Welcome to Chrissie Wunna's Blog!

Date Tonight…

Okay, so i’m deliciously excited and a little bit nervy because at 9.30pm, i’m going to get picked up by a ‘Handsome’ who i’ll be spending ‘get to know each other more’ time with. I love dates because i’m a girly girl and i enjoy excitement, but it  is rather nerve racking. I’ve just got out the bath, fake tanned, done my face and and hair. I’m currently in baby blue pyjamas and picking out something lovely, yet casual to wear. I’m not gonna try too hard, because it terrifies them and they get all shy. I don’t really know what’ll work, but i enjoy comfy little dress right now, with over the knee stocking socks and heels. (I need my best assets to work for me here. lol. Eyes. Tits. Teeth.)

Now, i’m a real life Glamour puss…like i love everything girly. Actually now i’ve said that, I think i more enjoy the ‘process’ of being a girl. How we grow, change and end up. However, it’s ‘date night’ so i’m gonna be far more superficial, and tell you that i enjoy taking the whole entire day to get ready for a date. (Wella  few jolly hours.) I enjoy the bubbly bath before. The process of slowly doing my face, with a wine (hence why it’s always a bit draggy lol.) I love picking out of outfits, the moisturising, the tanning, the hair tossing, the giddy excitement and well the entire grooming process, that takes place in order to look ‘ooh laa’ for your date. It’s fun being a girl, because we can spend hours doing it. I’m had a wonderful day. I worked in the morning, had the rest of the day off, and even though a ‘fucked up human being’ decided to text everyone like a mentalist because i didn’t want to hang out with him and go on about me being fake…i’ve managed to sort it all out with everyone i care about. I don’t even know this person, and well all i need to remember is that when ALL of your best friends are telling you to stay well clear of a being…they are usually right. I think i got saved by the Gods, because if he’s this evil now, imagine how evil he’d be in the future. (Like who honestly…and i am humoured by it, sends everyone a million text messages trying to make them hate Chrissie Wunna, when they themselves have probably spent 3 hours of their life in total with me…drunk. They are not even a friend. They know me off Twitter!! Who wastes their time, sending everyone a negative text message…in dying hope.. due to manipulation.. that they will too decide to dislike me. Lol. Awful!) Like i said before if you have to trash the life of another, in order to make yourself feel better …then you really are [insert something tragic here.] BE HAPPY! I truely dislike people like that, because he made everyone look  silly. But the good thing is the fact that it happened now…at least i’ll never have to see him again. I do not have people like that in my life. But i guess he thought I’d never find out? This is a being that i will never talk to again. *scroll delete* Weirdo! ( I would’ve actually liked him if he didn’t do all that. People like him ruin it for all the others.)

Share and Enjoy:
  • Facebook
  • Google Bookmarks
  • MySpace
  • Ping.fm
  • StumbleUpon
  • Tumblr
  • Twitter

Go on…Have a cuddle…

As you my cherry treats of ‘winky’ were tucked up in your hopefully soiled satin sheets in dreamland. I was being pulled out of bed, looking like a pork dumpling, having my hair pulled, things plucked, an army of brushes attacking my face and then being handed a coffee with a slap, whilst being placed into baby pink jogging bottoms, sunglasses and thrown into a car that was waiting outside my house to take me to work. I had a shoot…for something i have coming up. It had to be an early morning one…due to other peoples schedules. Now, i’m not a morning Kitty, but work always comes first with me. I often have other beings (like when i was in London) try to ruin my ‘work’ by trying to sabbottage me the night before. (Nice try!) However, nothing is more important to me…i’ll always be there, ready, fresh, on time and excited. I’m not silly. (Well i am silly.) But I’m 29 and well…. i have my priorities right.

It was a gorgeous morning, sort of chilly, but crisp. Fucking springtime is here bitches. I heard birds instead of my normal North London sirens and saw smiles instead of  that angry London look of ‘pressure.’ I felt completely amazing, to the poimnt where i actually nodded and chuckled to myself, as i looked out the car window that ventured me to the studio. (I spilt my coffee down my chest. A lot of things have accidentally soiled my chest *flashback of me turning up on DK’s doorstep, after having sex with My ex-hubby Mikey in the front of his car, down a quiet West Hollywood street by gates, at night, so nobody would see and then running up to get changed to a night out with him on the tiles. Dk opened his door, looked at a giant stain on my  shirt and with a ‘DK, yeah it’s cum’ he let me in and i slipped into something less messy*..but yeah don’t you just hate it when it’s coffee that’s spilt down your top andnd mainly because there’s no story behind it. I went from looking like a Glamour Puss, to a gypo, in seconds. Then got told i was a ‘Lucky girl.’)

My shoot went amazingly well. I’m getting really excited about life right now, and it’s all because i’m being positive and loving everything and everyone around me. I went from feeling lonely and mildly used, to now feeling like i’m surrounded by happiness, hundreds of people who have known me for years..as in ten years, the most loving, warm family and a *glint* in my eye that is keeping my fun alive. I’m ON TOP OF THE WORLD right now and nothing can seem to shake that. It’s important you keep yourself surrounded by positive people. (Ooh i’m getting a text from a hot, muscled bound hero..Thankyou Lord.) Oh and remember…being a Wunna means, you NEVER need to feel like you have to explain yourself. Live YOUR life. Love YOUR friends and make YOUR mark on this land!!

Last night, i was on the phone to LA, on the phone to New york, had all my friends call me, love me, tell me off. I had a bbm banter with

Share and Enjoy:
  • Facebook
  • Google Bookmarks
  • MySpace
  • Ping.fm
  • StumbleUpon
  • Tumblr
  • Twitter

Me & My Ravishing Rabbit

I know it’s late but i have a really busy tomorrow morning and i HAVE to tell you about this before the ‘moment’ is given away and filed under the ‘past.’ I’m finding it hilarious and pretty much the ideal partner any Glamour Puss could wish for.

Okay, so what some of you might not know, is that i get sent a lot of free stuff. Companies will randomly post me their products..well… what i call ‘goodies’ and if i like what i’ve been sent, i’ll usually blog about it. My blog is read on every continent right now, therefore when i do, they get excited and mainly because they will make a sale. I get excited because i like things for freeeee!

Annnnyway, most people get sent clothes,bags, shoes etc….I do from LA a lot of the time. I’ve recieved so many goodies and i mean keep it coming because i love it. However in England, what do i get sent? (This little slanted eyed, cutsie wootsie Kitty cat of Quaker boarding school bliss!) I get sent A DILDO. A pink one. Infact, I got mailed it from a company called ’sexyfun.co.uk’ last week.  However, i was working so  terribly much and travelling all over the giant place. Going to London, Wales, London, Leeds…God know where else…i was exhausted though, so i didn’t have time to truely appreciate my ‘goody.’

When i got back, i randomly ripped open a plastic grey parcel, and in it was a beautiful pink box…infact in the shape of a Barbie doll box and on it was a picture of a ‘bunny’ girl and the words ‘3 sensual functions.’ WHAT!!! Music to my ears much! Now i’m not even gonna lie to you. I’m an open minded girl and a rather sensual one at that. I’m known to have my ‘moments‘ of ‘alone time’ when i’m feeling a bit of a kinkerella. A good term, i tend to go with is ‘Fiddle in the middle.’ I’m 29…i can and I don’t fear the wrath of God, before you all start. I actually honestly love those moments to, because it taught me to  love my body, know my body, know what I enjoy and well it 100% keeps me out of trouble. There is NO breaking of hearts…when one chooses to sexually please themselves. I believe it’s healthy for you. Infact, i kinda use it as escapism. (But not this morning…i did it because i had a boy in my mind and was horny. LOL.)

Anyway, what a better time, (with me being all single and all that)  for such a gift to come. ‘Twisting, Vibrating, Rotating‘ it boasts and OMG…does it!!!! It’s like a beast of orgasmic pleaure that will put ALL men out of business eventually. You have NO IDEA how amazing this contraption is. It’s called the ‘Ravishing Rabbit.’ (Which i think is oddly cute.) It’s baby pink and ultra girly, so if you’re shy, it kinda makes you feel comforted like you’re not actually going to get a slapped wrist, for getting kinky with it under your sheets. (AND YOUR NOT!) It’s like Barbie…but in your vagina. (Did i get away with that?) I’m looking on the box now and It has a vibrating shaft (there is a God,) rotating pleasure beads (THAT LOOK LIKE PEARL

Share and Enjoy:
  • Facebook
  • Google Bookmarks
  • MySpace
  • Ping.fm
  • StumbleUpon
  • Tumblr
  • Twitter

Should’ve Put a Riiiiiiing on it….

It’s been a day of getting the ‘love’ from the ‘boys.’ I’m feeling AMAZING today. I intended to have a day of pussy cat chillax much, however, my day (as always) turned into ‘hey i know, why don’t you work!’ I had a being of ‘eww’ tell me that i ‘didn’t do much, if anything,’ and my answer to that is ‘yes, because i’m lucky.‘ But lets look back at the ‘not doing much,’ thing, because, i thought i had been a model (which is a properly paying job) for years and years and years…I acted, in LA and loved it. (That’s work.)  I’m a blogger. I get paid to show up places. I did a 7 episode  reality tv stint, i do  interviews around the world to inspire and i have a cosmetics line, two books, a fragrance and more tv to come, on it’s way this year alone? Therefore surely that’s doing quite a lot? (I’ve noticed the only people that go on about the ‘u don’t do anything’ and hate on people, are the ones that aren’t doing well themselves. It’s never the ones that are happy with their life.)  However, saying that I LOVE my life, and i enjoy being me. My actual reply was ‘I do life,‘ and i don’t really have to justify it. I’m one of those girls that just got lucky from living her life and writing about it. I treasure life. It’s the only ‘thing’ and the most important ‘thing’ we all have. I’m doing it ..i am…i am…and therefore specializing in the most precious gift in all of the world, therefore i concentrate on it, and ditch all negative bitty drama, that litters it. It’s a great deal harder than people think. (Hence all the drinking and winking.) But are you doing everything you ever wanted? I hope so…because i am and i feel AMAZNG! *Hair toss-strut*

Share and Enjoy:
  • Facebook
  • Google Bookmarks
  • MySpace
  • Ping.fm
  • StumbleUpon
  • Tumblr
  • Twitter

Video Profile 6 (Part 1)

Well here we are again my little dumplings of ‘Pump.’ *Hair toss-Pout.* I’m actually working harder than i thought i would be today, for a girl that is meant to be resting. This ‘IT’ girl, Queen of drunken Greatness, Glamour pussy , *wink wink* marlarky, has turned into a full time, long hours much job.  I’m loving it. I’m feeling lucky! How nice is the weather today! Woohoo! *Wiggle*

Like a lot of you know, i did a 5 hour interview session, with the  fabulous Martin Kay, who wanted to know what made this little Kitty cat, tick. I rambled on so much, that it had to get turned into a series of ‘video profiles.’ You’ve seen 1 to 5…which covered my life, being on the ‘Paris Hilton British best friend’ show, my ex-marriage, my views on life, people, me and the world. I covered my time growing up in Hollywood, acting, modelling, and basic jiggery pokery. Now we have Profile 6….(hahah.) It had to be done in two parts, because it seems my rambling is pretty decent for a floozey of deliciousness.

This is part one…. :) Welcome to Me being Baaaad to the Bone!

Share and Enjoy:
  • Facebook
  • Google Bookmarks
  • MySpace
  • Ping.fm
  • StumbleUpon
  • Tumblr
  • Twitter

It’s all coming back to me…

Share and Enjoy:
  • Facebook
  • Google Bookmarks
  • MySpace
  • Ping.fm
  • StumbleUpon
  • Tumblr
  • Twitter

Yep Got Drunk

In a taxi late last night. Harriet in the front, Me in the back with a young boy i went to school with. (I randomly met him at the ‘do’ last night, with a jolly, lovely, but maybe a bit on drugs and getting thrown out for it, other friends i went to school with. :) ) They were a few years below me, during the good old school years. But due to my legendary Wunna status and more the fact that there were only 450 people in our whole ENTIRE school…we all know each other really really well. (I’m really hungover. I got really drunk. The thing was ok, last night. I mean, it could’ve been busier, boujier, and i could’ve been less drunk. Haha! I hate when vodka, steals my memories. But on the whole…i had fun wiggling around like a drunken dickhead. The good thing is that I now know i can now party play and maybe run Leeds with a *wink.* I’m known for being the Kitty cat who can throw a decent shindig with a snippety snap of my fingeroos. I’ve learnt the Hollywood way, via Hilton. Therefore yeah…alright night. I had lots of fun… got really McDrunky and all in my zebra nighty. *wiggle* I’m gonna do a night in Leeds and i’m gonna do it Wunna stylio. ;)

I met Harriet (who i adore and who actually fell over and onto her FACE on her way home) at Xscape. We did drinks and did them well. I felt trashed. I believe we were quite popular, everyone seemed to know one of us from somewhere and well i LOVE PONTY. The people are as down to earth as you get. We got a what seemed like a ‘party’ train…’Henry’ (who i don’t know at all…) gave us free beer. The train was literally as busy as bar and we bantered with boys…who would like Harriet and I to combine our boobs into one BIG boob? I actually had fun on the train. I can’t remember too much of it? But we did arrive in Leeds and venture off like slaggamuffins to a Gay bar. I LOVE my gays. I think we were at Queens Court? Fit boys. More booze. Gay fan club and love life guidance…all at the bottom of our bottles of smirnoff ice. (We had to drink them, so we weren’t sick. I can’t think of anything more sickly…than a smirnoff ice.)

Anyway, i text ‘Liverpool boy’ whilst i was being gay…telling him i was being gay and looked like ‘Joan Collins.’ He responded quite happily…telling me he’s running and then eventually running marathons abroad. (Boys are always trying to get away from me anyhow. Let alone, one that can actually run, fast, long and for hours in record time.) We had a text banter. He’s  sweet again now. Then Harriet and I went far too early to The Loft.

I can’t really remember what happened..but we’ll file it under a ‘party’ and lots of old school friends and vodka. Harriet and i were the amazing..but we are aren’t we. Therefore i’ll deffo give us the trophy for ‘Best beings in there.’ OMG! I totally forgot that we kept doing The Robot for about 5 songs straight in the gay bar! CHAMPION.

Met this boy, who when i was in 6th form, he was in first year and not only did i used to take his prep. (They’d make 6th formers ‘play’ teacher for the night. My ‘preps’ were ace, because i’d always let them do whatever they wanted, provided when an actual teacher came in, they’d immediately, sit down, be quiet, lie and act like they’re doing their homework. All they did was be 13 and write me love letters. Aww. I did actually used to fancy one of them. Even though he was 13. Haha. And we’d go for walks on the lawn and i’d tell him he was far too young for me.

Annnyway, i made out with him last night. :) In the taxi. :) He’s now 24. I think he wants to be a driving instructor. He was extremely well mannered. Extremely sweet. We ’smoochied’ whilst throwing money at the cab driver who was letting me and Harriet smoke in his car. Haha. Harriet was sat in the front, getting ready to fall onto her own face. But yeah…lovely boy. Quite shy…apart from when he’s in the back of taxis. Great kisser. Wanted to make sure that i actually liked him and wasn’t just drunk. But i do. He’s sweet. He told the taxi driver we were childhood sweethearts. Aww…and then after lots of ‘make out’ i found myself infront of my home, and waving him off home. Nothing happened but kissing. Then he text me telling me ‘i’m something else.’ ;)

‘Liverpool boy’ text me this morning too. I think we might be working together shortly, which will be dandy. He’s an interesting being… so we’ll see. (Just got a BBM from the Billionaire Boys owner…simply winking at me and saying ‘How drunk were you, last night. lol’ Woohoo!  I’m now being told i was so drunk, i couldn’t zip this duffle coat i was wearing up and making EVERYONE attempt the challenge. Apparently it was funny. I remember it being…cold.)

I had fun. I love Harriet. We made a memory. I need to go get ready. I’ll tell you more about it all, when i can remember it. But MORE people need to come out in Leeds.

Share and Enjoy:
  • Facebook
  • Google Bookmarks
  • MySpace
  • Ping.fm
  • StumbleUpon
  • Tumblr
  • Twitter

Popping into Town

In a rush. I worngly thought i could lay in today. Instead i’ve been told that I am to venture off to Doncaster, to run daily errands, wave, smile, wake up and pout. I mean, i don’t mind at all, except i HATE to be rushed. I’ll tell a being my schedule…they won’t listen, and then they’ll just book my free time up, like it’s the last drunken slag at the bar.

Tonight, i’m out in Leeds. I’m doing the ‘Christian Audigier’ event, thrown my the Billionaire Boys Club. I’m gonna be blogging my evening, to tell you all how Leeds fairs up…I mean it’s going to be my new party kingdom, therefore i’m gonna be on the look out for the ‘fun’ kids. My new family of ‘ooh laa,’ much. *wiggle*

Anyway, i godda go. I hate this rush marlaky. Big love. Doncaster! Here I come! (Didn’t have time to wash my hair, therefore now i have to pay someone to do it for me. UGH!)

Share and Enjoy:
  • Facebook
  • Google Bookmarks
  • MySpace
  • Ping.fm
  • StumbleUpon
  • Tumblr
  • Twitter

A Dress, A Dress. My Kingdom for a Dress!

Looong day. I’ve just returned home after a busy day of shopping for the perfect party dress, fit for a Glamour Puss with a drinking problem. I rose at 7am..(kill me…i hate mornings) and from that point onward i slipped into the sexiest of slick much kitten heels and darlings I FUCKING shopped…

Unfortunately i had to take trains. I’ve realized i spend a great deal of my life at smelly train stations, which i’m not quite partial to. It’s full of stares and ‘why are you wearing that fur in this heat,’ looks. (Please, i’m a Yorkshire/Hollywood bratt..i’m flippy dippy cold much.) My first train was delayed. I looked divine, therefore i didn’t care that it was fashionably late. The second was also delayed. The third...yep couldn’t make it. The fourth…ooh look CANCELLED! Now, i’m the worst when it comes to waiting and a grubby smoker, therefore…after really trying my hardest to be all patient and zen…i managed to swear a lot, *hair toss,* complain, pull ‘diva faces’ and after a Bimbo ‘huff n puff,’ strut off LOUDLY, like i was the Queen of ALL….train stations? I then totttered outside, fell off my own heels, figured i’d smoke a ciggarette (in my own tragic haze..oh and this is in Barnsley by the way.) Then like Wonder Woman herself, I saw a train…a random exciting looking one and like the champion that i am,  i rushed (which is a sloooow very glamourous saunter…i don’t *rush* for things, they can wait for Me and bring me wine, while they’re at it.) I leaped (just stepped like a normal human being) onto it…not knowing where it was destined to venture and made my way to…Meadowhall! ( I actually had the wrong ticket…but i didn’t even one bit care. I got away with it too because i have pouty lips, big boobies and a look that said, ‘don’t ever cancel 4 trains on me again!

Got to Meadowhall, and decided to shop to relieve stress. OMG! I hunted up, down, in, out, round and round and under things to find the purrfect dress. I’m going to the the ‘Christian Audigier’ event by the Billionaire Boys Club, in Leeds tomorrow and i want to make my mark on the north. I mean i’ve smeared a reputation all over LA and London, Leeds needs to get eased in. I couldn’t find a dress anywhere. I had people all over the centre helping me. Lol! It was like we were saving the children of Africa. (‘We shall find that slut a dress and raise awareness immediately!!’)

Anyway long story short my feet started to hurt, so i bimbo tottered into La

Share and Enjoy:
  • Facebook
  • Google Bookmarks
  • MySpace
  • Ping.fm
  • StumbleUpon
  • Tumblr
  • Twitter

Learning Life As I *strut* along…

I originate from here:                                                               But was born here: (Woohoo)

   

We moved here:                                                                       But then I moved here:

 

I followed a boy here:                                                            But after a month, I came back here:

 

Years later  i moved here:  (Off the telly much)                Which made me move here:

  

Now i want to move here: (To smear a little Wunna Love)

I’m Chrissie Wunna.

..and i’m pretty much doing life. It’s my story! My way! My search for my ultimate love, adventure, stardom and ofcourse my entire delicious purpose. I’m growing up and i’m terrified, but i’m doing it all with *sizzle*

Add boys, booze, drama, with a tiny touch of mistake making!  www.chrissiewunna.com 

I’m the The Ultimate Glamour Puss of fierce kitty ‘OOooh laaa’…  Join Me. (But remember to bring a bottle.) *Wink*

Share and Enjoy:
  • Facebook
  • Google Bookmarks
  • MySpace
  • Ping.fm
  • StumbleUpon
  • Tumblr
  • Twitter