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Okay, so i’m deliciously excited and a little bit nervy because at 9.30pm, i’m going to get picked up by a ‘Handsome’ who i’ll be spending ‘get to know each other more’ time with. I love dates because i’m a girly girl and i enjoy excitement, but it  is rather nerve racking. I’ve just got out the bath, fake tanned, done my face and and hair. I’m currently in baby blue pyjamas and picking out something lovely, yet casual to wear. I’m not gonna try too hard, because it terrifies them and they get all shy. I don’t really know what’ll work, but i enjoy comfy little dress right now, with over the knee stocking socks and heels. (I need my best assets to work for me here. lol. Eyes. Tits. Teeth.)

Now, i’m a real life Glamour puss…like i love everything girly. Actually now i’ve said that, I think i more enjoy the ‘process’ of being a girl. How we grow, change and end up. However, it’s ‘date night’ so i’m gonna be far more superficial, and tell you that i enjoy taking the whole entire day to get ready for a date. (Wella  few jolly hours.) I enjoy the bubbly bath before. The process of slowly doing my face, with a wine (hence why it’s always a bit draggy lol.) I love picking out of outfits, the moisturising, the tanning, the hair tossing, the giddy excitement and well the entire grooming process, that takes place in order to look ‘ooh laa’ for your date. It’s fun being a girl, because we can spend hours doing it. I’m had a wonderful day. I worked in the morning, had the rest of the day off, and even though a ‘fucked up human being’ decided to text everyone like a mentalist because i didn’t want to hang out with him and go on about me being fake…i’ve managed to sort it all out with everyone i care about. I don’t even know this person, and well all i need to remember is that when ALL of your best friends are telling you to stay well clear of a being…they are usually right. I think i got saved by the Gods, because if he’s this evil now, imagine how evil he’d be in the future. (Like who honestly…and i am humoured by it, sends everyone a million text messages trying to make them hate Chrissie Wunna, when they themselves have probably spent 3 hours of their life in total with me…drunk. They are not even a friend. They know me off Twitter!! Who wastes their time, sending everyone a negative text message…in dying hope.. due to manipulation.. that they will too decide to dislike me. Lol. Awful!) Like i said before if you have to trash the life of another, in order to make yourself feel better …then you really are [insert something tragic here.] BE HAPPY! I truely dislike people like that, because he made everyone look  silly. But the good thing is the fact that it happened now…at least i’ll never have to see him again. I do not have people like that in my life. But i guess he thought I’d never find out? This is a being that i will never talk to again. *scroll delete* Weirdo! ( I would’ve actually liked him if he didn’t do all that. People like him ruin it for all the others.)

So (now that i’ve got that off my chesteroo..YAY) tonight, i’m going on a date with the boy that I met on Saturday, in Leeds, and made out with in the back of the taxi. Woohoo! I mean, since that night we’ve been texting back and forth and well tonight he figured, would be a good night to take ‘The Wunna’ out on a bit of a doo daa. (Aww.) I’ve known this boy for 10 years. We went to the same school, he was in 1st year, when i was a 6th former. And the good thing about him is that he does actually fancy Me for Me and nothing else, and i know this because he used to fancy me back then when we were back in school…at 11. Haha! I fancied him too, back then, but he was far to young. Luckily, now he’s old enough, he has been planted in my path…so we’ll have a fun time. He’s a good guy, everyone i went to school with are amazing people.

We Facebook chatted earlier…and he was nothing but polite and sweetly. I was impressed at how he sort of took the man role. I asked him what we were going to do? And i hate it when the boy does a ‘i don’t know…what ever you want,’ because i like a man to be manly and make a decision. Anyway, surprisingly he said, ‘We’re just gonna go somewhere quiet, clam and local’ (which i like!) Then he finished off with an ‘I’ll pick you up at 9.30??‘ Followed by a ‘let me know if you need more time etc..to get ready.’

I’m happy, i’m excited and i can’t wait really. Hopefully we’ll start where we finished off ..which was making out. But i fell cofident…haha…like the hot 6th former again. It’s cute because it takes us back to our childhood, and well infact, we are both in the area where our schooling took place.

I’m usually quite sceptical when i go on dates..but i’m happy with this choice. It’ll be fun and i really need to do a big wee and finish off getting ready. Really happy. I love ‘handsomes.’ Tell you all about it tomorrow. I’m gonna try and tweet…but it’s rude really. Infact, i’ll tweet if i’m having an awful time, coz i’ll need a distraction. But i doubt that will happen. He’s hot…so i’ll be distracted by beauty! Can’t wait. Fun! Plus we hung out at the weekend and it was amazing….even though i was ‘falling off stools’ drunk.

He’s cute, i mean he messaged me today with a ‘ Getting in that taxi was a GREAT IDEA!!!‘ lol (God, i hope he doesn’t read this before he picks me up. lol.) It’s a great end to a very lovely day.

As you my cherry treats of ‘winky’ were tucked up in your hopefully soiled satin sheets in dreamland. I was being pulled out of bed, looking like a pork dumpling, having my hair pulled, things plucked, an army of brushes attacking my face and then being handed a coffee with a slap, whilst being placed into baby pink jogging bottoms, sunglasses and thrown into a car that was waiting outside my house to take me to work. I had a shoot…for something i have coming up. It had to be an early morning one…due to other peoples schedules. Now, i’m not a morning Kitty, but work always comes first with me. I often have other beings (like when i was in London) try to ruin my ‘work’ by trying to sabbottage me the night before. (Nice try!) However, nothing is more important to me…i’ll always be there, ready, fresh, on time and excited. I’m not silly. (Well i am silly.) But I’m 29 and well…. i have my priorities right.

It was a gorgeous morning, sort of chilly, but crisp. Fucking springtime is here bitches. I heard birds instead of my normal North London sirens and saw smiles instead of  that angry London look of ‘pressure.’ I felt completely amazing, to the poimnt where i actually nodded and chuckled to myself, as i looked out the car window that ventured me to the studio. (I spilt my coffee down my chest. A lot of things have accidentally soiled my chest *flashback of me turning up on DK’s doorstep, after having sex with My ex-hubby Mikey in the front of his car, down a quiet West Hollywood street by gates, at night, so nobody would see and then running up to get changed to a night out with him on the tiles. Dk opened his door, looked at a giant stain on my  shirt and with a ‘DK, yeah it’s cum’ he let me in and i slipped into something less messy*..but yeah don’t you just hate it when it’s coffee that’s spilt down your top andnd mainly because there’s no story behind it. I went from looking like a Glamour Puss, to a gypo, in seconds. Then got told i was a ‘Lucky girl.’)

My shoot went amazingly well. I’m getting really excited about life right now, and it’s all because i’m being positive and loving everything and everyone around me. I went from feeling lonely and mildly used, to now feeling like i’m surrounded by happiness, hundreds of people who have known me for years..as in ten years, the most loving, warm family and a *glint* in my eye that is keeping my fun alive. I’m ON TOP OF THE WORLD right now and nothing can seem to shake that. It’s important you keep yourself surrounded by positive people. (Ooh i’m getting a text from a hot, muscled bound hero..Thankyou Lord.) Oh and remember…being a Wunna means, you NEVER need to feel like you have to explain yourself. Live YOUR life. Love YOUR friends and make YOUR mark on this land!!

Last night, i was on the phone to LA, on the phone to New york, had all my friends call me, love me, tell me off. I had a bbm banter with Samuel..who i love and miss very very much. He is one BIG reason why i wouldn’t to have left London and he is pretty much one of my closest and most dearest friends. We’ve been through so much together, and that ’so much’ is something that no-one else will ever understand, but us. I was telling him that i should’ve listened to him. I never listen, i’m always up to usual tragic jiggery pokery. I learn via trail and error…and EVERY TIME! But, i’ve got it down now, and i’m happy! Woohoo!

Then as i was running around last night getting everything ready for today, (in an odd way, i sort of kinda worked until 1am. I always do though, even when you don’t think i am.) I sauntered past my laptop…that was on my Facebook page. (I love Facebook….even though at times it goes ‘insania’ on me.) But anyway, a lot of chat boxes where blinking at me, demanding my attention. When it gets too much like that, i ignore them. Like i always say, i always dislike too much of ANYTHING at ONE GIVEN time. Be it boys, booze, boxes for even food.

Anyway, one box that i zoned in on, was from a girl, who began by telling me that she was huge fan of my blogs and read them religiously. Then she mentioned that she needed by advice because, i always seem so happy, positive and strong. (I think that’s why people often gravitate toward me? I’m good at picking people up, when they feel sort of down, however the problem is that i’m like a drug… i get told this a lot…especially by the men i’ve dated.)

Anyway, whilst being told by one of my friends that  a couple of ‘beings’ were slagging me off on Twitter for being fake trash…and trying to rally the troops (lol) *shrugs*-i’m not a negative person, a lot more has gone on in my life than that. I’m happy and hopefully they will be too. Plus, I enjoy when people i don’t know, who think they know me…. begin to rally the troops, because it means they need man power and manipulation to win…which humours me, because *spite*and *hate* is soooo ‘never get ahead.‘  I watch very carefully…at those who play ’sheep.’ I’ll never say anything, but i’ll watch. It’s certainly not my style. *Wink*

However whilst all that ‘not very important’ drama was occuring (lol) I was talking to this beautiful girl, who needed my advice because her longterm boyfriend had left her, and he had left her because she had a serious case of anorexia. He needed her to get better and claimed that until she did they would be on a ’break’ because the *spark* had gone from their relationship. THANK GOD i saw her chat box…because it made me realize very quickly what is important to me.

I immediately got chatting away with this girl. I mean i loved her, her mind, the openess and her actual courage to ask me for advice. Now, i’m not really great at advice. But i do know what it feels like to have someone leave and then take the pain out on yourself. I did it with booze and being a slag. (LOL.) This young lady is doing it with food. But, i had a good old chat with her…saw how beautiful she was and well it actually looked like she was on the mend. I guess, all people need is your time? But yeah she’ll be going to rehab as soon as she can to get better. I’m all for REHAB.   Then her boyfriend will see a new, fresh ‘happy’ her. Men are attracted to ‘Happy.’ Men are atrracted to me, due to my ’spirit’ and well maybe my bare much boobs? However what will she have in the end….*spark!!* I LOVE IT! I hope to stay in touch with her.

Infact, to all young girls, she said something really important to me… and that was that she looked at my pictures, and loved my body…(i’m not a skinny girl at all,) she felt like i had the perfect body, (I don’t have the perfect body, there’s no such thing. I love the body i’ve got, which is very different) and she noticed that I had a really good relationship with food. (I eat everything and anything and get called ‘Fat’ by haters every week, for being a well bodied UK size 8…and i don’t care, because i LOVE my body and i LOVE to eat. And if people could learn not to care about what others think OF them, then they will be the happiest beings in all the land.) Don’t let the twisted, twist you. The girl and I ended on a good, solid happy note and she is on the mend to a very happy future.

Oh an even better note, i should be meeting up with a ‘handsome’ this evening for a bit of ‘get to know each other more.’ It’s the one i kissed in the taxi, so it will be easy going, laid back and fun. I’m excited. Hopefully it’ll be alright.

Wunna Quote: Concentrate on living your life, rather than trying to trash the the life of another. Pick up YOUR litter.’

I know it’s late but i have a really busy tomorrow morning and i HAVE to tell you about this before the ‘moment’ is given away and filed under the ‘past.’ I’m finding it hilarious and pretty much the ideal partner any Glamour Puss could wish for.

Okay, so what some of you might not know, is that i get sent a lot of free stuff. Companies will randomly post me their products..well… what i call ‘goodies’ and if i like what i’ve been sent, i’ll usually blog about it. My blog is read on every continent right now, therefore when i do, they get excited and mainly because they will make a sale. I get excited because i like things for freeeee!

Annnnyway, most people get sent clothes,bags, shoes etc….I do from LA a lot of the time. I’ve recieved so many goodies and i mean keep it coming because i love it. However in England, what do i get sent? (This little slanted eyed, cutsie wootsie Kitty cat of Quaker boarding school bliss!) I get sent A DILDO. A pink one. Infact, I got mailed it from a company called ’sexyfun.co.uk’ last week.  However, i was working so  terribly much and travelling all over the giant place. Going to London, Wales, London, Leeds…God know where else…i was exhausted though, so i didn’t have time to truely appreciate my ‘goody.’

When i got back, i randomly ripped open a plastic grey parcel, and in it was a beautiful pink box…infact in the shape of a Barbie doll box and on it was a picture of a ‘bunny’ girl and the words ‘3 sensual functions.’ WHAT!!! Music to my ears much! Now i’m not even gonna lie to you. I’m an open minded girl and a rather sensual one at that. I’m known to have my ‘moments‘ of ‘alone time’ when i’m feeling a bit of a kinkerella. A good term, i tend to go with is ‘Fiddle in the middle.’ I’m 29…i can and I don’t fear the wrath of God, before you all start. I actually honestly love those moments to, because it taught me to  love my body, know my body, know what I enjoy and well it 100% keeps me out of trouble. There is NO breaking of hearts…when one chooses to sexually please themselves. I believe it’s healthy for you. Infact, i kinda use it as escapism. (But not this morning…i did it because i had a boy in my mind and was horny. LOL.)

Anyway, what a better time, (with me being all single and all that)  for such a gift to come. ‘Twisting, Vibrating, Rotating‘ it boasts and OMG…does it!!!! It’s like a beast of orgasmic pleaure that will put ALL men out of business eventually. You have NO IDEA how amazing this contraption is. It’s called the ‘Ravishing Rabbit.’ (Which i think is oddly cute.) It’s baby pink and ultra girly, so if you’re shy, it kinda makes you feel comforted like you’re not actually going to get a slapped wrist, for getting kinky with it under your sheets. (AND YOUR NOT!) It’s like Barbie…but in your vagina. (Did i get away with that?) I’m looking on the box now and It has a vibrating shaft (there is a God,) rotating pleasure beads (THAT LOOK LIKE PEARLS) ..it’s like the most glamourous dildo i’ve ever seen. Plus not only does it have a personality, and you can name it, and it twists in 2 different directions for ‘endless erotic pleasure,’ but you can CONTROL it. We can’t even do that with MEN! You can heighten or lessen your orgasm, with a push of a button. MAGICAL!

I’m not joking this bitch should be on every womans ‘What i want for Easter’ list. I don’t think i can end the day without it now. It’s my new best friend and i’ve named mine ‘Mary’ (like the virgin herself.) I mean, i could end up having an unhealthy addiction to this ‘Ravish Rabbit’-ness and i’m happy because i want have to deal with ‘boy drama.’  It ends with me throwing it in a drawer and pretending i’m a saint. lol

The funny thing about it, is that it is actually oddly intimate and i have NEVER had an orgasm like that in my life. Hahaha! I feel like a desperate housewife. I mean you all know they have them. I mean, i was telling a 50 year old at my mums work about it, all excited and like i was ‘cool.’ The lady looked me up and down and told me she already had one!!!! Hahaha! And LOVED IT! The Ravishing Rabbit is definitely the way forward, for all girls in that weird but fun, *single* phase. (And you won’t even catch herpes!! WOOHOO! Well unless you kinda have it, then you’re…unfortunate. )

Put it on you Easter list. I mean, i can imagine having fun with it, with a boyfriend even. It takes the pressure off the boy to please, If he’s armed with ‘Mary,’ he’s safe and it’s oddly cute. Anyway like the floozey that i am…i figured i’d thank ‘www.sexyfun.co.uk’ (i did an interview with them earlier,) and before i did, i also figured i’d go see what all their ‘online funtimes-for your pleasure’ was all about. OMG!!! It is like the cutest candy store of ‘ooh laa’ in the world ever. But all for getting that *spice* back into YOU and your sex life. They have shoes, make up dildos, stripper poles…EVERYTHING and it’s ALL baby pink. WHAT!!! Heaven much. AND it’s not just for girls, they sell  the WORLD’s best ‘ooh laa’ sex toys for MEN. I have no idea what they do…but my gay friend had his eyes McGlued to my laptop screen. I know what i’m getting everyone for Easter now. Haha.. I’m totally going for a pint with James who mailed me the dildo.

Best gift i got this week from a company. I have a date tomorrow. Excited!

A piccy of the ‘Ravishing Rabbit’  (I mean it even has a pink bunny on it and fair enough it clings onto your vagina and wiggles…but it really is the best thing going right now. I mean my good Christian friend Jen in LA, uses some other vibrator…like one that looks like a real life willy…and that thing broke half way through her ‘moment‘ and began to ’smoke’ up. Then the willy part stopped moving, and only the balls worked…she told me this over a martini at The Abbey. LMAO! I do miss Jen.) Go to  www.sexyfun.co.uk

My Interview:

http://www.sexyfun.co.uk/breaking-sex-news/chrissie-wunna-glamour-puss-and-lover-of-the-rabbit.html

It’s been a day of getting the ‘love’ from the ‘boys.’ I’m feeling AMAZING today. I intended to have a day of pussy cat chillax much, however, my day (as always) turned into ‘hey i know, why don’t you work!’ I had a being of ‘eww’ tell me that i ‘didn’t do much, if anything,’ and my answer to that is ‘yes, because i’m lucky.‘ But lets look back at the ‘not doing much,’ thing, because, i thought i had been a model (which is a properly paying job) for years and years and years…I acted, in LA and loved it. (That’s work.)  I’m a blogger. I get paid to show up places. I did a 7 episode  reality tv stint, i do  interviews around the world to inspire and i have a cosmetics line, two books, a fragrance and more tv to come, on it’s way this year alone? Therefore surely that’s doing quite a lot? (I’ve noticed the only people that go on about the ‘u don’t do anything’ and hate on people, are the ones that aren’t doing well themselves. It’s never the ones that are happy with their life.)  However, saying that I LOVE my life, and i enjoy being me. My actual reply was ‘I do life,‘ and i don’t really have to justify it. I’m one of those girls that just got lucky from living her life and writing about it. I treasure life. It’s the only ‘thing’ and the most important ‘thing’ we all have. I’m doing it ..i am…i am…and therefore specializing in the most precious gift in all of the world, therefore i concentrate on it, and ditch all negative bitty drama, that litters it. It’s a great deal harder than people think. (Hence all the drinking and winking.) But are you doing everything you ever wanted? I hope so…because i am and i feel AMAZNG! *Hair toss-strut* So you might aswell lay off, because it’s gonna take a lot more than that to get this kitty down. *Fans herself.* I enjoy how people say whatever they want to me, not thinking that i’ll say anything back. Now, i’m a playful fun time girl. I focus on ‘happy-wiggles and winking’ more than anything. But I BITE back and when i do…all of a sudden the ’stranger’ can’t take what they’ve dished out. Make sure if you’re ’spitting junk,’ that you can take it, when a few honest ’spits of junk’ come a boomeranging back at you. Lovely weather.

Anyway on a fruitier note, it’s been (like i mentioned earlier) a day of ‘the boys.’ Today i’ve been woo’d by a baker, who described hot cross buns to get into my panties. (I forgot to tell you that on the night of the Champagne party…i wore two pairs of knickers.) I enjoy dessert, it’s like dirty talk to me. However, when i told him, he went to town on all the magical things he could bake. (‘I can do cheescake, brownies, caramel….‘ *jizzes everywhere.* lol) I love bakers because they’re always jolly looking and smeared in icing and i like that he made the effort to ‘woo’ me. However, i did tell him that until he could turn puff pastry into swans, he would never be considered as the next Mr.Wunna (hyphen) Whatever his last name is.

Next came a hot, modelly, big, tanned and buffed shirtless boy. For me this gentleman, is already a no go, due to the fact that he used to date a good friend of mine. Long story short, he believes that him and I should ‘BREED immediately.’ When asked why? (Because as much as i am sensual…i do believe that pointless sex is messy and i have far too good a weave for it to get balls up, over a pointless *thrust.* I don’t want cum in it. I don’t care how many sit ups you can do.) Anyway, he responded with a ‘well i’m hot, you’re hot, therefore it would be a definite waste of hottness, if we didn’t.’ True. Who knew he’d have all those brains, with that braun.

THEN, i had a boy who went to school with me (there’s loads of them here in Yorkshire. I meeting people who have known me for 10 whole years, instead of 7 one hour episodes, whilst i was making a fool out of myself, for entertainment on the telly.) I do like the boys that have known me for years. They are at an advantage. They are much nicer to me than most. Anyway, this boy couldn’t really believe how well i had grown and promised me he was ’special,‘ and yes he needed me to satisfy his ’special needs.’ After a *giggle* i looked at my future of teaching him the alphabet and how to NOT lick windows, and went with ‘funny, but not that funny.’ But saying that, after i told him about teaching him the alphabet, he gleefully responded with a ‘GREAT, that’s just what i had in mind!‘ (I logged off….mentally. lol.)

After that, a couple boys from Bali wanted a go, i guy told me to meet me at 6pm for our wedding tonight, another asked if i liked ‘black willy,’ and finally a geezer geezer, told me i had passed some random ‘test of love.’ Test? I didn’t even know i was part of one?? Then one of my ex boyfriends, who was the Ralph Lauren underwear model in LA, inboxed me with a ‘Glad that ur single…i miss you baby!‘  (He’s ‘in a relationship,’ and a really good friend of mine.)  I changed my Facebook relationship status to ’single’ to remind potential suitors, and so i’d get loads of Attention. Woohoo! I’m Chrissie Wunna and having a lot of fun. *Batters eyelids.*

On a more serious boy note…the ’Lovely‘ that i passionately kissed in the back of a taxi, all the way home from Leeds the other night, who i also went to school with. ( I knew him when he was 11..and i was 17 and he would write me love letters and i would walk around lawns with him at a Quaker boarding school, during breaks. Lol.) Well he text me this morning, (I like that he’s attentive,) with a ‘Hope you had a gr8 weekend darling, and not forgotten too much of it. Hope to see you again!’

The *blip* of the text actually woke me up…which i like, because you start the day with a smile. Now, he’s quite shy an di’m quite forward, therefore i figured, i’d respond with a ‘Don’t worry, i completely remember the [his name here] bits of my night. Let’s arrange a meet up. He agreed..and well hopefully we’ll go for a little ‘get to know each other better’ drink this week. Wazza (my best friend) likes this choice of boy very much, to the point where his enthusiasm for him is creepy. Yet, he warned me not to bother messing it up, because he would be a GREAT guy for me. (Aww.) I do like when Wazza gives me love life advice…since ten minutes afterward he was blabbing on about how he was going to date an Eskimo, live in a igloo, a Norwegian girl, or one from Iceland who was cold and mental. (This this the man who runs my site!!!) He’s oddly and creepily happy today? It confuses. I’m the ‘Happy‘ one and he’s meant to shatter all my dreams and ridicule my whole entire existance. But whatever, i love it when everyone in Wunnaland is joyous…even without the use of pills, force or violence.

I’m excited to see this new boy again…because we left it ‘raunchy,‘ like i could’ve just got to the ‘rumpy’ in the taxi. He got me that heated and i have no idea how??? (Answer: Booze?) Hopefully, it will all go smoothly and he’ll be lovely and i’ll have another story to tell…which won’t end in drinking myself into a stuper, then crying myself to sleep. He grew up hot. Well done him..and he’s just text me with a ‘Been thinking about you sexy. How about Tuesday?’ Isn’t that tomorrow? I am gonna have to panic tan?

Life is perfectly delicious right now. I’m truely happy and being extremely positive. (Even though i’m being nagged by fellows, who wrongly believe they control my blog. It’s mine, ALL mine. Goddamit! *Grabs everything in sight, ferociously, at the speed of light!! *If you want one….WRITE ONE! It’s about the story of MY life…innit! *Applaud here*) I have my poor baby kitten on my knee called ‘Lucky Boo.’ He’s got the flu and is snotting on my crotch. Oh the life of a Glamour Puss.

Oh and i’m Chrissie Wunna….Join Me. x

Spent the whole day hungover at Meadowhall under sunglasses and pink jumpers, feeling like i could possibly ‘throw up* at any given time, in Ugg boots and will a mild ‘ooze’ of the dizzy fits. Luckily, i’m used to this feeling. Therefore i filed it under ‘Normal’ and with a delicious excitement and a giddy kitten smile of Greatness, i enjoyed the day, enjoyed the sunshine, DIVA’ed around the shopping centre like the pussycat i am, with my hot pink nails, tan and boobies. Then i totter-stumbled to ‘Yo sushi,’ asked for better seating..completely got it, (Hahaha…it’s the sunglasses inside thing,) then ate £80 worth of tiny sushi plates, that were going at £2.50 per plate, around a very slow conveyer belt. Woohoo! (I felt so sick and became exhausted. I couldn’t even walk.) Afterward, i got bored so i bought more hair. Why not? I’m a kitten of hungover ‘ooh laa.’ *Giggles behind hand.*

Anyway, bits of last night (which was GREAT by the way) are coming back to me. I remember first *strutting* in, perching on the highest stool known to mankind. A blond boy sauntering up to me…saying ‘Hello.’ Then before i could EVEN get a ‘Hi’ out, i literally and in slooow motion, (know that i was trying to look my height of ‘off the telly’ Glamour Puss) i topple off the stool, fall foward, smack into other high stool (there’s neon all around me) then try to stand up, only to fucking FALL AGAIN into a second stool!!! My face was priceless and the boy kinda pretended like it never happened. Hahaha! It took me ages to get back up, due to laughter.

I also remember a lovely guy, (luckily i was surrounded by men all night…*wink-pout.* It happens. I love it,) anyway yeah…some ‘lovely’ came up to me and told me i looked just like ‘that blogger girl..Chrissie Wunna.’ Instead of being all polite and humble…i opted for delicious and sassy and shouted, ‘I AM HER. THE LADY HERSELF.’ He didn’t believe me at all…which is always fun…or long. Then my friends actually had to convince him, so he could do a picture.  Infact, i also had a  boy tell me mid rum, that i am a much nicer person in real life, than i am on my blog. Apparently, i’m bitchy on here. Who me? Never! That’s a whack ‘boom diggy’ of  a compliment. I do enjoy it. * More rum please*

I also remember having a fight with a duffle coat, feeling a boys crotch up in a taxi, whilst whispering (well sort of demanding) that i wanted him. (I have apologised to him, for it. He didn’t mind. I hate the next day after drinking, because, it’s always about saying all my ’sorries.’) I only kissed him…deliciously, before you all start. Then at about 2am, i remember being stood outside my Mothers home, in heels that were sinking into mud and that Zebra nighty, with a pink handbag, screaming ‘LET ME IN!!!!’ I walked into a pole. Felt frisky. Went to bed smeeling like vodka. (I hate that.) Was almost sick, but wasn’t. Got room spin, passed out. YAY! Can’t really remember anything else? But i had a typical Wunna night. I loved my outfit. Oh and i found a random tiara in my handbag an hour ago. Like i tweeted, you KNOW you’re the REAL thing when that happens. *Worship me.*

The boy i made out with last night has been lovely. I texted him a ‘I completely adore you.’ He has mutual adoration and sent me a text back, telling me he would like to get to know me more. Me too. I’ve been trying to get to know me for years. It’s hard work and expensive. Then he told me he was ’so glad he met’ me. (The feel up must have worked. lol) And well i don’t know what happens from here. Like i said, i apologised for being forward. He apologised for being shy. (Aww…!) He said he was nervous in front of me. I never understand why boys are terrified of Me?

I also apologised to ‘Liverpool boy’ today too. Who is also quite dreamy, yet far less attentive. But he’s sweet. I do like him a lot. He gave me a ‘You don’t need to apologise,’ a laugh and a wink.) I really need to stop getting into scenarios, where i am having to say ’sorry.’ I also need to stop telling boys ‘i’m looking to settle down.’ I get all cute when drunk and start telling the truth. lol. NO. It’s just not a turn on to men, is it. But anyway on the whole, LIFE is GRAND. It’s marvellous. I’m happy and loving being Me. I hope you’re loving and living your life to it’s fullest. People are being nothing but delicious to me right now, (apart from the odd party pooping hater) and i’m very very grateful. I love you. Thankyou thankyou, very much.

Piccy sent to me by a fan…from last night. Aww! Love it much!

In a taxi late last night. Harriet in the front, Me in the back with a young boy i went to school with. (I randomly met him at the ‘do’ last night, with a jolly, lovely, but maybe a bit on drugs and getting thrown out for it, other friends i went to school with. ) They were a few years below me, during the good old school years. But due to my legendary Wunna status and more the fact that there were only 450 people in our whole ENTIRE school…we all know each other really really well. (I’m really hungover. I got really drunk. The thing was ok, last night. I mean, it could’ve been busier, boujier, and i could’ve been less drunk. Haha! I hate when vodka, steals my memories. But on the whole…i had fun wiggling around like a drunken dickhead. The good thing is that I now know i can now party play and maybe run Leeds with a *wink.* I’m known for being the Kitty cat who can throw a decent shindig with a snippety snap of my fingeroos. I’ve learnt the Hollywood way, via Hilton. Therefore yeah…alright night. I had lots of fun… got really McDrunky and all in my zebra nighty. *wiggle* I’m gonna do a night in Leeds and i’m gonna do it Wunna stylio.

I met Harriet (who i adore and who actually fell over and onto her FACE on her way home) at Xscape. We did drinks and did them well. I felt trashed. I believe we were quite popular, everyone seemed to know one of us from somewhere and well i LOVE PONTY. The people are as down to earth as you get. We got a what seemed like a ‘party’ train…’Henry’ (who i don’t know at all…) gave us free beer. The train was literally as busy as bar and we bantered with boys…who would like Harriet and I to combine our boobs into one BIG boob? I actually had fun on the train. I can’t remember too much of it? But we did arrive in Leeds and venture off like slaggamuffins to a Gay bar. I LOVE my gays. I think we were at Queens Court? Fit boys. More booze. Gay fan club and love life guidance…all at the bottom of our bottles of smirnoff ice. (We had to drink them, so we weren’t sick. I can’t think of anything more sickly…than a smirnoff ice.)

Anyway, i text ‘Liverpool boy’ whilst i was being gay…telling him i was being gay and looked like ‘Joan Collins.’ He responded quite happily…telling me he’s running and then eventually running marathons abroad. (Boys are always trying to get away from me anyhow. Let alone, one that can actually run, fast, long and for hours in record time.) We had a text banter. He’s  sweet again now. Then Harriet and I went far too early to The Loft.

I can’t really remember what happened..but we’ll file it under a ‘party’ and lots of old school friends and vodka. Harriet and i were the amazing..but we are aren’t we. Therefore i’ll deffo give us the trophy for ‘Best beings in there.’ OMG! I totally forgot that we kept doing The Robot for about 5 songs straight in the gay bar! CHAMPION.

Met this boy, who when i was in 6th form, he was in first year and not only did i used to take his prep. (They’d make 6th formers ‘play’ teacher for the night. My ‘preps’ were ace, because i’d always let them do whatever they wanted, provided when an actual teacher came in, they’d immediately, sit down, be quiet, lie and act like they’re doing their homework. All they did was be 13 and write me love letters. Aww. I did actually used to fancy one of them. Even though he was 13. Haha. And we’d go for walks on the lawn and i’d tell him he was far too young for me.

Annnyway, i made out with him last night. In the taxi. He’s now 24. I think he wants to be a driving instructor. He was extremely well mannered. Extremely sweet. We ’smoochied’ whilst throwing money at the cab driver who was letting me and Harriet smoke in his car. Haha. Harriet was sat in the front, getting ready to fall onto her own face. But yeah…lovely boy. Quite shy…apart from when he’s in the back of taxis. Great kisser. Wanted to make sure that i actually liked him and wasn’t just drunk. But i do. He’s sweet. He told the taxi driver we were childhood sweethearts. Aww…and then after lots of ‘make out’ i found myself infront of my home, and waving him off home. Nothing happened but kissing. Then he text me telling me ‘i’m something else.’

‘Liverpool boy’ text me this morning too. I think we might be working together shortly, which will be dandy. He’s an interesting being… so we’ll see. (Just got a BBM from the Billionaire Boys owner…simply winking at me and saying ‘How drunk were you, last night. lol’ Woohoo!  I’m now being told i was so drunk, i couldn’t zip this duffle coat i was wearing up and making EVERYONE attempt the challenge. Apparently it was funny. I remember it being…cold.)

I had fun. I love Harriet. We made a memory. I need to go get ready. I’ll tell you more about it all, when i can remember it. But MORE people need to come out in Leeds.

In a rush. I worngly thought i could lay in today. Instead i’ve been told that I am to venture off to Doncaster, to run daily errands, wave, smile, wake up and pout. I mean, i don’t mind at all, except i HATE to be rushed. I’ll tell a being my schedule…they won’t listen, and then they’ll just book my free time up, like it’s the last drunken slag at the bar.

Tonight, i’m out in Leeds. I’m doing the ‘Christian Audigier’ event, thrown my the Billionaire Boys Club. I’m gonna be blogging my evening, to tell you all how Leeds fairs up…I mean it’s going to be my new party kingdom, therefore i’m gonna be on the look out for the ‘fun’ kids. My new family of ‘ooh laa,’ much. *wiggle*

Anyway, i godda go. I hate this rush marlaky. Big love. Doncaster! Here I come! (Didn’t have time to wash my hair, therefore now i have to pay someone to do it for me. UGH!)

Looong day. I’ve just returned home after a busy day of shopping for the perfect party dress, fit for a Glamour Puss with a drinking problem. I rose at 7am..(kill me…i hate mornings) and from that point onward i slipped into the sexiest of slick much kitten heels and darlings I FUCKING shopped…

Unfortunately i had to take trains. I’ve realized i spend a great deal of my life at smelly train stations, which i’m not quite partial to. It’s full of stares and ‘why are you wearing that fur in this heat,’ looks. (Please, i’m a Yorkshire/Hollywood bratt..i’m flippy dippy cold much.) My first train was delayed. I looked divine, therefore i didn’t care that it was fashionably late. The second was also delayed. The third...yep couldn’t make it. The fourth…ooh look CANCELLED! Now, i’m the worst when it comes to waiting and a grubby smoker, therefore…after really trying my hardest to be all patient and zen…i managed to swear a lot, *hair toss,* complain, pull ‘diva faces’ and after a Bimbo ‘huff n puff,’ strut off LOUDLY, like i was the Queen of ALL….train stations? I then totttered outside, fell off my own heels, figured i’d smoke a ciggarette (in my own tragic haze..oh and this is in Barnsley by the way.) Then like Wonder Woman herself, I saw a train…a random exciting looking one and like the champion that i am,  i rushed (which is a sloooow very glamourous saunter…i don’t *rush* for things, they can wait for Me and bring me wine, while they’re at it.) I leaped (just stepped like a normal human being) onto it…not knowing where it was destined to venture and made my way to…Meadowhall! ( I actually had the wrong ticket…but i didn’t even one bit care. I got away with it too because i have pouty lips, big boobies and a look that said, ‘don’t ever cancel 4 trains on me again!‘

Got to Meadowhall, and decided to shop to relieve stress. OMG! I hunted up, down, in, out, round and round and under things to find the purrfect dress. I’m going to the the ‘Christian Audigier’ event by the Billionaire Boys Club, in Leeds tomorrow and i want to make my mark on the north. I mean i’ve smeared a reputation all over LA and London, Leeds needs to get eased in. I couldn’t find a dress anywhere. I had people all over the centre helping me. Lol! It was like we were saving the children of Africa. (‘We shall find that slut a dress and raise awareness immediately!!’)

Anyway long story short my feet started to hurt, so i bimbo tottered into La Senza. (Last time i was in there, i took a business meeting on my Black Berry and annoyed everyone, between the D-F cup rack.) A beautiful lady grabbed me 4 little ‘numbers’…that were lingerie, baby doll dresses/nighties in my size. (I’m an 8/E cup..in there.) I tried them on, and i ADORED THEM. I mean, I’d wear them around my kitchen. (God, i’ll make a good mistress.) I picked one….a zebra print one, with hot pink bows…(Delicious..i know) and yeah that’s my event dress! I’m going in a fucking nighty….like a slag! I asked the lady if it was appropriate…and with a ‘wink’ and a nod, and a ‘if you’ve got it, then flaunt it,‘ it was parcelled up for me, spritzed and i was sent on my way. I mean who cares! I love it. Plus, i’ll be drunk…and therefore i’ll not at all be worried with the *shame* of it all.

I hope there’s lots of hot boys there tomorrow. I’m in the mood for a bit of ‘handsome.’ I’m feeling minx like and well my dears, we love me, when i’m at my finest! Anyway, after all the *hoo haa* i trained it to Leeds…(it took for ever) but i eventually got there, to meet a man called Jason in a black, top down car. I bbm’ed Harriet (who’s going with me tomorrow) the whole way there…she wanted to know if ‘bulemia was still in?’ I mean, i told her she was a deliciously ‘well boobied, size 8…who looked like the face of all posh booze.’ Harriet took that information…and decided she was never gonna eat again. (I was stuffing a cheese and pickle sarnie in my face that i bought for £2.49.) Harriets my new best chick friend…i don’t know many girls, I tend to spend my time with boys. (Wink-Wiggle.) Therefore i have to be nice to her, before she gets fed up with me. But i will tell you that she did puke on her own face. Haha. And i did emotionally abuse a pork sausage. AND she IS trying to set me up with ‘off the telly’ boys, with BIG ‘members.’

Met Jason…i looked rough under sunglasses. He looked quite Hollywood..but in Leeds ’i own this town.’  It was yummy weather. He was in his black ‘top down’ car. I told him i bought knickers. We did an exchange. (Not a druggie one. A party membership card one, so i too can be a Billionaire Boy Bitch.) Then off i wiggled to my next destination.,,which was to absorb the city.

OMG…EVERYONE is HOT in Leeds!!! EVERYONE! There was eye candy EVERY, WHERE and i am NOT kidding. I could really be a proper slag in this town. I was outside, looking at my future, looking at the buildings, talking to Martin the tramp and telling him all about London. Then my vision was swamped by delicious men from all angles, all walks of life, all heights, weights, tans, and ooh laa. I almost collapsed. You do not even know!!  They were the hottest future arm candy, any girl could wish for. They looked all cosmo and trendy…and bitches i needed to fan myself down, LEAVE or take up public dry humping. (I opted for ‘Leave’..i mean, i always fan myself and well ‘dry humping publically’….that’s how i lost my virignity. Done! Done! I left!)

Trained it back to Ponty to meet my mum. Again other fashionably late being. I had wine in the meantime at Xscape. (Glamourous.) Then we purchased more uneccessary items, we had early dinner at ‘Pizza express.’ I loved it, but threw a tantrum out of exhaustion and because my Mother attempts to tell me what to do and tell me what to wear and TELL me what she doesn’t like about Me. I pulled a face…which scares her. (I’m evil.) Then we were friends again. Fear is your friend. Use it to your advantage.

Now i’m home, in my living room. I have to wash the weave, and tan. I’m extremely knackered. But i am LOVING my life! I just got called a ‘Gay Ninja Arab.’ This boy called ‘James’ fancies me, even though he’s broken up with his girlfriend for like one merry week. He calls me names to ‘woo’ me and thinks that I am him. Infact before i went to bed last night, i told him to say soemthing nice to me (this was via FB chat) so i could ease into Dreamland. He said, ‘U are very pretty, despite the fact that you’ve just called me ugly.‘ Haha. I’m a nice girl. And note…i didn’t call him ugly. I’m not completely evil. I simply said i couldn’t judge his ‘attractiveness’ from ONE GOOD picture. (Boys always show me one good picture.) He claimed i judged his ‘attractiveness‘ on 1000 bad ones instead.

Here Kitty Kitty..i’ll blog later. I’ve i’ve…(oops, a bit of a stutter there…) missed loads out!

I originate from here:                                                               But was born here: (Woohoo)

We moved here:                                                                       But then I moved here:

I followed a boy here:                                                            But after a month, I came back here:

Years later  i moved here:  (Off the telly much)                Which made me move here:

Now i want to move here: (To smear a little Wunna Love)

I’m Chrissie Wunna.

..and i’m pretty much doing life. It’s my story! My way! My search for my ultimate love, adventure, stardom and ofcourse my entire delicious purpose. I’m growing up and i’m terrified, but i’m doing it all with *sizzle*

Add boys, booze, drama, with a tiny touch of mistake making!  www.chrissiewunna.com 

I’m the The Ultimate Glamour Puss of fierce kitty ‘OOooh laaa’…  Join Me. (But remember to bring a bottle.) *Wink*