major. But because it wasn’t diffused immediately…it went on.

That’s currently where we are with it now………


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